Cynthia W. Gentry's Blog

I’ve been keeping a big secret, and now I can finally share it. I’m beyond thrilled to announce that my debut novel Her Life in Ruins has been bought by akaSTORY, a new imprint of Abrams Books, at auction in a two-book deal!!!1

Here’s the January 22 deal report from Publishers Marketplace, which I might just frame and hang on the wall:

PINCH ME.

I even made the Publishers Lunch email newsletter. It was quite a day.

Annotations mine, obvs.

Writer friends call this becoming “Pub Lunch Official,” and believe me, it’s MUCH BETTER than becoming Instagram- or Facebook-official (especially because I’m not even sure those are still a thing).

This book—and my "brilliant but messy" protagonist—are so close to my heart. If you like friends-to-lovers stories about academic rivals, stolen antiquities, and PhD candidates who barely have their lives together, then I think you’ll enjoy this book.

I’m so grateful to my amazing agents and Peter Knapp at Park, Fine & Brower, and my fabulous editor Anne Heltzel at akaSTORY, for making this dream come true. I don’t have enough superlatives to throw around. Working with them has been such a joy.

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But wait! There’s more.

So more about akaSTORY. It’s a new commercial adult imprint from Abrams Books that was announced on January 21 in this Publishers Weekly article. I didn’t quite realize that my book is the inaugural title.

What. Is. Happening.

My friend Erica Jamieson sent this screenshot to one of our group chats, because she rocks.

The Hungarian rights sold to Libri. Budapest, here I come.2

UTA is handling film and TV rights. Orly Greenberg and Laura Pawlak while crossing fingers and toes.>

All this excitement means I’m way behind on everything. I’m still planning to send out my monthly author email newsletter soonish, so I can share some of the great shows and movies I’ve been watching and the books I’m reading. You can subscribe here if you’re not already.

So…what’s next?

Ever since I signed with Stuti and Pete, I’ve been threatening to share the story of “my querying journey." It’s not like it’s a big secret. Over the past year, I’ve talked about it over Zoom with ’s publishing class, and on a panel at Page Street Writers. So I have no excuse not to write about it here. But I will not post my slides, because I will not have you laugh at my lame PowerPoint/Google Slides skills.

In the meantime, remember how the deal for Her Life in Ruins was a two-book deal? I’m busy working on that second book and trying not to panic.

Watch this space for news about the cover reveal, pre-orders, and launch news. You can also subscribe to my newsletter or follow me on Instagram or Facebook.

And again, a massive thank you to akaStory for believing in this story of a reverse-heist-plotting, antiquities-rescuing, occasionally slutty (in a good way) archaeologist and her adventures.

1

I promise to never again use 3 exclamation points in a Substack post. Well, I sort of promise.

2

Seriously. I’ll go anywhere. I love to travel. I hate packing, but I love to travel.

The mom in this photo is definitely not wondering how she’ll put up with her husband’s snoring.

Our son just left for his junior year of college, which seems outrageous and impossible. It occurred to me that I might learned a few things over the last two years of empty nesting. Here they are, in no particular order.

1. The nest won’t be empty forever. Probably.

Depending on things like the distance of their college from home, location of summer internships, or the state of the economy, kids come back for winter break, holidays, summers, and maybe even after graduation. That’s why I, like many others, think we need an alternate phrase for “empty nest.” Author Gretchen Rubin suggests the metaphor “open door,” which I like, although I’m not sure what phrase would replace “empty nester.” She Who Keeps the Door Open doesn’t have quite the same punch.

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2. But that doesn’t mean it gets any easier when they leave.

I didn’t cry when we said goodbye to our son at freshman orientation two years ago. I was fine, more or less, when we moved him into his room for his sophomore year. This year, C had to return to school two weeks before the start of classes for freshman-orientation-week advisor training. “You don’t both need to come,” he told us, and since my husband was handling the logistics of shipping C’s car, he took on the back-to-school trip, and I was relegated to hugging them goodbye at the airport. It was all very mature and logical. I STILL FEEL SAD, and I still miss C terribly. Author Whitney Fleming calls this “momancholy.” Yup.

3. Families Weekend is optional.

Like many schools, my son’s university offers a “Families Weekend” about a month or so after the start of school. Every year, the parents’ Facebook group (more on this later) bursts with posts from anxious parents asking what they’ll miss if they can’t attend. The answer: nothing.

Families Weekend is a nice opportunity to meet other families, hear some faculty lectures (if that’s your thing), and maybe take in a football tailgate/game. I think it’s the university’s way of buffering empty nesters’ grief and easing you out of your kid’s college experience, an experience that should be for them, not you. You will NOT scar your child for life if you miss Families Weekend. Which brings me to…

4. If you do attend Families Weekend, keep your expectations low.

Or better, keep them nonexistent. Six weeks into the school year, your kid will be busy busy busy with classes, mid-terms, studying, new friends, and activities, which is as it should be. They may not have a lot of time for you. Don’t take it personally. I wrote a post about what happened when I didn’t heed this advice.

5. Mistakes will be made.

And that’s okay. For example, your kid may try to pet a squirrel.

He looks soft and fluffy, but make no mistake, he’s an asshole.6. Yes, you’re buying too much for their freshman dorm room.

Those helpful packing lists provided by other well-meaning parents? Too long. Most schools are within spitting distance of a Target or similar retail outlet, and your kids will probably want to pick out their own decor. If, that is, they’re concerned about decorating at all. My son hung the California state flag on his wall and called it a day. (I can’t even with the trend of over-the-top dorm room decorations right now. This is insane.)

7. Your kid will figure it out, if you let them.

What classes to take. What classes to drop. What clubs to join. Where the post office is. What the post office is. How to advocate for better food in the dining hall. These are all things your young adult will eventually learn to do without your help. Julie Lythcott-Haims, who wrote How to Raise an Adult (which should be required reading for American parents), recently posted 7 Mantras to Help You Curb Over-Parenting on her Substack. READ IT. Don’t be like the parent who asked at our freshman orientation how they’d get access to their college student’s grades. Bless the dean who gave them a very diplomatic answer.

