Sara Allen's Blog

This time last year, I was sitting here watching my children go off to college and school, one of my daughters was hunting for a university place to apply for… a kind of getting ready for the future. Another was contemplating whether to continue on with her courses and get the final qualification. Everyone was engaged, doing things… while I was just the mother.

I’d raised them, sacrificed my time, my energy, my love and more than that, my freedom. I did it because I have an obligation to them. An obligation that means I can’t allow them to fend for themselves. I’m supposed to fight for them, make sure they get the best of everything… that they push themselves as far as they can go, and that they turn out to be decent human beings who consider their actions before they make them. I hope I succeeded, but I’d be biased if I said they’re all great.

Anyway, I was left with nothing, and no one to nurture. I think as a mother, that realisation can come as a bit of a shock. One day you’re elbows deep in dirty diapers, and then next you’re watching them rush through the door with a goodbye thrown over their shoulders as though you’re the last thought on their mind. It’s disturbing.

What was I going to do with those long days, where I didn’t have to run around and grab infants from school or nursery… even my grandson has grown enough that he’s starting full time school! He doesn’t need me either!

Armed with all this freedom, I decided to go back to university. (Oh the horror!) What was I going to do with the opportunity of going back into learning. I’m a fifty-five year old woman, cranky as hell, had enough time to grow an opinionated mindset, and a mouth that isn’t afraid of telling people exactly what I think of them. What will I do when faced with a bunch of snotty young adults still flexing their ‘ormonal mussels? (typo intentional)

I completed my degree in 1999… exactly twenty years ago. I was awarded a BA (Hons.) in Art and Archaeology. My focus was on the Middle East and Islamic art and literature. The archaeology of Muslim Spain intrigued me so much that it has stayed with me even now. One of my books came about as a small archaeological insight from this time. But, I didn’t want to go into this field, or museum management either, which is one of the pathways open, and despite loving the museum and gallery environment, there’s not a chance in hell that I’d go into that.

So what were my options?

After four years writing, authoring, releasing books and growing in confidence, I wondered if it would be possible for me to continue my studies in this field. I wasn’t a graduate of english, creative writing or even literature, all I knew how to do was weave a story. I wondered if a University would accept me onto the program when I felt I would be so far behind other recent graduates who would be better suited to the same course. And further, what avenue of study would help me most, because… come on, what’s the point of doing it if there was no end goal, right?

I kept seeing adverts for an MA program in Creative Writing and Publishing at Lincoln University, but they were for distance learning, and I did not want to study alone. (yeah yeah, I know you’re not alone, alone…) But I wanted to go into a classroom, get out of the house that I was no longer tied to, and meet real people. So, I looked in London for the same course, and found it offered at two… yes TWO, universities. I’m talking about this particular course, because there are many more that offer creative writing with a mix, available in London.

I met the criteria, I had the determination, and I was just crazy enough to give it a try.

I wrote my statement, picked three or four pieces of unedited, unfinished work across genres from my half finished works in progress, and I crossed my fingers and pressed send.

A tip for anyone who may also do this. Check the files that you send actually open. Mine did not. Being a ninny, I was using Pages and not Word, and instead of exporting the documents in word format, I just changed the tag… (do not ever do this) and sent them. I applied to City University in London, and Kingston.

City university got back to me within a week and told me that the course was full, and hoped I had luck finding a place. Kingston got back to me and requested I re-upload my application because they weren’t able to read the files. Something fishy you may ask… yeah… I did too. I re-did the documents, exported them properly, and resent them.

Because of the rejection from City, I began looking elsewhere, and at other programs. I applied to Goldsmiths, and knowing how hard it is to get into, I poured my heart into my personal statement. The program was different, therefore, the statement and the samples of work also needed to be different. I looked at other Universities, but I wasn’t impressed. When you have your mind set on a course of action, everything else just pales in comparison. Even though I was intrigued by the program at Goldsmiths, it wasn’t my first choice.

Three weeks, (I think it was two) later, I got an unconditional offer from Kingston on the program of my choice. I must be dreaming, right? I had to be dreaming! They accepted me and I was over the moon with joy! Then a week later, after I’d accepted the place, I was asked to come into Goldsmiths for an interview and to meet the course director! (screams) What do I do? I’d already accepted the place I wanted.. hadn’t I? But the thought of studying at Goldsmiths was such a rush, so overwhelming, that I was on the fence for a while.

