Steven Welch's Blog
January 20, 2019
Elise and The Butcher of Dreams
I'm excited to let you know that my next book is now available for Kindle as a pre-order, or you can purchase the paperback on Amazon today! If you choose to get onboard, I hope you enjoy the adventure. Cheers!
https://www.amazon.com/Elise-Butcher-...
https://www.amazon.com/Elise-Butcher-...
May 27, 2018
Fantastic Virtual Classroom Interview
A big shout out to the amazing FLVSFT/Connections Academy teachers and students who welcomed me for their author's live book-reading and Q&A. I had a great time and I hope that the students who won my book in their raffle enjoy the story!
March 25, 2017
It's the Apocalypse Sale!
Life devoid of death jellies and assassins cloaked in chromatophore skin? It's your luck frickin' day! Until March 31st you can buy "Elise and the Astonishing Aquanauts" for Kindle at the shocking price of .99 cents. It's the Apocalypse Sale! Don't wait until the offer runs out...or the oceans run dry...or you're eaten by something with tentacles.
Elise and The Astonishing Aquanauts
Elise and The Astonishing Aquanauts
January 4, 2017
The Forgotten Adventures
In 1967, inspired by the success of the James Bond novels, the secretive team of French explorers known as Les Scaphandrier seized upon the notion of introducing their adventures in literary form.
They unexpectedly commissioned an obscure American pulp fiction writer and gender confused exotic dancer, Emmitt “Lacy” LeBouf. His mission was to craft a series of men’s adventure stories using the actual exploits of the team as a rough template.
The fevered imagination of LeBouf, inflamed by a growing addiction to paint fumes, crafted a bizarre series of “Astonishing Aquanauts” pulp novels that are now quite rare, as most copies went unsold and were sent to Jordan by the Red Cross in 1978 as part of a Bedouin outreach program. The Bedouins, unimpressed, used the books as kindling for communal fires or to startle children. Several of the works were recently discovered in the Jordanian port city of Aqaba as part of a Western Memorabilia collection compiled by a fisherman named ShuShu. These books are sadly not for sale, although Mr. ShuShu will describe them in some detail for a nominal fee or a vigorous scalp massage.
As luck would have it though, number 27 in the series, “Kill, Mermaid, Kill, Kill, Kill!” was recently discovered at an Adult Novelty Shop in Palatka, Florida.
The badly worn copy had found new life as the pedestal for a disturbing sculpture of two body-builders molesting a manatee, but the interior pages were intact.
Reading the book in one sitting is not recommended and has been described by one appalled bibliophile as akin to swallowing a gallon of warm tapioca pudding laced with peach schnapps.
With that in mind, the estate of Les Scaphandrier now makes it available for the first time as a serialized novel.
Chapter One, “Mommy, Make it Gurgle,” will be presented free of charge through eliseandtheaquanauts.com in the near future.
As the legendary leader of Les Scaphandrier, Jules Valiance, once said, “make of it what you will.”
They unexpectedly commissioned an obscure American pulp fiction writer and gender confused exotic dancer, Emmitt “Lacy” LeBouf. His mission was to craft a series of men’s adventure stories using the actual exploits of the team as a rough template.
The fevered imagination of LeBouf, inflamed by a growing addiction to paint fumes, crafted a bizarre series of “Astonishing Aquanauts” pulp novels that are now quite rare, as most copies went unsold and were sent to Jordan by the Red Cross in 1978 as part of a Bedouin outreach program. The Bedouins, unimpressed, used the books as kindling for communal fires or to startle children. Several of the works were recently discovered in the Jordanian port city of Aqaba as part of a Western Memorabilia collection compiled by a fisherman named ShuShu. These books are sadly not for sale, although Mr. ShuShu will describe them in some detail for a nominal fee or a vigorous scalp massage.
As luck would have it though, number 27 in the series, “Kill, Mermaid, Kill, Kill, Kill!” was recently discovered at an Adult Novelty Shop in Palatka, Florida.
The badly worn copy had found new life as the pedestal for a disturbing sculpture of two body-builders molesting a manatee, but the interior pages were intact.
Reading the book in one sitting is not recommended and has been described by one appalled bibliophile as akin to swallowing a gallon of warm tapioca pudding laced with peach schnapps.
With that in mind, the estate of Les Scaphandrier now makes it available for the first time as a serialized novel.
Chapter One, “Mommy, Make it Gurgle,” will be presented free of charge through eliseandtheaquanauts.com in the near future.
As the legendary leader of Les Scaphandrier, Jules Valiance, once said, “make of it what you will.”