8. When they tell you, “I’ll figure it out,” believe them.

IMHO, my son waited way too long to lock down a summer internship. (The key word there is “IMHO.”) His preferred option was a role at the local university where he worked last summer; if that didn’t work out, he was “maybe” going to work at another school in a different state (noooooooooo, I screamed inside my soul). “I’ll figure it out,” he assured me, because he has boundaries. I learned that “I’ll figure out out” are the four words every parent should want to hear, because he did indeed figure it out.

A wise friend told me that when you jump in to “help” your kids with something, you send the message that they’re not competent enough to handle it, and that’s why we get news articles about parents accompanying their adult children to job interviews. (My son would call Security on me if I tried to do that.)

I’m not saying you shouldn’t be standing by to answer questions or explain how to fill out a tax form, because then you’d miss the gratifying moment when your kid asks you if adulthood is just filling out paperwork. Yes, my son. Yes, it is.

Welcome to adulthood, my child. Photo by Rebekah Roy on Unsplash9. Find something (a hobby, a job, a calling) to do that isn’t related to parenting.

Your days of Canvas logins and PTA meetings are over. Yay! Now you have great swaths of time that used to be consumed by the eternal question, “What’s for dinner?” Resist the urge spend that time stalking your child on Life360 and Instagram. RESIST. Not to get all woo-woo, but now you get to find out what you like to do. Luckily I had lots to keep me busy even before C started college: writing and editing for clients (I have a marketing writing business), querying literary agents, going to conferences and writing retreats, and revising my novel. I also took my first book research trip, an archaeological tour of the Yucatán. Do stuff you’ve always wanted to do.

10. Beware the parents’ Facebook group (or take it with a boulder of salt).

Chances are there’s a Facebook group for parents of students at your child’s college. This can be a great place to share and get information, and I’m truly moved by the compassion parents show for one another, particularly when someone needs to find medical or mental health resources for their child. However, keep in mind that anything you post in the Facebook group has a very good chance of getting back to your kid. Adjust accordingly.

Remember the rule “Never put something in a text or email or social media post that you wouldn’t want read aloud in a court of law”? In this case, it’s the Court of Gen Z, i.e., your child, who doesn’t want you joining a petition calling for heirloom tomatoes in the dining hall.1 Let the students navigate the on-campus battles, and save your outrage for . Besides, you’ll be too busy with #9, right?

One last thing.

I would have added this as tip #11 but “10 tips” sounds better as a headline: You may hear from your student a lot less than you’d like. I’ve gone from daily updates about our favorite college football team’s recruiting moves and nightly arguments about which streaming show to watch to almost complete radio silence. This isn’t a surprise: it’s the middle of freshman orientation, and as an advisor, my son has no spare time. Sometimes I have to be content with a heart emoji on a texted picture of one of our cats.

Sadly, it’s up to me to manage my withdrawal from having my kid around (I do this with a shit-ton of chocolate). I want him to be secure enough to know that he can live his life and have his college experiences without worrying that his parents are dissolving into puddles of need and expectations back home.

I guess that’s the thing about having an open door: you have to try your best to make sure it opens into a safe haven.

What are some things you’ve done to make the empty nest/open door more bearable? I’d love to hear in the comments.

1

No such petition actually circulated at my son’s university, but dorm food quality is an evergreen topic in the parent Facebook group.

Look what I brought back from the Design Museum Denmark.

I’ve neglected this Substack for a few months now. Bad Substack author, bad! But I have a good reason: I was cranking to finish a revision on a deadline that fell right before before my husband and I went to Copenhagen to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary, and I didn’t want to go on vacation with work hanging over my head, even if it was fun work. So, for a few months, I made the revision my priority and let most other things else slip, including this Substack.

The conventional wisdom is that writers have to post regularly here if they want to “build their platform,” but when I have the choice is between finishing my novel and writing a Substack post, the novel wins, which is part of the reason I haven’t turned on paid subscriptions. The pressure of a weekly (nonfiction) deadline is something I don’t want to do to myself right now.

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Anyway, I finished the revision, sent it off to my editor, and went to Copenhagen, where I ate my weight in pastries and then some. Why Copenhagen? Well, I’d never been there, and it was on my bucket list, partly because my maternal great-grandparents were Danish and migrated to the U.S. from Denmark (thank you very much, Ancestry.com and your damn waving leafs that seduce me with “hints” about my ancestors).

Also, family lore held that a sailboat my dad had was once owned by the King of Denmark—WHICH IT TURNS OUT IT WAS—but the story of my quest to confirm that is for another post. Finally, I’d also heard Copenhagen was a wonderful city. Which it was.

Now I’m waiting for edits on my novel.1 To make the wait more bearable, I took the advice of my friend/writing teacher Elizabeth Stark and started forging ahead on my next project. “Forging ahead” makes it sound like I’m churning out 10,000 words a day, when the truth is more that I’m spending a week on a 300-word prologue, with most of the time allocated to “researching” (i.e., going down Internet rat holes) the cooperative feeding habits of white pelicans. And ancient Maya codices. (There may or may not be a link.)

I’ve finally resorted to a technique championed by Ellen Sussman: I insert brackets and type the thing I need to research, like “[NAMES OF SHOREBIRDS]” or “[FANCYPANTS ARCHITECTURAL STYLES OF THE 1960S],” into the text so I can deal with it later.

Not gonna lie: It’s slow going. My somewhat embarrassing problem is that I’ll sit down to start working on a new scene—or I’ll have an idea for a Substack post—and the voice of my Inner Critic will muscle in to offer its opinion.

See if any of these sound familiar:

“Nobody will want to read about X [insert topic/story/scene idea here].”

“If you write about that, people will get mad.”

“You used to be a good writer, but you’re not anymore.”

“You’ve forgotten how to write.”

“You don’t know enough about this subject to write about it. Do more research.”

“That other writer is so much better than you.2 Why bother?”

A postcard I bought at the Design Museum Denmark. Pretty much it sums up. Sorry about the desk clutter.