I start my MA program later this month. I’m a life-long learner, a serial learner. I enjoy the process of learning something new, of gaining new insights and pushing myself. I’m an adult learner, returning to study after so many years. I have many worries about whether I’ll be able to keep up, whether my views and opinions will be too much, as well as whether I won’t want to change my mind after fifteen minutes and realise what a huge mistake I’ve made!

I want to journal my experiences during this time. Not only because of the program and the prospects this offers me, but also because my circumstances are so different from when I studied for my undergraduate program. I know I’m going to be a changed person at the end of this, and I feel this need to keep track of where my mind was when I began, so I know who I was, and what I’ve become. I hope you’ll follow along on my monthly out-pouring’s, as I talk about first days, financing an MA program and the work, experiences and people I’ll meet.

Adieu… for now!!!

I’ve always been a huge fantasy and sci-fi reader. Those earliest stories I read were based on fantastical themes; Red Riding Hood, Rumplestiltskin, Alice In Wonderland, and so many more that I can’t remember their names, yet the stories have stayed with me.

It was only natural that I write my own, and I have so many, so so many. The inspiration came so easy, and has been surprisingly prolific, that I had to find a separate place to put them. Which I did about two years ago. I made a page just for my wild mind out-pouring’s, and went with the flow. But, I feel that I’ve neglected that side of myself for so long, that I brought the whole site here, (I mean that in every sense of the word) which will give me the possibility of updating as much as I can, as often as I can.

I’m also going to share those blog posts that I made there.. which aren’t as many as it should be, but whatever !!! So here goes…

What Could It Mean When Someone Says They’re Inspired?

Originally posted August 29, 2017 (site now archived)

As a fantasy writer, the things that inspire you can be so different. A cartoon drawing of a weird creature; a photo of a light through a pool of water in a street, or even a note on the back of an old envelope.

There’s something very satisfying about writing fantasy. The lack of restrictions to your imagination and the freedom from limitations, allows your mind to be free to create whatever you like, within reason.

Being able to write fantasy hasn’t been an easy road. From the niggling self-doubt to the glaring inadequacies that can be felt when looking at the likes of long time fantasy writers; Stephen Donaldson, Robert Heinlein, Robin Hobb, and even more contemporary fantasy writers like, Brandon Sanderson, Neil Gaiman and Peter Brett, who seem to have it all worked out and are able to throw together their constructed worlds in a flurry of fire and brimstone.

But, I’ve decided that there’s no point in trying to emulate anyone, and to tread that Yellow Brick Road all by myself. And it seems that that’s what I needed to do. To step away from all the pressure of “being as good as they are” and just be myself.

You can find some of those, ‘Myself’ writings on the project page attached to this website. Drop me a line, let me know what you think. Perhaps I may have inspired you to step away from the giants and be the little man for a change.

Until next time…

I’ve been thinking about this for a long time, and wondering just how I’m going to achieve it…

What is ‘it’, you ask yourself. It, is the thing I have been struggling with for eons. Centuries of strife to up my… Productivity! Yes, Productivity is the It. That elusive, endangered state that I keep on missing. That state of being that will allow me to produce a body of work on a daily basis, that I’ll be happy with.

But, I think I have discovered my problem. It’s not that there’s no willpower, or that the state of mind isn’t there, its my locations. My daily situation where I wake every morning, move from my bed to my desk, and … nothing! Well, not exactly nothing, but not as much as I know I can do.

I’ve decided that I need to take my office out of the house, away o’er yonder and find a space where I feel comfortable. So I can work for three to four hours, grab a coffee and soak up some atmosphere. My home office, has no atmosphere, no drive to produce work and be active. My office is driving me mad!

Co-working spaces popped up a few years ago, giving the opportunity for individuals who need a space to work, meet and connect, the chance to do so. They offer a variety of options; day passes, monthly workspace options, and offices, meeting rooms and more. At first glance they seem like a viable option if you need some quiet space with an ‘office-y’ feel to it. But what’s the drawbacks for someone like me, with limited funds to spend on ‘office-y feeling space’ while working on a tight budget?

