Rick Hocker's Blog

The word “surrender” conjures an image of giving up, of raising a white flag and throwing down one’s weapons in a painful acknowledgement of defeat. In its spiritual application, however, it is an act of liberation, not defeat. Spiritual surrender is a posture of yielding to God. It is a giving up of our expectations of the universe, a laying down of our defenses that keep God at bay, an intentional dismantling of the structures we have built to control our life and circumstances, and a giving permission to be undone. Most of all, it is a posture of unconditional vulnerability before God. Allow me to make the case for how such a radical surrender can be liberating.

Control is the Opposite of Surrender

We invest our energies to control every aspect of our lives, those we think we can control and those we fool ourselves that we can control, each a territory we have to govern. Like a frantic parent, we try to keep all our children territories subject to us, compliant to our directives and wishes. This is a difficult task for anyone. We feel pulled in multiple directions and are sometimes overwhelmed by the responsibility. We can only relax when every territory has relative peace, otherwise we are stressed and on edge. This is the situation that Jesus addressed in Matthew 11:28 when He invited those who are “weary and heavily-burdened” to come to Him to receive rest.

When our white-knuckled grip on life slips, then we become subject to our circumstances or to other people, which puts us at the mercy of outside influence and unkind fate. We struggle to get our grip back, to reassert our control, and then we try even harder to solidify our control. It becomes an exhausting, uphill battle. We’ve been taught that this is just the way it is, the only way one can succeed at life. But it doesn’t have to be this way. We can surrender up this machinery and let God take over its operation, as He offers a completely different model for living.

The truth is that control is an illusion. We never really have as much control as we believe. Our lives and circumstances can spin out of control with just a little shove. Something happens we can’t foresee. Trusted people let us down. Bad fortune comes out of nowhere. We try to plan for all scenarios, but we are fooling ourselves to think we have it all covered because it is impossible to prepare for everything. And if we are scrambling to do it out of fear, then it is fear, not you, that is in control. Given that we can’t truly control our circumstances, I suggest that we stop trying. I’m not saying that we stop planning. I’m saying that we stop trying to exert control over our lives, that we stop trying to enforce our wills, that we embrace surrender instead.

A Definition of Spiritual Surrender

Surrender is the opposite of control. It is a letting go, in contrast to taking hold and dominating. I’m not suggesting that we surrender ourselves to our circumstances. That would be defeatist. Instead, we surrender ourselves to God, entrusting our circumstances to Him. Now, this surrender has many levels, mostly because we generally only surrender what we perceive to be already out of our control. People sometimes choose surrender out of desperation when they find themselves at the end of their rope, but desperation surrender usually only lasts until we find our footing again. Regardless of how we initially embrace surrender, it can be a starting point, but the path to peace requires a fuller surrender. This means that we surrender not just what is out of our control, but those things that we are fiercely and firmly controlling.

Surrender is not an apathetic giving up. Apathy implies that one stops caring altogether, that one ceases to value one’s situation. In surrender, we entrust what we care about to the guardianship of God. Surrender is a willful action, whereas apathetic giving up is an abdication of will, an abandonment of healthy self-regard, as nothing seems to matter anymore. With surrender, we choose to matter to ourselves, and we entrust our lives to God because our life matters.

Surrender is a state of being. It is not a one-time act. We continually relinquish our control and yield our lives to God, trusting Him with the reins of our lives, believing He is better equipped than us to manage our lives. For those who think that giving up control to God is foolish, I say that one must give God the opportunity to show Himself capable, instead of dismissing Him immediately. There is nothing that is beyond God’s capability. He is greater than our circumstances. However, God is not one to be controlled, so one must park one’s expectations outside the door, and let God be God in His own way and timing. Yet, God’s delight is to show Himself to those who seek Him (Matthew 7:7-8).

Jesus teaches that when we seek God’s kingdom first (Matthew 6:33), then the things that we worry about, the things that we try to control, will be taken care of by God. Jesus is challenging us to put God’s priorities first. Said differently, if we dedicate ourselves to what God cares about, to His priorities, then God will commit Himself to addressing the things we care about.

The Importance of Trust

Given that surrender is a releasing of control, it implies that we also relinquish our expectations, our need for predictability, our reliance on desired outcomes. We must, therefore, trust. Surrender without trust is terrifying. Taking little steps, we surrender and trust, entrusting to God what we have surrendered. In my book, Four in the Garden, Creator explains that “trust grows by trusting.” By choosing to trust, we grow in trust, until we can relax into our trust in God. It is then that we find peace in our surrender. It is then that we are liberated from the exertion and burden of having to control our lives.

Surrender is not only a state of being, but also a process. As we learn to trust, we find courage to submit more of our lives to God. We learn to surrender our priorities to His, our will to His, our agenda to His. We surrender our fears and insecurities in exchange for spiritual confidence in His ability to direct our lives, to nurture us even in the midst of hardship. Finally, we reach a point where we find the courage to surrender our very selves to Him, after He has nudged us lovingly to that precipice where we can step off that frightening cliff and discover that He will catch us and uphold us, even enable us to fly. It’s the familiar “push the bird out of the nest” analogy, but the choice is ours, the choice between staying where we are or trusting God more fully in willful surrender.

Choosing Vulnerability

Surrender requires vulnerability before God. Vulnerability is an intentional dropping of our defenses, a setting aside of our self. I think this is the hardest and scariest thing to do, but it’s the only way that God can get hold of us. When we make ourselves vulnerable, we give God permission to be God within our lives, giving Him the freedom to be real and the freedom to remove any obstacles that get in the way of that spiritual reality. Because vulnerability leaves us exposed, that is why learning to trust God is so important. As we risk trust, we find the capacity for surrender. If the risk feels too daunting, then we honestly admit our fears to God and ask Him for courage so we can trust.

