Lorna Jackie Wilson's Blog

Words are like clouds. They float on my dreams. Their whispers are filed till they flow like a stream!Black Butterfly: The Journey - The Victory

My journey with writing began when I was approximately sixteen years of age. To that end, my first book was entitled, Black Butterfly: The Journey, the Victory. Initially, I did not publish the book because in the 1980s the content was viewed as too deep. In fact, a principal told me that the poetry that I wrote could be used in a discriminatory manner to block hiring or promotions. So, when the seed of fear was planted, I listened to the principal, and I didn't publish the poetry until 2014. Today, I regret that decision because so many people have told me that my poetry is so authentic and relatable and that it could have really helped others back then. So, I share my story to encourage anyone out there who has stories in their soul to release them. Don't wait for someone to validate your work. God will validate it! The literary art that dwells on the inside is not just for us. It is for others who are waiting for someone to articulate what they are trying to say or perhaps what they need to hear. To that end, Spillwords has published my signature poem, Black Butterfly on their beautifully crafted platform. It is from my book, Black Butterfly: The Journey, The Victory! https://spillwords.com/black-butterfly/ #Amazon

During these trying times, many parents are unsure as to the future of education and what many are calling the new norm. Does the new norm mean students will forever require protective masks? Does it mean students will no longer be able to embrace their family or friends with something as simple as a hug? Will a social distance of six feet remain indefinitely and what will happen to students’ ability to learn in a traditional school setting? Many students need that one-on-one connection with teachers and other students. At the end of the day, what measures are being put in place to ensure students remain connected to what matters most, i.e., the human touch? Maybe it’s time for the community to come together and provide valuable resources to one another. While many families are self-quarantining, students should be exposed to opportunities for safe learning, fun activities, and physical interaction. Some school districts have taken measures to install portable plexiguard shields in every classroom, similar to the way they have in many casinos. However, this is probably very expensive, and while it may provide a higher measure of safety or prevention, online learning is also an option. Yet, even the online environment should incorporate resources that allow parents, school districts, and communities to collaborate in a manner that ensures that students feel connected. For example, when a teacher is providing instruction, the student should be able to see their teacher, even if it's only virtually. In addition, students should have physical copies of the same textbooks that they see their teachers using; they need to touch it! Moreover, parents should be included and allowed to actively engage in student learning in a manner that allows a personal touch, maybe even find ways to involve the quarantining family member(s). Of course, these are just a few examples. I’m sure there are many others. Needless to say, our collective ideas could create a treasure trove of literary activities that are fun and engaging, especially now!

At the age of four, I was placed in foster care. There were four homes in total, yet only the last two, provided positive influence in my life. However, because of former abuse and pain, I began to journal. Unfortunately, harsh realities spilled into my journals. I was so thankful when my biological mother petitioned the court to regain custody of my siblings and I. So, when she passed away when I was only 13 years of age, I was devastated. To make matters worse, I found myself in the foster care system yet again. With consideration of the issues and challenges leading to foster care placement, one thing is for certain, a mother’s love is irreplaceable.

In retrospect, I can say that each foster home presented a new set of challenges with some traumatic experiences that no child should ever have to face. With this, there were also challenges that didn’t make it any easier. For example, the challenge to adapt to new surroundings, to bond with new parents and siblings, to adjust to new school settings, to fit in, find purpose, and more.

Undoubtedly, there was frustration and anxiety and while the foster care system’s primary goal seemed to ensure that financial needs and education were met, the psychological aspect of learning to adjust and overcome trauma, resulted in withdrawal.

I became as the caterpillar, trapped within a cocoon. Love and a longing to be accepted were desperately sought after; likewise, was the desire to be understood. Who nourishes the soul, the spirit, and the mind? Who holds the hand of the little girl and tells her, she’s going to be okay? I am so thankful to have had a foster mother that supported emotional development and overall wholeness.

While my journal illustrated the life of a foster child and youth-in-crisis, its poetry and prose spoke to the silence of loss and gave voice to unspoken realities that foster children may face when voice became lost among political processes. To bring awareness to the foster care experience for those currently in foster care and those aging out, I published the journal as “Black Butterfly: The Journey – The Victory.”

