Andrea Pflaumer's Blog

Shortly after we lost this icon of American culture, I received an inquiry from a reader who wanted to know what Dolly’s style essences were. In some sense, it really doesn’t matter. That’s because Dolly Parton created an entirely new version of herself, Dolly 2.0.From all her professional photos we see the ultra glam, curvaceous woman. But the more typical exaggerated curves and quietly alluring and seductive personality of a Romantic type didn’t quite describe her completely. For starters, Dolly was petite, just five feet tall. Now, a Romantic style type can be petite. Her skin did have the cellular texture that can suggest Romantic. And, yes, she definitely had curves.

A pair of Dolly’s sequined cowboy boots

But the on-stage style that she embraced emphasized glitter and glam. Those were more Dramatic than Romantic elements. She never met a sequin she didn’t love. What I often explain to clients is that Romantic style is somewhat subdued and subtle, it leaves something to the imagination. Dolly left next to nothing to the imagination, and she did that intentionally. Her style was edgier. She took everything she had, exaggerated it, and then owned it, big time. So let’s start with the “edgy”.

Edginess can be the domain of two different essences: Dramatic and High Spirited. Dramatic types are usually – not always but often – tall and have a strong commanding presence. She certainly had a commanding presence. But her energy was more that of a sassy playfulness. She had a kind of “wink-wink” quality that let you in on the joke. Particularly based on her height, it felt more like a High Spirited energy. Another physical High Spirited feature was the slightly crooked, asymmetrical smile that appeared when she spoke.Regarding energy, kinetic energy is a High Spirited feature. Unless she was seated for a more serious interview Dolly was always in motion, especially on stage. But her movements weren’t smooth and sultry. They were actually kind of jerky and playful. (The jerky motion may have been a result of the sky high heels she wore!) There was a bit of mischief about her. She was known to be a prankster on late night talk show. You get a hint of that in her earliest photos.So, if you combine her height, her movements, and her wild sense of humor – especially her self deprecating humor – you have the formula for a High Spirited style type. It was still sexy and sassy style but not one suggesting the sultry allure of a Romantic nor the slightly aloof, commanding one of Dramatic.

And then, there were unmistakable details in her face that pointed to a large amount of Youthful. Little rounded puffs underneath the lower eye lids are a feature typical in a Youthful face.Also, her deep dimples were a dead giveaway for Youthful in her essence blend. In terms of her coloring, Dolly was primarily a Spring color type. I’ve observed that those whose natural coloring is Spring tend to have a sunny outlook. There just seems to be a correlation between spring coloring and the upbeat, optimistic qualities of those with a lot of the Youthful style essence.But notice the breadth of her forehead, the straight, not rounded, side planes of her face, and the strong angle at her jaw. I believe she also had something of an inverted triangle body shape – her shoulders were slightly broader than her hips. That’s often an athletic body. And athletic bodies tend toward Natural.This makes sense, as the personality and energy of a Natural type is a combination of unpretentiousness and self-possession. Dolly had both. And she also was nobody’s fool. She was an extremely savvy businesswoman. Natural is also a “what-you-see-is-what-you-get” energy and expression. It’s what we would expect of someone with hardly a trace of personal or emotional artifice. Unlike the glamorous persona she created, at her core she was simply down to earth. This is why people felt so comfortable and trusting around her.Adding to the mix, there’s one photograph of her from teens that evokes a sense of hope and gentleness. You get the feeling that she saw herself as a recent plant on mother Earth with a story to tell and a job to do. Her gentle narrow, blue, gray eyes, and before the heavy eye makeup made them appear large and open, slightly heavier lids, suggested a touch of Angelic.

So, what about the over-the-top body and the glam fashion? If you’ve read her biography you know that her look was inspired by a woman in the town near where she grew up. Her mother’s assessment was that the woman was not who Dolly should emulate.

Dolly on the porch of her childhood home. Photo courtesy of photographer Sebastian Smith

But for the young girl who grew up with 11 siblings in a drab two-room cabin without indoor plumbing, electricity, or running water, that “trashy” woman visually represented everything beautiful that Dolly aspired to. From the long red painted fingernails to the colorful, tight clothes, that was the image Dolly would model herself after.

Although she was naturally fairly well endowed, (when she first met her beloved husband of 62 years, Carl Dean, she noted that he stared only at her eyes) she had breast augmentation fairly early in her career. By her own admission, she was a big fan of plastic surgery. This is likely how she created the exaggerated double curve in her body that is more typical of a Romantic body type. She once shocked a young male fan by saying, “I have a great ass too!”

Regardless of the details that describe the multiple essences in her style blend, she wholeheartedly embraced what she considered a Romantic “look”. She was the most girly of girls, the most womanly of women. She loved makeup, she loved showing her curves. She loved fancy, flashy, beautiful clothes.

The bombshell, the prankster, the down to earth country girl, and the angel: that’s who Dolly was. My favorite of her many memorable quotes was, “learn who you are and do it on purpose”.

She did both. And because of that, as well as her kindness, her generosity of spirit and philanthropy, and how she modeled optimism yes, Dolly, we will always love you too.

The post Dolly Parton’s Style appeared first on Shopping for the Real You.

In April I promised to share the colors I am wearing these days. (With the launch of Choose Color First everything got delayed.) Now, this week at Costco they had (deep breath) Halloween merchandise! And Christmas ribbon!!! But dang it, it’s only early August! And since our hottest months here in the Bay Area are August through October I’m still living in summer clothes. So here, finally, are some photos showing how I wear my palette colors in warmer weather clothes, and the “why” of each one.

First, my latest purchases. As a petite, coming in at about 5’ these days, the clothes I often can wear right off the rack are from Old Navy or Gap. That’s because they cater to pre-teens and teens who are generally shorter and have petite proportions.

That’s lucky for me. The tank is ruched on the sides and has cute little amber beads on the side tie. The crops are from a recent haul from Old Navy. (I had just taken the pants out of the bag which is why they’re still wrinkled.) In person, the crops don’t actually look  that long. My hub took the pic and was standing on an elevated surface.

The chartreuse blouse was an old buy from about two years ago. This one from Everlane is similar.

Everlane gauze blouse $109

The belt bag was from Quince. But they no longer seem to have the burgundy color. This one from Walmart is very close and also comes in ten colors.

Belt Bag Walmart $14.99

The cap is many years old but Amazon always has a ton of them. This one below comes in dozens of colors and is better constructed for women’s heads than a lot of baseball caps.

Cotton baseball cap $14.99

From the same Old Navy haul I also got these rayon pants. They fit perfectly in length, have a great drape, and I love the color. It’s one of the “refined” colors in my palette. I love pairing them with the chartreuse top because they have similar saturation levels and make a colorful statement about refinement with playfulness. They come in regular, tall, and petite, and are on a crazy sale right now, so sizes are going fast.

Old Navy rayon wide leg pants $19.99

The blouse that I purchased with it was close in color but I prefer to wear it separately. I also bought it in olive green but they have sold out of that color. They will be my summer “jackets” or nearly tunics that I wear with tank tops and slim jeans.

Old Navy Linen and rayon blend loose blouse $36

On my website pop up you’ll see my pic in this yellow blouse. I bought it a couple of years ago at Chico’s. To be honest, (I’m starting a movement against the abbreviation of words, e.g., “tbh”) it’s slightly saturated for my yellows. But I love it and it just makes me happy. Here’s how I wear it now.

My rule:” when the color is more saturated than your skin tone can handle, adjust your makeup to make it work.”

This one is from a company on Amazon and it comes in 17 colors. It says it’s cotton and linen. I might buy one of the colors to verify that because this price suggests otherwise.

Oversized linen blouse $8.99

As I mention in Choose Color First, if you are mostly a summer color type, (or what my artist friend Judy LaMar suggested as Subtle Blended for John Kitchener’s work) you likely won’t have any yellow in your palette unless you have a strong secondary seasonal influence from another season, usually Spring.

The linen pants I wore with it are from Nordstrom a couple of years ago but they seem to have them yearly in their Caslon brand. It’s a perennial item. And of course, Quince always has them. These are available in multiple colors and one stripe.

Quince linen pants $42

And then the sandals, which are also from Quince. They remind me of my beloved Bernardos from the 1970s. And although I don’t wear black, I do include it in accessories, especially worn away from my face. Toe strap sandals are a next “new” (old) thing apparently.

Quince black tow strap sandals $74

Vionic has these on sale:

Vionic patent leather T-strap sandal $49.99

One fit caveat. The wide instep strap is high. If you have a high arch they will fit perfectly. But a lot of customers complained about that. I just made the heel strap one notch tighter and they fit me just fine. They are pretty comfortable and I’ve worn them out doing errands with no problem.

Many years ago I bought this pale blue blouse by Cloth and Stone, from Anthropologie. The sleeves are very long and I haven’t had them altered because I simply use the tabs to shorten them. This is a heavy, drapey beautiful cotton and the construction is excellent. It’s my very lightest pastel shade. We all have some pastels and they make us look fresh and often, younger. (The lighting in this photo doesn’t show the color – or my skin! – quite accurately.) The pastels in our red shades – light pinks, corals, etc. – make us look younger!

Although the color on this blouse below is deeper, I’m showing it because it is from the same manufacturer. Anthropologie usually carries several of this brand, but the only similar one right now a denim version.

Cloth and Stone denim blouse at Anthropologie $98

Summer wouldn’t be summer without stripes! This is from Zara, another old purchase. They have very fast turnover so you wouldn’t ever find it again. I adore this piece because it has a casual but slightly unexpected placement of the stripes. (You can’t quite see that because stripes often  kind of blur together in photos and videos.) That suits my amount of High Spirited (gamine), my main style facet. But, basically, it’s simply an oversized, fine blue striped blouse that is likely available in several places.

Nordstrom has a light blue one from H&M. (It looks like they’re carrying a lot of the hipper mass merchandiser brands lately like Madewell, Mango, and H&M and a lot of them are on their semi annual sale right now.) So, at this price it has to be part polyester. Anthropologie has the second one  is several colors, but sizes are limited.