The Liberation of Trustful Surrender

The liberation that comes from spiritual surrender is evidenced by the freedom from fear, the freedom from stress, the freedom from ultimate responsibility over our lives. Thus, we are free to live for God and for others, the burden of having to micro-manage our lives now in God’s hands. We still have to manage our affairs, but the weighty burden of that management is now lifted. Anything that we surrender to God becomes His, and by implication, His responsibility. So we can enter the rest that Jesus spoke of. He goes on to say in Matthew 11:30 that “His yoke is easy and His burden is light.” Trusting in ourselves is a weighty burden that we have to carry alone. When we put our trust in Jesus, then He offers to carry our load in exchange for His load, which is easy and light because it is rooted in love, grace, and humility, instead of control.

Questions for Reflection:

Can you recognize the areas in your life where you are exerting the most control?Which area of your life do you think you might be able to surrender and entrust to God?What scares you most about surrender? How might you address those fears?

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Rick Hocker is a game programmer, artist, and author. In 2004, he sustained a back injury that left him bed-ridden in excruciating pain for six months, followed by a long recovery. He faced the challenges of disability, loss of income, and mounting debt. After emerging from this dark time, he discovered that profound growth had occurred. Three years later, he had a dream that inspired him to write his award-winning book, Four in the Garden. His goal was to help people have a close relationship with God and to share the insights he gained from the personal transformation that resulted from his back injury. He lives in Martinez, California.

For more articles, visit http://www.rickhocker.com/articles.html
Website: http://www.rickhocker.com
Email: rick@rickhocker.com

Religion cannot nurture a dynamic relationship with God because such a relationship has to transcend the rigid structure inherent to religion. By its very nature, a dynamic relationship with God is fluid and growing and ever-fresh, whereas religion is a fixed blueprint for belief and behavior that confines us within its predetermined boundaries. You can have both religion and relationship, but religion alone doesn’t provide the impetus to propel you toward intimacy with God. That is a journey that requires you to break free from convention and to take risks that challenge your understanding of self and God. To do so, you must leave the safe realm of religion.

A Dynamic Relationship with God

Intimacy is a primary characteristic of any meaningful relationship. It is demonstrated by mutual transparency and vulnerability where we allow our real selves to be seen by the other. As we lower our guard before God and allow him to see us as we truly are, we allow his unconditional love to touch and heal our hidden selves. Eventually, we learn that God is a safe place for us to be completely honest and vulnerable, where we can courageously tell him our deepest fears and hurts. Intimacy works both ways. As we become real with God, God becomes real to us. James 4:8 says, “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.” God wants to show himself to us, but we must take the first step to show him our real selves, flaws and all. Psalm 145:18 says, “The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.” If we hope to experience God’s nearness, God expects us to approach him with full honesty and no pretenses.

In my book, Four in the Garden, Creator says to Cherished, “We can only touch the outermost layer of your being that you allow us to touch. When you set aside those defensive layers, we can reach into your soul and inhabit the deepest part of your being. When deep touches deep, we can share in each other fully. Mutual disclosure is the basis for intimacy.” As is true for any relationship, self-disclosure promotes intimacy with God. My most profound interactions with God were times when I was desperate enough to be completely honest about my deep need for his help and healing, but also times when I made myself bare before him and relished the absolute joy of being fully seen and fully loved by him.

A Personal History with God

Another aspect of relationship is shared history. This is the sequence of shared events that describe the course of a relationship over time; the memories and markers that add meaning and value to the relationship. A dynamic relationship with God includes these markers. I’m referring to answered prayers, gut-honest conversations, moments of spiritual insight and discovery, sorrow over one’s failings, wrestling with God over things we don’t understand or don’t want to do, times of heartfelt prayer, experiences of awe and wonder, or any experience where we connect to God in a memorable or meaningful way. I call this a “personal history with God.” It’s important to build a personal history with God as that anchors us during times of turbulence, giving us something real to fall back on when doubt sets in. If we walk through life with God at our side, then we will encounter him regularly along the way, especially if we are open and expectant. These interactions not only help create a history with God but also promote growth as we learn more about ourselves and God through such events.

If we want God at our side, then we must invite him. Jesus says in Revelation 3:20, “I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.” The picture described here is that of having a meal, a common activity where relationship occurs and is developed; an intimate setting where conversation and closeness happen. When we do invite Jesus into our lives, then he expects a place at the head of the table and we become the host that serves. He becomes the center of our lives and we step aside to let him run things as we trust him. It sounds scary to give our lives over to him. It took me weeks to gather the courage before I took that step, but I have learned, since that day, that he does a much better job of directing my life than I could ever do.

The Joy of Relationship

God is an expert at relationship. He created it. The members of the Trinity, the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, have been in constant communion from the beginning. This model relationship is characterized by intimacy and joy. When Jesus was baptized, the Holy Spirit descended on him and a voice came from heaven: “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.” This intimate moment demonstrated the love and affirmation shown within the Trinity. Within this holy relationship, each gives and receives from the other, respects the other, and loves the other. Through Jesus, we are invited to participate in this communion where we can interact with all three and experience a taste of the intimacy and joy of holy relationship. In its most profound expression, the deep sharing and communion of relationship results in joyful delight experienced in the union of spirit, the embrace of unconditional and rapturous love, and the absolute trust in and surrender to that love. This joy is the hallmark of God’s triune relationship and is something that he invites us into.

Religion: Ritual, Repetition, and Requirements

We must beware the trappings of religion as they can suffocate our relationship with God. Ritual provides us with meaningful touchstones for our faith, but they can become hollow if they devolve into outward practices where we just go through the motions. Even friends and family have rituals, like opening presents on Christmas morning, but if the meaning is lost, then they no longer serve to enhance relationship. In our relationship with God, we must guard against going through the motions. When that happens, we need to find new rituals that instill new meaning for us and that foster deeper connection to God.

Regarding repetition, Matthew 6:7-9 says, “And when you are praying, do not use meaningless repetition like the Gentiles do, for they suppose they will be heard for their many words. So do not be like them; for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him. This, then, is how you should pray: “Our Father in heaven….” In these verses, Jesus warns against the impotence of repetition. In the following verses, he then goes on to teach us how we should pray. The first two words set the stage for relationship when he starts with “Our Father.” Unfortunately, people have turned this example into a static prayer instead of a guide for meaningful, conversational prayer. Notice that Jesus is teaching us how to pray, not what to pray. Repetition can make any relationship stale. Relationships require new input and fresh activities in order to grow. Look for ways to move beyond repetition in your relationship with God in order to keep things fresh.

