Jacob Diehm's Blog

When an artist looks at a blank canvas, it’s not blank to him. He sees black, gray, colors, curves and straight lines. The same applies when I look at you, I see your amazing qualities. I also see the demons that you face every day. So the world thinks I’m crazy to love you, but the world sees you as a blank canvas and I have yet to paint my masterpiece.

What’s Wrong?

By Jacob Diehm

“When I look into your eyes, I see nothing but pain. I ask you time and time again, What causes you this agony? Your response, an empty stare. I could help you if you just let me in. Day after day I ask you to tell me what’s wrong. Some days you shed a tear and just walk away, always remaining silent. Then, other days you just give me a fake grin or a small smirk.”

“No one can move through life without someone there to help them with their problems. Just like natural wounds, they grow irritated and infected. Time sets in and those wounds grow ever more dangerous. Eventually, you will have to lose something far greater, a limb or even your life.”

“I know when people on the street ask you how you are doing, you smile and say you’re doing fine. You always put a facade to cover your true feelings. There comes times when you noticed others are down and you try so hard to make them laugh and smile. Why is that? Is it their negativity that makes you think about your feelings that you have buried inside?”

“There are reasons you walk away from people and battles that you have every absolute right to stand and fight. Why don’t you fight? Are you so afraid to express your feelings or are you hiding a vengeful beast inside, scared you may harm someone or even yourself?”

“I just want to know what you would look like without such a heavy burden on your soul. Remove the caution tape around your heart. You have known me for so long, you know you can trust me. Open your heart to me. Just let me in.”

“After all of this being said, you still say nothing. Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong? Come on, God damn it! Tell me! Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong?” I see a tear rolling down your cheek, but still, the silence. Your eyes grow sad. I wait for your response. I stare and wait. You give me nothing.

I button my collar and put on my tie as I wait. “Please tell me what’s wrong!” I run my fingers through my hair until I feel comfortable. Still, you say nothing. I put on my suit jacket and stare right at you.

“Please tell me how I can help you.” You say nothing and shed another tear. Time has run out and now I must go to work. So I wipe away my tear and walk away from the mirror.

Monster

Jacob Diehm

I thought I found love, but what I found was better off remaining a dream. You’re a succubus. Your spells kept me locked in imaginary shackles. You hid your true self behind a curtain of beauty. Your heart, black and surrounded by dark flowing clouds. Deception was the game you played. For so long, your hateful words drew me towards the sharp rocky shores, as if they were a siren’s song, never allowing me to set sail on the journey of life. You kept me down, drained my blood with your fangs. Finally, in the end, you ripped out my heart and devoured it like the wolf of the night. Now here I lay a scarred individual. I walk in the night for as not to be seen, never able to live again. Never able to love, or be loved. Forever a monster.

I crawl through the darkness. No longer able to walk. It’s quiet here. There’s no moon or sunlight to guide me, just my fingertips. Inch by inch they slide across the surface of the ground. Frost covered dirt and muck seep into the cracks of my hands and my fingernails. Every hour I crawl, they grow colder. Jagged rocks and razor sharp sticks claw and slash at my legs. Each movement I make caused another injury to reveal itself. My hair wet with sweat and blood hardens with the chilling breeze. Thoughts of fear and knowing I’m alone causes my brain to imagine what atrocities await me. My soul is broken and defeated.

I battled a fierce enemy for my survival. I built a wall made of stone, sweat and blood. A thick and strong wall to protect my weaknesses. It was thick and built high enough to touch the clouds, and able to stand firm against any foe. But to my discovery, betrayal and deceptions would pummel my wall to the ground. Defenseless, I still fought on, but my enemy was ruthless. With unrelenting attacks my bones shattered, my clothes left bloody and torn. With every breath, I fought to remain alive. Time froze, only to allow my heart and willpower to be ripped from my soul, and discarded as if they had no value. The battle now over, I sought death, only to stop the pain. But, death never showed. I am to be ostracized, to be made an example of for all eternity.

��My body was tossed into the darkness, However, I found a small gem of hope. A small tiny reason to move on. I seek daylight only to find a pathway to escape, and to pick up what’s left of me. All I need is a shimmer of light to find safety. There’s no one that can save me, I must do this alone. So when my wounds finally turn into scars and my strength returns, I will find a new path and a place to call home. I do not know if I will make it, but I must surely try. So, inch by inch I creep, through the darkness as a broken soul.

Why? Why do you fear the dark? Is it cause you cannot see what hides in the shadows? Your mind is filled with superstition and fear. You imagine only evil resides in the darkness. Is that why you have thrown me into the shadows? Am I that scary or grotesque? What have I done to frighten you? I’ve done nothing truly evil in this world.

I’m not afraid of what I cannot see, so I will live in the shadows. I will live in the shadows, only to make your life simpler. Even though everything about me makes you fear me. I must expose my deepest secret. I’m in love with you! Your fear of me is a flaw. Someone who truly loves someone must love everything about them. You were not given the ability to see past my scars. So I know you can’t see the purity of my heart and soul. So walk freely in the night, cause I am in the shadows, not to hurt you, but to protect you. So I wait… I wait for you to let go of your fears, cause I possess another trait you can’t see… Hope!

