David Pratt's Blog - Posts Tagged "fourth-of-july"
Now I Know the Things You Wanted That You Could Not Say
The time for wishes is usually Thanksgiving or Christmas or New Year’s (Eve or Day), but maybe this isn’t a wish. Maybe this is a vision, so maybe it is fit for the most visionary American national holiday. This is definitely not a wish, because it will eventually happen. There are murmurs already. So maybe this is a reminder—that until this state of affairs comes to pass, us queer people as a group, as a nation within a nation, will not be free.
Same-sex marriage bans are collapsing in so many U.S. states, so fast that I can barely keep track. I am not going to attempt a count, because I would have to research the exact status in each state of the new states, and often there are tortuous footnotes; judge ruled but it’s under appeal but but but…
Suffice to say it’s all eventually good, all a victory for true equality and independence.
Which means they like us now, right? They really like us!
Not really. The heterosexual men of my generation still can not discuss homosexuality with much ease. Actually, plenty of homosexual men of my generation—homosexual men who are technically out—still can not discuss homosexuality with ease. I forget this, because I am a (gay) writer, and I socialize with other mostly gay writers. We write about this stuff, so of course we talk about it and post about it. But in general, among those I know, men and women of both orientations and various orientations in between, homosexuality is acceptable but not really ever a topic of conversation.
So my vision:
Queer people will truly be free when children are born into a world that will naturally assume that somehow at some time they might well be queer. The time is coming. Today, good young liberal parents let their toddlers cross-dress. Boys can play with dolls and girls with trucks, and in good liberal households it is acceptable to for a little boy to blurt out, “I want to marry Johnny when I grow up!”
But the society at large still posts a message that this is an aberration. An acceptable aberration. An “okay” aberration. But outside of a few urban areas, it’s an aberration that, even if “okay” (by which we often mean “completely not okay”) we don’t discuss. (I’m not even getting into segments of the culture where it is totally not okay.)
For all the good intentions going around, queer children still have to fight their way through a sticky web of shame, doubt, isolation and fear. Gay marriage is a huge step forward. But until this vision comes to pass—that children arrive in a world where queerness is a potential given, an option from the word go—those children will not be free.
But as I say, the time is coming. Happy Fourth of July, 2014.
Same-sex marriage bans are collapsing in so many U.S. states, so fast that I can barely keep track. I am not going to attempt a count, because I would have to research the exact status in each state of the new states, and often there are tortuous footnotes; judge ruled but it’s under appeal but but but…
Suffice to say it’s all eventually good, all a victory for true equality and independence.
Which means they like us now, right? They really like us!
Not really. The heterosexual men of my generation still can not discuss homosexuality with much ease. Actually, plenty of homosexual men of my generation—homosexual men who are technically out—still can not discuss homosexuality with ease. I forget this, because I am a (gay) writer, and I socialize with other mostly gay writers. We write about this stuff, so of course we talk about it and post about it. But in general, among those I know, men and women of both orientations and various orientations in between, homosexuality is acceptable but not really ever a topic of conversation.
So my vision:
Queer people will truly be free when children are born into a world that will naturally assume that somehow at some time they might well be queer. The time is coming. Today, good young liberal parents let their toddlers cross-dress. Boys can play with dolls and girls with trucks, and in good liberal households it is acceptable to for a little boy to blurt out, “I want to marry Johnny when I grow up!”
But the society at large still posts a message that this is an aberration. An acceptable aberration. An “okay” aberration. But outside of a few urban areas, it’s an aberration that, even if “okay” (by which we often mean “completely not okay”) we don’t discuss. (I’m not even getting into segments of the culture where it is totally not okay.)
For all the good intentions going around, queer children still have to fight their way through a sticky web of shame, doubt, isolation and fear. Gay marriage is a huge step forward. But until this vision comes to pass—that children arrive in a world where queerness is a potential given, an option from the word go—those children will not be free.
But as I say, the time is coming. Happy Fourth of July, 2014.