Nordstrom – H&M Rayon and poly striped blouse $29.99

Anthropologie batwing striped blouse $98

I love my greens. And I love chartreuse. It’s a playful color in my palette. It makes me feel energized. This long sleeved one is pretty old, from JJill. I just Haven’t found anything similar there this year.

But this one from Banana Republic is something I might buy now if I didn’t have the one I’m wearing in the photo. But it’s a little tamer than my chartreuse.

Banana Republic striped blouse $79.99

Lastly, I wanted to show how I wear “designer” items. “ I bought it last year (which is why my hair is longer in this photo) on Etsy because I couldn’t resist. It has one of my reds and the background is a darker white – ivory – which is about as light as I can go in the direction of white. It reflects my High Spirited energy, which often allows for adding something “playful and unexpected”. I just had to buy it. I tried to find it again to give you a link but I’m guessing the company sued them for using their logo falsely. Some attorneys have no sense of humor.

I’d love to know how you’re incorporating color into your wardrobe these days.

The post My Colors: What I’m Wearing Now appeared first on Shopping for the Real You.

First the looooong history…

If you’ve been following my color course journey you know that ten years ago I met with my color analyst, John Kitchener, Director of Personal Style Counselors, to discuss the possibility of creating a book together about color analysis. The idea was to de-mystify the process and give readers the tools to understand how to have more ownership of their own coloring and their color palette, and get clear on how to use their colors.

John was extremely enthusiastic. Over the years he shared knowledge and material from his fledgling attempts at creating that book himself, but which never came to fruition. Meanwhile, I spent a year trying to get a publisher to pick up the project. Repeatedly I was told that four-color image-rich books, like what we proposed, were extremely expensive to produce and no publisher would express interest in taking that risk.

So, I came up with plan B, turning the material into an online course.

The short version of the rest of the story was that when I presented the finished project to John, he loved and raved about it. And then, three days later, completely did a 180. He said that after thinking about it, the material was proprietary to PSC and I was subject to a lawsuit if I published it.

Doing a Pivot

That will set you back a bit. And it did.

But I wasn’t going to let ten years of work go to waste. I sincerely wanted to honor John’s expertise and proprietary knowledge. After all, as I said in my first book, my color analysis with John changed my life. So I started doing my own research, extracting everything in the course that was specific to PSC’s process, and noting everything else that was not, and therefore exempt from legal hassles.

That was the genesis of my new course, Choose Color First.

My approach was to explain the color analysis process for laypersons starting with something that art students learn in Art 101: color theory. Learning about this, which was something John and I never discussed, made me fall in love with color even more. There’s nothing I value like understanding the “why” of a subject. It really makes the material “stick”.

My new objective became to simply empower my viewers with the tools to help them recognize and then to use their best colors successfully. That was how the individual sections of this course evolved.

So let’s look at the very first one.

Why Color Matters

If you have been influenced by social media lately you’d think we live in a very sad world, and you can certainly find multiple examples to support that belief. If for no other reason, it’s in our own best interest to do whatever we can to create and project some joy. And one of the simplest and  most joyful things we can do is to wear our best colors.

Research indicates that the effect of wearing “pretty” (a subjective term, but here we can substitute “your best”) colors triggers your brain and entire nervous system to generate and release “happy” hormones. So, in this way color becomes therapeutic. That elevated effect can last throughout the entire day. And, over time, the habit of wearing colorful clothing appears to have a more cumulative and sustained effect.

Another benefit is that showing up colorfully generates positive social feedback. What that means is that when you wear colorful clothing that matches your color markers and personality, it elevate the mood of those you encounter. They are uplifted and you can sense it. That improves your own mood and self-confidence. It just creates a terrific positive feedback loop.

So, the first section of the course offers a challenge to embrace the idea of wearing color, to include but not lean too heavily into neutrals, to play with color and have fun in the process.

Here is the link to Choose Color First. If you want to save more than $55 on the course, you have five more days to do that before it reverts to the original cost. And Teachable offers a 7-day moneyback guarantee.

Tomorrow I’ll go into some detail about the next sections of the course that address the “how” of creating a color palette.

Take excellent care,

Andrea

Andrea’s books and new video series:

The post The Difficult Story Behind Choose Color First appeared first on Shopping for the Real You.

For the past several years we’ve been seeing a lot of Classic style in fashion. It has been an emphasis on “old money” looks and combinations that are mostly neutral colors and that have tailored elements. It’s not that those are going out of fashion anytime soon. If you have a lot of Classic in your style blend they likely make up the bulk of your wardrobe.

But for everyone who has felt that the romance of dressing up had died, take heart. Softer elements are back. And even those without a lot of Romantic, Youthful or Angelic in their personal style (that would be me…) will have fun looking at these for inspiration.

Making a Summer Staple Softer

This time of year in the Northern Hemisphere we’re fast approaching summer. That means less dense, softer textures and thinner fabrics in general. So you’ll be seeing a lot of chiffon, lace, and of course, linen. There’s certainly everything and anything to choose from in linen now. But to consider a more feminine approach to it, look at matched sets or atypical construction. If you find something you like in a color you get extra points! But simply constructed neutral pieces lend themselves so nicely to flirty accessories. Here are a few images, all of the items and outfits on this post are linked.

This first one could suit someone with a bit of Dramatic essence or High Spirited as well. But any item that exposes the shoulder line gives it some Romantic.

Macy’s INC brown linen set $135

This has a more Natural feeling to it but what makes it more feminine is the fitted top that adds emphasis to the waist.

Macy’s INC striped set $159

This one is advertised as cotton and linen, but of course on Amazon you never know. Regardless, it has a lot going for it. The neckline is Romantic, the asymmetry adds a Natural element and the harem-type balloon bottoms can be Romantic, High Spirited or a touch Natural, depending on color and how it is styled.

Balloon pants set

Long line vests with an indentation at the waist are a big trend this year. They elevate a basic linen shorts set making it great for resort wear, luncheon, or outdoor special occasion.

Nordstrom Open Edit Indigo vest set – vest $69.50; shorts $59.50 (shorts are here.)

This one is more Natural and Classic. So if you want to embrace the Romantic idea but not the aesthetic, opt for something in red.

Macy’s washed linen set. The shell top is here – $59.95

They also have a long line version of the shell. $89.95

Quince has both a shorter version and this longline vest in multiple colors, neutrals, and one striped.

Here’s the shorter version.

Quince short vest in French blue – in seven colors $42 The pants are here. A longer tailored version of the pants are here at $52 

For a feminine look, wear any of these with flat or kitten heeled sandals or slides. Higher pumps are more Dramatic. They can work if your feet won’t complain. (Mine would complain.) The thicker the sole and wider the straps, the more Natural they convey.

Sam Edelman mules $90.99

Sam Edelman flat sandals on Amazon $100

Kate Spade outlet yellow strappy kitten heel slides $125

Dolce Vida Suede kitten heeled sandals $115 on Amazon

Jack Rogers Leather Slides on Amazon $138

Hole-y fabrics

Then there are what I refer to as the peekaboo textiles. Those include lace, eyelet, and open weaves like macrame. They will reveal a bit or a lot, depending on how comfortable you feel exposing skin.

Because the underlying textile of eyelet is usually a stiffer cotton and the pattern of the spaces is typically round it is considered a Youthful material. But it’s such a fresh and playful look that I would give almost anyone a pass to wear it, especially if it is in harmony their coloring. The bargain ones likely are cotton blend, the higher end ones are usually all cotton. I tried to post those that were all or mostly cotton. Let’s look at some eyelet blouses and tops. There are a LOT of them this year.

This one has some sophistication meaning that it could work for someone with some Natural and/or Classic style too.

Eyelet trim blouse Amazon $29.98

A top that can be tied at the waist, and most button downs can be converted to do this, is always going to add a touch of Romantic. This one also comes in rose, tan, blue, apricot, lavender, black and white.

Green eyelet blouse – Etsy, $28.00

The fuller sleeves, covered buttons, and corset bodice construction give this both a Youthful and Romantic feeling.

Short sleeved fitted blouse, Amazon $29.99

This is a good example of how Natural (square shapes) can express some of the Youthful and Romantic essence.

White House Black Market eyelet blouse $110

This green eyelet top could be a really nice beach or poolside cover up.

Amazon eyelet coverup $35.98

Pretty Garden is a site on Amazon that gets a lot of positive reviews. The roundness of the large puffy sleeves on this blouse add to its Youthful essence. I could see this dressed up a bit with white bootcut jeans or trousers.

Amazon pretty Garden eyelet blouse $34.99

Although mostly Youthful and slightly Classic, there’s a lot of elegance in the construction and textile, and it’s just so pretty.

This one is just so pretty Lee’s jeans $79.99

This one also has a sweet and demure feeling but the ruffled cuffs give it a bit more Romantic.

Etsy ruffled collar and cuff blouse $32.09

These could call for flatter shoes like ballet flats, Mary Janes, or a strappy fisherman type shoe.

Sam Edelman woven flat $149.99

These come in four other neutrals plus a gold one that could work with the lace items below.

Sam Edelman bow tied woven flats $140

A lighter colored fisherman sandal also works nicely and Rothys also get great reviews for comfort. They also come in black, tan and red.

Rothy’s Ivory Fisherman sandals $119.00

The allure of Lace

The delicacy of lace suggests the Angelic essence, which is why wedding dresses often have some form of lace in the construction. But it also carries Romantic connotations because it does reveal what is underneath. Brides want to look Romantic and/or Angelic, and the vision of a woman floating down the aisle with a train of lace in her wake is both.

This year we’re seeing a lot of the of music festival-type garments. Of course, you’ll find them super cheap and in abundance made from polyester on fast fashion sites like Shein and Temu as well as Amazon. I just can’t go there. It takes a little digging to  find something that could have some longevity and I tried to find those that were not poly or at least not heavily synthetic.

This one has some lovely intricate detail. It’s described as gray but actually leans more blue.

Etsy lace blouse $54.40

The bell sleeves on this give it a bit of Angelic but the other elements are very Youthful.