As a former foster child, it is my belief that the overall plan for emotional health should incorporate supports that positively influence social and emotional development; this includes, the team and wrap-around concepts, and sustainable solutions. Today, I give back by encouraging others to overcome trauma and fulfill their purpose. To paraphrase, no one desires to be a caterpillar trapped within a cocoon. When a butterfly spreads its wings, only then will we see its true beauty and strength! Black Butterfly: The Journey - The Victory

On the journey to success, there are numerous considerations with progressive movement. Many of us plan, set goals, and put in the work that is hoped to lead to accomplishment. However, when that work does not lead to accomplishment, we may become frustrated; especially when we don't see the fruit of our labor. Yet, at some point, we must consider the path taken to position ourselves for success as well as the obstacles. With that being said, let's consider a few obstacles and motivators:

Preparation
With a bountiful harvest, a seed is planted, properly fertilized, and watered. When this happens, eventually there is growth. This is also true with the law of reaping and sewing. Now, while this topic might be controversial, depending on your beliefs or values, the personal satisfaction that comes with helping others attain what we would like to attain for ourselves is a significant consideration.

"The liberal soul shall be made fat and he that watereth shall be watered himself." (Proverbs 11:24-25)

While spiritual laws with success are major considerations, reflection on everyday influences are important as well. For example, what happens when the chosen career path is based on parental preference rather than on passion or personal interest? In this case, career path may be temporary.

There are also prerequisites with roles and responsibilities for the selected career path. For example, a student is in their first semester of college and finds that it is not at all what they expected. When this happens, some students drop out and others change career paths, wasting valuable time and money.

Another consideration is economy, the job market, and its role toward achieving goals. In this regard, it's important to research careers of preference that are high in demand, as well as expected salary, before selecting a career path.

What about the people that need to be nudged out of their comfort zone; especially, among those that are cared for by parents, family, or friends? If we become enablers to our loved ones, it may impede progress. Remember, the best support will challenge us to reach our potential!

Circle of Friends
Let’s consider our circle of friends. Sometimes we align ourselves with the wrong type of people. Consider a person once thought to be a friend, only to find out they were contributing to conversations that questioned your integrity. This is not only disappointing but may create an element of stress, impede progress, or sever important connections.

Then there are times when good advice is received but we shun the very people that are trying to help us; yet, another obstacle impeding progress. So let's consider motivators:

Have we considered personality types and how this may impact our tolerance of others?
For example, Type A personalities are competitive high achievers, having a sense of time urgency, while Type B are more relaxed and laid back. Type C are very assertive and detail-oriented, while type D are very pessimistic, having more of negative outlook on life.

Needless to say, a person with Type D personality may find difficulty tolerating Type A and Type A may find difficulty tolerating Type B. Therefore, understanding your circle of friends and how they relate to your personality type can make a huge difference with achieving higher levels of tolerance. This may also serve to help better understand your triggers of stress.

Of course, with all types of personalities, there are no guarantees that relationships developed will be in agreement with our views, opinions, or goals. Yet, it is always important to have an open mind, be an active listener, and consider opinions before making final conclusions.

“A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1)

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” (Ephesians 4:2)

Network of Connections
We need to align ourselves with people that communicate positive change. Case and point, if you find yourself in a network where there are too many leaders and not enough people willing to resolve conflict or get the job done, seek an appropriate moderator. If one cannot be located, it’s best to seek networks with goals more closely matched to your own.

Additionally, be cautious with networks that include groups that have similar interests while having agendas far removed from your own agenda; this can waste so much valuable time. Ensure that your connections are like-minded and that your plans lead to the same goal.

In closing, a career counselor is always a good resource for selecting your career path; however, it is also important to note where we are on our journey; especially, as it relates to obstacles and motivators with achieving success. If after careful review, obstacles are identified as impeding progress with attainment of goals, we must reposition ourselves and get back on the right track.

Consider as many variables that have direct bearing on achieving goals as possible including your faith, values, and beliefs. Write them down. Note, your personality type, identify your career path, sew into someone else's life, and continue to do the work. If at the end of the day, you find that you are still not in the place you thought you should be, consider that you may be in the place that God would have you to be based on the seeds that you have sewn and the work that you have completed.

"The hardworking farmer should be the first to receive a share of the crops. Reflect on what I am saying, for the Lord will give you insight into all this." (2 Timothy 2: 6-7)

"For I know the plans that I have for you declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11)