Katie Baldwin's Blog

I love to eat and like most Americans, I’m obsessed with TV chefs.  (shout out to Giada!) But like some Americans – eight million to be precise – I also suffer from Binge Eating Disorder. Why am I sharing this with you? Because the book I am editing now is about a girl struggling with Binge Eating Disorder (B.E.D.) and when I shared my story with my beta readers and critique partners I received a lot of positive feedback for the reality of my protagonist. She hates her body, she struggles with emotional eating, she uses food to punish herself or to punish others. If I show my story to a few people and they can all relate on some level to her issues, what does that say about our relationship with food as a country?

It isn’t good folks. And I’m not going to waste time discussing the latest fad diet, or our new obsession with sugar being the enemy. What I will talk about honestly is my struggle. For years I have been on some diet. By day, I shunned carbs, fats, sugar and whatever else the latest fad told me to avoid. But by night, feeling deprived I would go into a frenzied attack on everything I ignored during the day. Brownies? Yes. Cake. God Yes. ICE CREAM??

I don’t binge every night but I do have triggers and here are just a few of them for your edification:

Officemate talking about diets and how much weight they lost
Officemate talking about how fat she is (she’s tiny – FYI)
The Today Show has Dr. Oz on and he has a rather creepy discussion with tiny tiny Matt Lauer on ways to avoid certain foods. Dr. Oz just seems creepy to me.
Putting on clothes that don’t look good and deciding, “F” it. I’m just going to go down in a blaze of ice cream.

What can we do as a society to help sufferers of Binge Eating Disorder? Not much. We have to figure out our triggers on our own. We need therapy and a nutritionist and sometimes even medication. We cannot do it on our own. WE CANNOT. If you binge, please read this and believe me. I’m probably older than you and have been ignoring the signs of B.E.D. for years. I couldn’t work toward healing without my therapist.

What we can do as a society is stop obsessing over our bodies. No one is getting healthier by being shamed. No one is getting healthier by being placed on a 1200 calorie diet and forced to comply with the tiny bits of food. No one is getting healthier by being yelled at by those nasty trainers on Biggest Losers. Those are all temporary fixes. If you binge, believe me, you will binge again after they stop yelling at you. And then you will hate yourself even more.

How about we learn to love ourselves? Big, small, muscular or flabby. Good things come to people who truly love themselves. We want to get outside and walk, run or go to the gym. We want to eat salads because they taste good and we can feel the change in our bodies. What we need to learn as a society is that the fairy tale ending of someone losing all their weight and then they live happily ever after is simply not true. I may never lose all the weight but by GOD I will learn to love myself! I will learn to eat vegetables and enjoy exercising because it feels good. I am not doing this to become thin or “in shape” whatever that means. I’m doing it because I want to be the healthiest me I can. That means taking care of myself. It does not mean obsessing about carbs or sugar or whatever else they came up with – it means loving myself.

So join me in finally taking charge of our lives. I have a morning mantra: It is  “I love myself and I’m going to take care of me today.” Okay, so it’s a bit hippy dippy, who cares? If we hear things enough we might believe it! So join me in loving ourselves. We deserve to be our highest priority. Also as my therapist says to me every time she sees me, “be kind to yourself.” If you binge, don’t be angry, figure out why you binged (in a kind non-judgemental way) and forgive yourself and move forward. These are the are simple tools toward a healthy life – at least for me. I urge all of you who struggle with B.E.D. to seek professional help – by way of therapy and a nutritionist. You deserve to take this time to care for yourself! Remember that!

Be well!

KatieB

I’m so excited for you all to get a chance to read my book. I created sexy movie star Aidan Shannon based on my long-standing crush on Russell Crowe. What?! You ask as you silently judge me. Russell Crowe? You mean the phone throwing guy?

Yeah. I mean the phone throwing guy. But!! Hear me out. It was 1996 (I think), and I just watched a movie starring a young Mr. Crowe called “The Sum of Us.” A lovely movie and I impulsively sent him a fan note; I wrote something to the effect of “You’re a great actor, I hope you consider making some movies in Hollywood one day.  Don’t send me anything back; I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed your film.”

