Barbara Neville's Blog - Posts Tagged "mystery"

***SPOILERS***
This review contains spoilers!
[Following is the official OnlineBookClub.org review of "On the Rocks" by Barbara Neville.]

On the Rocks is a space Western set in an intriguing future. The greatest strength of this book is its narrator, Roxanne Rockefeller, a profane, feisty cowgirl. Neville has created a genuinely fresh and well-developed character in Roxanne, a young woman who rides out in her best riding finery, complete with guns, a knife… and grenades.

Early in the book, when it seems that Roxanne is a bit too prone to swearing (take a guess at which cuss word is repeated as the first seven words of the book!), Roxanne gives a spirited defense of her filthy mouth, which both humorously justifies her style of talking, while adding depth to her character. I would have thoroughly enjoyed it if the novel were all about Roxanne rambling about the state of the world and her opinions on everything, but as it stands, On the Rocks launches into a page-turning adventure, although some passages are confusing and I had to reread some chapters where certain events seemed to be worded in too vague a manner.

Neville’s wild frontier is set in what is probably the future, where the world outside of the free wilderness is ruled by a seemingly benevolent but truly manipulative government, where history is heavily edited to fit the regime’s agendas, and selling meat is profitable business on planets where people are compelled to be vegetarians. There are numerous elements of this fictional universe that remind me of one of my all-time favorite television series, Firefly, and this book can be strongly recommended to fans of the Firefly/Serenity universe.

Unfortunately, this futuristic setting is a bit more sparsely described than I would have liked– it would have helped if Neville fleshed out her fictional world’s mythology a bit more to show a bit more about its development. If On the Rocks is meant to be the start of a series, then I retract that criticism, since future books might by necessity expand upon Neville’s involving fictional world.

Over the course of this book, Roxanne explores, and meets a variety of people with diverse backgrounds, but these characters are united by their shared genuine love for the cowboy lifestyle. The great joy of this book is watching these characters go about their travels, interact, converse, and reflect upon what they want from life.

I give this book three out of four stars.

Proposed chapter 1 of Book 8 "Broken Warrior":
“What?”
I just sat up. Jolted out of sleep, fast, scared. The blankets are tangled around me. I look around. It’s gone.
There’s someone sitting on the couch, they’re facing the other way, toward a big window. The back of their head seems fuzzy.
“Nightmare, babe?”
He’s looking over his shoulder, across the back of the couch, at me.
“It was a bear,” I say, rubbing my eyes to get rid of the fuzziness of sleep. “He walked over to me, then stood on his hind legs. He put his paws on my shoulders. His paws, the claws were huge.”
“Grizzly,” he says, nodding.
I stop to breathe. It’s still playing in my head. Real. I take a breath.
“Then, he leaned his head in toward me, like he was gonna kiss me, but he had those hairy bear lips. How can you kiss that?”
He chuckles.
I shake my head to get the cobwebs out. It hurts. I pick up the flask and have a jolt, for the pain.
“Anyway,” I say, “as he got close, he opened his mouth. It was huge, like my whole head would fit inside.
“He turned his head and I realized he wasn’t a grizzly. He was covered in scales, they rippled, refracting the light in a million colors. He was a velociraptor.”
“Shit,” he says. “Them again?”
I hold my hands up shoulder width apart, showing how big.
“His head was like this,” I say, “His teeth were huge, like scimitars. I turned my head and saw his dinosaur hands on my shoulders. I looked back and forth. He had three fingers. Three on each hand with huge ivory claws. He leaned closer, all I could see was his gaping mouth and pointy tongue. His huge teeth were closing over my face. And his claws were sinking into my shoulders. Blood was oozing out.”
I stop to catch my breath, scared by the telling of it.
“Then, I woke up.”
“Wow,” he says, standing up. “You need a hug.”
I see his claws and scream.
“It’s okay, babe,” he says. “I’m here.”
He’s walking closer.
“Stay away,” I say.
He looks confused.
“Oh,” he says, raising the claws. “Dro….”
It’s garbled, I don’t understand.
“What?” I’m looking around. I don’t see a way out. “Fuck. It’s me or them.”
“Babe,” he says. “It was just a dream.”
He’s still walking toward me, wild hair floating around his head. He’s huge and naked. His multicolor scales gleam in the light streaming in through the window. His forearms are covered in black feathers.
He reaches out with those claws. I put my hands on the bed under me and shift backwards, as fast as I can. My back hits the headboard. I look to both sides. He’s too close, I can’t escape.
He tilts his head, his iridescent scales rippling with the movement. When he breathes, flames shoot out of his mouth and nose.
He looks down, then up, and says, “Wait, you’re joking, right?”
I open my mouth, but no noise comes out. A silent scream.
“No, babe, it’s okay,” he says, looking down again. Moving his claws behind his back.
But, I know. I already saw them. He’s a shape shifter. Grizzly, dinosaur, man.
I scream and scream again. I pull the covers over my head and curl in a ball. I’m telling myself; stay still, maybe he can only see movement.
I hear his breathing, imagining the fire. I hear him grunt and turn. I hear the noise as he softly pads away.
It gets quiet. I stay there, hidden in the covers. I’m scared for so long, it’s exhausting.
***
I wake up. My bladder is about to burst. I have to leave the comfort of my blanket cave.
I open my eyes and peek out. He’s gone. No bear, no velociraptor. Which was it? Both, only the one, but he was both.
I get up, piss and find my clothes. I shower off the sweat of the dream. The hot water washes it all away. I dry off, wiping my breasts and my long legs, enjoying my lithe body. I check it out in the full length mirror. It looks strong.
I go out into the big room again. The bed is beyond the dark leather couch, against the far wall. The kitchen is closer, tucked into an alcove, with a square dining table between it and the couch. There’s a pool table and a drawing board off to the left.
The view out the big window is of sand and pounding surf. There’s a tide pool with a patient heron, standing stock still, fishing in it.
I sit on the couch and look out. Watching the surf, and wondering. There’s an open book laying on the end table. I feel disoriented. Nothing seems real. Where am I?
 