A year ago Seth Alecto lost his family. Since then, his life was heading downhill, till one night, drunk and passed out in an alley, He runs into a woman geared for battle, accompanied by an angel. The angel touches his chest and her hand burns him. From this point on he is thrown into an underground war between heaven and hell.

Now, he fights Lucifer and his evil followers to save earth. Along his journey, his past will resurface and try to earn the hearts of heaven.

http://jacobdiehm.com/

Too many times I hear folks bark and complain about the rain. It makes people sad and feel smuggled by the chill in the air. Not I, It’s nature’s way of telling us  to slow down. I see colors come alive with life. The grass turns into a dark healthy green. Red flowers burst out with excitement saying “Look at me. Look at me.” Yellow and orange colors glow so much that they can lighten a darkened path. Puddles form, so raindrops can dance along the surface. They tap on the tree branches and make some of the most soothing sounds an ear can hear. It makes the plants and the earth explode with amazing fragrances. Rain brings beauty, not sadness. So next time you walk out that door and the rain is falling from the sky. Slow down and look around and see the beauty that rain truly brings.

Click on the link below to read my Press Release.

Hands of God

I see a bloody fanged beast, his hair is long and mangled with filth. He stands before me, and glares at me with evil eyes, eyes red as flames. Ears long and pointy. His large muscular chest pumps up and down as he breathes. Huge claws hang at his side. The beast’s skin is black, only visible in the night, cause of the moonlight high in the sky.

I’m frozen in fright. If I run, most surely he will attack. There’s no escape for me. What then shall I do? Everything about him is everything I fear. I’m sweating in the summer heat, and yet I shiver. My heart is pounding fast and hard. I’m certain this beast can hear it. I slowly step back, he matches me step for step.

I look at my hands, they’re the only weapons I possess. I just don’t think it’s enough. It’s all that I can do. I simply have no other choice. I must fight back, or die. I clench my hands into fists. I raise my head up, no longer looking at the ground as a submissive weakling. If I’m to die, I will die proudly.

I approach him and he charges. I feel his teeth dig into my shoulder. I scream in agony. No! I cannot fail this quickly. I strike him with my hands over and over again. He bites down harder. No! I will not die today. I must not quit. I must not surrender. I swing faster. Erratic and relentless.

Suddenly, he lets go. I can feel the blood flowing down my arm. The pain provides the evidence I’m injured. He steps back and roars into the air, trying to promote more fear back into my soul. I’m far past the point of fear. No longer will I be a servant of fear. I’m now a fighter, a bloody hardened warrior. I approach him, my eyes filled with determination. I watch him carefully searching for a weakness.

He lunges at me. I jump to my left and wrap my arms around his neck. I hang in the air laying against his back. I pull my arms tight towards me. His growls turn to sounds of choking, and gurgling. I must not let go for most certainly I will lose. The beast grows frantic and nervous as asphyxiation starts to set in. He starts to swing side to side to shake me. I lock my legs around his waist.

Finally, he drops to his knees. The muscles begin to loosen as he falls to the ground. I must make sure victory is secured. When I no longer hear breathing or feel the beast moving, I let go. My body hurts from the bite and claw marks. My muscles burn from exhaustion. I’m out of breath. I won! Never have I ever felt so alive. I look down at the creature. I start to feel pity, his death has given me a feeling I’ve never felt before. I’m alive for the first time!

My black claws dig into the dry ground. I’m too excited, I must relax. I slowly lower my body under the horizon of the tall, brown grass. I must stay low. I creep forward, stalking. My tummy grumbles. My heart beat races.

There she stands, proud of her black and white stripes. Look at her, she’s confident, and bobbing her long head with enthusiasm. Her tail flicks back and forth. I move in closer. My tan coat blends into the grass. The heat floating off the surface of ground helps conceal me further.

At last, I’m close. I dig my claws into the dirt and charge. My eyes stay locked on her, her body lowers and lunges forward. Her black hooves dig and kick dirt towards me as I commence the chase. She zips left, then darts right trying to trick me. I will never lose her. I’m too hungry. I seriously need to eat.

I’m getting so close now. I leap and my black claws latch onto her striped hide. I pull her to the ground. Our bodies fall to the earth. Clouds of dust bolt up into the air. When it settles, you can see my jaw locked onto her neck. I squeeze my mouth shut the best I can. She must not escape, if she does I do not eat. My long whiskers can feel her breath fading, until there’s nothing. Victory!

My blood in my veins flows at the speed of sound. To bring her down has taken everything out of me. I stand over my trophy and my meal. But wait, I hear the cackles and whimpers of my sworn enemy. One by one they surround me. They nip at my heels, trying to chase me away. I swat at them with my big paws.

Slowly they grow in numbers. I’m defenseless all alone. My family, my pack no where in sight. I pose up opposition showing my teeth and the deepest roars I can muster at the current time. It slowly becomes just useless. All my efforts have gone to waste just like a raindrop falling into the sea. I walk away empty handed. They mock me with laughter as I head back into the deep grassy plains. I’m hungry, always hungry. Hungry and alone.