And on and on. You get the idea. And OF COURSE I know the voice is wrong (probably), and ridiculous, and I should know better after several books, so I tell it to shut the fuck up. I reread what the wonderful Tara Mohr says about quieting the inner critic.

Then my Inner Critic switches tactics. It tells me I need to do all manner of housework and paperwork RIGHT NOW, or read and/or answer email (don’t ask me how many unread emails I have), because doing all those things will be productive. Before I know it, the day is over, and all I want to do is stream Netflix, slackjawed.

Meanwhile, in the back of my mind, I know another round of edits are coming. I’m waiting. And I’m not good at waiting, even though it’s part of the job description when you’re an author.

So tell me: What do you do when you’ve finished a major project, whether it’s a first draft or a revision, while you’re waiting for feedback? Do you take a break from the work? Dive right into the next project? Clean out your bookshelves?

Let me know in the comments. Feel free to confess not only constructive strategies but your most outlandish ways of avoiding the blank page. I’m here for you.

The photo that started this post is from one of my favorite pieces at the Design Museum Denmark: “Bottled Pondering” by Aepenton. No, I didn’t steal it. Yes, they sell the bottles in the museum gift shop. Museum gift shops are the best.

I’ll leave you with a photo of what I ate every day for breakfast in Copenhagen. Swear to God, butter and coffee would be on my family’s coat of arms, if we had one.

A cardamom pastry and a cappuccino at Coffee Collective Bernikow, Copenhagen. I also highly recommend the cardamom croissant at Hart Bageri. It will make you weep.1

A friend commented recently that “It seems like most of publishing seems like waiting.” Yes. No matter how experienced a writer you are, this is SO TRUE.

2

Last night, this one popped up after I read David Sedaris’s latest essay in The New Yorker, “Your Hip Surgery, My Headache,” which made me laugh out loud and which I insisted on reading to my husband while he was trying to play solitaire on his phone.

Substack AI fails me yet again. I asked it to generate an image of “a stylish middle-aged woman watching television.” Instead I got this gal with TV anchor hair who isn’t even watching her TV, even though it shows a bald guy with swim goggles about to make heart hands. Not sure what’s going on with the yellow stoplight.

Last month, I listed the movies that I watched in 2024. This post lists the TV series I watched, liked, and loathed last year. Like I did with my movies lists, I’ve grouped them into three categories:

Watch these: Shows you should add to your “up next” list as soon as possible.

Maybe watch these: Shows that are worth a watch, but didn’t quite make it to my favorites list. Note: I moved some very good shows to this category because the first category was getting too long.

Skip these: Self-explanatory. You’re welcome.

I listed all shows in alphabetical order. Also, some of these shows didn’t come out in 2024, but that’s when I/we watched them.

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Watch these.

Band of Brothers: This miniseries wasn’t on my radar when it came out in 2001, but I’m glad I made time to watch it now. A true classic. It’s fun to spot actors like Damian Lewis, Michael Fassbender, Ron Livingston, and Andrew Scott relatively.

Bridgerton, Season 3: I can't get enough of this series. There. I said it. Nicola Coughlan crushes her leading role this season. Give me all the Polin.

English Teacher: A genuinely funny sit-com about a high school English teacher in Austin, Texas, fighting the educational culture wars.

Only Murders in the Building Seasons 2-4: Catching up on this show was been a balm for my frazzled soul. LOVED the banter between Steve Martin and Martin Short. Selena Gomez keeps getting better and better. And Meryl Streep: no words.

Ripley: A neo-noir thriller that takes its time, but that's okay: the cinematography and Andrew Scott (the Hot Priest in Fleabag) are stunning.

Rivals: This sexy and hilarious show, set in the 1980s, is about the rivalry between two powerful men. The ensemble cast is perfection (as is the music).

Shōgun: I wasn't sure about the first episode (it was unpleasantly yucky), but then I got totally sucked in. The intrigue! The sets! The shots! The costumes! Episode 6 features one of the most intensely romantic scenes I've ever seen on television. Great writing and acting. It. Is. So. Good. WATCH IT.

The Diplomat Season 2: Keri Russell and Rufus Sewell are excellent in this series about a career diplomat who reluctantly becomes ambassador to the UK. As for Season 2, two words: ALLISON JANNEY. I recommend watching Season 1 if you haven't so you understand WTH's going on.

The Gentlemen: Netflix turned the 2019 Guy Ritchie movie into a series starring the super-hot Theo James, and boy, is it a hoot.

The Jinx, Season 1: Because Season 2 dropped this year, we decided to watch the the first season, which aired in 2015. WOW. Even though I knew the basics of the story, I wasn't prepared for THAT FINALE.

True Detective, Season 4: Night Country: I couldn't get into the first season, but I binged this one. It was excellent. Creepy, but excellent. Jodie Foster (who just won a Golden Globe for her role) and Kali Reis are amazing as the leads.

Maybe watch these.

Bad Monkey: Vince Vaughn is perfect as Detective Andrew Yancy in this 10-episode series based on the Carl Hiaasen's novel. And Jodie Turner-Smith is a revelation.

Beckham: This 4-part documentary charts the rise of soccer superstar David Beckham. While this series is by and large a love letter to Beckham, it's fascinating.

Disclaimer: I got sucked into the first episode of this limited series directed by Alfonso Cuarón and starring Cate Blanchett, Kevin Kline, and Sacha Baron Cohen. Then I started to have second thoughts due to the plot, which revolves around the death of a teenage son. I'm going to try to stick with it a little longer. Update: Since I watched the first episode in October, I haven’t gone back.

Foundation (Season 2): I'm not a sci-fi fan, but I still find this show intriguing, probably LEE PACE because of LEE PACE the actors LEE PACE. Not sure how I feel about Season 2, however. Maybe there wasn’t enough LEE PACE.

Killing Eve, Season 1: I'm very late watching this series with Sandra Oh and Jodie Comer, who are both amazing. I'm sorry I waited so long. It’s only on my maybe list because of the violence. It’s often hard to watch.