Etsy cotton cuffed lace blouse $61.42

This one has that Coachella look, which also often leans toward Natural. The ripped jeans are the clue.

Etsy cotton lilac lace trimmed blouse $54.40

Any of those tops could work best with the woven flats, or flat strappy sandals.

Free people Corsica sandals $44.10 on sale

Kate Spade blue lizard sandals $110.60

And these give a more boho flavor, a kind of Roman sandal look.

Naturalizer Brandy sandals 99.95

This one has a very delicate feeling that is Angelic and Youthful, not so much Romantic. It is available in a dizzying amount of colors and patterns and they say it’s cotton and linen. And it’s a more covered up look.

Akivide blouse on Amazon $25.99

And for more coverage this could be terrific dressed up or down with straight leg jeans, capris, or with white, black or other colored trousers.

Lace trimmed sleeveless blouse Amazon $87.70

As for the shoes to go with the more modest tops, the popular kitten heeled slingbacks or kitten heeled slides would be a nice Romantic addition.

Vivaia gets a lot of positive reviews even though they are made from recycled plastic. The upside is they are washable, fashionable, comfortable, and last forever. These rose-y pink ones could be the one Romantic element in the outfit. They also come in black and limited sizes in their “golden almond”.

Vivaia bowed kitten keel slides $90

I’ve tried the Paravanos and they are really well made, just a little slim through the toe box for my foot. This yellow is delightful and they also come in burgundy, tan, white, black and leopard print. They are mostly Classic and Youthful.

Paravano sling back low heels $125.80

Quince has these buttery soft leather ones. This kind of squishy leather gives a more Romantic vibe than straight, flat straps. They also come in cognac and almond, an off-white.

Quince black slides $82.00

I don’t know why – and still can’t figure out who comes up with this every few years – but for the truly brave or the VERY young – there is a trend this summer of very sheer transparent textiles for skirts. It is not the same as the underwear-type of slip skirts we’ve seen recently. I’m talking about actual see-through fabrics. Maybe it could work at the beach. Maybe. Or if you live in LA and want to get noticed among the sea of fit and beautiful people.

I appreciate the artistic quality, but personally consider it a design cop-out insead of creating a look that women would actually wear and that would be flattering.

Photo courtesy of RUUSH

Photo courtesy of Vogue/gorunway.com

Slinky

But this is a trend I can get behind. OK, maybe not the lace trimmed satin knee length skirts. I am old enough to consider that as underwear – a slip – and was taught not to wear your underwear in public.  Now, I’ve seen some women in Italy and France wearing gorgeous lacey bras that peek out from loosely unbuttoned blouse. (And those aren’t only worn by young women!) But that’s a different thing from wearing a satin-like skirt with lace trim, at least to my mind. Call me a prude or a fogey, I don’t mind. I just turned 78 and I’ve earned my opinion.

So, the new trend, if you can call it new, is head-to-toe satin. In France, and elsewhere, but particularly in France, a satin slip dress is considered a staple. To make it something that is more accessible to more body shapes and ages, we’re now seeing satin in gorgeous slinky wide-leg pants. It has a very 1940’s feeling that is lovely and feminine.

On this one, my personal opinion is that almost any style type, from Dramatic to Angelic, can wear it, depending on the color and the style, and how it is styled. Here too, the bargain ones will be polyester (regardless of how they are listed on Amazon), and the higher end one will be in mulberry silk. Look for a more tailored version if you want to avoid them looking like pajama bottoms.

Amazon poly pleated pants $39.99 (also in beige, khaki, and black)

These are acetate. Amazon has several in this shade, but this one has nice tailoring.

Amazon acetate satin-y pants $54.94

Now we move into the actually silk ones. This comes in 8 colors.

J. Crew satin pants $158

You can never go wrong with Quince for quality fabrics (this is mulberry silk) and construction.

Quince mulberry silk pants $90, comes in multiple neutrals also

Brocade will elevate this to another level for dressier occasions.

Amazon mulberry brocade pants $134

One way to wear these is to pair them with a halter top in the same color. But you can’t go wrong with many types of tops: crew neck sweaters, sleeveless tanks, chiffon blouses, off-shoulder tops, even cotton button downs. Just wear the button downs tucked in or with a half-tuck.

As for footwear, flat strappy sandals or ballet flats, but keep the ballet flats a bit more elegant, not too Youthful or cutesy.

Talbot’s silver strappy sandals 99.50

Schutz Elsha sandals $98.00

Cole Haan suede flats $135

Paravano bowed flats $128

Satin camisoles can be lovely for date night or any special occasion. Wear them solo in hot weather and peaking out from a blazer, wrap or light jacket in A/C spaces.

Lace trimmed satin cami Amazon $140

LilySilk artichoke silk cami on Amazon $129

Mauve mulbery silk draped tank Amazon $51.99

For the well-endowed, this one has a built-in bra.

White mulberry silk cami with bra Amazon $73.89

Dark blue trimmed satin camisole Amazon $67.99  – comes in 8 colors

Quince silk polka dot tank $49.90 – also in several neutrals and marigold

LilySilk satin camisole on Amazon $49.99 comes in

So, Make it “Dress-y”

Lastly, it wouldn’t be a Romantic summer if it didn’t include dresses. The romance is in the details: sashed and bows waists, fitted bodices, fine pleats, larger florals. The ones with ruffles, tiers, and smocking give a more Youthful vibe.  These are all primarily cotton, linen or rayon and a few silk. Each of these works with different shoes styles. But as they are all full-body pix, take your cues from how they are styled here.

Quince tencel fit and flare midi dress $74 Comes in several neutrals as well

Quince smocked and tiered pale lilac dress $74 Eleven colors and prints

If you have a dressier occasion, the halter slip dress from Quince is fabulous.

Quince halter top dress $150

Gingham is a Youthful print and a softened corset-like bodice is very feminine, it also comes in pink and red

Quince corset dress $92

Their more Classic and Natural version has a simple squared neckline.

Fit and Flare European linen midi dress $84 – comes in 3 colors, three of them gingham

This one is more forgiving for broader waistlines as the ties are adjustable and it conceals a lot. It has a Classic quality as well.

Utcoco cotton striped and belted dress – Amazon $30.99 Comes in seven colors

Roosier belted and tiered floral dress on Amazon $44.99 Eleven patterns and colors

When Macy’s has a sale you have to jump on it to get your size, but this is lovely.

Halter top midi dress Macy’s $53.70 on sale

This is a strapless variation on a similar theme.

Oasis floral twill  strapless floral midi Macy’s $121.50

For those of my vintage, I had to include this lovely one because it’s a rare day when you see one of us ol’ white hairs in fashion! Also, it’s lovely and she’s owning it! Yeah, it might be polyester, but I give Macy’s a pass for showing us a mature model.

Pink floral V-neck bell sleeved dress – final sale $23.83

And this one has it all going on! The eyelet, the fit and flare, the keyhole, and the corseted fitted bodice. It has a very 40’s feeling to it. Note the ankle strap heels as they are a perfect match for this type of dress.

Lilac eyelet midi dress $101.40, also comes in white.

So, as you can see there’s a lot to choose from. If you don’t identify with any of these “girly” or Romantic design elements, but still find some of them appealing, consider how you might adapt it to your own wardrobe. Could you add a belt to a loose dress you already own to simply emphasize your shape? Would you wear one of the plain camisoles in a pretty color instead of one that was satin or lace trimmed. Might you wear a similar style but in a pattern or print that is more in keeping with your personal style.

And if you wonder why I keep showing things from Amazon, for whom I’m an affiliate, it’s because their return policy is easy. (Also, you get to try on a lot of stuff without having to go to the mall…) Of course, I still haunt my local boutiques, and like to support local businesses, but I enjoy offering some easily accessible items that might inspire your style journey.

By the way, I mentioned last month that I would be showing you what colors I’m wearing these days and I’m going to post that soon, before the color course launches at the end of the month! Stay tuned! (I’m SO excited!!)

Andrea’s books and new video series:

The post The Shift From Classic to Softer Fashion appeared first on Shopping for the Real You.

For the past several years we’ve been seeing a lot of Classic style in fashion. It has been an emphasis on “old money” looks and combinations that are mostly neutral colors and that have tailored elements. It’s not that those are going out of fashion anytime soon. If you have a lot of Classic in your style blend they likely make up the bulk of your wardrobe.

But for everyone who has felt that the romance of dressing up had died, take heart. Feminine elements are back. And even those without a lot of Romantic, Youthful or Angelic in their personal style (that would be me…) will have fun looking at these for inspiration.

Making a Summer Staple Softer

This time of year in the Northern Hemisphere we’re fast approaching summer. That means less dense, softer textures and thinner fabrics in general. So you’ll be seeing a lot of chiffon, lace, and of course, linen. There’s certainly everything and anything to choose from in linen now. But to consider a more feminine approach to it, look at matched sets or atypical construction. If you find something you like in a color you get extra points! But simply constructed neutral pieces lend themselves so nicely to flirty accessories. Here are a few images, all of the items and outfits on this post are linked.

This first one could suit someone with a bit of Dramatic essence or High Spirited as well. But any item that exposes the shoulder line gives it some Romantic.

Macy’s INC brown linen set $135

This has a more Natural feeling to it but what makes it more feminine is the fitted top that adds emphasis to the waist.

Macy’s INC striped set $159

This one is advertised as cotton and linen, but of course on Amazon you never know. Regardless, it has a lot going for it. The neckline is Romantic, the asymmetry adds a Natural element and the harem-type balloon bottoms can be Romantic, High Spirited or a touch Natural, depending on color and how it is styled.

Balloon pants set

Long line vests with an indentation at the waist are a big trend this year. They elevate a basic linen shorts set making it great for resort wear, luncheon, or outdoor special occasion.

Nordstrom Open Edit Indigo vest set – vest $69.50; shorts $59.50 (shorts are here.)

This one is more Natural and Classic. So if you want to embrace the Romantic idea but not the aesthetic, opt for something in red.

