Robert Vaughan's Blog

We didn’t have PTSD when we came back from Vietnam. Well, that’s not entirely true, we did have it, we just didn’t know what to call it. Part of it was the way we came home. Most of us flew home, and that was great . . . it would get us back with our loved ones in less than two days. That was also bad.

The soldiers coming home from WWII and Korea, came by ship . . . and that gave them time for decompression, so the immediacy of the war was put behind them. Not so with the soldiers from Vietnam, we were home before we even changed clothes.

To be honest, it wasn’t all that bad for those of us who were career soldiers. We came back to a CONUS base where nearly everyone we met had been there, or were going, which meant we had shared experiences. But let us consider the plight of the part-time soldiers; draftees, or those who enlisted for one tour then left the army.

On Friday, such a soldier might be on ambush patrol outside the fence at Cu Chi, Di An, or Phu Loi. When he comes back in that afternoon, he has his travel orders, and the next day he boards a Pan Am flight for San Francisco. By Monday afternoon he is sitting in the Bulldog Drive-in in Sikeston, Missouri, the Purity Café in Greenville, Illinois, or some such place back in the U.S.

He is listening to the juke box and visiting with people he has known his entire life. Physically he is home, but mentally, and emotionally, he is still back in-country! He remembers that Creech owes him five dollars. McKay has his sunglasses. He wonders if anyone will find the three cans of fruit from the Cs that he hid behind the 500KW generator. Will the rod-end bearings that are on ADP orders come in tomorrow? What about the tire for the three-quarter ton truck? He looks around at the others . . . they are laughing, teasing, talking about things that were once so important to him, the football game with Poplar Bluff was two weeks ago, and putting the dates together, he knows that was the day Lambdin was killed. He realizes that, though he had grown up with these people, they were not there for a very important part of his life. None of them have any idea…nor do they care…where he has been, what he has done, or seen.

Where is Schuler? Where is Gilbert? Chambers? Lindell? They’re still back in country. Bostick is still there as well, and, like Lambdin, he’ll be there forever. Bevins is back though . . . somewhere in Ohio. Is he going through the same thing?

He stares at Linda, a girl he had dated a few times, and she is smiling at him, but her smile is replaced with a sudden flash of fear, and, quickly, he glances away. He realizes that he has given her the thousand yard stare, and he should apologize to her, but he can’t. She would never understand, and he’s not sure that he does.

It’s been fifty years . . . but even now, a song, a smell, a sight, will bring it all back. . . tone and tint. And if we see someone wearing a Vietnam Vet’s cap we’ll nod, and say something like “Welcome home, brother.” Others seeing us will see two old men . . . but they don’t see what we see. We are greeting a young man in jungle fatigues, maybe standing on the service deck of a Huey with the engine cowl removed, or wearing a flak jacket and carrying an M-16, or leaning against a jeep with his arms folded, or sitting on a sandbag reinforced Conex container, writing, or reading a letter.

Those with whom we served will never grow old. On the day we die, the men and women we met there will still occupy a hallowed chamber of our hearts . . . and they will forever be young.

The post They’re Still Back In Country by Robert Vaughan appeared first on Robert Vaughan - an American writer..

It was Christmas Day, 1960 and I was in Korea. A Santa Clause mask dangled from the concertina wire just outside the hooch. One week earlier I had broken my foot and because there was snow and ice on the ground, I didn’t feel confident enough with my crutches to try and make it to the mess hall.

“We’ll bring you a sandwich, Vaughan,” one of my hooch-mates said.

I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. The army always went all-out to provide us with a big Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner, especially when we were overseas, but because I was immobilized by my injury I was going to have to make do with a sandwich.

I was listening to AFKN, (Armed Forces Korea Network) specifically a show called A DATE WITH DIANNE. Nobody knew who Dianne was, or if that was even her name, but we were all in love with her; she represented our wives, our sweethearts, the girl next door. Her voice was more soothing than sultry, more inclusive than seductive.

“And now, for all you boys out there, a song that is in every heart: I’ll be Home for Christmas.”

It was at least the third time she had played it in the last hour and as the song says, I was home “only in my dreams.” I had one son who would just now be aware of what Christmas was about and another son who I had not yet seen because he was born while I was on the troop ship on the way to Korea.

“I know you boys are lonely,” Dianne said when the song ended. “But think of your loved ones back home who are having to spend this Christmas without you. They are lonely too. But we have each other, don’t we, boys?” She played Silent Night, and I thought of all the times I had sung it, in church and in school.

