Zoe Belew's Blog

[image error]Not Everything is as it Seems



Rating: 4/5 Stars

I graduated college, and the first book I reached for was The Haunting of Hill House. I will solemnly admit, my desire to read the book stemmed from everyone’s obsession with the Netflix series, but I was adamant not to watch the series until I read the book (even if it put me far behind).

The Haunting of Hill House begins by introducing us to Dr. John Montague, a scientist hoping to prove the paranormal is real. To do so, he rented the infamous Hill House, a hidden beacon of horror among the hills, to find a way to prove the paranormal is real. After writing list after list to various owners and paranormal sensitives, few responded to his call to the home, but those that did included Eleanor Vance, a spinster looking to escape the hum drum life she lives; Theadora, a rich and opulent woman who seeks out Hill House after arguing with her roommate; and Luke Sanderson, a thief and liar who happens to be the heir to Hill House (his mother put him up to this). Together, Dr. Mantague wants to house these “subjects” in the walls of Hill House to see if the stories of hauntings hold true or if they are all hearsay chatter. Later in the novel, we meet Mrs. Montague, Dr. Montague’s flamboyant wife with a spectacular interest in the paranormal, and Arthur Parker, the headmaster of a boy’s school.

The friendship among the characters begins at night, after their arrivals, with Dr. Montague revealing the history of the house – including many violent deaths which occurred in and around the home. The inhabitants begin to experience frightening going-ons in the house, including an unexplained force trying to get into Eleanor’s room, writings on the walls, and a ghostly family picnic. Eleanor, the main protagonist, is most affected by the events, having showcased a telekinetic ability in her childhood, and Theodora and Luke are often misguided on who sees what. With the introduction of Mrs. Montague and Arthur, reality comes into question as the events remain focused on one or two characters in particular. By the end of the book, all of the characters agree that Eleanor is in the most danger of possession, and they choose to send her away as a result. She is obstinate and refuses, but all things must come to an end.

SPOILERS AHEAD SPOILERS AHEAD SPOILERS AHEAD SPOILERS AHEAD

I am put together.

I am organized, timely managed, clean, responsible, and powerfully working every day to meet some goal I’ve created.

I am also paranoid, stressed, panicked, and struggling, and within the last 24 hours, I experienced two severe panic attacks for absolutely no plausible reason. Granted, I probably have too much on my plate between my jobs, classes, and extracurricular activities, and I’ve never hit such a point in which I thought I needed to reach out for help.

I’ve always had issues like this. I worry too much. I think too hard. I cry when I have no need to. My heart takes off like a rocket trying to escape my chest. I hyperventilate when my breathing should be completely normal. My body tenses up to the point of pain. I feel like I’m choking, or being choked, and my stomach turns to the point of nausea, sometimes leading to unnecessary gagging. I apologize for everything – especially when it is certainly not necessary (I often irritate my dad with it…Haha) I grow paranoid in my worry, and I create scenarios in my head that lead me to a panic, and I don’t know how to slow it down.

Therefore, today, I made the decision to try and find a way to mitigate these struggles I am having. My university offers on-campus counseling services, and I have never before reached out to them. “I’m fine. I’m doing well. It’ll pass.” That’s what I tell myself. Does it pass? Sure, usually, but it always comes back. And I am so tired of experiencing this struggle with only one person to truly talk to. I’m not comfortable taking it elsewhere. Is something wrong with me? That’s how it feels. It’s like losing yourself in your own head and having to swim to some surface that doesn’t exist. And I’m struggling to get there.

Maybe there is nothing wrong with me, maybe it’s in my head. Either way, I have made a movement to reach out and try and find a way to deal with these consistent issues and constant struggles I face.

There are changes I need to make, and this is my first step to finding a way to deal (or heal). From now on, I’m going to try and document my journey to control my stress and my anxiety, and I look forward to seeing what changes I can make.