Nobody Wants This: Caveat: I didn’t list this show in my must-watch list because I’ve only watched the first 2 episodes. So far I love this series about the romance between an agnostic sex podcaster and a newly single rabbi who fall in love, but I love it already.

Receiver: My son got me to watch this series, which follows five NFL receivers during the 2023 season. I'm most intrigued by the players' mental games: how they hone their skills, deal with setbacks, and visualize success. I’m putting this series in the “maybe” category because 1) you probably need to be a football fan to appreciate it, and 2) I started it in the summer and haven’t finished it.

The Bear, Season 3: A beautifully filmed season of character development, though only a few characters actually develop. No discernible plot.

The Instigators: Yet another movie that I really wanted to love. But it was just okay, despite the great cast (Matt Damon, Casey Affleck, Hong Chau, Ving Rhames). Still, there could be worse ways to spend 2 hours (see Jackpot, below).

The Perfect Couple: We binged this six-episode series in two days and enjoyed it heartily. Such a well-done, sly series that at heart is about female rage. Great cast, with a special shout-out to Michael Beach (Police Chief Carter) and Donna Lynne Champlin (Detective Henry). Spinoff, please.

Welcome to Wrexham, Season 3: The underdog club owned by Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney gets promoted into the English Football League and struggles to stay there. Could have used more Ryan Reynolds.

Skip these.

Gen V: A spinoff of The Boys that takes place in a superhero-only college. Way too violent for me. I mean, come on, a college massacre scene? Who thought that was a good idea?

House of the Dragon, Season 2: It's not that the characters aren't likable (spoiler: they're not). They're not interesting, except for Rhaenys (Eve Best).

Kaos: Back in high school, I loved Greek mythology, and I love Jeff Goldblum, so I was excited for this series. I stopped watching after the second episode. Too dark for me.

Reacher (Season 2): Meh. I enjoyed the first season, but I just couldn't with this season's creaky dialogue and by-the-numbers plot.

By the way, I realized that in my 2024 movies post, I forgot to list Art and Craft, a fascinating 2014 documentary that follows Mark Landis, one of the most prolific (and strange) art forgers in U.S. history. Landis gave away hundreds of his own works—which he attributed to other famous artists—to a long list of prominent art museums.

I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Do you agree or disagree with my picks? Which shows did I miss? Why aren’t there more hours in the day? Why didn’t my son do a better job filling out our fantasy picks for the College Football Bowl season?

Finally, a bit of gratuitous self-promotion: If you want to get a monthly (or, let’s face it, semi-monthly) list of what I’m watching, reading, and listening to, sign up for my author newsletter.

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I asked Substack AI to generate an image of “a happy, stylish middle-aged woman watching a movie.” I got an AI fail. This woman isn’t even watching the movie on her screen about a man and his roll of paper towels. Instead, she appears to have just learned that her husband is going on an extended business trip.

Those of you who subscribe to my monthly author newsletter (which I send out from another platform because reasons) know that in one section I list the movies I saw that month. In this post I jump on the end-of-year “Best of” list bandwagon, but with a twist. I’ve gathered the movies I watched in 20241 in one place, but instead of giving you only the best, which would require me to pick favorites, I’m giving you all of them, categorized them into 3 giant buckets:

Watch these: Movies I loved and that you MUST watch. I know, bossy.

Maybe watch these: Movies that were good, but we could still be friends if you skipped them.

Skip these: Movies that I watched so you don’t have to, because they were horrible.

They’re listed alphabetically for easy scanning and because that’s the way my mind works.

Note: Most of these films were released in 2023 or 2024, but some are much older because they’re classics, and my husband and I decided it was our parental duty to force our son to watch them on his winter and summer breaks.

Watch these.

American Fiction: Captures the U.S. literary scene perfectly. And it’s brilliantly written and acted. I've met all the people on that literary award judging panel.

Anatomy of a Fall: Part mystery, part courtroom drama, this movie was "really good" (my teen son's words, which is high praise), in no small part because of Sandra Hüller's layered performance.

Barbie (second viewing): Watched this a second time on vacation, and enjoyed it just as much as the first time.

Conclave: Who would have thought that a movie about selecting a new Pope would be quite possibly the best movie of the year? And OMG, the cinematography.

Dumb Money: I'm a sucker for a David vs. Goliath story. We really enjoyed this movie about the Game Stop stock run-up.

Dune, Part 2: Saw this in the theater, and it was just as good on a second viewing at home. Plus, with subtitles you can understand what characters are whispering. I'm looking at you, Timothée Chala-Mala-Bing-Bong.

Poor Things: Brilliant and bonkers in the best possible way. Of all the movies I saw in 2024, this was my favorite. Emma Stone’s Oscar was 100% deserved.

Saving Private Ryan (1998): Watching this movie at home, I had the same visceral reaction as when I saw it on its release in 1998 (with a Frenchman, but that's another story). It's a streaming hit with good reason. Possibly the best war movie ever made.

The Fall Guy: I wish I'd seen it on the big screen. Great cast, though Emily Blunt was a little underused, IMHO. Overall, a super-fun movie.

The Holdovers: This film's quiet humor packs an emotional wallop. Paul Giamatti, Dominic Sessa and Da'Vine Joy Randolph are all superb. Highly recommend.

The Iron Claw: Excellent. Heartbreaking. Not what I expected at all. It's much more than a standard sports drama, and Zac Efron is phenomenal.

The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999): I'd forgotten how good this 1999 version was. I'd also forgotten how beautiful Jude Law is. The movie's very different from the recent series Ripley, which I also loved. Also, Jude Law is beautiful.

Whiplash (2014): One of the best movies ever. J.K. Simmons is phenomenal and rightfully deserved his Supporting Actor award.

Maybe watch these.

Between The Temples: I appreciated this movie. I really wanted to like it. The cast is superb; the writing often hilarious. But I found many of the scenes, especially a key dinner scene, excruciating. YMMV.

Challengers: I'm not sure I liked this movie, but I can't stop thinking about it. Zendaya really is amazing as a former tennis prodigy turned coach. Maybe I need to see it again.