But he did write back. He was making a little film called “LA Confidential,” and happened to be in the States. He sent me two photos – one looking hot and rugged from the film “The Quick and the Dead.” He scrawled in his manly script on the picture, “Even though you didn’t want this, I’m sending this to you anyway. Thanks for your letter.” (Swoon.) The other picture he looked hot and sexy in a sweater in a film called, “Mystery Alaska.”  He signed that one too. He also sent me chocolates. Little koala bear shaped chocolates. Maybe later he got grumpy and stuff, but back in the day, he sent a girl chocolates! So I love him. Simple. (PS see him in “The Nice Guys.” Hilarious.)

Aidan was originally Australian and a lot more rough around the edges. As I rewrote the story, he changed and – Aidan’s the boss, so I let it happen. There is very little left of my original Aidan – except for the times when he drinks heavily. I hope you enjoy the story! Now, Aidan looks more like a young – which in my opinion, is not a bad thing at all.  My next guy is based on my new found lust… er, love for Arrow. I think we can all agree is outrageously hot. Sigh… I have to go back to writing. Look for A Kiss To Build A Dream On on March 1st!

You can buy my book by clicking here. Or here! Don’t forget to leave a review and thank you!

I love horror movies. There, I said it and now it’s out there. So people are constantly surprised when I avoid mob movies because of the violence. An ax-wielding maniac who only kills pot-smoking-sex-fiends is not a real thing. The MOB is a real thing. The violence that has been associated with the mob is a real thing.  Real things are scary, ergo, I write about make believe stuff. As a romance writer, I write about men with six packs who are young, hung and wealthy. They may come off as conceited or have a dark past, or be afraid of ghosts (ahem) or whatever, but you know that they pretty much rock.  I apply the same fantasy to my horror elements. I’m not writing about spiders or rats or zombies because that stuff is real. (I assume you are all ready for the zombie apocalypse.) I write about ghosts with a gothic vibe of pain and mystery. I will write about witches, spirits, and the fay.  I believe they all exist, I’m just not all that freaked out by them. Examples: The Ring was scary, but I saw it alone and was fine. I also enjoyed, but was not scared by, Paranormal Activity. That doesn’t mean I don’t get scared. Oh, I get lights-on-at-night afraid. I’m totally freaked out by movies and stories about Satan. (Shudder) The Exorcist freaked me out. I mean, seriously freaked me out. I read the book and saw the movie because I love to be scared, but it was really disturbing!  I’m pretty sure that devil-worshipping-baby-killing-sex-with-goats Satanists are not real. But since I was a teen in the 80s I can assure you that a lot of people thought anyone AND I MEAN ANYONE could be a nefarious Satanist.  Now we know that the recalled memories of satanic ritual abuse were a load of bunk, but in the 80s? It was the witch trails all over again. I wouldn’t have been surprised to find “Satanist” burned at the stake. A freaky time. I’m a storyteller – so it’s my nature to ask “what if satanic ritual abuse (SRA)  actually happened?” And when that occurred to me, I was so flummoxed by my fears that I knew I had to write that story.

I’m going to explore my fear of SRA  in my next book. Hopefully, it won’t make me lose my mind (I know, too late!) So prepare yourselves for Sebastian’s story. Because aside from SRA, Sebastian is going to fall in love.

Sit tight, while I do my research and decide what evil Satanists look like in my paranormal world.

I’m preparing myself with some great Satan and devil-themed books and movies. Because it’s Halloween I’m sharing my list with you. (You’re welcome.)

Movies:

Angel Heart
The Prophecy (Viggo Mortensen plays the Devil)
The Exorcist
Devil
Rosemary’s Baby
The House of the Devil
The Omen
The Exorcism of Emily Rose

Books:

Michelle Remembers
Rabbit Hole: A Satanic Ritual Abuse Survivor’s Story
THE BLACK ALBUM: A Hollywood Horror Story
Anything by Tananarive Due. She’s awesome.
Anything by Joe Hill. He’s awesome.

Grab a blanket, sit by the fire and read or watch these unsettling stories. Happy Halloween!