The latest book is available now for preorder on Amazon. http://www.amazon.com/Broken-Warrior-...
It is 99 cents now, will go up to $2.99 or $3.99 on May 5th, when it comes out. All preorders will be 99 cents.
Ebook format only at the moment. Paperback coming soon. I am working in a few last minute inspirations.
The book is now #4 in Hot New Releases, Western Science Fiction, #5 in Travel Adventure Fiction [and , wow, just above a Stone Barrington (Stuart Woods). That won't last.] It's #28 in Women's Adventure. All Hot New Release lists. Anyhow, we'll see if high placement, however transitory, helps sales.

I like a lot of dialogue in books.When I read the first page of a novel, that is what I look for, snappy dialogue. A born smartass, I look for friends who insult each other with regularity, like Spenser and Hawk (Robert B. Parker/Ace Atkins). Or Stone Barrington and Dino Bacchetti (Stuart Woods). How about Peabody and Emerson (Elizabeth Peters)? Now, there's a dynamic duo. I read those to my kids. And still read the new ones myself. Great works.
There's a difference between the three. Two are written in first person. Amelia Peabody and Spenser show us an engaging world seen through their eyes. Whereas, Stone Barrington, while written from his point of view, is third person. I love all three series, but the first person is me. I like the personal touch that only the "I" can give me. As much as I swallow up every book in the Stone Barrington series, I miss that special first person view.
Another good one is Stephanie Plum and Lula (Janet Evanovich). I love this pair of nutty bounty hunters. Once again, we have Stephanie telling us her story. It's much more personal. Of course, all five (to give Ace Atkins his due, he is the heir to the Spenser novels and doing a bang up job) do a top notch job of all the rest. Which we mustn't forget. Atmosphere, scenery, the five senses. And research, they call it fiction, but a great writer sets their fiction in reality. The tiniest detail can throw a knowledgeable reader off their game. It's an entire world we're creating. I usually get my dialogue first, then go back and fill out the location feel, look, sounds and smells. And, please get your plants right. I was at a winery recently where some out of town tasters were waxing on about the smell of sage in the local wine. Uh oh. Yes we're in a desert here, but not the Great Basin Desert. No sagebrush. The power of suggested misinformation (Desert=Sagebrush) ruled their noses. And, of course, different plant types live at different elevations. Author beware!