Dazed and Confused (1993)/ Everybody Wants Some!! (2016): We had a mini Richard Linklater festival this summer. My son particularly liked EWS, despite its complete absence of plot. I liked seeing Glen Powell's early charisma.

Deadpool & Wolverine: Hilarious action. Clever dialogue. Amazingly choreographed fight scenes. But this movie is a “maybe” because of its extreme violent and gore, so be prepared. I’m not a fan of multiverse plotlines (zzzzz), but I loved the crossover jokes and cameos.

Hit Man: I so, so wanted to like this movie. It's a fun watch with snappy dialogue, and it makes some clever points about identity. Also: GLEN POWELL. But when it ended, I was just "meh."

Jerry Maguire (1996): Because our son is majoring in sports management and analytics, we forced him to watch this movie. He claimed to hate it for the first half hour, then got into it. Afterwards, we got to hear all about the inaccuracies.

Liar Liar (1997)/ Yes Man (2008): Both movies are good for some belly laughs, thanks to Carrey's genius for physical comedy.

Maestro: Carey Mulligan walks away with the movie, and Bradley Cooper smartly lets her. He was great, too. The performance of Mahler’s 2nd symphony in Ely Cathedral: I have no words—but that sequence is the only part of the movie I’d watch again.

Quarter-Life Crisis (2020): I'm very late to the stand-up comedian Taylor Tomlinson's party, but I'm glad I got there, because she’s HILARIOUS.

The Roast of Tom Brady: Worth watching just for Nikki Glaser's set, which was a masterclass in roasting. You can probably skip the rest, although Drew Bledsoe was pretty good.

Thelma: When 93-year-old Thelma Post (June Squibb) gets robbed by a phone scammer, she sets out on a quest for revenge. I thought it was an adorable hoot; hubby didn't care for it. YMMV. In the “maybe” category because it could be either relatable or triggering if you’re part of the Sandwich Generation.

Wolfs: I really wanted to like this movie, because y'all know how I feel about George Clooney. I was expecting the dialogue to be funnier and the pacing faster, although there were some good visual jokes about the stars' aging. I give it a B-. Sorry, George and Brad.

Skip these.

Jackpot: I saw this movie so you don't have to. Despite the best efforts of Awkwafina, John Cena, and Simu Liu, it was 104 minutes of my life I'll never get back.

Joy Ride: We laughed hardest at the very first scene. The rest was funny, but didn't live up the opening.

The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare: Possibly the worst war movie ever made. After watching and enjoying Guy Ritchie's The Gentleman, I had high hopes for a fun WWII heist story. Nope.

Wonka: Meh, squared. Best part: Hugh Grant.

Next up: The television and streaming series I watched in 2024. In the meantime, what other 2024 movies should I add to my must-watch list?

1

Originally, I was also going to list the streaming TV series I watched in 2024. Then the post began to balloon into a TL;DR of epic proportions (apparently I spend a lot of time on the couch, yikes), so I’m saving my binge list for another time.

Photo by Onur Binay on Unsplash

Yesterday I told my Facebook friends I was looking for comedies to watch tonight—other than election coverage, a dark comedy all its own, ha ha—because even though I’m a news junkie, I just can’t even anymore. Self-care, y’all.

My friends understood the assignment. Recommendations rolled in. Also people started talking with each other about their faves, which delighted me. (Community and connection, yay!)

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So without any further ado, here’s a completely unordered and uncurated list of the recommendations for spirit-lifting entertainment. Please add your own in the comments!

“Girls5eva. Hands down.”

“Nobody Wants This on Netflix. Very clever writing.” On my list.

“We're either watching episodes of Castle on Prime1 or a Hallmark Christmas movie. We peek at the election returns at around 9 (midnight eastern time) but not sure about that.”

“Old show, but if you’re a Nathan Fillion fan you can never go wrong with Firefly!! Greatest TV show ever made, hilarious dialogue, and might even be hubby approved. Other shows to renew your faith in humanity would be We’re Here on HBO, or reruns of Ted Lasso.”

“My absolute favorite mind candy show is Mindy Kaling's Never Have I Ever on Netflix. It's four seasons, mind you, so you can't watch it all tomorrow LOL -- but my husband and I binged it, then I watched the whole thing through separately with each of my girls. It's SO silly, but the Indian angle spoke to me. It's narrated by John McEnroe. No, really.”

“We’ve been watching Ghosts on Prime. Totally mindless. I will co-sign on Never Have I Ever and Nobody Wants This (even if it is mildly offensive as a Jewish woman). I’m just hating myself for not saving British Baking for tomorrow.”

“Watching insanely cheesy romcom. Insane.” When pressed for specifics: “In my fragile state I may revert to a few Miss Marple [episodes] and a Sister Boniface.”

“Not comedies per se … but Shrinking and Bad Sisters.” I’m SO happy that Season 2 of Shrinking dropped on October 16, and the second season of Bad Sisters premieres on November 13.

“Anything with Nate Bargatze on Netflix.2 Or Wanda Sykes if you want an edge!”

“Mike Birbiglia has quite a few specials on Netflix.”

“Only two episodes in and it was canceled after the first season, but I am liking Kaos on Netflix.”3

“Fisk, Shrinking, Superstore (an oldie but a goodie), Jane the Virgin (100 episodes so if it takes a while to count you'll be all set).”

“Step Brothers.”4

“We're watching Bad Monkey on Apple TV - dark comedy but SO good!”5

“Have you seen Loudermilk? It's excellent. I also find Only Murders in the Building to be a delightful distraction.” Agreed on Only Murders—sadly, I’ve finished Season 4. Loudermilk looks great.

“Nobody Wants This with Kristen Bell or No Hard Feelings with Jennifer Lawrence.”

And if you must watch the news: “I rarely watch election coverage, but tomorrow I might just have to watch ‘map daddy’ Steve Kornacki.” (Who is adorable.)

Last but not least, I’m going to chime in with a hearty recommendation for The Diplomat, which while not strictly comedy, has some very funny moments. You’ll want to binge-watch Season 1 so you can binge watch Season 2 and get to the appearance of the magnificent Allison Janney.