Religion establishes requirements that direct us toward behaviors that please God. The danger here is that rules and regulations can breed either resentment or fear. We may become resentful from having to follow strict rules. Or we may become fearful of punishment should we fail to follow them. In Matthew 22:37-40, Jesus says, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” When love is missing, then religion becomes a taskmaster and requirements become a heavy burden that brings no joy. The key here is relationship, where love can be fostered. We must focus on relationship over regulations. Focusing on regulations will smother love. When we focus on relationship, then love can bloom. When we cultivate a loving relationship with God, then we will want to do what pleases him. We would be like the psalmist in Psalm 40:8 who says, “I delight to do your will, O my God.”

An Eternal Relationship

Jesus says in John 17:3, “Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.” Jesus doesn’t define eternal life as living forever, as we would normally define it. Instead, he uses the relationship language of knowing God. He isn’t specifying knowing about God, but knowing God personally and experientially. In its truest sense, eternal life is being in relationship with God. This relationship is eternal because God is eternal and this relationship is life because God is life. By being in relationship with God, we are assured to live forever, because he lives forever. Those whom Jesus will reject will be those to whom he says, “I never knew you.”

Questions for Reflection:

Since God knows everything about you, why is it so hard to be honest with God?Can you identify three important milestones in your personal history with God?Which area in your relationship with God is the most stale? How might you correct that?

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Rick Hocker is a game programmer, artist, and author. In 2004, he sustained a back injury that left him bed-ridden in excruciating pain for six months, followed by a long recovery. He faced the challenges of disability, loss of income, and mounting debt. After emerging from this dark time, he discovered that profound growth had occurred. Three years later, he had a dream that inspired him to write his award-winning book, Four in the Garden. His goal was to help people have a close relationship with God and to share the insights he gained from the personal transformation that resulted from his back injury. He lives in Martinez, California.

For more articles, visit http://www.rickhocker.com/articles.html
Website: http://www.rickhocker.com
Email: mail@rickhocker.com

I created a new page at https://shepherd.com/best-books/fantasy-that-has-a-spiritual-theme to list my recommendations for fantasy books with a spiritual theme. This new book site uses book lists created by authors to help readers find books within specific categories. It’s a cool way to browse for books.

Where does God dwell? The scriptures teach us that God dwells in heaven, his holy habitation (Deuteronomy 26:15), but aren’t we also taught that God is everywhere? Being in a place isn’t the same as abiding there. God may be everywhere, but he doesn’t abide everywhere. Abide means to remain, dwell, or reside. I can think of five places, besides Heaven, where God makes his abode.

God is everywhere. The psalmist voices this in Psalm 139:7-10. “Where can I go to escape your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I ascend to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle by the farthest sea,even there your hand will guide me; your right hand will hold me fast.” God is so vast that he fills and encompasses all of his creation and nothing is hidden from him (Jeremiah 23:24). So, everything and every place is within God’s view and overshadowed by his Spirit, but his abiding presence is limited to those places where he chooses to dwell. It is in these places where God imbues more of his Spirit and where he is more deeply encountered.

God Dwells in Love Itself

I John 4:16 says that “God is love. Whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in them.” Where love is present, God is present, and since God is love, he dwells in love. If we love with God’s love, we invite God’s abiding presence into our midst. God makes his abode in love itself. So, when we are in the presence of unconditional love, then we are in the presence of God and can experience him and his love at such times.

The above verse also implies that when we dwell in love, God dwells in us, since God dwells in love. It’s a wonderful circular flow of love. If we seek to experience God more, then we should seek to love as God loves, as love is an invitation for God to abide in us.

God Dwells in the Present Moment

God experiences all time at once: past, present, and future. But it is the present moment that he inhabits. We humans tend to focus on the past or future, but the active presence of God is found only in the present moment. Our fretful forays into the past or future happen within our minds and shift our focus away from God. If we wish to experience God, we will more likely do so when we inhabit the present moment. The present moment is real, the only real realm available to us. The past and future are not real realms that we can interact with—they are mental constructs that we cannot inhabit except through our memory or vivid imagination. When we inhabit the present moment, we engage what’s real and we can engage God who inhabits this present reality.

In my book, “Four in the Garden,” Creator says, “Only in the present, where We make Our abode, will you find Us and the peace We give.” Rehearsing the past or obsessing about the future doesn’t bring peace. God can give us peace if we stay anchored to the present and we entrust our past and future to him. With God’s help, we manage the present, moment by moment. When we jump out of the present, we cut ourselves off from God by engaging our repetitive mind.

God Dwells in Jesus

Colossians 1:19 says, “For God in all His fullness was pleased to dwell in Christ.” The fullness of God inhabits Christ who is the full expression of God. If there are degrees of indwelling, then Christ would be the most pure and glorious habitation of God, surpassing that of heaven itself. Christ is the image of the invisible God (Colossians 1:15). As such, he is the means by which we can understand and experience God because he is the revelation of God. By knowing and experiencing Christ, we come to know and experience God.

God Dwells in our Hearts

Ephesians 3:16-17 says that Christ dwells in our hearts through faith and that God’s Spirit is planted in our inner being. In John 14:23, Jesus says, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them.” The Father and Jesus offer to make their home in our hearts if we love and obey Christ. Our hearts become a dwelling place for his Spirit. We become a holy habitation for the triune God. Jesus knocks on the door of our hearts (Revelation 3:20) and we invite him to take up residence within us where we can have intimate relationship with him. He does not enter unless we invite him to do so by faith. Once Christ takes up residence in us, he is available to be our beloved companion and master over our lives.