Until after my first counseling appointment…

 

Dear My Failed First Major,

Having pretty much transferred my entire first year’s worth of credits because of Early College and Dual Enrollment credits, it never occurred to me that the major I chose as a high school student would change when I officially stepped foot on the university’s campus. I had this dream I would graduate with a degree in chemistry with a minor in math. I believed I would make the grades, graduate, and pursue a career in Cosmetic Production in a lab owned by Urban Decay or L’Oreal or MAC. This was the way I wanted to live my life, and this was the job position I desperately wanted once my college career ended.

Instead, all I got from my first semester was my very obvious lack of chemistry study ability, the fact I had hit my mathematics peak in calculus during high school, and the most important lesson I will ever learn as a university student.

Honestly? I despise you, Chemistry, and I loathe you, Mathematics.

However, I bare no ill will towards these avenues of education. Let me explain.

When I began my first semester of college, I had a bright outlook for chemistry, and I was incredibly excited to delve into a subject I adored in high school. I thought I had it in me to pursue this topic from an education standpoint, but as the grades started coming in, I began to wonder if chemistry and math are the real holders of my heart. Instead of flaking out, I set up a weekly session with a tutor and began meeting my teachers. I genuinely felt as though these avenues of extra aid would be the key to improving my grades and rebuilding my love for such subjects.

To say these options didn’t help is a lie, of course, but it was not as much as needed. Now, as – essentially – a first time college student, ending the first semester with a GPA below a 3.0 can be both jarring (especially as a 4.0 high school graduate) and supremely disheartening. To say my confidence took a blow is an understatement. So, for the first few weeks of Christmas break, I wallowed around a bit, thinking about the past semester and where things went wrong. My first thought actually did not include changing my major. First, I wanted to figure out what I could fix. These thoughts included the following:

Move closer to the teacher. 

This is essential to success. No, I’m not kidding. Do it. Get up there! Own that front row seat! No matter the size of the college, make that teacher learn your name. You’re paying them for your success as a student. Make them know you.

2. Update study habits.

Another essential. Studying, as I learned towards the end of the fall semester and first week of the spring semester, is not an accumulation of the amount of hours. I studied like it was my job my first semester. I’m talking 30 – 40 hours worth of study hours. If anything, my grades suffered. I didn’t study much in high school (Heard that often?), and it was a major shock to the system when I realized how different college is. Not because it’s difficult, but because I had no idea how to properly retain massive amounts of information at any given time. Short bursts of 30-50 minutes, 3 – 5 times a day, with a 5 – 10 minute break in between is the key. Trust me.

3. Identify weaknesses.

Everyone has an educational weakness. Bad at math? Find a way to get a tutor or see if you can set up weekly meetings with your teacher. English papers not up to par? See if your school has a writing center you can go to for edits. Utilize your campus.

4. Start a study group. 

Study groups are a great way to not only meet new people, but they can help with understanding course concepts as well. Chances are, if you don’t get it, someone else in your class does. Also, if possible, get at least one other student’s number for those days you miss. You gotta get those notes from somewhere.

5. Chill out and relax.

For me, this is one those of “easier said than done” avenues of torture. When it comes to my education, it takes precedence, and I can sometimes get a little carried away and burn myself out early. Don’t do this. There actually are more hours in the day than you think. You can make proper study time, but you also need time to step back and regroup from what you’re learning. Non-studious contemplation is a way for your brain to build connections and continue slaving away over the information you’ve fed it for the day. The brain works through course work even when you’re not consciously thinking of such things. This is why we can understand something better the next day.

6. Get involved.

Yes, you read that correctly. Education is very important. Feeling saddened by a lack of a social life or simply feeling lonely on campus can be detrimental. Despite what you may think, social lives affect other avenues of life, including education. It is important to get to know people which share your interests. It will help you be happier because you’re involved and accepted by a group of students you can go to for things other than your current courses. You not only make friends, but you can also find a way to relax (refer to #5). The happier and more calm a student is on campus outside of class, the more likely it is that grades will continue to rise. I speak from personal experience.