I’m sure more recommendations will float in as the day and night wear on (again, feel free to write in with yours), so I’ll add updates in the comments.

Good luck.

1

Castle is available on several streaming platforms (as are many of the shows on this list, in fact.

2

If you haven’t seen Bargatze play George Washington on SNL, you’re missing out.

3

Even though I love Jeff Goldblum, I stopped watching Kaos after two episodes. Too dark for me. YMMV.

4

YES. We’ve watched this movie so many times that “liver-spotted hands” is a catchphrase in my household. IYKYK.

5

I liked this series too. Jodie Turner-Smith is a revelation.

That time in 2011 when I got to take my son onto the field for batting practice.

On Thursday, September 26, the Oakland Athletics played their last game at the Oakland Coliseum, their home for the last 57 years. They’re headed to a minor-league ballpark in Sacramento until their new stadium in Las Vegas is built (supposedly). Why the move? The flash fiction version: the billionaire owner wanted money to build a stadium; he didn’t get it; he’s moving the team. No one is happy. No one. Least of all my family.

I’ll admit it right off: I didn’t used to be a baseball fan. In fact, I kind of hated baseball.

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When I was a kid, my parents had season tickets for the San Diego Padres. I went to the games at Jack Murphy Stadium (RIP) grudgingly.1 I was bored. I would much have preferred to stay at home reading a book or gabbing on the phone with a friend.

After I left for college, I didn’t go to a baseball game for decades. Decades. I only went to my college’s football games for the social aspect, i.e., the tailgates. My husband wasn’t a team sports fan, either. He prefers skiing.

But then two things happened: first, our 5-year-son inexplicably became a sports fan. “Fan” being an understatement. Didn’t matter which sport. C loved them all.

Doesn’t Harry Potter’s wand look like a baseball bat?

C started playing Little League T-ball and AYSO soccer. We took him to Stanford Football games during the Andrew Luck era. It was all sports, all the time.

Kaskey Kids Baseball Guys. IYKYK.

How the hell did I of all people produce a sports-loving kid? I’ve never been an athlete. I run only because it’s the sport that requires the least coordination. Maybe it skipped a generation. My maternal grandfather played baseball on the 1921 Cal baseball team. My parents took me and my brothers not only to see the Padres but to San Diego Chargers and San Diego State Aztecs games as well.2

But attending your kid’s Little League baseball and AYSO soccer games does not a sports fan make.

That’s when the second factor came into play, no pun intended. I went to work for a company that sponsored the A’s, and we started going to games as a family.

Our love affair with the team had begun. And as I began seeing baseball through my son’s eyes, my affection for the game grew.

Finally, I became a baseball fan.

A small portion of our A’s swag.

There’s something about sitting in a ballpark on a nice day with a hot dog and a cold drink that I started to find very, very relaxing, even if I didn’t know the difference between a changeup and a cutter (I still don’t). For three hours or so, I could forget the outside world; all the drama is contained to a grass field.

And there is drama on that field. Sports is about stories. Each game—each at-bat—is a little drama unto itself, full of suspense, highs, and lows. To get a little writerly, you can even map the three-act structure onto the game: the Ordinary World (warmups), Answering the Call (pitching change!), the All-is-Lost moment (the opposing team scores a home run to take the lead!), the Climax (a walkoff!). For a writer, it’s catnip.

Every player has a story, too. In 2018, A’s outfielder Stephen Piscotty asked to be traded to Oakland to be close to his mother, who was battling ALS. He hit a home run his first at-bat after returning from bereavement leave. And while we’re talking about Stephens, catcher Stephen Vogt, one of our favorite players, hit a home run on his final at-bat for the A’s in October 2022.

My family went to A’s games for 13 years, except during the 2020 pandemic.3

A’s vs. Padres, June 16, 2012. The A’s won 6-4.

When the A’s faced the Detroit Tigers in Game 3 of the American League Division Series in 2012, we were there. Earlier that day, the teachers in C’s afterschool program did face painting, and C made his teachers paint “Go” on one cheek, and “A’s” on the other. I can’t even describe the feeling inside Oakland Coliseum that night. Imagine 40,000 fans doing the Bernie Lean.

When the A’s beat the Seattle Mariners 9-0 in 2013 and clinched their division (I’m now a person who uses words like “clinched”), we were there.

Watching the A’s vs. the Mariners. A’s won 9-0.

When players like Dallas Braden, Stephen Vogt, Josh Reddick, Coco Crisp, Grant Balfour, Matt Olson, Matt Chapman, and Sean Manaea took the field, we were there.

When I click through our family photos, I see so many happy memories at the Oakland Coliseum. I watch C grow up in those pictures, from a boy I could hold on my hip when we met Kevin Kouzmanoff to a teenager who now towers over me.

C doesn’t play baseball anymore. He stopped playing when—as the smallest kid trying out (he hadn’t had his growth spurt)—he didn’t make the high school JV team his freshman year. Which was just as well, because the season was cancelled by COVID. Now in college, he’s majoring in sports management and analytics. Moneyball stuff.

When I asked C last night whether he watched any of the final A’s games, he said “Let’s not talk about that.” If this debacle hasn’t killed his love for baseball, it’s certainly injured it.

Which brings me to the Coliseum.

The Oakland Coliseum isn’t a great stadium. It’s old, it’s decrepit. During a rain delay in 2013, sewage flooded the coaches’ bathroom. At one point there was a possum living in the walls, and in true A’s fashion, fans adopted it as an unofficial mascot. During the COVID pandemic, feral cats invaded. The concourse was too narrow, making it impossible to get to your seat, the concessions, or the bathroom during crowded games. (Don’t get me started on how conditions deteriorated even more during the Fisher ownership era, as ticket prices increased and favorite players were traded away.)

Even getting to the stadium was a challenge, especially if you were coming from northbound 880. Sometimes took us an hour to travel the one mile from the Hegenberger exit to the parking lot. One playoff game, we didn’t get to our seats until the fifth inning.