God Dwells Among His People

2 Corinthians 6:16 says, “For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said, ‘I will dwell with them and walk among them, and I will be their God and they will be my people.’” In this verse, Paul teaches that Christ’s followers constitute God’s temple and habitation, made of people, not stones. This implies that God can be found in the midst of his people, and not in a specific location, such as a physical temple. We already concluded that God is everywhere, but it seems that the Spirit of God is especially present when his people gather to honor and worship him. God’s Spirit dwells in our hearts, but when we collectively function as God’s temple, he also dwells in our midst. Not only can believers experience God in this circumstance, but anyone who is present in this setting can experience God as well, because God’s Sprit is present.

In conclusion, if we seek out these places where God dwells, we will more likely be able to experience God. Better yet, if we can create a place within our hearts to be his abode and invite him there, then we can experience God in the most intimate way.

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Rick Hocker is a game programmer, artist, and author. In 2004, he sustained a back injury that left him bed-ridden in excruciating pain for six months, followed by a long recovery. He faced the challenges of disability, loss of income, and mounting debt. After emerging from this dark time, he discovered that profound growth had occurred. Three years later, he had a dream that inspired him to write his award-winning book, Four in the Garden. His goal was to help people have a close relationship with God and to share the insights he gained from the personal transformation that resulted from his back injury. He lives in Martinez, California.

For more articles, visit http://www.rickhocker.com/articles.html
Website: http://www.rickhocker.com Email: rick@rickhocker.com

How often have you compared yourself to others? “He’s more outgoing than me. I wish I were more compassionate like her.” After such comparisons, we judge ourselves inferior and then pressure ourselves to imitate those people. We assume we’re “supposed” to be like them.

You Are Unique

But you’re unique by God’s design. When I realized I’m not supposed to be like everyone else, I finally gave myself permission to be an introvert. Instead of resenting my differentness, I learned to embrace it, even celebrate it. I discovered I could stop comparing myself to others because they were no longer the mirrors by which I had to judge myself.

Each of us is intended to be a reflection of God, but a unique reflection of that same God. The infinite God is multi-faceted, so each of us offers a mirrored facet that reflects God through our unique personalities, all of us comprising a giant disco ball that catches the light as it spins. Our individual facet combines with all the other facets to offer a fuller picture of God. We contribute a tiny part toward the whole.

Think of the massive sun dispersing rays of light into the universe. God has given each person a ray of His light to shine forth. These rays, when unimpeded, gather together to create a brilliance like the sun. God is light and the fullness of light. The light you’ve been given by God is yours alone and has its own unique signature. My light is not your light. We don’t need to compare each other. Instead, we can choose to be the light that we are, our singular light, our unique reflection of God.

God’s Spectrum

The electromagnetic spectrum is a diverse and widely spread range of frequencies and wavelengths of energy, from x-rays to visible light to microwaves. In the same way, God has created a diverse spectrum of humanity, each person contributing a unique wavelength to the whole. Some people are conspicuously visible like the colors of the rainbow, but visible light is only a tiny segment of the entire spectrum. Humans can’t see some wavelengths of light, such as infrared or ultraviolet, so the talents of some people go unnoticed, yet they still contribute to the full expression of God. God notices these talents since He can see the entire spectrum, both visible and invisible.

In a sense, God radiates across the entire spectrum and we’re particles that emit energy, with our own unique vibration, to fill out this divine spectrum. So, be the light that you are. The more you become that light, the more you become who you are. I love this statement by Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee from his book Love is a Fire: “…each created thing glorifies Him (God) just through being itself…” We reflect God most by being ourselves, not our outward selfish selves, but by being our inward true selves. When we live out of our authentic selves, our souls shine forth and God shines forth through our souls as light passing through clear prisms.

Being Ourselves

We don’t need to try to be like someone else. The better task is to discover our authentic, unique selves and nurture that to fullness. In doing so, God is made manifest to us and to those around us. Not only do we connect to God more profoundly by being our true selves, but also we can connect to ourselves in a deeper way than ever before.

In my book, Four in the Garden, Creator told the angel Radiance that she had been given a drop of His glory. Later, she realizes that this drop of glory is the same as her inner self. In response to that realization, she says with astonishment, “So if I allow my inner self to come forth, then Creator’s glory is revealed.” Our uniqueness is the glory of God manifest and an expression of His uniqueness. Our authentic self brings glory to God as the true God is reflected through our true self.

Jesus said it well by saying, “You are the light of the world. People do not light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” (Matthew 5:14-16).

Questions for Reflection:

Describe some traits or talents that make you unique.What traits or talents do you keep hidden from others because you think they are too unusual or easily misunderstood?How might God be seen in those traits or talents?How might you offer those traits or talents to bless others?

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Rick Hocker is a game programmer, artist, and author. In 2004, he sustained a back injury that left him bed-ridden in excruciating pain for six months, followed by a long recovery. He faced the challenges of disability, loss of income, and mounting debt. After emerging from this dark time, he discovered that profound growth had occurred. Three years later, he had a dream that inspired him to write his award-winning book, Four in the Garden. His goal was to help people have a close relationship with God and to share the insights he gained from the personal transformation that resulted from his back injury. He lives in Martinez, California.

For more articles, visit http://www.rickhocker.com/articles.html
Website: http://www.rickhocker.com Email: rick@rickhocker.com

“I believe that God is in me as the sun is in the colour and fragrance of a flower ­– the Light in my darkness, the Voice in my silence.” —Helen Keller.

Most of us think of God as being outside, up there, or elsewhere. “He is high and lifted up,” said the prophet Isaiah. And shouldn’t He be since He is so holy? What’s remarkable is that the God who dwells in unapproachable light (1 Timothy 6:16) can also dwell in us feeble and broken humans and is willing to do so. “Do you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?” (1 Corinthians 3:16).

One of my most life-changing insights was when God showed me what resided at my spiritual center. I had expected something dark or sinister, but what I beheld at my deepest core blew me away. It was God Himself. I already believed that God’s Spirit dwelt inside me, but I’d been taught that the Spirit ebbed and I needed to ask to be refilled every day as if my spiritual tank would run dry if I didn’t. It had never occurred to me that God was an enduring and integral part of my spiritual makeup. God is the foundation onto which my soul is built.