Macy’s washed linen set. The shell top is here – $59.95

They also have a long line version of the shell. $89.95

Quince has both a shorter version and this longline vest in multiple colors, neutrals, and one striped.

Here’s the shorter version.

Quince short vest in French blue – in seven colors $42 The pants are here. A longer tailored version of the pants are here at $52 

For a feminine look, wear any of these with flat or kitten heeled sandals or slides. Higher pumps are more Dramatic. They can work if your feet won’t complain. (Mine would complain.) The thicker the sole and wider the straps, the more Natural they convey.

Sam Edelman mules $90.99

Sam Edelman flat sandals on Amazon $100

Kte Spade outlet yellow strappy kitten heel slides $125

Dolce Vida Suede kitten heeled sandals $115 on Amazon

Jack Rogers Leather Slides on Amazon $138

Hole-y fabrics

Then there are what I refer to as the peekaboo textiles. Those include lace, eyelet, and open weaves like macrame. They will reveal a bit or a lot, depending on how comfortable you feel exposing skin.

Because the underlying textile of eyelet is usually a stiffer cotton and the pattern of the spaces is typically round it is considered a Youthful material. But it’s such a fresh and playful look that I would give almost anyone a pass to wear it, especially if it is in harmony their coloring. The bargain ones likely are cotton blend, the higher end ones are usually all cotton. I tried to post those that were all or mostly cotton. Let’s look at some eyelet blouses and tops. There are a LOT of them this year.

This one has some sophistication meaning that it could work for someone with some Natural and/or Classic style too.

Eyelet trim blouse Amazon $29.98

A top that can be tied at the waist, and most button downs can be converted to do this, is always going to add a touch of Romantic. This one also comes in rose, tan, blue, apricot, lavender, black and white.

Green eyelet blouse – Etsy, $28.00

The fuller sleeves, covered buttons, and corset bodice construction give this both a Youthful and Romantic feeling.

Short sleeved fitted blouse, Amazon $29.99

This is a good example of how Natural (square shapes) can express some of the Youthful and Romantic essence.

Whit House Black Market eyelet blouse $110

This green eyelet top could be a really nice beach or poolside cover up.

Amazon eyelet coverup $35.98

Pretty Garden is a site on Amazon that gets a lot of positive reviews. The roundness of the large puffy sleeves on this blouse add to its Youthful essence. I could see this dressed up a bit with white bootcut jeans or trousers.

Amazon pretty Garden eyelet blouse $34.99

Although mostly Youthful and slightly Classic, there’s a lot of elegance in the construction and textile, and it’s just so pretty.

This one is just so pretty Lee’s jeans $79.99

This one also has a sweet and demure feeling but the ruffled cuffs give it a bit more Romantic.

Etsy ruffled collar and cuff blouse $32.09

These could call for flatter shoes like ballet flats, Mary Janes, or a strappy fisherman type shoe.

Sam Edelman woven flat $149.99

These come in four other neutrals plus a gold one that could work with the lace items below.

Sam Edelman bow tied woven flats $140

A lighter colored fisherman sandal also works nicely and Rothys also get praise for comfort. They also come in black, tan and red.

Rothy’s Ivory Fisherman sandals $119.00

The allure of Lace

The delicacy of lace suggests the Angelic essence, which is why wedding dresses often have some form of lace in the construction. But it also carries Romantic connotations because it does reveal what is underneath. Brides want to look Romantic and/or Angelic, and the vision of a woman floating down the aisle with a train of lace in her wake is both.

This year we’re seeing a lot of the of music festival-type garments. Of course, you’ll find them super cheap and in abundance made from polyester on fast fashion sites like Shein and Temu as well as Amazon. I just can’t go there. It takes a little digging to  find something that could have some longevity and I tried to find those that were not poly or at least not heavily synthetic.

This one has some lovely intricate detail. It’s described as gray but actually leans more blue.

Etsy lace blouse $54.40

The bell sleeves on this give it a bit of Angelic but the other elements are very Youthful.

Etsy cotton cuffed lace blouse $61.42

This one has that Coachella look, which also often leans toward Natural. The ripped jeans are the clue.

Etsy cotton lilac lace trimmed blouse $54.40

Any of those tops could work best with the woven flats, or flat strappy sandals.

Free people Corsica sandals $44.10 on sale

Kate Spade blue lizard sandals $110.60

And for a bit more of a Grecian look, these give a more boho flavor.

Naturalizer Brandy sandals 99.95

This one has a very delicate feeling that is Angelic and Youthful, not so much Romantic. It is available in a dizzying amount of colors and patterns and they say it’s cotton and linen. And it’s a more covered up look.

Akivide blouse on Amazon $25.99

And for more coverage this could be terrific dressed up or down with straight leg jeans, capris, or with white, black or other colored trousers.

Lace trimmed sleeveless blouse Amazon $87.70

As for the shoes to go with the more modest tops, the popular kitten heeled slingbacks or kitten heeled slides would be a nice Romantic addition.

Vivaia gets a lot of positive reviews even though they are made from recycled plastic. The upside is they are washable, fashionable, comfortable, and last forever. These rose-y pink ones could be the one Romantic element in the outfit. They also come in black and limited sizes in their “golden almond”.

Vivaia bowed kitten keel slides $90

I’ve tried the Paravanos and they are really well made, just a little slim through the toe box for my foot. This yellow is delightful and they also come in burgundy, tan, white, black and leopard print. They are mostly Classic and Youthful.

Paravano sling back low heels $125.80

Quince has these buttery soft leather ones. This kind of squishy leather gives a more Romantic vibe than straight, flat straps. They also come in cognac and almond, an off-white.

Quince black slides $82.00

I don’t know why – and still can’t figure out who comes up with this every few years – but for the truly brave or the VERY young – there is a trend this summer of very sheer transparent textiles for skirts. It is not the same as the underwear-type of slip skirts we’ve seen recently. I’m talking about actual see-through fabrics. Maybe it could work at the beach. Maybe. Or if you live in LA and want to get noticed among the sea of fit and beautiful people.

I appreciate the artistic quality, but personally consider it a design cop-out insead of creating a look that women would actually wear and that would be flattering.

Photo courtesy of RUUSH

Photo courtesy of Vogue/gorunway.com

Slinky

But this is a trend I can get behind. OK, maybe not the lace trimmed satin knee length skirts. I am old enough to consider that as underwear – a slip – and was taught not to wear your underwear in public.  Now, I’ve seen some women in Italy and France wearing gorgeous lacey bras that peek out from loosely unbuttoned blouse. (And those aren’t only worn by young women!) But that’s a different thing from wearing a satin-like skirt with lace trim, at least to my mind. Call me a prude or a fogey, I don’t mind. I just turned 78 and I’ve earned my opinion.

So, the new trend, if you can call it new, is head-to-toe satin. In France, and elsewhere, but particularly in France, a satin slip dress is considered a staple. To make it something that is more accessible to more body shapes and ages, we’re now seeing satin in gorgeous slinky wide-leg pants. It has a very 1940’s feeling that is lovely and feminine.

On this one, my personal opinion is that almost any style type, from Dramatic to Angelic, can wear it, depending on the color and the style, and how it is styled. Here too, the bargain ones will be polyester (regardless of how they are listed on Amazon), and the higher end one will be in mulberry silk. Look for a more tailored version if you want to avoid them looking like pajama bottoms.

Amazon poly pleated pants $39.99 (also in beige, khaki, and black)

These are acetate. Amazon has several in this shade, but this one has nice tailoring.

Amazon acetate satin-y pants $54.94

Now we move into the actually silk ones. This comes in 8 colors.

J. Crew satin pants $158

You can never go wrong with Quince for quality fabrics (this is mulberry silk) and construction.

Quince mulberry silk pants $90, comes in multiple neutrals also

Brocade will elevate this to another level for dressier occasions.

Amazon mulberry brocade pants $134

One way to wear these is to pair them with a halter top in the same color. But you can’t go wrong with many types of tops: crew neck sweaters, sleeveless tanks, chiffon blouses, off-shoulder tops, even cotton button downs. Just wear the button downs tucked in or with a half-tuck.

As for footwear, flat strappy sandals or ballet flats, but keep the ballet flats a bit more elegant, not too Youthful or cutesy.

Talbot’s silver strappy sandals 99.50

Schutz Elsha sandals $98.00

Cole Haan suede flats $135

Paravano bowed flats $128

Satin camisoles can be lovely for date night or any special occasion. Wear them solo in hot weather and peaking out from a blazer, wrap or light jacket in A/C spaces.

Lace trimmed satin cami Amazon $140

LilySilk artichoke silk cami on Amazon $129

Mauve mulbery silk draped tank Amazon $51.99

For the well-endowed, this one has a built-in bra.

White mulberry silk cami with bra Amazon $73.89

Dark blue trimmed satin camisole Amazon $67.99  – comes in 8 colors

Quince silk polka dot tank $49.90 – also in several neutrals and marigold

LilySilk satin camisole on Amazon $49.99 comes in

So, Make it “Dress-y”

Lastly, it wouldn’t be a Romantic summer if it didn’t include dresses. The romance is in the details: sashed and bows waists, fitted bodices, fine pleats, larger florals. The ones with ruffles, tiers, and smocking give a more Youthful vibe.  These are all primarily cotton, linen or rayon and a few silk. Each of these works with different shoes styles. But as they are all full-body pix, take your cues from how they are styled here.

Quince tencel fit and flare midi dress $74 Comes in several neutrals as well

Quince smocked and tiered pale lilac dress $74 Eleven colors and prints

If you have a dressier occasion, the halter slip dress from Quince is fabulous.

Quince halter top dress $150

Gingham is a Youthful print and a softened corset-like bodice is very feminine, it also comes in pink and red

Quince corset dress $92

Their more Classic and Natural version has a simple squared neckline.

Fit and Flare European linen midi dress $84 – comes in 3 colors, three of them gingham

This one is more forgiving for broader waistlines as the ties are adjustable and it conceals a lot. It has a Classic quality as well.