But as you’ll read in the coverage of the final game, and in tributes from the players, the A’s fans were the best. The ballpark had a happy vibe. The ushers and security staff and concession workers (all of whom have now lost their jobs) were super friendly. I felt safe being there with C when it was just me and him. During the reverse boycott on June 13, 2023, we sat next to another mom and her teenage son. We smiled and laughed and cheered and high-fived along with 27,759 other fans as the A’s beat the Tampa Bay Rays 2-1 and fans chanted “SELL THE TEAM.”

It was a community in a time when we desperately need community. Now it’s gone because of one thing: greed. After owner John Fisher emailed a letter to A’s ticket holders—which included a TYPO in the third paragraph (“Loma Preita” instead of “Loma Prieta”), a MORTAL SIN as far as I’m concerned—ABC7 reporter Larry Beil went viral with a rant that I admire deeply. Sports writers united in condemning the move.

I didn’t buy an overpriced ticket to that final game on September 26, a Thursday afternoon. Our last A’s game was on August 17, right before we took C back to school. The A’s beat the San Francisco Giants 2-0. I’m glad I have that memory.

Part of me wishes I’d made the trek to the Oakland Coliseum one last time instead of watching that final game at home. (One obstacle: exorbitant ticket prices.) I would have had to go by myself—my son’s at college and my husband was at work.

But I wouldn’t have been alone.

Thank you, Oakland Coliseum. And thank you, Oakland Athletics (the players and coaches and grounds crew and stadium staff, not the ownership), for the memories you helped my family and so many others create.

1

Today I love Petco Park, and we try to go to games there whenever we’re in town.

2

The Chargers are another team that abandoned their town, so my family knows what I’m feeling.

3

Of course, there are many people who’ve been A’s fans for decades longer. People whose parents took them to games and who then took their own kids and grandkids. The ability to have that generational experience has ended.

So because I have an outsized fear of cluttering up people’s email inboxes, I’ve been trying to post only every two weeks or so (mostly “or so”), and certainly not the same week I send out my monthly author newsletter. But I HAVE BREAKING NEWS!

Yesterday I accepted an offer of representation from and Peter Knapp of Park & Fine Literary and Media. Yes, folks, I have a new agent.

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Insert all the ecstatic phrases here: overjoyed, thrilled, elated, moved, over the moon, delighted…you get the idea. I nearly wept when I saw what Stuti and Pete said when they re-posted my announcement on Twitter (I still can’t call it X):

I love the word “harebrained.” Love.

Obviously I’ll be reminding my husband and son frequently that a “powerhouse creative force” must be indulged her every whim. (My son is an 18-year-old college student who knows everything and my husband is my husband so I’ll let you know that goes.)

Something else that touched me: Pete and Stuti’s clients welcomed me in a DM thread and added me to their Discord server. Writers supporting writers! I love that my author community has expanded.

At some point, I’ll try to write something coherent about my querying “journey.” For now I’ll just say this: it’s a numbers game (I’ve sent out ~60 queries in the last 1.5 years, and was prepared to send out 100+ if that’s what it took). Persistence pays off.1 I worked with Stuti on two R&Rs (revise-and-resubmits) that truly made the story better in ways I couldn’t have imagined.

I see a lot of querying writers identify a “dream agent,” then become heartbroken if that person passes on their book. Well, someone once told me that a dream agent is the agent who loves your book and will advocate for it and your writing career. I agree 100%. She and Pete understand, on a deep level, what I’m trying to do with the book. I feel very, very lucky.

And now back to my semi-regularly scheduled programming. I’m planning to send out my monthly author newsletter—where I give you lists of what I’m watching, reading, and listening to, as well as events for writers and writers AND random just-trust-me links—later this week. You can subscribe here if you’re not already getting it.

1

I keep thinking about how my “journey” with infertility treatments prepared me for querying. No, seriously. After undergoing 11 rounds of IUI before conceiving my son, and then two rounds of IVF and several more rounds of IUI (I lost track) to try to have a second child, I got used to emotional roller coasters. A topic for another post. Maybe.

A selection of old typewriters at La Quina Montes Molina in Mérida.

As part of my research for my current novel, I traveled the Yucatán on a tour of ancient Maya sites led by the Archaeological Institute of America. You can read my last post about the trip here.

Sunday, January 21, 2024: Yes, we’re still in Mérida.

After lunch, we attempted once again to visit El Gran Museo del Mundo Maya. Alas, it was not to be. Not only had the museum closed for the governor’s state-of-the-state speech at the convention center next door—the staff had said “meh” to the hassle and closed the museum for the day.

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Our stalwart tour guide Alfonso immediately suggested Plan C: a visit to La Quinta Montes Molina Museum. It’s neoclassical mansion built on the Paseo de Montejo in 1902 and bought in 1915 by the Montes Molina family, which lived there for four generations. Alfonso assured us that we’d visit the museum the next morning on our way to Ek Balam and Chichén Itzá. (If you’re ever interested in touring the Yucatán, I highly recommend Alfonso and his company Ecoturismo Yucatán.)

La Quinta Montes Molina Museum, Mérida

The house is the only one of its kind in Mérida that’s been kept in its original state, with furniture from the Porfiriato and “Oro Verde” (Green Gold") henequén eras. In other words, it’s swank.

Here’s the dining room, with its beautiful stained glass windows and crazy elaborate chandelier that I would never be able to clean.

The dining room of La Quinta Montes Molina, Mérida.

And here’s a view of the study. Note the floor tiles—they’re patterned to resemble rugs, which would have been impractical in the Yucatán heat. I coveted this chess set, despite the fact that I suck at playing chess.

A crazy chess set in the study at La Quinta Montes Molina, Mérida. Note the cool (literally) tile floors.

But I coveted the antique Remington typewriter in the adjoining bedroom even more.

Me want this typewriter.

But wait! There were even more typewriters downstairs in the area where the staff worked, which you can see in the photo at the top of this post. Typewriter aficionado Tom Hanks would love this place. As he said in a 2017 interview, “What thrills me about typewriters is that they are meant to do one thing and one thing only.” Yup.

Yet another antique typewriter. I’m obsessed.

