D.L. Gabriel's Blog

No matter what distractions I encounter, I always come back to the same things.

In my work and career, there've been so many alternatives knocking at my door and I've answered to so many of them. Web based businesses, MLMs, alternative career paths, and alternatives in writing. Because, face it, we need to pay the bills, right? 

The problem is that I never find the success and fulfilment that I'm looking for (I'm obviously looking in the wrong places!). 

Then a couple months ago, I sat down and shortened my list. The list of things on my plate (work wise) to just the things I WANT to be doing. The things I enjoy and will put the time into. Those things that I can consider mastering.

Here's my list: Writing fiction, Painting.

That's it. 

So everything else fighting for space in my life has to take a back seat to these two very fundamental things. And if that means suffering through the bill-paying gigs to get there, so be it. It makes no sense chasing money so that I can have some unpromised future time to work on my passions. I might as well do what I care about now and ditch the rest.

God, family and bill-paying gigs will remain where they are, of course. But the distractions can take a hike.

I've always been an over thinker. I suppose it's useful when you're trying to figure out the details of a story... to an extent. But most times, it keeps me paralyzed. Figuring out what I SHOULD be doing before even making a single step.

I live from lists. Lists help my colander brain to remember (definition of colander brain: brain with many holes through which important stuff to do escapes, also known as "mommy brain", "absent mindedness" and "default excuse for escaping boring duties").

Sometimes, though, lists turn into an anchor. I've written it down, so as far as I'm concerned, I did something. The fact that nothing on the list is getting done can either weigh me down or alleviate some of the guilt about not doing anything. It all depends on my mood.

Ultimately, though, the only way to make anything count in your life is to do something. Sometimes during a movie it will occur to me that the adventures and successes of the characters (and of the actors and production crew) all happened because they're DOING stuff. Not sitting down thinking about it or looking at other people do stuff. 

How many movie characters are spending hours on Facebook? If it's part of the story, we don't see it. We'll see the rest of the story where they're doing something (like running from other Zombies who spend hours on Facebook). 
 
Whenever I find myself sinking into despair, the one thing that consistently pulls me out is doing something. Focusing on a story or a painting, or something as simple as making phone calls for work will take me out of my head and put me into the world where something is actually happening.

So my aim, folks, is to do more and think less. Or at least let my thinking serve the things I'm doing. Rather than just sitting pondering what I SHOULD be doing. 

And in ten years (or less) we'll see how many books I've written and how many readers I've served. Hopefully you'll be with me for that journey until the final credits roll. 

I have lived most of my life afraid of one thing more than the rest: putting myself out there. Being exposed. Having people know me. Afraid that they'll realize that there's something inherently "wrong" with me. I'm sure many psychologists out there would be able to analyze the whys and then suggest the how-to-fixes, but very little of that helps when you're in the moment, facing that ugly creature Fear,  while being tormented by its companion, Doubt.

I came across another writer's blog on fear and it's so perfect, I just have to post the link here . It's written by Tim Grahl, who works with other authors to launch them to success. He's the marketing guy for authors, so to speak. Anyway, it reminded me that I'm not alone. Especially when he described one of my fears before I even realized I had it: fear that people would read my work and hate it... probably bigger than the fear of no one reading it.

I've heard somewhere that the one thing that you're afraid of doing the most is the one thing that's probably keeping you from success (sorry I can't remember who said it). So I mustered up the courage... scratch that... I was shaking the whole time. I acted while afraid. I posted a link to my book on Facebook, where people who know me could see it. And in some ways it's scarier to show my work to people I know, because they'll still know me after and I can't hide from them if my writing turns out to... you know, suck. So even though I was in a cold sweat, I posted my link on Facebook. And, guess what? I'm still alive. People I know downloaded my book. And no one pointed an accusatory finger at me to say that I wasted their time with the trash I wrote.

I think the biggest lesson here is that taking action, even when you feel the fear, is the only way to make a step forward. Waiting for the fear to go away, trying to talk yourself out of it, expecting that you'll no longer be afraid... these things will keep you paralyzed. You almost have to find a way to enjoy the fear, like an adrenaline junkie thriving on the thrill. Maybe that was an exaggeration... and maybe it won't work. But I plan to test it out. Starting when I hit that "Publish" button for this post.

I figured out why writers want to get paid for their writing.

I figured it out when, for the first time, I had that "I-can't-wait-for-Monday" feeling. And just so you know, it's real, that feeling. It comes when we spend our days playing. Like my children refusing to put on their coats because their hands are too busy playing to put their arms in the sleeves. If you hate Mondays I think it's probably because you're constantly putting down your toys to put on your coat, all day every day. It seems like you're doing nothing but putting on your coat, and taking it off to put it right back on again. You're probably not even getting to play outside. I mean as adults, we'll have to put on our coats (i.e. do something mundane and outside our play-time). But if we know it's for us to go outside and play then it won't be so... crappy.

So back to my epiphany. Writers want to get paid to write so they can write some more. Artists, musicians, sculptors... want to do it all the time (I'm focused on these because so many people think the arts should be free, or that creative-types should not get paid). If money is flowing to the phone company, the bank for your mortgage, and wherever else money has to flow, then we can spend our days being artists, and writers and sculptors. We probably won't even care for the Porsche, or Ferrari or mansion, cuz we'll be too busy playing.

And there's another big reason. When people pay to read our stuff, it means that we're reaching them. Because, face it, readers have bills to pay. And when a reader has a choice, he'll spend money on things he loves. So when someone spends money on a writer's novel, for instance, it usually means that the writer did something that matters.

So for the writers out there (or artists, or musicians, or anyone for that matter): Chase that "I-can't-wait-for-Monday" feeling. It's real. And it's a sign you're following your purpose. (I'm not saying quit your job now and starve until you make it, but definitely work towards the day when your "job" is your playtime).

For the readers out there, because I started this post about writing, thank you for investing your time and money to read the stuff we put out there. You make it all worthwhile.