“We wish you a Merry Christmas we wish you a Merry Christmas . . .” This song wasn’t coming from the radio, it was coming from outside and when the door opened every one of my hooch mates, all seven of them, came barging in singing and carrying mess-hall trays laden with food, turkey, dressing, rolls, apple pie.

“Vaughan, if you can’t come to Christmas, we’ll bring Christmas to you,” one of the men said and, hastily foot lockers were moved into position to serve as a table, a GI blanket was the table cloth, then the food was spread out.

During the meal we shared wishes and memories, Creech telling about Christmas Tree in Rockefeller Center, Logan told about going out into the woods in Colorado every year to cut down a tree, I talked about the Christmas decorations in downtown Sikeston, MO, with garland and lights spread across the streets, and the Nativity Scene in Malone Park.

We shared pictures of wives and kids, of parents and siblings and talked about how we missed them.

“You know what, guys, if you think about it, we’re kind of a family right now,” Gibson said.

And Gibson was right. This will be my 82nd Christmas, but that cold, dreary Christmas Day in Korea, 58 years ago, will forever occupy a special chamber in my heart.

Merry Christmas to all!

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I was going to be a trumpet player. I was inspired by my next-door neighbor who was about six years older than I, and a trumpet player in the high school band.

“The trumpet is the best instrument there is.” Roy insisted. “I mean, why do you think Betty Grable married Harry James?”

“I don’t know.”

“Because he plays the trumpet, that’s why.”

We were tested in the fourth grade by Mr. Collins, the band leader, and if we passed the musical aptitude test, we could begin taking lessons. I passed, and chose the trumpet. We met once a week in the high school gym for our lessons, and we were supposed to practice thirty minutes a day. Getting to the gym was no problem, I had a bicycle. But the practicing 30 minutes a day? Well, that cut into some quality time, so I didn’t always do it. But I stuck with it, then came the end of the eighth grade, and Mr. Collins began the selection. We went in to see him, one at a time.

“Dick, do you really want to be in the band?” Mr. Collins asked.

“Well, yeah, that’s why I’ve been taking music lessons for the last four years.”

“I have too many trumpet players, and you’re not good enough to get in.”

I was crushed.

“But, if you will switch to the French horn, I will let you in. The fingering for the French horn isn’t that different, you can already read music, and I can switch you over this summer.”

French horn? I knew that Harry James played the trumpet, Glen Miller and Tommy Dorsey played the trombone and Jimmy Dorsey played the clarinet. But who in the world played the French horn? Who had ever even heard of the French horn?

“I’ll do it,” I said.

I got into the band as a freshman French Horn player. There were only three of us, two juniors and me. My new hero became Eddie Webb, the other boy French horn player. When we started getting ready for the marching season, he saw me reaching for the music.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“I’m getting the sheet music for this march.”

“You don’t need it.”

“What? Why not?”

“This is a march. We will always be right next to the bass horn. When the base horn goes ‘oompah’ we go toot. It’s like this. ‘oompah – toot, oompah toot, oompah – toot, toot.’ That’s it, that’s all you have to do.”

As it turns out, Eddie was correct, as far as march music was concerned. But when we started the concert season, I actually developed an appreciation for the French horn. More than that, I developed an appreciation, no, a LOVE of classical music. I listen to it as I write, I listen to it on Sirus Radio as I drive, and it has been a huge comforting part of my life.

One thing Mr. Collins did was find a small “solo” piece for the seniors during the final concert of our senior year. Sometimes it was no more than ten or fifteen bars, but it was a proud moment. For me, the solo piece was in Pavane For a Dead Princess. I had no more than ten bars, but it was almost a disaster.

The valves on a French horn aren’t lever actuated, they are actuated by strings. All conscientious French horn players check the strings regularly, and keep some spare string in their case. I’ve never been particularly conscientious. About the second piece into the concert, the strings for both the first, and the middle valve on my horn broke. I had no spare. You can still operate the valves, BUT you have to reach around in a very awkward position, and it isn’t all that easy to do. We reached, Pavane, Mr. Collins lifted his baton, and the concert band began to play. The music flowed beautifully, then we reached my solo. I stood up, Mr. Collins pointed his baton toward me in a fluid and rhythmic motion, and smiled benevolently at the senior who was about to leave his fold. He saw me make that awkward reach around to the backside of my valves, and the benevolent smile turned to a look of horror. He continued to direct the band, the music continued, and I hit a series of middle “E’s” then “D’s, then low “Es” then low “A’s”. Every note required a different fingering position, but, I NAILED them.