Cheers, KatieB

For years, the theater was my way of expressing myself. I loved falling into a character and becoming best friends with the rest of the cast. Cast mates are the most intense wonderful friends in the world! When I moved to Charlottesville, I immediately become involved in the theater world in town, and it was fantastic. Because of theaters like Play On! and Live Arts I was able to act, dance, sing, and direct!  It was a dream come true. I directed a musical WITH DANCING. If you knew my lack of talent in that area, you would understand why that is so funny. As a new person to Charlottesville, the theater introduced me to most of the friends I’ve made in past ten years.  I say most because the other group of friends I’ve made are those wacky Darden MBA for Executive students, ahem, alums.

When I started working for Darden’s MBA for Executive Program, I became besties with at least half of each class. This is not an exaggeration. It was crazy how the students delighted me! So the job was now quite interesting, AND Theater was going very well. But something was missing.  I discovered what that ”thing” was one day when I was talking to MBA E student.  He was so passionate about the art of storytelling that it sparked something in me that has remained a part of me today. I can only hope I will share that spark with someone else one day.

I followed that inspiring conversation with the student by taking a mystery writing class at UVA’s Continuing and Professional Studies program.  I’m a storyteller – actors have to be – but I wanted more control over the narrative– I didn’t just want to interpret a story, I wanted to be the creator of the story.  I took the writing class so I could improve my story telling and writing. It was a great decision. Taking that class was that impactful moment or sign that some people call an epiphany. I found what was missing in my life, and it was writing.  I will always love theater, but for now at least, I am fully engaged in writing. Thank you to all of you who lead me to this happy time in my life! I really appreciate the support and love you have all shown  me as I share my writer news.

To me, writing a love song is akin to alchemy. There are three components to a good love song.

The music,
The lyrics,
The performer.

If any element of this magical trifecta is amiss… well then the song is awful.

When composing a love song, I feel that many composers either lazily pick giant sweeping musical orchestrations or just a simple guitar that is basically a strumming melody awaiting the voice. It is an empty shell without the other two components and that simply will not do! The music should haunt us; it should send us to that romantic place in our minds, it should set the scene for the lyrics to come.

Let me be plain, “I want to do you” is not a love song lyric. I have nothing against explicit expressions of love, but a song that is dedicated to the person you love above all else, should have more to say then – “I’d like to handcuff you to my bed”. Lyrics in most love songs are either so sugary or too explicit without adding any emotion and that it is an epic fail.

I dislike whispy singing voices, so love songs performed by women with melancholy whispery voices makes me angry. Where the hell is Aretha singing about being a “natural woman?” You can be damned sure she isn’t going to sing something with a whispy voice. I’m also prone to rage at men who pull out their guitar and sing a soft and passive aggressive song about love gone wrong. What is wrong with you? If you are going to sing a sad love song, might I suggest listening to Black by Pearl Jam? That song had angst, sadness and real suffering! Or if I go back to my alchemy analogy it hits all the magical elements!

As Valentine’s day approaches, I thought I’d share my favorite love song of all time – A Kiss to Build a Dream On. It was written in 1935 by Bert Kalmar, Harry Ruby and Oscar Hammerstein. It was recorded by one of my favorite performers Louis Armstrong or “Satchmo” as I like to call him. (Apparently I think we are friends.)

Have a listen:

You can’t help but smile when you hear the lyrics to this song. It hits all the elements: great lyrics, great musicality and my dear friend Satchmo at the helm. For me the ingredients to creating a great love song lyric are rather simple, but very hard to bake i(f I may shift to a cooking analogy.)

One touch of whimsy
A whole lot of subtlety
A dash of humor
Mix well and addreal emotion.
Boom!Love song.

Again, it seems simple but to me, these ingredients have the capability of going horribly wrong.  So – don’t write one unless you plan on hiring a great lyricist and fantastic singer.  It takes three to make this thing go right.

I will end this blog with a list of what I consider good and bad love songs. Feel free to disagree, but understand I will most likely think you’re wrong.

BAD:

Is this love? By Whitesnake –

Reason: IT’S BY WHITESNAKE

Hero By Enrique Inglesias.

Reason: His whimpery voice irritates me so much I can’t even listen to the lyrics.

Tonight I Celebrate My Love By: Peabo Bryson / Roberta Flack – –

Reason:  this song is so over the top in the melodrama department that it makes my skin crawl.