Utcoco cotton striped and belted dress – Amazon $30.99 Comes in seven colors

Roosier belted and tiered floral dress on Amazon $44.99 Eleven patterns and colors

When Macy’s has a sale you have to jump on it to get your size, but this is lovely.

Halter top midi dress Macy’s $53.70 on sale

This is a strapless variation on a similar theme.

Oasis floral twill  strapless floral midi Macy’s $121.50

For those of my vintage, I had to include this lovely one because it’s a rare day when you see one of us ol’ white hairs in fashion! Also, it’s lovely and she’s owning it! Yeah, it might be polyester, but I give Macy’s a pass for showing us a mature model.

Pink floral V-neck bell sleeved dress – final sale $23.83

And this one has it all going on! The eyelet, the fit and flare, the keyhole, and the corseted fitted bodice. It has a very 40’s feeling to it. Note the ankle strap heels as they are a perfect match for this type of dress.

Lilac eyelet midi dress $101.40, also comes in white.

So, as you can see there’s a lot to choose from. If you don’t identify with any of these “girly” or Romantic design elements, but still find some of them appealing, consider how you might adapt it to your own wardrobe. Could you add a belt to a loose dress you already own to simply emphasize your shape? Would you wear one of the plain camisoles in a pretty color instead of one that was satin or lace trimmed. Might you wear a similar style but in a pattern or print that is more in keeping with your personal style.

And if you wonder why I keep showing things from Amazon, for whom I’m an affiliate, it’s because their return policy is easy. (Also, you get to try on a lot of stuff without having to go to the mall…) Of course, I still haunt my local boutiques, and like to support local businesses, but I enjoy offering some easily accessible items that might inspire your style journey.

By the way, I mentioned last month that I would be showing you what colors I’m wearing these days and I’m going to post that soon, before the color course launches at the end of the month! Stay tuned! (I’m SO excited!!)

Andrea’s books and new video series:

The post The Shift From Classic to More Feminine Fashion appeared first on Shopping for the Real You.

Big news! I have FINALLY finished my color course! This week I’m recording the voiceover and will then upload it to my Teachable platform. I’ll let you know immediately when it’s available, and as always, I’ll be sending you a code for a HUGE discount as one of my loyal readers.

Thinking about color so deeply for so many years had a major impact on my life. I’ve become even more selective about how I use it in my wardrobe. I even found myself noticing and evaluating everything in my home from the perspective of color.

One of my favorite memes lately reads: “Set your home to sanctuary”. A sanctuary is a place of peace, and in my home that means eliminating clutter and messiness. So, I am not sentimental about “stuff”. If something isn’t useful or doesn’t bring me joy, out it goes. I simply need to see beauty and harmony wherever I look, and color is a major part of beauty and harmony. It’s a major factor in how I make my home feel like a sanctuary.

Beauty and Harmony

It’s also what I advise my clients to pay attention to when putting together an outfit. You want the viewer (and that means you, especially) to see harmony and beauty in all parts of your outfit. Diana Vreeland, the legendary editor of Bazaar magazine, said: “the eye has to travel”. (There is a wonderful movie of that title about Vreeland.)

So, when it comes to creating an outfit, do let the eye travel. Create a look that has interest in all the parts. But always have the focus come back to your face, or at least to your “portrait”, the area from above the top of the bust to the face.

One of the biggest color mistakes I see clients make is to wear a neutral shade near their face and then add something colorful below the waist. Neutral outfits with a pop of color can, of course, work beautifully. But when that color becomes primary focus and is away from the face, the person in the clothes recedes and the color becomes the statement. That’s not the most intelligent use of color. It’s also a way of hiding while pretending to be bold. Make yourself the portrait.

Color to Become Visible

Jess Alberle, host The Wardrobe Within

But I get that. For many people, especially as we age, wearing color can be a challenge. But it can also be a revelation. It challenges you to become more visible and offers you the ability to be more visible. (This is a topic I speak about at length in my upcoming interview on Jess Alberle’s The Wardrobe Within podcast. Stay tuned!)

This is one of the main reasons I created my color course. I wanted to encourage the habit of embracing color as a part of life. The course includes very practical information and tools that will help you understand how to use your color palette successfully. If you have already had your colors professionally analyzed it will put it all in perspective. If you have never had your colors analyzed it will help you understand where to start. You will come away with a new perspective about your own palette and will start to notice the nuances and variations in colors more acutely.

(If you’re interested in having a color analysis drop me a line and I will suggest several color analysts whose work I trust.)

Playing With Color in Your Home

One of my favorite new “toys” is my color wheel.  It’s a disc with an interactive wheel on each side that demonstrates the principles of how colors are combined. It is a handy reference for what art students learn in Art 101. But I find it endlessly fascinating and delightful to play with. It shows you how the unique shades in your personal palette might be created. It also shows you the complementary colors –  and their variations – to the basic hues: red, yellow, blue, green, purple and orange. It’s a very inexpensive and fun tool that can help you fine tune your awareness in recognizing color and differences of their shades.

Jim King Color Wheel

The other thing I’ve noticed about color in my home is that my personal style has a big impact on what I keep and what I edit. And yet, even with everything I thought I knew about color I fell into the trap of thinking that my home would look more sophisticated if the colors in my kitchen were consistent.

So, when it came time to replace some cracked wooden stirring spoons I searched for a set of colorful silicone spatulas instead. The set that appealed to me came in shades of navy blue, purple, orange, red, aqua, and black. And there was also one that had each spatula in a different color.

Initially I looked for a darker color that was in my  palette thinking it would give my kitchen a classy, Classic look. But Classic is only 25% of my total style blend. So instead, I looked around the kitchen and noticed what brought me joy.

What brought me joy was the colors in my flower vases, the artwork on my walls, and the patterns on the kitchen chairs. They each reflected my color palette as well as the High Spirited qualities of my style, which is 35% of my essence blend. (How our environment reflects our personal style is what my course Discovering Your Inner Style is all about.)

So I opted for this multi color set.  And it actually is the most practical one as now I know which type of spatula to reach for based on its color without having to take each one out of the container where I stash them.

UTaste High Heat Resistant Silicone Spatula Set

So those are ways I’m incorporating color into my life. In my next post I’ll write about what, how, and where we’re seeing color in fashion this year. It’s a wonderful change from the “uniform” we’ve been seeing for the past several years: dark jeans, neutral T-tops, sweaters, and sneakers. (Amusingly, that’s actually my style facet uniform, but I’ll show how I bring in color to give it an update.)

[Full disclosure: these links are from Amazon, so if you purchase anything I might receive a small commission with absolutely no additional cost to you.]

Andrea’s books and new video series:

The post Creating a Colorful wardrobe…and a Colorful Life appeared first on Shopping for the Real You.

Rose Marie Swift

About 13 years ago I saw an interview with a makeup artist named Rose Marie Swift, a makeup artist who worked with most of the names in the fashion industry. She was compelling and beautiful, but her story was what grabbed me.

In her late 30’s Rose Marie began to experience insomnia, panic attacks, and immune problems. A series of extensive medical tests revealed that she had high levels of heavy metals – lead, mercury, aluminum, cadmium, barium – and pesticides in her body.

(The reason this resonates with me because I’m currently going through a heavy metal detox – and it’s not fun.)

The lab technician who analyzed her results asked if she worked in the cosmetic industry. The fact that he so quickly identified the source of her problems was shocking and revealing. Her career was literally killing her.

Then and there she did a dramatic pivot. She began researching product ingredients extensively, and ultimately creating the line of skin care and beauty products that she felt confident to share and that would carry her insignia, RMS Beauty.

Because of this I was willing to give Rose Marie’s line a try. I had already been using some of her makeup for a few years and loved it. And they have a very generous return policy – 30 days. I’ll do a video sometime soon, but here are the products I love, use regularly, and recommend without hesitation.

Prevention is better than cure

In the old days we slathered baby oil on our faces and bodies and offered ourselves to the sun god, never considering the long-term damage that might accrue. In my case, dark spots and hyperpigmentation started appearing in my 40’s. I had them removed via liquid nitrogen several times over the years, but as my dermatologist explained, they will come back. And they have.

My dermatologist explained that those dark spots are from sun exposure on specific areas of my face while driving in my car! So now, even when I’m not lying around in the sun, I wear some form of sunscreen. There’s some very recent controversy about the toxicity of zinc as a physical sunblock, and zinc is the only one I have felt confident about using. So I read the research and to my layperson’s eye it doesn’t sound very conclusive. Of course, do your own research and decide.

RMS SunCoverup Super Tint Broad Spectrum SPF 50 Sunscreen

My favorite sunscreen from Rose Marie is her SunCoverup Super Tint Broad Spectrum SPF 50 Sunscreen. This is not only a tinted sunscreen. It has a lot of substance and serves beautifully as a base, if that’s what you’re looking for. It leaves your skin dewy-looking and stays all day.

Uncover cream concealer

But some days I just want to even out my skin, add a bit of color and leave it at that. Since I’m not a fan of lasers or other invasive procedures, my main “treatment” is to just cover the spots. The #1 absolute best, most amazing cover-up I’ve ever used is Rose Marie’s “Uncover” concealer cream. It stays on. It completely covers discoloration and blemishes. And one little jar lasts for months and months.

ReVitalize Hydra Concealer

Alternately, when I just want to do a quick swipe at my spots to even up my skin tone I dab on a bit of this Revitalize Hydra Concealer. It is of a thinner consistency than the Uncover cream, but does a great job.  If you don’t have a lot of skin damage this one is the perfect product to blend with your skin tone and crate a nice base for the rest of your makeup.

As for blushers, they have two. One is a powdered version (Re Dimension Hydra Blush) and one is a cream (Lip2Cheek Color Cream). I haven’t yet found the right color in the cream. Maybe if I blended two they might work. But I have two of the powdered ones that I like a lot.

Hydra Blush

Lip2Cheek Color Cream

RMS Blusher Brush

Amazon Wet and Wild Contour brush

And for the Hydra Blush I bought this super cheap-o blush brush on Amazon a while ago but RMS gifted me one with a purchase during one of their promotions recently. I use each at different times. Theirs seem to give a more targeted application. The cheap one gives a more diffuse but softer look. I also got a free concealer brush that is used with the Revitalize Hydra Concealer and it works great. They have lots of brush options and from time to time one of their promotions includes some brushes.