After the concert was over, Mr. Collins asked to see me.

“We have no more concerts to play until graduation night, and because you are graduating you won’t be a part of the band then. I would say that if you weren’t graduating you still wouldn’t be a part of the band.”

Mr. Collins’ frown turned to a smile.. “But somehow you pulled it off. So I can’t be too angry with you.”

There are teachers we encounter during our twelve years of school who make a lifetime impact upon us. I can name three: Mrs. Foley in the fifth grade, Mr. Walker and Mr. Wilkerson in high school. But the one with the greatest impact on my life, was Mr. Keith Collins.

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My -almost- Television Career

I almost had a career in television. For the last three months I was in the army, I took part in a program called “Operation Transition.” That enabled me to find a job in the civilian sector….while the army continued to pay me.

A local television station near Ft. Eustis agreed to take me on under those circumstances. I wrote features for them, I had an on-air presence as a reviewer of books, movies, plays, and restaurants. I also interviewed writers, and visiting personalities. And, I wrote news stories for the six and eleven o’clock news. This was, by the way, in the days of SOF (Sound on Film) rather that video.

I had a rather warped sense of humor then, and I sort of let it gain control over me. On one incident the golfer, Orville Moody, came to visit. I convinced him that it would be good if he would give some golfing lessons, on film, to our weather girl. We went to the golf course and he showed her how to hold the club, address the ball, etc…..and she did everything so clumsily that he was about to give up. Then he said, “Go ahead and hit it, then we’ll start from there.”

What I hadn’t told Mr. Moody was that our weather girl had been a runner up national collegiate champion in women’s golf. She knocked the ball about 250 yards, straight down the middle of the fairway. Moody’s face reflected his shock. “DAYUM! I SHOULD TEACH!” We had to cut that comment from the SOF.

Another incident involved our anchor. He was an excellent attack reader…and because of that he refused to discuss any news story before he presented it. He was a bit . . .I’ll just say pompous. So I wrote a story for him for the six o’clock news.

Portsmouth police petitioned pickle packers posting policy procedures principally protesting paltry pricing programs to stand down yesterday..

He began: “Portsmouth pickle perk…uh…Portsmouth packer picker…uh…Por per pro… uh…but more on this at eleven.”

He wasn’t happy with the news story…which I insisted was simply impactful alliteration.

But my own personal demise…and what got me fired from the TV studio was, I admit today, a dumb stunt. Earlier in the day a police officer had been a guest on a children’s program, and he was showing all the equipment a policemen carried. When he left, he left behind his handcuffs. I was sitting at the news desk having just given a book review, and it was time for the weather report. The weather girl (I’m not being sexist, that’s what they were called then) was working with the map in Chroma key. In her right hand was a wand…and she was pointing to a blank blue background while looking at the map on the studio monitor. Her left hand was on the corner of the desk….right in front of me….and right above the policeman’s handcuffs. I couldn’t resist….I handcuffed her to the desk.

This was on live TV and the problem was…the policeman had left the handcuffs….but not the key. It took us an hour to get her free. The station manager was watching from home.

That was the last day of my broadcasting career on WAVY-TV.

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Cade’s Redemption – The Western Adventures of Cade McCall Book 3
$6.99eBook: $0.99
Series: Western Adventures of Cade McCall, Book 3
Genre: Westerns
ASIN: B06ZY21R2G
ISBN: 1629186759

Trying to recover from the grief over the death of his wife, Cade McCall settles in Dodge City, “Hell on the Plains”. While drunk, Cade loses the saloon that he owns in partnership with Jeter Willis, rupturing a friendship that had stood for years.

Caught up in the infamy of lawlessness and gun slinging that is Dodge City, Cade fights the battle against his own despair, and against the Slater Brothers who are trying to take over the town. He is aided in the struggle by his new found friend, Bat Masterson, old friend Jacob Harrison and the renewed friendship with Jeter Willis.