So, those are my top 6 tips for college/studying. Funny thing is, as much as these helped me, they never did help me in chemistry. I ended up changing my major to management with a minor in management information systems before the spring semester of my first year began. I took my time during Christmas break to really dig deep and analyze my personal desires for my education and future career. Luckily, my future didn’t change that much. I still want to work in the cosmetic business, but instead of making things, I can simply run everything. Given my personality, I definitely made the right choice and found my right major.

You, too, can find your major of choice. With a little effort and thinking, you can find where you belong.

So, to conclude, I want to say how grateful I am to My Failed First Major. Regardless of the grades or my GPA, I learned so much from that first semester experience, and I will never regret the time I put in to pass those classes. Every minute was worth it. All the hard work showed me I have it in me to do anything I put my mind to – educational or otherwise.

Thank you, My Failed First Major.

Sincerely,

The Student Who Found Major Right.

 

The Mafia Darling is my current WIP. Here is a brief synopsis of the novel:

James Wills is the Mafia Prince of Thieves and next-in-line for the throne as Mafia Don. When he gets pulled into a union between New York and Chicago, however, his world is thrown upside down as his bride-to-be assassin, and princess to the Carter Mafia, gets caught up in some risky business involving the deadly Russian Borya family. When Chicago goes belly up, and the prince and princess are tried in both love and business, can the Carter-Wills union still stand through the pressures of keeping the business alive, and can James protect the woman he just might grow to love? She’s the Mafia Darling, and he’s in over his head. Where will this journey lead this couple that seems only destined to fail before it even begins?

Playful Kiss

Main Cast:

Beak Seung Jo – Kim Hyun-Joong

Oh Ha Ni – Jung So-Min

Bong Joon Gu – Lee Tae-Sung

Yoon Hae-Ra – Lee Si-Young

Supporting Cast:

Hwang Geum-Hee – Jung Hye-Young

Baek Soo-Chong – Oh Kyung-Soo

Baek Eun-Jo – Choi Won-Hong

Oh Ki-Dong – Kang Nam-Gil

Synopsis

There’s always that one kid in school who can do everything. Unfortunately, Oh Ha Ni is not that type of kid. However, she is greatly infatuated with Baek Sung Jo, the heavily sought after golden boy with an IQ of 200 and the number one student…and he’s way out of her league. But with a little help from fate, maybe these two incredibly different people kind find what they’re missing within each other. That is, if they don’t kill each other first.

My Thoughts

This was one of my first dramas, so I may be just a bit biased when it comes to the overall portrayal of these beloved characters. Based on the manga Itazura na Kiss by Tada Kaoru, the story of Baek Sung Jo and Oh Ha Ni can be classified as the cliched high school sweetheart romance…but without the sweetheart…and practically without the romance. Still, I found the drama incredibly entertaining. Jung So-Min is lively and colorful in her adaptation, and I really loved her quirkiness and outlandish attitude and naivety. She portrayed the not so intelligent high school student with hilarity and grace. Kim Hyun-Joong is a personal favorite actor of mine, and he definitely played the stoic genius well. I was impressed with Kim Hyun-Joong’s ability to not break character ever so slightly in some scenes involved with Jung So-Min. His solid acting is a great testament to his character. The mother and father characters are both quirky and caring, and I truly felt the familial vibes. It was nice!

All that said, however, I cannot say I rank this drama high up on my list of things to re-watch. The story line seems a bit rushed, and there’s not as much character development as there probably should have been. Still, the pace can be nice since this is a drama that you can practically watch in one sitting without getting bored, which is awesome if you’re feeling up for a speedy binge!

BUT!