God Within Us

Water drops in the atmosphere, such as those in clouds, are created when water vapor condenses on tiny particles of dust. At the center of every water drop is a tiny particle. I now see my soul in the same way. My soul is wrapped around a tiny particle of God, but this particle is infinite, boundless. If I were to plunge into my innermost center, I would find God in His fullness. The deeper I descend into the ever-tighter center-point, the more spacious the view.

When shopping yesterday, I became awestruck on realizing that everyone around me was also a God particle wrapped in a soul. People have inestimable value because they carry God within them. Each of us contains a “drop of glory.”1

St. Teresa of Avila was a sixteenth-century nun and mystic who wrote Interior Castle. In her book, she described the soul as a castle with a series of mansions though which one journeys toward the central mansion. She wrote that God’s mansion “is the centre of the soul itself.”2 I interpret her statement to mean that God Himself dwells at our innermost center.

Flow From Within

In my book, Four in the Garden, Cherished learned that he could connect to Creator via a special connection found at his innermost center. This divine connection was called an umbilicore. It functioned as a spiritual umbilical cord from which he received nourishment from Creator. As in the story, God dwells inside us at our center, and His Life flows outward to nourish our souls.

God’s Spirit or God’s Life is often described as a spring of water that wells up inside us. In John 7:37, Jesus said, “He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, ‘From his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.’” The flow of living water comes from our innermost center because that’s where God dwells.

God’s Accessibility

Having God at my center implies that God is always accessible to me. I used to view God like a switch that would get turned off if I felt unworthy or guilty. I pictured Him as moving further away depending on my behavior. Then I would have to work to close the gap between us. But, now, I only need to find God at my center, and my experience of God is almost immediate. It sounds too easy.

Believing that I’m connected to God enables my connection. Feelings of doubt will shut it down. If I don’t believe that I can connect to God, then I don’t. Unworthiness or guilt still interfere, but the best cure for those things is connecting to God. So I push past those feelings, find God, and connect to Him, then those feelings fade away.

I realize that what I’m describing is not most people’s experience of God. God is elusive or distant for most. My intent in writing this is to declare that God is not far away from you. He is closer than you think, closer than your own breath. He is at your innermost center and available to you. We haven’t been taught how to look for God. We don’t know how to look inward, but that’s where God is found. It’s also where your soul is found. Navigating the soul’s treacherous terrain requires courage. To find God, we much deal with the stuff in our souls because that stuff gets in the way.

Press in. Dig deep. Gaze into your soul. Deal with your stuff. If you persevere, you will encounter God. The goal isn’t to encounter God or to connect to God although those experiences can be fulfilling. The true goal is to fall in love with God and to nurture a relationship with Him. In the context of relationship we come to know God in a way that transcends what we read in a book. God becomes real to us, and we become a conduit as He flows out from our innermost being into the lives of others.

Read a revised version of this article at https://cac.org/the-god-particle-2018-10-10/.

1 Rick Hocker, Four in the Garden, page 185
2 St. Theresa of Avila, Interior Castle, page 154

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Rick Hocker is a game programmer, artist, and author. In 2004, he sustained a back injury that left him bed-ridden in excruciating pain for six months, followed by a long recovery. He faced the challenges of disability, loss of income, and mounting debt. After emerging from this dark time, he discovered that profound growth had occurred. Three years later, he had a dream that inspired him to write his award-winning book, Four in the Garden. His goal was to help people have a close relationship with God and to share the insights he gained from the personal transformation that resulted from his back injury. He lives in Martinez, California. For more articles, visit http://www.rickhocker.com/articles.html Website: http://www.rickhocker.com Email: rick@rickhocker.com

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Where does God dwell? The scriptures teach us that God dwells in heaven, his holy habitation (Deuteronomy 26:15), but aren’t we also taught that God is everywhere? Being in a place isn’t the same as abiding there. God may be everywhere, but he doesn’t abide everywhere. Abide means to remain, dwell, or reside. I can think of five places, besides Heaven, where God makes his abode.

God is everywhere. The psalmist voices this in Psalm 139:7-10. “Where can I go to escape your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I ascend to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle by the farthest sea,even there your hand will guide me; your right hand will hold me fast.” God is so vast that he fills and encompasses all of his creation and nothing is hidden from him (Jeremiah 23:24). So, everything and every place is within God’s view and overshadowed by his Spirit, but his abiding presence is limited to those places where he chooses to dwell. It is in these places where God imbues more of his Spirit and where he is more deeply encountered.

God Dwells in Love Itself

I John 4:16 says that “God is love. Whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in them.” Where love is present, God is present, and since God is love, he dwells in love. If we love with God’s love, we invite God’s abiding presence into our midst. God makes his abode in love itself. So, when we are in the presence of unconditional love, then we are in the presence of God and can experience him and his love at such times.

The above verse also implies that when we dwell in love, God dwells in us, since God dwells in love. It’s a wonderful circular flow of love. If we seek to experience God more, then we should seek to love as God loves, as love is an invitation for God to abide in us.

God Dwells in the Present Moment

God experiences all time at once: past, present, and future. But it is the present moment that he inhabits. We humans tend to focus on the past or future, but the active presence of God is found only in the present moment. Our fretful forays into the past or future happen within our minds and shift our focus away from God. If we wish to experience God, we will more likely do so when we inhabit the present moment. The present moment is real, the only real realm available to us. The past and future are not real realms that we can interact with—they are mental constructs that we cannot inhabit except through our memory or vivid imagination. When we inhabit the present moment, we engage what’s real and we can engage God who inhabits this present reality.

In my book, “Four in the Garden,” Creator says, “Only in the present, where We make Our abode, will you find Us and the peace We give.” Rehearsing the past or obsessing about the future doesn’t bring peace. God can give us peace if we stay anchored to the present and we entrust our past and future to him. With God’s help, we manage the present, moment by moment. When we jump out of the present, we cut ourselves off from God by engaging our repetitive mind.

