Eve Rickert's Blog

CN: Sui*. Adapted from a thread at the Bad Place, originally posted July 15, 2021. Today is my friend Mary’s 48th birthday. She didn’t live to see her 30th. I want to tell you about her. This is Mary in 1997, when we met. We were both in Structure of Life, a full-time, year-long coordinated studies program that was basically a biology immersion, from the molecular to the…

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Ten years ago this week, I was staying at a bedbug-infested hostel in Tampa, Florida, putting the finishing touches on the second draft of the first edition of More Than Two to send to the editor. I had no idea how well the book might do, and was wondering if a 3,000-copy print run might be way too ambitious. Well. A lot has happened in 10 years. I know I don’t need to tell you—we’ve all been…

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This is a guest post by my friend Shelly, who also wrote this excellent guest post on consent. This essay was originally published in January 2014. Winter is coming… In the morning, I like to drink coffee out of this cheerful winter mug, stare intently at something 2000 miles away and say, darkly, Winter is coming… And then I like to follow it manically with something like, “And then there will be...

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Reposted from a September 25, 2018, answer on Quora. I have deleted my account there due to harassment, and will be reposting some of my favourite content here.

Originally answered: “When you figure out that a narcissist targeted you, do you agree that means you were lacking boundaries, had low self-esteem, were gullible and easily manipulated and that’s why he was able to destroy you?”

Abusive people (with and without narcissistic adaptations) target very specific traits in people, and th...

Reposted from a September 17, 2020, answer on Quora. I have deleted my account there due to harassment, and will be reposting some of my favourite content here.

Originally answered: What are your thoughts on the new movie Cuties?

I was impressed with how realistically and sensitively it portrayed the reality of being an 11-year-old queer girl trying to navigate her nascent sexuality between two polar extremes that seek to either exploit it or suppress and deny it completely. I think it’s n...

For many survivors of abuse or assault, the worst trauma doesn’t come from the abuse itself, but from the way it is handled by the community afterward. A safe and supportive community can facilitate healing—and the converse is also true. It is just so easy when we view someone through the lens of “victim” to frame them in a way that allows us to further strip them of agency, at the time when they...

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This is a post written by my friend Shea Emma Fett on her personal blog on June 30, 2015. She has given me permission to repost some of her essays here as guest posts.

Part of the process of recovering from an abusive relationship, is deconstructing the beliefs you had about the world and yourself that helped you to accept the situation. This is really important, because it puts power back into your hands, and gives you the tools to create a better life for yourself. But I don’t think you can...

This is a post written by my friend Shea Emma Fett on her personal blog on May 4, 2015. She has given me permission to repost some of her essays here as guest posts.

This morning I had a procedure scheduled. It’s a medical test that takes 4 hours, and involves eating radioactive eggs. I’m not going to talk about the test, because it’s not really related to what I want to talk about it, but I thought I would mention it because I had this intuitive hunch that mentioning radioactive eggs would b...

This is a post written by my friend Shea Emma Fett on her personal blog on May 16, 2015. She has given me permission to repost some of her essays here as guest posts.

I read somewhere an anecdote of a person who dealt with their stage fright by writing “Dead Soon” on the top of their notes. It’s the kind of funny to me that lives in the space of “what else can I do but laugh?” I think about it all the time. It’s a strange facet of the human mind. I flip flop between an unbearable sadness tha...