Baek Sung-Jo and Oh Ha Ni are characters you can easily fall in love with as they fall in love with each other. I found their interactions very sweet and quirky, showcasing their characters well. The actors did a great job at keeping the lives of the characters solid and unwavering so you are still able to get to know the characters well. Still, how the characters start is pretty much how they finish. Unlike the Taiwanese version (to be reviewed), the entire lives of the characters are forced into quick, snap shot episodes with very little, if any, development. Lucky for us, though, there is a YouTube special of the second half of Playful Kiss that give the development the original episodes needed. Not to mention, the special episodes are just so cute and adorable that you HAVE to watch them! Can’t have one without the other.

Overall, I give Playful Kiss three stars out of five for lack of development and such speedy pace. But there are definitely some great aspects of this drama, and I recommend it to anyone!

Have fun watching!

화이팅!

Hello, everyone!

It feels as though it has been forever since I have last updated anything for the Chosen Trilogy to let all of you know what’s going on and such. (Which I suppose it has, really, but that’s no excuse!). Anyway, I have been wanting to put this up for a while. For those of you that don’t know or are not keeping up with my Facebook page, I held a photography contest for the cover of my second novel, and it has officially been chosen, and I just wanted to take this time to share the cover with all of you!

So…here we go…

Yes! That is the official cover! I absolutely adore it! (I almost love it more than the first, but shhhh….we can’t let that spread too much…just kidding) Still, I am very happy and pleased with it, and I hope you all like it as well!

Anyway, thanks so much for checking in, and all links for my social media and where you can buy my novel is down below!

Have a wonderful day!

~ Zoe

Amazon:��http://www.amazon.com/Decimation-Chos...

Twitter: https://twitter.com/ZBelew_Official

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/ZBelewOfficialDecimation

YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/user/1EZCREATION

Are you a photographer? Do you want your photograph showcased? I am currently hosting a photography contest for the cover of the second novel in The Chosen Trilogy, Cataclysm! You will receive full recognition if your photo is picked, and it will be the cover of my next novel! If interested, all you have to do is upload your photo and send it to me in a message. The winner will be picked and notified as the photo is displayed on the page here as well as on Twitter, Instagram, and Goodreads. Contest ends on December 1! Get your photos ready. Best of luck to all that enter, and I can’t wait to announce the Chosen one!

The second installment in The Chosen Trilogy is….

 

 

 

Cataclysm.

 

It is in progress now, and I will be revealing more as the project continues to develop!

SOCIAL MEDIA

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ZBelewOffici...

Twitter: https://twitter.com/ZBelew_Official

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...

 

Hello, everyone! My novel, DECIMATION, is now on sale for $0.99 on Amazon in Kindle version!

Purchase it here:

Decimation (The Chosen Trilogy Book 1)

One question I always get asked is, “Do you ever write more than one book at a time?” 

Yes, I do, and I am right now. That being said, I think of the ability to write multiple books at a time similar to the skill of reading more than one book at any given time. However, many often wonder if this leads to…let’s say, a “downward spiral” in the content and edge of one story over another. I think not. With the way I write, though, it is easier for me to conjure one story while writing another. I find it easier to differentiate one story from another as long as there is a substantial, and very critical, line of content from one piece of writing to another. For instance, you would prefer to write one story from one series and another from a different series instead of writing the first and second book of one singular series. Also, it is not the thought of whether or not a writer can and will write two books at a time; it is the ability of a writer to conjure up enough ideas for two entirely different stories at any given time. And while I say I am writing two books at once, I do not work on both in the same day. I work on one one day, and then I work on the other the next day. Therefore, yes, the ability to write two books at once does exist, and, frankly, I encourage doing so. This is so because you don’t want to hold in too many ideas, and you don’t want to let good, solid inspiration go to waste. Put it out there; write it out. Take what you’ve got in your head and release it. 

The world is the best place for inspiration, but first, I have to create it. 

 

 

BUY YOUR COPY OF THE CHOSEN TRILOGY BOOK ONE: DECIMATION NOW:

Amazon: (paperback or Kindle) http://www.amazon.com/Decimation-The-...