You’re Beautiful by James Blunt

Reason:  Whimpy voice, stalker lyrics equals a big HELL NO.

My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion

Reason: I can’t stand Celine’s over the top performance style and the lyrics are so schlocky – it is not to be tolerated!

GREAT:

In Your Eyes By – Peter Gabriel

Reason: Here is the perfect love song. All the ingredients blended perfectly to create a meaningful love song.

Crazy in Love By- Beyoncé featuring Jay-Z

Reason: It starts out loud and sexy and that is before Beyoncé begins to sing. I like this song for the passion of the lyrics and Beyoncé’s voice and the frenetic beat which reminds me  very much of falling in love. Uh oh! Uh oh! Uh oh! On No No!

Crazy Little Thing Called Love By Queen

Reason: Uh, it’s Queen, do I have to have another reason?

As By: Stevie Wonder

Reason: I love this song more than I love cookies and that is saying a lot. People, there is no one who writes a better lyric than Mr. Stevie Wonder, and his voice and orchestration? Divine.

Chains of Love – By Erasure

Reason: This song makes me think of my college years and all the friends from that time that I still adore. It is all about the joy of love, the celebration of love and Andy Bell has a delightful voice.

I will be here for you – Al Jarreau

Reason: Although he is known for singing good morning to the stereo and the radio, this man -a jazz singer of the highest regard- sings this very genuine love song where the chorus “I will be here for you” is sung in Swahili.

It Must Be Love – By Madness

Reason: It is so sweet without being sugary, I don’t know how they did it but it is perfection.

Under the Milky Way – The Church

Reason: I love the lyrics, music and vocals of this song – SO MUCH – I have no more words to describe my love.

This Time By – INXS

Reason: I saw this band in concert four or five times, and each time the band did this song, Michael Hutchence looked so sad when he sang this song that I had to put this one on my list. RIP Michael.

Whether you agree with my thoughts on musical alchemy or not, good love songs are a rare breed and should be treated with respect. Do you hear me White Snake?

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Katie

There is something inherently romantic about the Big Band era. People danced cheek-to-cheek, Big Bands played into the night and the movies reflected the time with spectacular dancing, wonderful music and touching stories. In my mind, I see the 1940s through black and white images.  Women wore fabulous gowns, smoked cigarettes and drank with flair and attitude. I know that in reality the 1940s was not a good time for a lot of people. But, I’m a romantic! To me the 1940s were about dinner parties, soirées, and Big Band music.

Clearly I did not grow up in the 1940s. My mother laughs at my romanticized notion of the time. “Dinner parties? Soirées? Please!”  –She often says to me. But, what can I say? All I know about the 1940s comes from film and music. The fact that we went to war in 1942, that there was basically no restaurant delivery, no air-conditioning and no iPhones, does not pale my love for the Big Band era.

To understand my vision of the 1940s you have to love old movies. And if you love old movies, you have to love the classic leading man. Cary Grant. What can I say? He wore tuxedos and called women darling while he sipped on his scotch and soda. He oozed charisma and elegance. My first story was about a romantic hero that was so much like Cary Grant that I still giggle when I read the story today. I was a shy fourteen year old girl at the time, and what did I know about men? It was hard enough for me to make friends, but boyfriends?

My family moved around a lot while I grew up and nothing is more uncomfortable for a bookish girl than having to transfer from new school to new school. If it hadn’t been for my movie star friends, life would have been pretty lonely. In my mind I was with Lauren Bacall, Ginger Rogers and my first love, Gene Kelly.  So, I never had a problem when we moved. I had my parents, my sister and an assorted amount of highly classy friends that travelled with me everywhere. 

Gene Kelly ,for example, was my best friend when I had to move to a new  school. It was tough being the glasses-wearing geek in yet another school. But then I would go home and I would turn on the television. Like magic, Gene would be there, with his big huge grin, dancing to beat the band, the perfect homecoming after a solitary day as the dreaded new girl. But it wasn’t just about escape, I learned a lot from my celluloid friends.