Reinterpreting relationships. The new big thing on TV is throuples and three ways. A throuple is three people in a (traditionally couples-two people- in a relationship). Aka polyamory. It's a redefinition, not new, of marriage. Robert Heinlein, in "Stranger in a Strange Land", was my first introduction to the beast. I don't mean it in a bad way, big fan in fact.
Recently, someone coined the term 'throuple', I heard it on "You Me Her" (Audience network) and had to run with it. I saw a teaser for another show, whose name slips my mind, for a threesome. Or talk of one. Talk's cheap. So, in order to define the relationship for the situation that Annie, in my books, has with her men, I had to expand throuple beyond three. Fourple and quadouple (yikes) aren't enough. Quouple? Quiple? In plain English, there's five of them. How about quintouple? Or drop the 'O', for quintuple. All five get along fine, so far. It's fiction...or maybe not. And Annie is loving it! Comments?

I write in first person, because that's what I prefer to read. But some of my other characters cry out to be heard. Sure they can speak in dialogue. But some, like Ma'cho, seldom speak. We only see him through the protagonist's (Cha'a) eyes. And, while Ma'cho seldom speaks, he thinks in broad strokes. In Hell to Pay he added a new point of view (POV) to the book. I especially liked where he described Cha'a. He has a much deeper passion, a passion that Cha'a herself doesn't realize exists. And, he sees her very differently than she sees herself.
My favorite POV, though, is the antagonists. I use tiny slices. Simple peeks into their progress throughout a book, to add suspense. And to make them more three dimensional, usually through thought, because, in the last couple of books the bad guys (if that's what they are, my good guys aren't white knights either) work alone. And most of the time are out in the wilderness tracking my horseback Apache main characters. There's literally no one to talk to but themselves.
I don't know where I first ran into this technique, but I have seen it in James Patterson's work or co-writings. And done very well.
And, of course, this gives one the ability to include scenes where the main character isn't present. This can add dimension to the plot. And provide important back story or side story without having to create a way for the protagonist to be in two places at once. In my latest book, working title "Badass Sons a Bitches", the antagonist has a lot of chapters, which take some intent screwing (cutting and pasting) around with to keep things timely. So that we aren't jumping back and forth in time (pun intended). Just to make for an easier flow in our minds.
I like the feel of that, since the book is present tense, it seems to me to be a good way to build the tension as I read. Plus, the antagonist's motives can be revealed along the way. After all, antagonists need love, too. A driven, seething protagonist can make a good story great.
Also, with every character, I have backstory ongoing; because everyone has history which affects their present actions. It's where three-dimensional characters are born.
Anyhow, give it a try. Have Ben take a walk. And Sally talk behind his back to Shirley while he's gone. Or whatever. Go fucking crazy!

I just found this today. Interesting that I write like my favorite author did. Maybe the mental process affects the tone of the outcome. Some call it pantser (as in seat of the pants) as opposed to planner. I prefer to call it the shotgun approach. All I know is that my fingers often, indeed, do the thinking:
"Between 1973 and 2011, Robert B. Parker published nearly 70 books. Almost all of them were bestsellers.

"He started each of his books with a very brief sketch of an idea—a sentence or two, sometimes more. There was never a detailed outline. As he wrote, Bob usually wasn't sure what would happen until it did.

"He would sit down to write five and, later, ten pages a day. Once he was in his "groove," the words flowed easily, frequently leading him and his characters in unanticipated directions. Bob loved to write, and he always wondered at how his fingers often seemed to do the thinking for him." From the official website: robertbparker.net

Writing
Jul 24 at 9:42am
See the post mentioned at:
https://www.patreon.com/posts/hellfir...
The 9 chapters in the post titled "Hellfire 1-9" are not necessarily final. In fact, they are unlikely to be final. I have a plan, more or less of where the book is going, but I am a full on pantster (meaning one who writes by the seat of their pants). Winging it from day to day.

For example: the first 3 chapters of this draft were added after I was already about 15,000 words into the book.

I get the seed of an idea and write a few sentences. Reread after a day or two, and expand that into a scene. Once I have a bunch of chapter/scenes, I rearrange them as needed to grab the reader's attention at the beginning of the book and hopefully to move the plot forward without losing their interest, all the way to the end.

I do have a growing legion of readers who will get into the books and read one a day. So, I am at least pleasing some.
And consider supporting me at Patreon for as little as $1 a month. If only for one month.