I can’t say a lot about their eye makeup. I rarely wear any eye makeup of any kind. Even mild, “clean” products sometimes cause my eyes to water and my eyelids to swell. Yeah – I know, it sucks. So I can’t recommend something  that I personally haven’t used. But their Matte Eyelights shadows don’t seem to bother my eyes. And they create a lovely and long-lasting effect. Keep in mind that they dry very quickly once applied – but they don’t cake. They have several new colors and some palettes that contain four colors, but those are slightly metallic and I don’t like that look on my eyes.

Cashmere Matte Eyelights

But their lip products are my addiction. I love them and probably have way too many of them. And if you do have some of the Romantic style essence that I wrote about last month, you want your lips to make a statement. First, there are the lip pencils. They are a great base. I find different colors creamier than others. The Pavla Red (which is gorgeous if you want that very French “red lip”) is very creamy and goes on smoothly. I have to carefully guide the pencil to avoid letting it bleed into the lips of my aging mouth. But each pencil also has a small brush at the opposite tip to help you refine the line. The color is just yummy. The others are more discreet. My current favorite is Morning Dew.

Legendary Serum Lipstick

Then there are the lipsticks. I use both the Lip Serums and the Nudes. As the name sounds, these are actually a lot like serums. So I find that applying the pencils first and then the Serums or Nudes makes them last longer. My current favorites in the serums are Audrey and Monica. My favorites in the Nudes are Naomi and Eve. The site says all of these last from 12-24 hours, depending on which one you use I think that’s hype. I have to reapply after I eat or drink. My makeup artist contact at RMS (you can choose one for yourself – see below) says she always uses a straw to avoid this.

RMS Nudes

RMS The Minis

And then, in one of their promotions I got this three packet of minis. They have surprising staying power for what is essentially a gloss. And they add just the right amount of glow without looking ridiculous on a (nearly) 78-year-old mouth. I haven’t tried any of their lip balms but may try one after I use up more of my stash.

There’s a lot more on the site, so peruse at your leisure. I encourage you to watch some of Rose Marie’s tutorials on YouTube as they are very helpful. And she’s a real kick. But I also highly recommend that you go to the site and register to have an online zoom consultation with one of their makeup artists. There is no charge for this service. If you scroll down on the home page to “Book a Video Consultation” you can select which artist you want to work with. They will give you ideas about which products and colors will work best with your skin tones and age.

Joni – my makeup consultant at RMS Beauty

I chose Joni as my consultant because she works a lot with women over 50. She’s been very helpful and responsive to all my inquiries. Also, she alerts me to sales and freebies coming up. And she gave me a 20% coupon code good for all my orders!

A lot of beauty brands these days carry the “clean” label. So I did what I encourage you to do. I looked up RMS Beauty products on the Environmental Working Group’s Skin Deep data base. I found that pretty much all the items from her brand that I use are, in fact, very safe and score low in allergens, etc.  Also, only you can know how sensitive your skin is and what you might be allergic to. Even “natural” ingredients can be allergens for some people.

So let me know if you try any of these products. I’d love to hear what anyone else feels about these products and which ones you like or may already have tried.

[Full Disclosure – I’ve included my affiliate links so I might receive a small commission if you purchase anything. It doesn’t affect your cost at all.]

Andrea’s books and new video series:

The post My makeup/beauty obsession appeared first on Shopping for the Real You.

Yes, this is a photo of tango dancers. And you’re likely going to wonder how what I say next has anything whatsoever to do with this image. Stick with me here. I’ll tie it together quickly.

One of my obsessions – and I mean obsessions – is… recycling! The idea that we are dumping and burying tons of junk – things that won’t ever likely degrade – into the earth, spoiling our beautiful planet, drives me a little bit crazy. I’m not against consumerism, I make my living off of it after all. But I can’t stand the idea of buying something trendy, using it for a while and then tossing it.

So periodically I do a “detox” of my home to identify items that I haven’t used in a long time – similarly to what I do with my wardrobe. And then I find a new home for the things I let go. I never toss anything into the trash if I can share it somehow. Clothing that is ripped or too badly stained goes into my “Threads” bag in our local Ridwell box. (Ridwell had me at “we’ll take your plastic bags”. Check them out here. )

Also, in our town we have a website called Trash Nothing. You can post what you want to give away or request what you’re looking for. I just gave away six placements, several planters, a hot wax hand soaking spa, and some rubber balls. They now have happy new owners. And our local humane society has THE best resale shop which is where I take loved clothes to be re-used.

The “Romantic” in me…

But it’s what I didn’t give away that was very revealing. And those items are what inspired this post: delicate lace embroidered napkins and placemats inherited from my husband’s mother, floral embroidered tea towels for the guest bathroom, an embroidered sheer silk table mat (not exactly even a placemat) with matching napkins, linen embroidered tea napkins and their matching place mats.

Why did I save those things? I rarely use them. My tableware is simple and unadorned and my daily use table napkins are thick cotton and from India. So, what about those embroidered napkins, et al? Well, they all speak to my yin essences, even though I have next to none of them – just 5% each of Romantic, Youthful, and Angelic in my features, body, and expression. I’m not going to wear clothing that says, I’m a “bombshell”, “luscious”, or “sensual”. I’d feel ridiculous in them.

But we all crave beauty. It’s a human need. I choose to surround myself with things that are beautiful. And if they are expressive of just a small part of my essence combination, then I can simply enjoy them for their inherent beauty. That’s why I have flowers in a vase on my desk where I’m writing this. I always have flowers.

What Does a “Romantic” life look like?

Here are some clues about what someone with a lot of the Romantic style essence might surround themselves with in their homes. See if you relate.

Silky, satin-y textiles speak to the Romantic style essence. They are slinky and sensual, and they make your body feel slinky and sensual. For someone with a lot of this style they are a given.

When it comes to their kitchens, you wouldn’t likely find the kinds of earthy, simple, utilitarian items that I have. Their china and tableware would most likely be ornate and floral.

And their kitchens or coffee tables would have to have flowers – lots of flowers, full, abundant, fragrant flowers. (Peonies are my favorites, even though I have only that scant amount of Romantic.)

How to Identify a Romantic

So what would a Romantic type physically look like. Well, to start, I found this photo on eBay from the 1940’s of these three black beauties: Billie Holiday, Josephine Baker, and Dorothy Dandridge. Everything about each of these women conveys the essence of what Romantic style embodies: sensuality,  emphasis on curves, confident allure, and mild restraint that reveals just enough to keep you interested.

What a Romantic Would Wear

I imagine that when casting directors are seeking a woman with a lot of Romantic essence there are a few celebrities they reference. Juliette Binoche is one. Even when she is largely covered up there is something in the soft engaging quality of her eyes that is captivating. And when she isn’t completely covered up, there is the suggestion that whatever is revealed is just the preview.

Romantics easily wear the reds in their palettes, unabashedly. In fact, I would guess that they likely have lot of red items in their wardrobes. Then there are the fabrics: soft, silky textures and body-hugging textiles, draped embroidered, shawls, lower necklines, fabrics that contain and define and draw attention but don’t overly expose their bodies.

Even when doing mundane activities a Romantic type is likely to be wearing “typically” Romantic clothing. A European Romantic woman I know often shows up at our funky little organic market in full Romantic attire – heels, long coat, a soft, fluffy colorful sweater, and of course, red lipstick. She’s a sight to behold and a delight to the eyes. She’s also been my inspiration for dressing up when I go grocery shopping!

She carries herself with confidence. She understands how to be  attractive and appealing intrinsically, not so much by external measures but by knowing her worth. Her attire and her demeanor demonstrate this. She recognizes which construction details and luxe fabrics speak of elegance and beauty and she dresses to express those qualities at all the stages of her life.

What la Vida Romantic actually is

You might envision a pure Romantic type lounging on her chaise, having just come from a elegant cafe or restaurant, thoughtfully revisiting the events of the evening. Or she might be standing at the kitchen counter, placing the fresh flowers she just bought at the nearby flower stand in a large vase. Or you might see her sitting on a kitchen stool, or in a spa bathrobe, delicately ingesting small forkfuls of a pastries. And your imaginings about her might be right. Or not.

I’ve found that a lot of Romantic types, if they don’t have something grounding like Dramatic or Natural in their style essence blend, have a bit of a hard time in the world, especially now. They feel their way – emotionally – through life. They don’t like conflict. they don’t like the ugliness of hostility, anger, or war. Their emotions are not the same as the delicate idealism of an Angelic type. It’s more that they want everything in their world to just be luxurious, beautiful, and harmonious.

I don’t blame them.

How to be a Romantic…even if you aren’t

For me it’s easy. I make sure that there is something soft everywhere my eye settles in my home. That might be a cashmere throw on the sofa. It’s often a potted orchid. (This one was a gift from a year ago and has just re-bloomed.) And although I’m not likely to be going anywhere most days, I still dress thoughtfully for the day…and always add lipstick. (My next post is all about lipstick.) All those things bring a sense of harmony and beauty to my life.

So, how much Romantic do you identify with? And how do you express that in your life. I’d love to hear from you. And if you didn’t get a chance to check out my Discovering Your Inner Style Course, here’s more about it.

Talk again soon…about beauty products! Here’s to beauty in all its forms.

Andrea’s books and new video series:

The post Living la vida – Romantic! appeared first on Shopping for the Real You.

It’s the time of year when we want – and need – to add some sparkle and glow to our lives and to our wardrobe. That’s how we make the darkest season of the year (at least in the Northern Hemisphere) brighter. If you are still of the age – and have the body – to dress up like a glitter ball for New Year, no judgements!

But all of us deserve to glow and sparkle a a bit at this time of the year, regardless of age, body, or location. So here are some budget-friendly ways to do this. They might even make you want to put on your dancing shoes and kick up your heels.