The movies taught me how to handle life and break out of my shell. Bette Davies taught me how to mask my shyness with incredible attitude, Lena Horne taught me to sing and to be brave , Montgomery Clift showed me what a perfect face looked like, and taught me how addiction can destroy everything – even beauty,  and Rosalind Russell taught me not to take any crap from a man. Compelling life lessons for anybody! But I’m not sure I would have been so devoted to the movies had it not been for swing music. A love story is great, a love story with music? PERFECTION.

The music was a significant part of the era, Benny Goodman and his clarinet, Glenn Miller and his trombone, and my all-time favorite, Count Basie and his Orchestra, made such an indelible musical impression on an already distinctive time. The haunting music was both amazingly upbeat, while still managing to deliver the pain and devastating loss of what is often called “The War years”.

I’ll Be Seeing You   is one of those sad war songs, where the singer says to his love, “I’ll be looking at the moon, but I’ll be seeing you” –sad reminder of how many people lost the one they loved to war. But for me, a girl that loves a happy ending, I never focused on the dark side of that time, I focused on the joy, the clothes, the actors and that great music.

As a contemporary romance writer, I know that my love for a good love story started with the black and white pictures of the ’40s. Blossoming love, dancing, cocktails and wonderful music set to the backdrop of World War II – that is what inspired me to start my own stories.   Today, the only special thing that I keep with me from my teenage devotion to the 1940s, is in the titles of my stories. I like to use song titles or lyrics from favorite songs of that period (known as standards) as the title to my books. So, look out for “A Kiss To Build A Dream On”, the title comes from a song that is a personal favorite of mine from Louis Armstrong. The story is about an impossibly dreamy actor and a nerdy librarian. What happens? Well, you will just have to read it won’t you?

My parents celebrated their 50 years together. What a staggering thing that is, especially when I think about all the memories that make up those 50 years. What kind of incredible connection must there be between my parents?   I’m not sure what has made their marriage endure when so many others have failed, but I do know that they are each other’s best friend. How they became best friends is a good story. My dad passed the Foreign Service exam on the first try (a jaw dropping accomplishment as ¾ of the people that take the exam fail.) He joined USIA (United States Information Agency) and began a 20+ year career travelling the world as a diplomat.  My mother fully supported my dad’s desire to be a diplomat. Seeing foreign lands was exciting especially for two kids from a small town in Wisconsin! But she was a young woman of 27 with a young child (me!) and our little family was whisked off to Rio de Janeiro to take Portuguese lessons. The young couple was dropped into a foreign country with virtually no language skills. To me this is where they began to forge that deep friendship that is the essential component of a great marriage. They had that whole “the two of them against the world” mentality and it has been a part of their relationship ever sense the beginning. My dad is now retired and with mom’s help, they have been writing a memoir of their life together. Mostly the memoir focuses on our travels overseas as a family, but it starts with the beginning of their life together on their wedding on August 22, 1964.

Dad remembers the wedding fondly, although any wedding in August seems cruel and unusual punishment to me. “Your mom was a beautiful bride.” He says with a smile when we look at the wedding book. Dad’s brother, Mark, and friend Johnny were altar boys and his Uncle Monty was his Best Man. The young couple went on their honeymoon for three “glorious” days in Minneapolis. The thing is folks, even after 50 years my Dad is still trying to justify Minneapolis as a great honeymoon destination. Mom, justifiably, turns a deaf ear to his explanations.  Dad went to New Orleans without her the summer prior to his first year as a teacher (and to their marriage) and she has never quite forgotten that infraction. My dad makes things worse by bringing up the great show they saw in Minneapolis by Nat King Cole’s brother Ike. I’m not making any of this up.

Mom remembers staying at her grandmother house the night before the wedding. She could not get the song “I’m getting married in the morning” from My Fair Lady out of her head as she did her nails for her special day. To say that people were surprised that my mom and dad were dating much less engaged to be married is an understatement. My mom was best friends with Dad’s sister Liz and neither of them liked dad very much. He was the older brother of seven children and he took his role as the eldest way too seriously.   But as they both grew up, and both turned out to be incredibly good looking people, they naturally gravitated towards one another. I’m sure it was more complicated than that but I am their child so allow me some brevity in this more romantic aspect of their initial connection.