God Dwells in Jesus

Colossians 1:19 says, “For God in all His fullness was pleased to dwell in Christ.” The fullness of God inhabits Christ who is the full expression of God. If there are degrees of indwelling, then Christ would be the most pure and glorious habitation of God, surpassing that of heaven itself. Christ is the image of the invisible God (Colossians 1:15). As such, he is the means by which we can understand and experience God because he is the revelation of God. By knowing and experiencing Christ, we come to know and experience God.

God Dwells in our Hearts

Ephesians 3:16-17 says that Christ dwells in our hearts through faith and that God’s Spirit is planted in our inner being. In John 14:23, Jesus says, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them.” The Father and Jesus offer to make their home in our hearts if we love and obey Christ. Our hearts become a dwelling place for his Spirit. We become a holy habitation for the triune God. Jesus knocks on the door of our hearts (Revelation 3:20) and we invite him to take up residence within us where we can have intimate relationship with him. He does not enter unless we invite him to do so by faith. Once Christ takes up residence in us, he is available to be our beloved companion and master over our lives.

God Dwells Among His People

2 Corinthians 6:16 says, “For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said, ‘I will dwell with them and walk among them, and I will be their God and they will be my people.’” In this verse, Paul teaches that Christ’s followers constitute God’s temple and habitation, made of people, not stones. This implies that God can be found in the midst of his people, and not in a specific location, such as a physical temple. We already concluded that God is everywhere, but it seems that the Spirit of God is especially present when his people gather to honor and worship him. God’s Spirit dwells in our hearts, but when we collectively function as God’s temple, he also dwells in our midst. Not only can believers experience God in this circumstance, but anyone who is present in this setting can experience God as well, because God’s Sprit is present.

In conclusion, if we seek out these places where God dwells, we will more likely be able to experience God. Better yet, if we can create a place within our hearts to be his abode and invite him there, then we can experience God in the most intimate way.

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Rick Hocker is a game programmer, artist, and author. In 2004, he sustained a back injury that left him bed-ridden in excruciating pain for six months, followed by a long recovery. He faced the challenges of disability, loss of income, and mounting debt. After emerging from this dark time, he discovered that profound growth had occurred. Three years later, he had a dream that inspired him to write his award-winning book, Four in the Garden. His goal was to help people have a close relationship with God and to share the insights he gained from the personal transformation that resulted from his back injury. He lives in Martinez, California.

For more articles, visit http://www.rickhocker.com/articles.html
Website: http://www.rickhocker.com
Email: rick@rickhocker.com

Why are some people so unwilling to listen to the other side? It’s because they’re convinced their side is right. People won’t listen if their minds are made up. How did they become so close-minded? Entrenched thinking often results from fear. People are afraid of losing their rights, privileges, protections, and freedoms. They are afraid of losing their security and safety. Their national, cultural, and racial identities are being threatened. Fear makes us dig in and fight. When we feel threatened, we aren’t open to discussion, but we will defend or attack. We hunker down and guard our position. The side that threatens us becomes our enemy. It works both ways. The people on the other side feel as threatened as we do.

When we aren’t given to fear, our stance can be more open, instead of a defensive or attack posture. With our guards down, we’re able to listen to the other side. Alternate viewpoints won’t threaten us because they won’t be taken as personal assaults. The more we’re afraid, the more we take things personally. Fear transforms external influences into threats against our person. If perfect love drives out fear (1 John 4:18), then love for our enemies is one way to reduce our fear of them.

Humility as a Response

Humility is another way to respond to opposition. Humility, in this context, means letting go of our need to defend ourselves. When our trust is fully in God, then God becomes our refuge and protector (2 Samuel 22:3). We entrust our cause to God and rely on Him to defend us. I’m not saying we can’t take up a cause, but our foremost cause should be love of neighbor, including those neighbors who disagree with us.

Brotherhood, love, understanding, and compromise are more important than defending our personal viewpoint. Viewpoints come and go, but faith, hope, and love endure forever (1 Corinthians 13:13). We must guard against identifying too much with any group or ideology. The more we do that, the more we have at stake and the more we have to defend. The most secure person has nothing at stake and nothing to lose. The possibility of loss is real, but it’s the fear of loss that steals our peace and makes us build walls. If we have placed our trust in God, then we shouldn’t be terrified of loss because God is more than able to take care of us through any adversity.

Setting Aside Our Egos

Humility is characterized by a willingness to accept loss. Are we willing to be found wrong? Sometimes, we’re afraid of being found wrong because it suggests ceasing to belong to a vital group, rejection by our peers, abandoning a long-held belief system, or a drastic change to our way of life. Are we willing to compromise and accept loss for the sake of unity? Are we willing to put aside our egos to make room for someone else’s ego? Egos jockey for position, so it feels painful to let someone else gain the upper hand. Yet Jesus teaches us to be a servant to all (Mark 9:35). We would do well to set our egos aside and look to bless others rather than expect others to bless us.

Humility expects us to relinquish our need to be right. What does that gain us anyway, except more strokes to our egos? If Jesus is to be our example, then life is more about losing than winning. He asks us to entrust everything to Him, even our very lives. We aren’t supposed to keep our lives, but lose them. “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” (Matthew 16:24-25). Christians have no entitlements, although many act as though they do. We give up our rights, privileges, protections, and freedoms. The only freedom we’re offered is freedom from fear and from the demands of ego so that we can live for God without inner and outer hindrances.

Dualistic Thinking

Dualistic thinking is “either/or” thinking that reduces judgments into two simple categories: good or bad. Dualistic thinking doesn’t allow for shades of gray or for opposite sides to be simultaneously true. It’s characterized by a belief that things are either right or wrong, true or false, valuable or worthless. It’s a convenient way to judge the world without having to invest oneself in the work of discerning subtleties of variation. When fear infiltrates dualistic thinking, then it can manifest as tribalism: us versus them; good guys against bad guys; we’re right and they’re wrong.

