Jenn Sadai's Blog - Posts Tagged "confidence"

There's a sentence I never thought I'd type!

My thighs have always been the greatest source of my insecurities. My ex used to refer to them as "Cottage Cheese Thighs," which inspired the title of book #3. I'm taking ownership of that nickname name and turning it into something positive!

My self-esteem has been linked to the scale most of my life. As my weight rose and feel between 135 and 195 pounds, my confidence did the reverse. After twenty years of obsessing over my weight, I decide to toss out the scale and focus on loving myself for all my other great attributes.

My plan worked! Maybe too well? My confidence grew as I was writing "Cottage Cheese Thighs" and I realize now that my there is NOTHING wrong with my thighs! They're thick and have a little cellulite, but that's 100% normal.

In fact, I'm now concerned I'm too fit to be effective. The purpose of this book is to retraining our brains to love our bodies, flaws and all. My body is not nearly as flawed as I thought. I'm not sure why I hated it so much because it truly is beautiful!

My photo shoot for the cover is on Saturday and I'll be wearing tiny shorts showing off my thighs for the first time in my life. I just hope they are big enough to get my point across. In the meantime, I've spent the last few weeks eating things I shouldn't and limiting my exercise. It feels incredible to simply live my life without worrying about how much I weigh!

Absolutely crazy how far I've came in the last six months! I can't wait to share my "Cottage Cheese Thighs" with the world!

Some women have a hard time complimenting themselves or recognizing their worth in society. I used to be one of them. My expectations of myself far exceeded anything I would ask of anyone else. I would critic my appearance and abilities as if I was worthless. I was my own worst enemy.

Not any more! Writing Cottage Cheese Thighs reminded me that I am beautiful, inside and out. I've never felt more confident and capable. I'm delivering copies of my book, with my dimply thighs on the cover, and beaming with pride. I'm not ashamed of this body. More importantly, I'm proud of my journey and thrilled to be sharing it with the world.

I truly believe this book will help other women see their real beauty. That has been the response from those who've finished it and it feels incredible. My stories are having a positive affect on other people! I'm so proud of how far I've came in the last few years. There's no stopping me now!

Last week, I had the chance to find out what I weigh. The nurse weighed me at the hospital before surgery. I will confess that I was tempted to look down. I still wonder sometimes if I've gained weight, lost any or stayed the same. Thankfully, I don't think of it often and it has no affect on how I enjoy my life.

The last time I saw my weight was April 1st (to write the conclusion to Cottage Cheese Thighs) and I truly appreciate living without the scale. I'm proud of myself for resisting it when I could have easily peaked and no one would have known about it. Fortunately, I've already realized that I'm better off not knowing.

I know I'm healthy and active. My weight is irrelevant to my happiness, my capabilities or my value as a person. That's all I really need to know!

Cottage Cheese Thighs

I write poetry to build myself up...


Oversharing everything.
I'm honest to a fault.
Negative energy blasting.
Pushover, I am not.
Fabulously flawed.
Owning my mistakes.
Encouraging the underdog.
Weeding out the fakes.
Loved and supported.
Occasionally, quite hated.
Good and bad unsorted.
Confidence never deflated.
Far from being perfect.
Perfectly happy with myself.
Not what you'd expect.
Yet, my intention is to help.
Love me or leave me.
I'll stand tall either way.
I am who I want to be.
No matter what you say.