Shop Your Closet

Before you break out the credit card, look close to home. Just about everyone has a “special occasion” item that we break out at this time of year and then forget about for the rest of the year. Sometimes we just forget we even have them! I encourage everyone to do a deep dive into their wardrobe and consider which, if any, of the pieces in there would serve as your statement item for a holiday item.

Now, this doesn’t have to be something with sparkle. Maybe you have a favorite lacey or ruffled top that doesn’t get much wear. That could be the main event, paired with simple bottoms, tailored pants or a midi skirt. But you could even wear it with a tailored suit. That would bring some of the “hard/soft” look I encourage for clients that emphasizes the softer item by contrast.

Or maybe you have a pair of silver or gold metallic jeans or pants. You can glow but still keep the emphasis on your upper body (I always advise to feature the “portrait” area of the torso) by matching your jewelry to the color of the pants. That creates a referral loop the brings attention back to your face.

If you have that one great LBD – or red dress – there are infinite ways to make it shine. Although we’re not seeing a lot of faux or real gemstone jewelry in fashion this year, the holidays are one excuse to add a fabulous bauble or two and it will make you stand out instead of just relying on the great dress to speak for you.

The Holiday Textiles

So now, let’s look into the idea of “glow”. We’ll start with textiles. Velvet and Satin are both glow-y holiday fabrics. Velvet’s glow is one that draws the eye in. It reflects light but then hides it. It speaks of mystery and magic. Satin has a different kind of glow. It emphasizes and reflects more sensuously, drawing attention to what is underneath. (That’s why you need good underwear or shapewear when you wear it).

These are both the “Romantic” fabrics. If you have a lot of Romantic in your personal style essence blend, they are a no-brainer. But frankly, pretty much anyone can get away with wearing something in these textiles for the holidays, unless you are 100% Natural. And even if you are, something that has simple Classic lines in one of your red shades will convey some Romantic. Also, I personally feel almost everyone can wear some Classic pieces for such occasions.

Now, if your coloring is Winter-y (Striking Contrast) or Autumn-like (Earthy Rich), the saturation level on many holiday velvet or satin items will often work for your color palette. If your skin tone and hair/eye contrast level is more delicate (Subtle Blended) or is more bright (Lively Bright or Spring) some of the lighter colored satins might be more flattering.

So consider something like a velvet blazer as a basis for your special occasion. If you don’t have one in velvet or satin, you can use your everyday blazer, but wear whatever you wear with it more celebratory such as something with lace or ruffles.

If you just have nothing that resembles these ideas, here are a few very reasonable shoppable items.

Women’s notched lapel vintage style velvet blazer, Amazon $45

Kohl’s AllegraK One Button Blazer $54

Here are a few examples of the softer blouses and tops that will make more tailored pieces festive.

LOFT Women’s floral Scalloped Lace Top $72

Vince Camuto Ruffle Detail Texture Top $89

LilySilk dark blue “Wave” Blouse $159 – (now with 20% off)

LilySilk Minimalist Shiny Silk Top on sale $153

Velvet is a winter holiday staple. Midi dresses are not only appropriate for colder weather, they are especially lovely in Velvet.

Tilda Velvet Midi dress on Boden $140

Also, the offshoot – velveteen – is a little more current and hip for more casual family holiday events.

Talbot’s Velveteen jeans $169

Boden velveteen Jeans $111.20 on sale

Satin midi skirts have been extremely popular for a few years now, but frankly they will not go out of style anytime soon. The ones with lace trim that actually look like slips or bedroom attire might have a shorter shelf life.

Quince Washable silk skirt $59.90

But if you just don’t want to hug your curves, this one would be spectacular with a lacy or ruffled blouse.

Satin A-line party skirt, Amazon Brand: Generic $61

And then, as mentioned earlier, there are silver or gold pants and skirts. Silver is a little more on trend this year. These leather-like textiles are edgy but fun, as long as you have the personality and style to carry them off. Just let them be the one flashy item and keep the rest of your outfit simple. A colorful turtleneck sweater and matching ankle boots will complete the look.

Vince Camuto Silver Faux Leather cropped wide leg pants 65.40

Amazon Brand: Generic, Silver faux leather straight pants $82.44

Glitter and Shine

If there is any style detail that in itself is the definition of bling it has to be sequins. They could be on a tank or camisole, jacket, a short or long-sleeved top or, yes, a skirt. If you still have great legs and can rock a semi-mini (just a few inches above the knee) go for it! But for the rest of us, a longer version would do just fine.

Ro&Zo Sequin Shell Tank Top $189

Donna Karen New York Sequined Top $77.40 at Macy’s

Vince Camuto sleeveless sequined top $69

Halogen sequined mini skirt $48 and T-shirt $41.40

Accessorize With Bling

OK. The obvious accessory here is jewelry. But let’s save that for a bit. It deserves a separate analysis. So, let’s just talk about adding some sparkle and shine to an outfit inexpensively.

Handbags

This is one area where you can do a “soft splurge.” That means shop in places where younger women buy their accessories because they will be a lot less expensive than designer bags. And, frankly, many of these types of bags look as pretty as the “real” deal. Since they will get rare use they won’t look worn. And honestly, nobody (at least nobody you want as a friend) is going to ask, “Who’s the designer?”

Just as with the addition of a brightly colored cotton blouse to a satin, sequined or chiffon skirt, you can add a small shiny textile bag in a pretty color to a simple outfit. A blue satin clutch worn with your favorite LBD and black satin heels would add an alluring and festive touch. If you have sapphire-colored drop earrings, that would complete this type of outfit.

Macy’s Nina Women’s Satin Clutch $75 – comes in 7 colors

EleQueen Silver Zirconia earrings

Belts

If you still want to show off your waistline, there are two ways to do this. Here’s the first. Just as with inexpensive bags, there are sequined and rhinestone belts on many lower-end fashion sites that you aren’t likely going to make a regular part of your wardrobe. But they can be the very thing that makes your holiday look. (Although I have an adorable friend in her 50s who wears a rhinestone belt with her jeans regularly.) This first one is the higher end.

Revolve Baby Farah Belt $156

And this is the bargain one that you save for just this sort of occasion.

Amazon: Rhinestone chain belt $18.98

A New Kind of Hair Bling: It’s a “Thing”

Several months ago, I saw a woman at the gym who was about my age and who had mostly gray hair. Woven through her hair were strands of pink and silver tinsel. It was absolutely magical and angelic. I’ve been coveting that look ever since. It’s a crafts-y do-it-yourself trend and the tutorials are on the internet.

But since we’re talking about hair, an easy way to add some holiday sparkle – and another little crafts project – would be to buy an inexpensive fabric headband and glue on some strategically placed rhinestones (not a whole rhinestone headband unless you want to look like a queen). You get extra points by matching the color of the headband to your blouse or bag.

Amazon: Dreshow Braided Headband $6.99

Amazon: Terse Velvet Headbands: $8.88

Tip #4: Re-Purposing Jewelry

Of course, a fun pair of drop earrings in gemstone colors or a diamond-like necklace will add festive bling. But there are some fun tricks adopted by fashionistas that can make your jewelry multi-purpose.

First of all, if you have a long necklace – pearl, chain, gemstone (faux is better for this purpose) – consider using it as a belt. It’s a very “Chanel-type” thing to do, btw. If it’s very long – long enough to wrap twice around your waist – you can make one of the lengths drape slightly. You can also fasten it in such a way that part of it hangs down. Or you can secure the looser section with a decorative pin.

Pearl and Chain necklace, Etsy: $29.99

Amazon: IDOKAWA 8MM Round Simulated Shell Pearl Strand Layered Necklace $29.99

Another tip I learned from a friend and that I recommend frequently, is to look for some costume jewelry clip-on gemstone earrings at your favorite thrift shop. Clip them to the middle top of simple flats or heels. Instant bling! You can also attach one to a fold-over clutch bag.

Here’s how my friend Judy blinged up her plain suede pumps.

So, unless you’ve been invited to a royal ball, there’s really no need to go into debt just to stay visible and sparkly for the holidays.

Let’s all raise a glass of bubbly for peace, good times, and a bright 2026! Happy New Year!

Andrea’s books and new video series:

The post How to Sparkle up for the Holidays – Inexpensively appeared first on Shopping for the Real You.

Is it too early to start thinking of holiday gifts? I think not. One of my goals this  year has been to avoid things that cause me anxiety or worry as much a possible. And feeling rushed or pressured to get things done on time is one of those. So I’ve already started planning and shopping for items that I know would be a bit hit.

I chose these because I think they would be a big hit with anyone you give them to also! These are not fashion items, but I thought they represented what giving is all about. So, along with these items I’m including some ideas for intangibles that can have a tangible impact on someone’s life and their heart.

Here’s my list and I’d love to know if you have some you’d love to share. I will include some them in an upcoming YouTube video! Drop me a line at: andrea@shoppingfortherealyou.com

Bring in the Light!

I love candles. I love them year-round, but especially during the fall and winter months. I believe that’s because all the winter holidays – Divali, Hanukkah, Christmas – are about bringing light into the darkness of the season for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere.

Now, as I avoid toxins as much as possible I hunted around for the best quality candles around. The key is to avoid synthetic fragrances, which typically contain hormone-disrupting chemicals, to choose wicks that are made of cotton, wood, or hemp materials, and wax that is made from soy, coconut or beeswax instead of petroleum-based paraffin wax.

If you just want to chance it, Amazon has a HUGE listing of what are described as non-toxic candles at wildly varying prices. You’d have to do some research to figure out how they are produced, but the variety is certainly there: all types, all fragrances, different containers. As always, read the reviews.

But here is my pick. For bargains on just about everything, Quince wins hands down. And now, in addition to clothing, they have expanded into home accessories. Their team informed me that they use all the “safe” ingredients, including natural essential oils, but add just a touch of IFRA-compliant aroma molecules (no phthalates/parabens). [IFRA is the international organization that monitors and enforces guidelines for safe use of fragrance ingredients in consumer products like perfumes, cosmetics, detergents, and other scented goods. They work to ensure that fragrances are safe for human health and the environment.]