Non-dualistic Thinking

By contrast, non-dualistic thinking is inclusive “both/and” thinking that can hold multiple possibilities. This mature form of thought can sustain contradictions and opposites. Christian theology is rife with such mysteries: Jesus is both God and man; God is both one being and three persons; God is both beginning and end; He executes perfect justice and mercy. When we move away from dualistic thinking, then we can make room for both sides to have a measure of truth. No one side ever has the corner on truth, hence the need for humility. We grip our perceived “truths” too tightly because of our fear of losing them, when Truth is supposed to make us free from such fears (John 8:32). Genuine Truth cannot be lost, no matter what may threaten it, because God, who is the embodiment of that Truth, cannot be lost or threatened.

With a non-dualistic approach to the world, we allow opposites to coexist peacefully without having to pit them against each other. We believe that unity is possible when multiple viewpoints exist. I think this is what Jesus meant when He prayed that we, His people, be one. (John 17:21). Given the enduring diversity within His church, I doubt He meant we should all think alike. Oneness is the joining together of diverse parts, as illustrated by Paul’s example of the parts of the human body working together in harmony (Read 1 Corinthians 12:15-26). Unity is more about harmony than conformity.

Being a Peacemaker

We need to be careful when taking sides. Claiming that God is on our side has often been the basis for bloodshed. Let us claim to belong to God, instead of claiming that God belongs to us. Blessed are the peacemakers, Jesus said (Matthew 5:9). Peacemakers are bridge-builders who stand in the middle to create opportunity for two sides to move closer together. Give serious thought as to what being a peacemaker means to you during this time of great division.

Questions for Reflection:



What ideologies threaten you the most? Why do they have such an effect on you?
What advantages do you fear might be taken away from you? Can you trust God with such a loss?
What is your response to groups that threaten you? Do you get defensive or do you attack? What might be a third possible response from you?

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Rick Hocker is a game programmer, artist, and author. In 2004, he sustained a back injury that left him bed-ridden in excruciating pain for six months, followed by a long recovery. He faced the challenges of disability, loss of income, and mounting debt. After emerging from this dark time, he discovered that profound growth had occurred. Three years later, he had a dream that inspired him to write his award-winning book, Four in the Garden. His goal was to help people have a close relationship with God and to share the insights he gained from the personal transformation that resulted from his back injury. He lives in Martinez, California.

For more articles, visit http://www.rickhocker.com/articles.html

Website: http://www.rickhocker.com

Email: rick@rickhocker.com

What is your response to emotional pain? Do you shove it down or pretend it isn’t there or just hope it goes away on its own? We haven’t been taught how to deal with it. And it’s scary to face it head on, so we resort to resisting it, denying it, masking it, or blaming others. I suggest trying to develop a relationship with your emotional pain. That is the only way it can be fully healed.

This article specifically addresses emotional pain, not physical pain. We usually experience emotional pain in our bodies, but its origin is in our thoughts and emotions. Examples of emotional pain would be grief, extreme sadness, regret, crippling self-doubt, self-hatred, damaged self-esteem, profound shame, overwhelming anxiety, or unexpressed rage. The resulting emotional distress and mental anguish often disrupts our lives, hijacks our thinking, corrupts our behaviors, and manifests in our bodies as stress-related symptoms. It can take a huge toll on us.

 Pain is Not Our Enemy

Our attitudes toward our emotional pain will determine how we engage it. If we view it as terrifying or unbearable, we will seek to avoid it. The reality is that we can’t avoid it since it resides in us. So we employ methods of coping such as lashing out, self-harm, retreating into ourselves, addictions, obsessive-compulsive behaviors, or shutting down our emotional nature. These behaviors are attempts to manage or mask our emotional pain because we don’t know what to do with the pain we feel. More often, we unconsciously act out our pain though destructive behaviors.

The pain itself is not our enemy and shouldn’t be viewed as such. Pain is a by-product that results from an originating event or ongoing events. We need to separate the two as cause and effect. The pain itself is a symptom of something that is wrong or broken inside us. In this regard, pain functions as a messenger informing us that something needs attention. Our bodies use physical pain to tell us that some part is hurting and needs attention, such as when we tear a muscle. In this example, the muscle needs attention and care. The pain is secondary and serves to point to the cause (the muscle tear). Similarly, we need to follow our emotional pain to its source and address the cause.

Pain is Part of Life

Pain is a universal and necessary part of life, one part of the entire spectrum of the human experience. In my book, Four in the Garden, Cherished asks, “Why should I experience pain at all?” Ennoia answers, “The soul attains full maturation when transformed by life of which pain is an integral component.” Pain has the ability to teach, mature, and transform us, if we let it.

Twenty years ago, I struggled with severe low self-esteem that put me into a descending spiral of devaluing and rejecting myself, and withdrawing from others. Recognizing that I couldn’t rescue myself, I sought help. My emotional pain was an impetus to understand and address the thought patterns and triggering events that were at the root of my pain. In the end, I learned to value and accept myself more, to create better boundaries, and to look for affirmation from God and not others. I gained these benefits because I was open to learning from my pain.

Changing our Perspective

The truth is that emotional pain need not destroy you or last forever. All pain comes to an end and can be useful to make us better people. 2 Corinthians 4:17 says, “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” If you want to delve further into the spiritual purpose of pain, read this article.

My advice is that we cease judging emotional pain as something unbearable or awful, when the pain itself is a neutral messenger. Instead of focusing on your pain, focus on the cause of your pain that needs attention. When we change our negative and fearful attitudes toward pain, we are better prepared to deal with it in a healthy way.

First Steps of Relationship

Emotional pain is part of the package we get, like our families. When young, we learned to cohabit with our family members along with all their unpleasant traits. In the same way, we can learn to coexist with emotional pain. We don’t lock up our siblings so we don’t have to deal with them. Instead, we find ways to navigate our relationship with them. So we don’t lock up our pain, but allow it to have room to exist. In Four in the Garden, Cherished reflects on his emotional pain: “I decided to not hide it or hide from it, but just hold it in view and allow it to be. If I held it in the open, like a ladybug on my palm, maybe it would fly away. Whereas, an insect kept in a closed container stays in the dark and never escapes.”

When we begin a relationship with our emotional pain, we start by holding hands with it. That means to engage it and not shun it. We make ourselves open to it. We don’t judge it, but give it permission to be present in our lives.