And for you architecture buffs—which, coming from a family with three generations of architects, I’m required to be—La Quinta Montes Molina isn’t just an old house. In 2015, Gustavo Carmona of architecture firm Materia designed a modern pavilion behind the house for social and cultural events. In 2016, the plan expanded to add a cultural center, which houses a cafe and a bookstore, two of my favorite things.

Left: The view from La Quinta Montes Molina looking through the pavilion to the cultural center. Right: Looking back to the house.

You can find much cooler pictures of the cultural center here and here.

We exited the house through the gift shop, as one does, where I was unable to resist adding to my massive collection of notebooks by buying this little handmade one from by Mayan Paper.

I’m a sucker for a cute notebook.

We headed back to the hotel for downtime, dinner, and a lecture on the ancient Maya by our AIA lecturer/host Dr. Jeff Karl Kowalski.

I’ll leave you with a selection of beautiful flower photos taken at La Quinta Montes Molina by my friend and fellow tour participant Helen, who has an eye for nature photos and is a much better photographer than I am.

And in the next post, I’ll show you some actual Mayan ruins! Promise.

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The Palacio Cantón, a Beaux Arts mansion that now houses the Museo Regional de Antropología de Yucatán in Merida. Photo credit: Me.

As part of my research for my current novel, I spent eight days in January visiting ancient Maya pyramids and temples in the Yucatán, on a tour led by the Archaeological Institute of America. You can read my first installment about the trip here.

Sunday, January 21, 2024: Mérida, continued.

After seeing the sights around Mérida’s Plaza Grande, our tour group clambered aboard our bus and headed to El Gran Museo del Mundo Maya. On our way, a convoy of SUVs sped by us. At the front was a pickup filled with uniformed soldiers, one of whom stood behind what looked to my untrained eye like a submachine gun.

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The sight of heavy weaponry should have been my first indication that the day wasn’t going to go as planned.

We arrived at the parking lot that the museum shares with the Siglo XXI Convention Center to find the entrance blocked. Our excellent tour guide Alfonso had a lively conversation with the parking attendants and then delivered the sad news: the museum was closed for the morning, because Yucatán governor Mauricio Vila Dosal was giving his “state of the state” address at the convention center. Hence the convoy.

Time for Plan B! Alfonso suggested we instead visit the Museo Regional de Antropología de Yucatán (Regional Anthropology Museum), which is housed in the Palacio Cantón, one of many grand houses built during the city’s henequen boom in the late 19th and and early 20th centuries. Sounded great to me.

We drove down the Paseo de Montejo, a beautiful wide boulevard modeled after the Champs Élysées in Paris. On Sunday, the city closes one side of the street to car traffic, so that morning the paseo was full of people riding bikes, rollerblading, strolling in groups, and hanging out in sidewalk cafés.1

Sunday cycling on the Paseo de Montejo in Mérida. The city closes one side of the boulevard each Sunday for a community bike ride called the Biciruta. Photo credit: Ian Peter Morton/Shutterstock.com.

I loved the whole vibe and MUST RETURN, because the idea of sitting in a café on a beautiful boulevard on a lazy Sunday, drinking coffee and watching people, is my idea of heaven.

At last we arrived at the museum. Since its completion in 1911, the building has served a few different purposes: first as a home for General Francisco Cantón Rosado and his family, then as an art school, and finally as the Museo Regional de Antropología de Yucatán. In 2012, after extensive renovations, Mexico’s Instituto Nacional de Antropologia e Historia (INAH) opened the current iteration of the museum, which focuses on Yucatàn and Mayan culture. Here are some pieces in the collection from the site of Ek’ Balam.

Now, as some of you know, Catherine (the main character in my current novel) is an expert in deciphering Maya glyphs, so I appreciated the museum’s exhibit labels, which explained the glyphs in depth and with helpful graphics. I love me a good infographic and would have totally geeked out on them if we hadn’t been on a schedule.

Of course, the labels were in Spanish, but I was that day years old when I discovered that my iPhone’s camera can translate text. Yay technology!

Here’s a limestone column from Ek’ Balam and Google’s translation of the sign.

Left: A limestone column from Ek’ Balam, covered with emblem glyphs. Right: A Google translation of the translation of the glyphs.

I also found this display of art conservation tools fascinating:

Another highlight of our visit was a special temporary exhibit, “La X’Tabay: El libro de los libros,” which displayed original sgraffito plates, sketches, and large-format digital prints from the silkscreen-printed and hand-bound graphic novel of the same name.

A collaboration between muralist Juana Alicia and author Tirso González Araiza, their work explores the Yucatec Mayan myth of X’Tabay, who’s often portrayed as a malevolent seductress, but who Alicia and Araiza depict as a figure of female empowerment.

A collage of images from Juana Alicia and Tirso González Araiza’s graphic novel La X’Tabay. El libro de los libros ("The X’Tabay. The Book of Books”) at the Palacio Cantón. See if you can find the NC-17 print.

I walked up the museum’s magnificent marble staircase to see “Palenque: 200 Anos de Descubrimientos” (“Palenque: 200 Years of Discoveries”), a temporary exhibit on the second floor. Palenque, in the state of Chiapas, is another archaeological site on my bucket list.

Some artifacts from the Palacio Cantón's Palenque exhibit: A stone relief; stucco glyphs; two terracotta censer bases; a jade mask. My limited photography skills don't do them justice.

With that, it was time for an early lunch at an excellent seafood restaurant, La Pigua, where I had sea bass with mushrooms and discovered that one of my fellow tour group participants was—despite being a New Yorker—also a fan of my beloved and soon-to-depart-Oakland Athletics (insert despondent wail here). Afterwards, we piled back into the bus for our second attempt to visit El Gran Museo del Mundo Maya.

I mentally crossed my fingers. Even though by this point we were well fed, and some members of our group had enjoyed a few beers over lunch, I sensed some antsiness. The Palacio Cantón had only partially whetted our appetite for art and culture. Surely El Gran Museo would be open by now!

To be continued…

1

A community bike ride known as Biciruta takes place on the Paseo de Montejo every Sunday from 7 a.m. to noon. I heartily approve.