Here are just three from their offerings, English Rose, Balsam Fir, and Dark Pomegranate, each of them $24.00

The less tangible:

Light up someone’s life: Do you know someone who could use a little more light in their life, their outlook, or in their environment? Can you contribute your time to help them tidy up their yard or garden or plant some spring flower bulbs? Or could you help them paint a small room in their house? How about just taking them to see Christmas lights and then out for a special dessert treat?

Light yes, but not when you want to sleep!

My essential nighttime routine involves dabbing some Best Sleep Ever essential oil on my wrists (mixed with a touch of a carrier oil) from Edens Garden, rubbing Pro Sleep Plus on my feet (my guest Melina Takvorian Mishra spoke about this in my book), and then putting on my sleep mask. Wearing that sleep mask is kind of like what I imagine people with anxiety feel when they use a “weighted” blanket. It feels cozy and makes me feel protected. Also, as there are skylights in our bedroom the room never gets completely dark. So the sleep mask is essential, especially when there’s a full moon!

I searched far and wide for a pure silk sleep mask and found that they aren’t as available as they were, even a few years ago. Most that describe their products as “silk” are often made from polyester. So when I saw that Quince was selling their mulberry silk sleep mask for $19 it was a no brainer. Alas, the silk is only on the inner and outer surface; the stuffing is still polyester. But it’s very well made and the silk feels nice on my face and eyes. I throw it in the washing machine regularly and it holds up really well. They come in multiple colors.

Quince Sleep Mask $19

I also discovered a company called Lulu Silk that offers one listed as a blindfold/sleep mask  and the filling on this one is also silk! It’s really inexpensive ($13.99). It actually looks more like a blindfold and would likely be too big on my face, but at that price it’s certainly worth a try.

Lulu Silk sleep mask/blindfold $13.99

The intangible:

Worry keeps people awake. Look for one stressor that is making life difficult for someone you love. Yes, these often fall under the category of money or health, and you may not be able to help directly in either area. But consider what you could do to make their challenge a little less stressful. Here’s my suggestion.  Sometimes, especially during the holidays, all someone needs is a non-judgmental ear. You may not be able to do anything about their plight. But what you can do is just listen. Just be present. That can be the greatest gift they receive this season.

For the foodies in your life…indulge!

In my misbegotten youth, my college roommate and I used to forage for roses to make rose petal jam. The karma for that was that we probably consumed a lifetime of agricultural toxins (we weren’t picky about where we found the roses). Nonetheless, the jam tasted sublime.

Fast forward.  Nothing I made has ever compared to the SVAyurveda Organic Rose Petal Preserves.

I gave this as a gift recently and my recipient is still raving about it. It soothes the soul, uplifts the spirit and makes life better, one little spoonful at a time. The website explains how all that is accomplished in terms of Ayurvedic medicine. These are available in a 1.5 ounce jar for $8.50 or 8 oz for $35.00. You will definitely be somebody’s best friend for dropping this in their stocking or gifting it for any holiday or birthday.

Then there is my version of a foodie “cocaine” trap. A few years back I found this site and wrote about it for a blog post about gifts for different style archetypes. I honestly think this site should come with a warning: may cause addiction. Gold Belly sources the yummiest, most beautiful, most varied, most unique food gifts from all around the world and offers them through their site. We’re talking everything from hand made chocolates to full meal kits, from pies and cakes to barbecued brisket. Since shipping times are always iffy the closer you get to Christmas and/or New Year, I suggest you peruse the site soon to make sure your gifts will arrive on time.

Gold Belly Pies: Range from $55-$105

Cafe Palermo Canolis – 2 dozen kit $89.95

Red Truck Bakery Flourless Chocolate Truffle Gluten Free Cake $39

Olga’s Kitchen Greek Dinner Kit for 4: $105

Union Square Cafe Lasagna 4 pieces $139

They also have nice stocking stuffers like barbecue sauce, seasonings and spices, and special items from famous restaurants plus an enormous selection from well-known chefs like Ina Garten, Geoffrey Zakarian, Gregory Gourdet, Maneet Chauhan, Jose Andres and others.

Ina Garten

Gregory Gourdet

Maneet Chauhan

If you just can’t choose, a gift card is the perfect gift form this site. It will be delivered via snail mail, email, or SMS.

Alternatively: 

If you love to bake, as I do, whip up an extra batch of cookies for someone. Teach some youngsters how to bake. And then, together, wrap them up nicely and deliver them to a neighbor, friend, or family member. And the best of all, if you can, donate to a food bank, regularly. It’s needed now more than ever.

Read, reminisce, learn

For my sister’s milestone birthday this year, her daughter collected photos from her grandkids, siblings, nieces, nephews, and in-laws, and compiled them into a memento book via Shutterfly. It was simply spectacular and deeply moving for everyone. There were photos of five generations represented, and they brought back so many wonderful memories for her and for all of us. She said it was exactly the perfect gift. You can create something similar on the Shutterfly website for under $20. And I can almost guarantee you that nothing will be more deeply appreciated.

Now, I can’t remember where I first heard about this book, but James Clear (perfect name, by the way) wrote what I consider the most life transforming book I have read in decades. It’s called Atomic Habits and every page is a revelation. I have never considered creating and changing habits from this perspective before. He leaves no stone unturned about the science of how it works. It is brilliantly written, easily accessible, very relatable, and would be a wonderful gift – not only for someone else, but for yourself for the New Year.

In general books are always a terrific gift. And of course, in case you haven’t added my book to your style arsenal, Shopping for the Real You is a first-step primer on understanding the principles and the “whys” of dressing well for your body, personality, and style. It will be a helpful companion to several courses I have in the pipeline. Stay tuned!

Also, last Christmas I released a compilation book from a series of blog posts I wrote about the many ways we can give something to ourselves –  the gift of Self Care. If there was any time of the year when we need it, this is that time. Many of the life lessons in this book were contributed by wonderful guest experts in their fields. Those lessons cover everything from improving self-worth to health, from relationships to skin care, and from financial security to healthy indulgences. Speaking of indulgences, just recently a dear friend gifted me a mani-pedi and although I am slammed for time and have dozens of clients waiting for their style analyses, I scheduled that mani-pedi. (I do try to follow my own advice!)

Intangible:

Read a book to someone, a child, a shut in or someone whose eyesight might be failing.

Relax and just Breathe…

Well, you deserve to take a break around the holidays. This time of year is traditionally hectic. When the year is young we are full of energy and enthusiasm. That’s why we make New Year’s resolutions in January. But by the time Christmas rolls around we are often just running on fumes. So I choose to make those fumes nourishing by doing some deep breathing with essential oils. My very favorite essential oil is called Breathe. It is from doTerra, and you can pretty much count on all their items to be safe and wild sourced.

DoTerra: Breathe Respiratory Blend $29

This one does exactly what its name says – it helps you breathe. But more than that, it helps you relax and breathe deeply. I use it daily, rubbing a drop or two over my chest. The instructions say to cut it with something like a little bit of almond or coconut oil, which they also have available, but those you can find pretty much anywhere.

As for relaxing and breathing, “somatic awareness” are the new “buzz” words, and for good reason. Paying attention to what your body is telling you, and then actually acting on that message, often gets ignored or put off until “later”. So here’s a solution: it’s a terrific gift, and possibly something to buy for yourself as well: bite sized somatic awareness exercises on flash cards that can be accomplished in short time frames, are explained easily and clearly, and illustrated with lovely visuals.

A company called Better Days offers a card deck called Somatic Therapy Exercises: “60 Techniques to Soothe Stress, Reconnect with Your Body, and Find Comfort”. There’s something so satisfying about holding one of these cards in your hands. They’re kind of like having a personal life coach who keeps your body, mind and spirit connected.

Somatic Exercises: $22.29

Less tangible:

This one is for you. Set your timer for 45-60 minute intervals when you’re doing a task. When that buzzer goes off, just stop. Stop, step away from your project, better yet, go outside, and just take a break. Costs nothing…and is priceless.

Connect and create…

Speaking of flash cards, Talking Points has a series of them that will engage silent or reluctant teens to communicate with the adults in the family. It’s a brilliant idea, imho. The family cards include questions such as: “If we had a special family day together, what would you want to do?” or “What do children know more about than adults?” (That’s a loaded question.) There are versions specifically for teens and one for kids that is especially useful on road trips to keep them busy.  And there is a “Big Laughs” one. Here is one of the questions in that group:  “If you’re trapped in an elevator with a tech guru, and astronaut or a social media influencer who is the ones the most likely help you to get out?” 

Talking Points Cards $22.97

Create

For my fashionistas, Beverly Feldman has led a wonderfully larger-than-storied life as a shoe designer. She now lives in Spain and is a colorful example of aging with panache. If you are a shoe lover and want a non-guilty pleasure to take your mind off holiday pressures, check out her vintage shoe coloring book and spend a while creating your own versions of what the colors of the shoes should be.

Beverly Feldman’s Vintage Coloring Book $12.99

Invite a friend or loved one to a plein air watercolor “party” by gifting them one of these delightful beginners watercolor paint books. (Of course, buy yourself one too.) And if weather allows, make it a picnic!

Less tangible: 

Just call or write. Call someone you care about. Write them a newsy personal note on a beautiful card. It doesn’t even have to be a holiday-related card. Maybe one you paint or design yourself! Just make it visually beautiful. Maybe add a pressed flower inside. Maybe include a photo of the two of you from a memorable time or event. It can be the thing that just makes someone’s day. So those are just a few of my gift suggestions these days. I’d love to know if you try any of them and how they were received!

Stay tuned for some inexpensive holiday fashion ideas to bling up and brighten up your holiday events.

[A few of these suggestions are from my affiliates (and I am an also an Amazon affiliate) so if you purchase anything I may earn a small commission for featuring their items. It doesn’t add anything to your cost and I never choose anything I wouldn’t use myself.]

Andrea’s books and new video series:

The post Irresistible – and meaningful – Stocking Stuffers appeared first on Shopping for the Real You.