Full Engagement

 Once we get comfortable holding hands with our emotional pain, we take it further. We increase our engagement by learning to sit with it. At this stage, we allow ourselves to feel it, without judgment. The point of this exercise is to understand it. Where does it reside in my body? What is its energy, texture, and temperature? How does it affect me, and my thoughts and behaviors? We do NOT ask how to get rid of it. Instead, we study it with curiosity and objectivity. As during courtship or dating, we get to know it. One benefit of this step is that our emotional pain becomes less mysterious to us, and, therefore, less threatening. We see it for what it is, not some looming, uncontrollable, terrifying menace.

Going further, we learn to hold our emotional pain with compassion. Anything that is a part of us, including our pain, is deserving of our mercy and grace as well as God’s mercy and grace. It is the lack of mercy and grace that turns matters into monsters. When we hold our pain with compassion, we give it value and permission to engage us.

We also learn to nurture our relationship with our emotional pain. By this, I mean we give it freedom and opportunity to open up to us. To use a dating analogy, we get people to open up to us when we drop our defenses and shift our focus off of ourselves and onto the other. When we drop our defenses and give earnest attention to our pain, it will open up to us and show us why it’s there and what beliefs are surrounding it. By lovingly engaging our pain, we create a space where it can speak to us and teach us about ourselves.

This is not easy to do. It takes a great amount of courage, patience, and compassion. No less than any other relationship worth investing in.

Pain’s Journey

Although I said that emotional pain is a part of us, it is not intended to remain a part of us. Pain has a journey to make and we can assist it in its journey. I equate it to a toxin in our bodies. Our bodies’ natural defense is to expel the toxin. In the same way, our souls seek to push our emotional pain outward to exit our beings. I remember a lady telling me she had been in a horrible car accident where glass shrapnel had entered her body. Years later, tiny glass shards began coming out through her skin. Her body had been slowly pushing the glass out of her body over time. Our souls desire to do the same thing with our painful emotions.

We shove things down because they hurt or scare us. If we keep doing so, we prevent them from making their natural outward journey to exit. Instead, we can cooperate with the process and assist our emotional pain to complete its journey and exit for good. To process our pain, we allow it to emerge. This can be scary because this is when our emotional pain is most prominently felt and most real to us. The help of a therapist or counselor may be needed for this step. If we fully feel our pain, then we give it an outlet and help it along in its journey outward.

Don’t be discouraged or surprised when past emotional pain arises out of the blue. This usually is a good thing. It means that your pain is ready to begin its journey and that you are ready to engage it. By all means, don’t shove it back down. It has emerged for a reason and it behooves you to discover the reason. Allow it to remain, commit it to God, and let it speak to you about its presence in your life. It need not terrify you. Instead, prepare yourself for a journey of discovery and healing.

When Pain Gets Stuck

When emotional pain is not dealt with, it remains with us and lodges in our being, sometimes for years. I believe it gets stored in our body at the cellular level. Unresolved pain has nowhere to go, no outlet, so it gets buried in us. The tragedy is that it ends up pervading our lives. It affects our thoughts and actions. And it can make us ill because it also affects our body as well as our souls.

I vividly remember an occasion when I was doing an exercise I had been taught by my therapist where I place my consciousness into different parts of my body. When I did so with my thighs, I was overwhelmed by intense feelings of shame. Not only that, but I was bombarded by memories of being shamed, all playing out in rapid succession in my mind like a flip book. To my astonishment, I discovered I had stored all this unresolved, unprocessed shame in that part of my body. Somehow, I had triggered a release of those painful memories along with an intense flood of emotions. I had locked those memories and feelings inside my body for years. What this tells me is that we literally carry our unresolved painful emotions with us in our bodies.

One helpful analogy is that of vomiting. As for me, I hate to vomit more than anything. When I have the stomach flu, I fight the urge to vomit and try hard to keep it down, but what I need is to vomit. Our bodies have the same pressing need to expel the negative emotions stored inside us. We must stop fighting to keep them down, but surrender to the natural urge and allow our bodies to expel those poisons and bring us into health again. We don’t want to get stuck, but keep moving forward even when it’s uncomfortable.

Completing the Journey

With our assistance, God’s assistance, and the help of others, emotional pain can complete its outward journey. It will cease to be locked inside of us, but released for good, no longer to torment us. Healing is possible, but it means fearlessly engaging your emotional pain. To process your pain, you must befriend it for a season in order to understand it and let it teach you. As you allow yourself to fully feel it, you give it permission to become real to you. When our pain becomes real to us, we are able to engage it and manage it, instead of minimizing it, denying it, or antagonizing it. Once our pain has become embodied in its true form—and less scary form—we enable it to make its intended journey to exit us completely.

God’s desire is that we be clear and full of light (Matthew 6:22), not baggage carriers. Yes, you CAN get rid of your baggage, but you must release your attachments to it and release your fear of the void and vulnerability that results when you let go of it. As you shed your emotional pain, you are freed to engage life more fully and to experience God to a deeper extent, as there is less to get in the way between you and God. 1 Peter 5:10 says, “After you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.” As we entrust our emotional pain to God, it may be painful, but God is committed to make us whole and more securely grounded in Him.

Questions for Reflection:

How would you describe your relationship with your emotional pain?
What scares you most about engaging your emotional pain?
What specific request would you ask of God to help you take the first step toward engaging your emotional pain?

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Rick Hocker is a game programmer, artist, and author. In 2004, he sustained a back injury that left him bed-ridden in excruciating pain for six months, followed by a long recovery. He faced the challenges of disability, loss of income, and mounting debt. After emerging from this dark time, he discovered that profound growth had occurred. Three years later, he had a dream that inspired him to write his award-winning book, Four in the Garden. His goal was to help people have a close relationship with God and to share the insights he gained from the personal transformation that resulted from his back injury. He lives in Martinez, California.

For more articles, visit http://www.rickhocker.com/articles.html

Website: http://www.rickhocker.com

Email: mail@rickhocker.com