About the Book




Other Books in "Western Adventures of Cade McCall" Long Road To Abilene - The Western Adventures of Cade McCall Book 1 Cade's Revenge - The Western Adventures of Cade McCall Book 2Look Inside Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the page above are "affiliate links." This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

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Cade’s Revenge – The Western Adventures of Cade McCall Book 2
$8.99eBook: $0.99
Series: Western Adventures of Cade McCall, Book 2
Genre: Westerns
ASIN: B01MQGG4HJ
ISBN: 1629185868

Follow Cade McCall as he rides the Chisholm Trail, crosses raging rivers, faces cattle rustlers and fights marauding Indians while taking a herd of longhorns north to Kansas. He reaches his destination only to be devastated by the most heinous act he has ever encountered. Driven by a rage-filled determination, Cade begins his search for justice, a search that ends with Cade’s Revenge.




About the Book




Other Books in "Western Adventures of Cade McCall" Long Road To Abilene - The Western Adventures of Cade McCall Book 1 Cade's Redemption - The Western Adventures of Cade McCall Book 3Look Inside Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the page above are "affiliate links." This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

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Long Road To Abilene – The Western Adventures of Cade McCall Book 1
$6.99eBook: $0.99
Series: Western Adventures of Cade McCall, Book 1
Genre: Westerns
ASIN: B01J4YMTCO
ISBN: 1629189847

LONG ROAD TO ABILENE, is a classic hero’s journey, a western adventure that exemplifies the struggles, the defeats, and the victories that personify the history of the American West. After surviving the bloody battle of Franklin and the hell of a Yankee prison camp, Cade McCall comes home to the woman he loves only to find that she, believing him dead, has married his brother. With nothing left to keep him in Tennessee, Cade journeys to New Orleans where an encounter with a beautiful woman leads to being shanghaied for an unexpected adventure at sea. Returning to Texas, he signs on to drive a herd of cattle to Abilene, where he is drawn into a classic showdown of good versus evil, and a surprising reunion with an old enemy.




About the Book




Other Books in "Western Adventures of Cade McCall" Cade's Revenge - The Western Adventures of Cade McCall Book 2 Cade's Redemption - The Western Adventures of Cade McCall Book 3Look Inside Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the page above are "affiliate links." This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

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Hearts Divided – The Founders Book 5
$6.99eBook: $0.99
Series: The Founders Series, Book 5
Genre: Westerns
ASIN: B06XS97KVT
ISBN: 1629188131

Arriving in St. Louis to search for his missing brother, Danny O’Lee meets a lovely but mysterious young girl named Liberty Wells who has known his brother and perhaps been his lover before they were parted by the bitter slavery question. Danny is led to Quantrill and his guerrillas, among them Frank and Jesse James, who are ravaging anti-slavery Kansas. Next, he meets and is converted to the Union cause by a beautiful black abolitionist.

Finally, after having his hairbreadth adventures, Danny O’Lee finds his beloved brother—fighting on the other side—at the bloody Battle of Shiloh, a turning point in the little known Civil War in the West.

There, a hero is born, a villain unmasked and a loved is renewed, while the Union finds a general in an obscure, cigar-smoking, whiskey-drinking sphinx of a man names U.S. Grant.




About the Book




Other Books in "The Founders Series" Lost Lady of Laramie - The Founders Book 1 The Raiders - The Founders Book 3 Warriors Of The Code - The Founders Book 4Look Inside Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the page above are "affiliate links." This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

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Warriors Of The Code – The Founders Book 4
$6.99eBook: $0.99Audiobook: $17.46
Genre: Westerns
ASIN: B01MRCM0CG
ISBN: 1629188107

A tired old lawyer with a secret past, and the young protégé that he rescued from a wagon train attack that killed his parents and left him an orphan, are warriors in the tough town of Tombstone. Warriors of the code . . . they are equally adept with the Commentaries of Law, a book by William Blackstone . . . or the revolver, a pistol by Samuel Colt. Audiobook




About the Book




Look Inside Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the page above are "affiliate links." This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

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Brandywine’s War
eBook: $0.99
Genre: Historical Fiction
ASIN: B079YHSJXR

"World War II had its CATCH 22, Korea had its M.A.S.H. and Vietnam has its own comic masterpiece - Lt Col Joseph M.F. May

There are dozens of unforgettable characters, and scores of authentic scenes in Brandywine's War. From behind the headlines, and the front-line dispatches has come this Rabelaisian novel.

Chief Warrant Officer Vaughan completed Brandywine's War while serving his second of three tours of duty in Vietnam.




About the Book




Look Inside Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the page above are "affiliate links." This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

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