I think in this case, the local library with its free, quiet space and ample books, or Costa/Starbucks with its coffee and snacks within walking distance, if not the quiet atmosphere, might be more up my street. But the chance to try out a co-working space looks like something I’m eager to sink my teeth into. Even if it is for a trial, and not long term.

In terms of changing pace or space, the goal is inevitably, to up production, feel like I’m getting somewhere, and make this ‘New Year/New Me’ actually mean something. I have no idea how other’s manage to remain focused, but I know this is something I’m struggling with. Distractions, family, that load of washing that’s been sitting there. that new recipe I just have to try. Oh… is that a sunbeam… (mind wanders for a whole hour), et al!

Yes, I believe that a change of pace, space and situation are definitely in order. I have too many goals I’ve set myself for 2020, to debate whether I should sort out this problem, to continue.. in this problem. I believe in giving everything a try.. at least once. Therefore, I’m going to give it a three month trial, and see if getting out there, up’s my production or not. I won’t be able to say I tried and failed, if I never try.

Namaste

Wow, 2019… it was a blast! Thanks for putting me through the wringer and sending me out again, changed, broken… renewed?

So much has changed over the last year, that sometimes when I look in the mirror, I’m not even sure its the same person looking back. I made some mistakes, who doesn’t? I also made some gains, and I will pump my fist to those success’s as though I won the Super Bowl, and climbed Everest, because in my book, I did that and more.

But this year; this coming year, will be a time of reflection. I’m forcing myself to look within, make changes, and go for what I need. Notice I say ‘need‘ and not ‘want‘, because I have found that my wants are not always in line with my needs, and the desire to be transparent with myself is necessary.

This December will see a change that only happens once every ten years, a new decade!

I feel as though I’ve missed so much, until I look back and see the changes. My children have all become young adults… all except the last. But he’s fast becoming a young man, who two years ago still had a squeaky voice! My daughters have become young women; strivers, movers and determined to make the most of what is on offer. I applaud them for that, and I hope to be around to see them achieve their goals.

In reflection, I see how many people I’ve lost in the last decade, and how I almost lost myself. My biggest loss was my mother. Despite her advanced age and medical conditions; that I’m no longer able to sit with her, converse with her, hug and kiss her when I want, that’s a deep loss that still brings tears to my eyes. I lost another sibling, and that also stings. But I remind myself, daily, that this is life, and part of life is death.

And looking forward – wow, what can I say! I’ve never been a person who thinks that speaking their future will bring it closer. I’m more of a quiet mover, allowing my life to meander where it will, with a touch of firm direction. I have a few goals of my own, and knowing that I can still dream about a future for myself, is enough of an achievement in itself.

So, I’ll say this. No matter if I didn’t achieve everything I set out to do this year, I did one thing: I survived. I kept my seat, kept my sanity, and kept my head, when so many didn’t make it. I feel a pang at their loss, and hold my hand up in salute to their efforts; you did good, rest easy now. And for those out there still striving; Head up, eyes on the goal, and keep it moving. Only look back to remind yourself of what you are leaving behind, and not to reminisce about what you lost. Those losses make way for greater gains. Believe that.

2020… Here we come!!!

I think my last post was a year ago, maybe more. So much has happened and so many things have kept me away from writing my thoughts here that I almost forgot these pages exist.

I moved house… country… finally let go of a damaging, draining relationship, and almost fell into another. Funny how we don’t see the signs of what we threw away, and almost fell face-first into again. I’m glad I realised what was happening and prevented it. Never allow another person to dictate your needs, that what I learnt and that’s what I will stick by for as long as I can remember.

I have a new drive, new goals, new issues to concern myself with. New stories.. of course, one of which I’m hoping to get out before the end of the year. I also took a big step and removed three titles, which I hope to revise and put back out there. They’ll have new covers, and new paths, just like I’m doing for myself.

I saw a picture the other day, and it reminded me of something. (It’s heading picture) That no matter how much we loved what we held onto, there comes a time when it’s necessary for us to let it go. Just as the seasons turn, so our life changes without us even realising it.