Early the morning of my mother’s wedding; she went to the her local Beauty shop to get her hair done and have the pill box hat with veil placed on her head. It was very Jackie Kennedy! Picture a young pretty girl on a bike, with a pill box hat and jeans and that was my mother the morning of her wedding. When I visualize this moment, and I have for years, I hear her singing “I’m getting married in the morning” as she bikes home, veil trailing in her wake. That image has made me smile since I was a child.

As a romance writer I am highly influenced by the love my parents have for each other. I’m a believer in happy endings and strong long lasting love. So if you read my books expect humor and expect love but don’t expect a sad ending, because that just isn’t my thing.

There is something inherently romantic about the Big Band era. People danced cheek-to-cheek, Big Bands played into the night and the movies reflected the time with spectacular dancing, wonderful music and touching stories. In my mind, I see the 1940s through black and white images.  Women wore fabulous gowns, smoked cigarettes and drank with flair and attitude. I know that in reality the 1940s was not a good time for a lot of people. But, I’m a romantic! To me the 1940s were about dinner parties, soirées, and Big Band music.

Clearly I did not grow up in the 1940s. My mother laughs at my romanticized notion of the time. “Dinner parties? Soirées? Please!”  —She often says to me. But, what can I say? All I know about the 1940s comes from film and music. The fact that we went to war in 1942, that there was basically no restaurant delivery, no air-conditioning and no iPhones, does not pale my love for the Big Band era.

To understand my vision of the 1940s you have to love old movies. And if you love old movies, you have to love the classic leading man. Cary Grant. What can I say? He wore tuxedos and called women darling while he sipped on his scotch and soda. He oozed charisma and elegance. My first story was about a romantic hero that was so much like Cary Grant that I still giggle when I read the story today. I was a shy fourteen year old girl at the time, and what did I know about men? It was hard enough for me to make friends, but boyfriends?

My family moved around a lot while I grew up and nothing is more uncomfortable for a bookish girl than having to transfer from new school to new school. If it hadn’t been for my movie star friends, life would have been pretty lonely. In my mind I was with Lauren Bacall, Ginger Rogers and my first love, Gene Kelly.  So, I never had a problem when we moved. I had my parents, my sister and an assorted amount of highly classy friends that travelled with me everywhere. 

Gene Kelly ,for example, was my best friend when I had to move to a new  school. It was tough being the glasses-wearing geek in yet another school. But then I would go home and I would turn on the television. Like magic, Gene would be there, with his big huge grin, dancing to beat the band, the perfect homecoming after a solitary day as the dreaded new girl. But it wasn’t just about escape, I learned a lot from my celluloid friends.

The movies taught me how to handle life and break out of my shell. Bette Davies taught me how to mask my shyness with incredible attitude, Lena Horne taught me to sing and to be brave , Montgomery Clift showed me what a perfect face looked like, and taught me how addiction can destroy everything – even beauty,  and Rosalind Russell taught me not to take any crap from a man. Compelling life lessons for anybody! But I’m not sure I would have been so devoted to the movies had it not been for swing music. A love story is great, a love story with music? PERFECTION.

The music was a significant part of the era, Benny Goodman and his clarinet, Glenn Miller and his trombone, and my all-time favorite, Count Basie and his Orchestra, made such an indelible musical impression on an already distinctive time. The haunting music was both amazingly upbeat, while still managing to deliver the pain and devastating loss of what is often called “The War years”.

I’ll Be Seeing You   is one of those sad war songs, where the singer says to his love, “I’ll be looking at the moon, but I’ll be seeing you” —sad reminder of how many people lost the one they loved to war. But for me, a girl that loves a happy ending, I never focused on the dark side of that time, I focused on the joy, the clothes, the actors and that great music.

As a contemporary romance writer, I know that my love for a good love story started with the black and white pictures of the ’40s. Blossoming love, dancing, cocktails and wonderful music set to the backdrop of World War II – that is what inspired me to start my own stories.   Today, the only special thing that I keep with me from my teenage devotion to the 1940s, is in the titles of my stories. I like to use song titles or lyrics from favorite songs of that period (known as standards) as the title to my books. So, look out for “A Kiss To Build A Dream On”, the title comes from a song that is a personal favorite of mine from Louis Armstrong. The story is about an impossibly dreamy actor and a nerdy librarian. What happens? Well, you will just have to read it won’t you?