Namaste!

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I often wonder as a freelancer and a proud member of the self-motivated, who I should be accountable to?

I mean, in all honesty, I have no one to be accountable to, except myself of course. But is that enough? Shouldn’t I want to have someone to be accountable to?

When we work for someone else, we’re constantly striving to shove our responsibility aside and hide from the dreaded boss, supervisor or nosey tell-tale that sits opposite.  We want nothing more than to take a walk and find a hole to hide in, just so we can avoid being accountable.

As an author, the people I feel I should be accountable to is the readers, the publisher, maybe even the editor, but most definitely, to myself. If a tweet message or promo post isn’t placed, who do I turn to to blame? If I haven’t written those words on the page, and revised, reviewed and polished, who am I going to point the sticky finger of blame at? I know it! And its the answer to that question, which makes me wonder why (sometimes) I took this journey on.

It’s a very steep path most days, and a slippery slide on others. But when it comes together, the results and elation are without equal.

So, as I’m being accountable to myself, I have to do a few things. The first is give the readers what they have been asking for, for a long, long time now. The finale to We All Fall Down. This is a piece of work that has been in hand for over a year, it’s been finished for more than six months, and I’m still in the revision stage, albeit, further along than I was a couple of months ago.

Besides all the excuses and what not, what I am going to do, is put a page up, and post snippets from finished chapters in there. This is not to tease and whet the appetite… well, it is to do that, but it’s also to show accountability. It’s a way to say, “I owe you, and thank you for waiting so long.”

The next rung on the accountability ladder, is finding a cover for this release. I hope I don’t have as much trouble with it, as I’m having with another release… I can only hope.

So follow the link, and get reacquainted with Val and Pete. Hopefully we can get to the end of WADF before the end of the year.

Take me to We All Fall Down Finale: Here

Its been a while, as always, the pace of life gets the better of me and I seem to fall away from my page, if not from other things.

I have been writing furiously… if thats even a thing, and I have a few new projects that are coming in the very near future. The only delay is in time and opportunity, and not in having finished work. Which, I suppose, is a bonus.

I’m still getting requests for the finale of We All Fall Down, and trust me, no one wants it finished more than me. Its there, just waiting to fall into the production line. Hopefully, I can say within the next three months, but I don’t want to make any promises…

In the meantime, I do have a very special project coming up, and a new direction for me. Although, to be honest, I think my projects would have gone along these lines anyway.

My next release, which will be published by Inspired Minds Editions, is a cyberpunk romance featuring a very special couple. I’d like you to meet them, and also to ask you to look out for other titles coming in the near future from Inspired Minds Editions. So, without further ado, Welcome, Jenna and Max.

[image error]

Synopsis – My Cyborg

A lonely woman discovers her rock solid foundations may crumble under the weight of deceit and betrayal. That the people she trusted the most, were actually those she should have been wary of.

Jenna Asari, a research technician for an exclusive government institution, is tasked with investigating rumours of illegal technology development. Those whispers debated in near-empty changing rooms, she finds are frighteningly true. And worse yet, she encounters a discarded specimen in an abandoned research facility. A place that to all appearances, should be nothing more than a derelict building.

Tucked away many levels beneath the ground, a secret will be revealed that will shake her sense of self. There she’ll make a discovery into a painful past she’d thought had been laid to rest.

Jenna must come to terms with loving the unlovable, and learn to let the past stay where it should.

A little bit of a teaser… from their first meeting.

“Don’t get your panties in a twist,” he said, crossing his arms over a wide chest, assured and relaxed.

I wasn’t buying it. “What have you done?”

He looked uncomfortable for a few seconds before he uncrossed his arms and took a step back. “I went back to your car and called a mate of mine to tow it to a garage.”

“How much?” I asked, holding my forehead in the palm of my hand.

“What?”

“How much is this going to cost me?” I clarified. “No one does anything for nothing, so how much is this going to cost?”

He smiled, easy. “Lunch.”

“What?” I couldn’t help thinking he was mad or had a problem. I looked up at the sky, the afternoon waning. “You realise lunch is officially over, right?”

“I was thinking about lunch tomorrow,” he replied, “but I can do dinner today, if you prefer?”

“I’m not going anywhere with you,” I surveyed him from top to bottom. His leather jacket had seen better days and the biker boots were scuffed and well worn. Plus, I’d sworn an oath I wasn’t getting back on that bike again.

The smile dropped off his face. “There’s no need to sound so offended.”

To Be Continued….

Follow me at InspiredMindsEditions.Wordpress.com 

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It’s the new year and I’ve realised something: The importance of having a muse.

You may ask, what does a muse have to do with a fiction writer? and I’ll have to tell you everything. Literary Muses

Many famous artists and literary persons throughout the years have had muses, either good or bad, but the one thing they have in common is the inspiration they give to those who hold them in Thrall.

Gustav Klimt’s famous muse, Emilie Floge was central to a lot of Klimt’s paintings and features in many, seen and unseen. As was Dora Maar, the muse of Pablo Picasso, and figure behind The Weeping Woman and Guernica. Some muses have inspired more than one artist, at the same time, such as Data Diakonova, who was married to the surrealist poet Paul Eluard and having an affair with Max Ernst at the same time, and later married Salvador Dali who later became her husband.

Although, not every muse has been a lover or partner, some have been confidantes, friends and even parents. Famous Artists muses.

And it should be noted that not everyone should be a muse, or that every creative should have such a thing, but for some of us, the chance to bounce ideas off of someone totally unrelated to the work your struggling with, can be an avenue into untapped paths.

Being able to throw ideas at someone and have them returned in a new light was essential to my latest project, My Cyborg (working title), the premise of which had evaded me for a long time. Just by discussing the idea, a whole avenue opened up which enabled me to incorporate a lot of the elements that have become important to me. I won’t say that person was/is my muse, but being able to discuss ideas is essential to creating new art.

So, get out there, find your muse, if you need one, or avoid them like the plague, if you don’t. But never ignore the importance of a muse!

[image error]“Wealthy Warlord”, illustrated by @masterchew  IM TAGGING THE ARTIST WHEN REPOSTING THIS ART ON MY PAGE #nubiamancy#warlord#futuristic#futuristicfashion#futurist#cyborg#afrique#artificialintelligence#villains#afrika#afrikan#scifi#scifiart#sciencefiction#sciencefictionart#afrofuturism#africa#africans#robot#robots#robotics#robotic#robotica#africanart#blackart#dopeart#ailurofunk#villain

It’s that time of year again, when we look back over the past year and kick ourselves!!!

We’re happy to kick ourselves for all the goals we failed to accomplish. Overjoyed to berate ourselves for our inane failings. And too quick to belittle our minimal successes, no matter how small.

So, as I did last year, and probably will continue to do every year (creature of habit over here!) I am going to set a few goals for myself. But this year, with a difference. My goals will not be pipe dreams, impossible tasks and Missions Impossible that Tom Cruise will not assist me with.

No, this year I am going to continue the goals I’d set for myself last year, because I now know what I really need to do to accomplish and meet those goals. And I know that I can strive for my goals, because I spent the last year preparing my mind and subconscious to succeed. Preparation is everything!!!

Next year, I have a few books that I need to get finished, not because they aren’t written, But because they’ve been sitting here waiting for me to pull my finger out of the damn and let the flood commence!!

So, what can be expected from me for 2018.

[image error]My Cyborg : Afro-Futurism 

My Cyborg. A story of the love that exists between a woman and a machine.

Man In Chains. A Boxer, fighting not just for recognition but a love that supports him too.

The Map Room. A YA fantasy series, of which the first part will be available in 2018.

As well as the Sequel to We All Fall Down, which is currently in review before I send it off to my publisher, for her to weep that I don’t know how to write!!! (She doesn’t really, but that’s what I feel like when I get edits back!!)

And…. A whole bushel of other stories that are half written or currently under review. I will also be publishing under my alternate pen name, and with Inspired Minds Editions. These will be all my Sci-fi/fantasy/Afro-cyber punk/ afro-futuristic reads that I can’t wait to share with all of you. I hope you love them as much as I do.

Check out the website of Inspired Minds here.

So, have a pleasant end of year, a safe entry for the new one, and see you on the other side!!!

Peace out…