Poppy Reid's Blog

Expats in Japan are pretty diverse beings. They range from eager young graduates to middle-aged singles, from people who can’t wait to leave to those who have been here for years and don’t see themselves ever returning to their home country. Most expats and tourists I’ve met over here are pretty nice people, but as with any group of people, there are always exceptions.

Sometimes people say things that are just really annoying. Most of the time they’re trying to be funny or quirky, but when you’ve heard it enough times it’s hard to not just roll your eyes. Here are 4 really irritating things that foreigners say when they’re in Japan.

1. “How long have you been in Japan?”

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Now, please don’t get me wrong. The question itself isn’t an issue. When meeting someone new, asking them how long they’ve been in the country is a basic icebreaker question along with “where are you from?” and “do you like comic books?”

However, it’s the attitude that comes with it. The smug smile and the “I’ve been here [longer time than you said].” It’s especially annoying when they treat you like you know nothing because you haven’t been there as long. I once had an exchange student patiently explain to me where Akihabara was on the Yamanote line because she assumed I was a tourist. Yeah, thank you so much for your divine wisdom.

2. “I think I’m turning Japanese, I really think so!”

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Oh, you’ve heard of that irritating, repetitive 1980 song? And now you can use it here when you do something remotely local such as bowing or eating with chopsticks! How cultured of you! No, no, I get it. It’s hilarious.

3. “This is totally different to [insert one’s home city]”

Yes, Tokyo is a lot bigger than Sydney. Yes it is rare to get decent ramen in Yorkshire. Yes, there is a karaoke box in Edinburgh.

If someone asks about your home city, feel free to talk about it until the cows come home. If you’re homesick, Skype your parents. But I don’t want to hear all about your city thousands of miles away which I will probably never visit. Constantly. When I’m trying to enjoy Japan.

4. Call themselves, and each other, “Gaijin”

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“Gaijin” is a derogatory term literally meaning “outsider”. It isn’t a nice word. Even the gentler “gaikokujin”, meaning “outside country’s person” grinds my gears. We’re all people. Just say people.

Statements like “I’m a silly gaijin!” “I don’t know because I’m a gaijin”, “Just look for the group of gaijins” makes me want to jump out of the nearest window. Calling yourself a gaijin just because you’re not Asian just reaffirms the belief that non-Japanese people are “outsiders”.

They’re the most common annoying things that non-Japanese people say when they’re in Japan. Are you guilty of any of the above? Have you heard of any other irritating things commonly said by foreigners? Leave a comment.

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To celebrate getting a job as proofeader at Japan Info, I decided to buy myself a hamster. It was a declaration that I was living in Tokyo for good. I didn’t have the time or the money for a dog, so a hamster would do.

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I fell in love with a winter white in Doken Pet in Daikanyama. True, the owner only had two hamsters and warned that they both bit, but I couldn’t resist the winter white’s fluffy coat and shy personality. “He’s quite old, so I’ll give him to you for free,” offered the pet shop owner.

It took me a while to name him. My mum always named her pet birds after famous mathematicians, so I started to think about great writers. Shakespeare seemed like a nice name for my new furry friend.

Shakey’s Personality

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Honestly, I kind of expected the poor creature to drop dead the first week or so. After all, he was old and all he seemed to do was eat and sleep, and the wheel looked untouched. But after I upgraded his cage and he’d got settled, he seemed so energetic that no one would have guessed that he was past his prime.

When we moved to Gakugei-Daigaku, I brought Shakespeare by train in a shoebox. He bit a few times; though never drawing blood, he seemed to like to nibble. It was hard to tell if it was nervous habit or if he just liked tasting everything. He never seemed to sleep in my hands like the flat hamster video, but I loved him all the same. There was a charm to his fluff, his fat little bum and the way he was so delightfully curious about everything.

Accidents

His first accident happened in May when I noticed he was huddled in the cage with a seed in his mouth. I had bought him some cucumber – his favourite, along with lettuce – but then I realised his teeth were stuck in the seed. It was scary. There was blood on the seed and Shakespeare was desperately trying to pull it out with his little paws. Thankfully, my boyfriend managed to get it out with nail clippers. Poor Shakey looked very solemn for a day or so after that.

A few weeks later, I noticed Shakespeare was nibbling his bars… then I saw blood again. One of his teeth, I noticed, was very short; perhaps it had broken off during the incident with the seed. The other, longer tooth had wrapped round one of the bars of the cage and he’d got stuck. I quickly helped him off and poor Shakey seemed to be in pain. He got virtigo, and I had to feed him water from a small bowl.

However, after a few days everything seemed OK and he was running on his wheel as much as always. I thought to myself how my brave little boy had got through his traumatic incidencts.

Then today, on the 14th July 2017, Shakespeare was lying in his cage, unmoving.

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I picked him up, and I saw that he was breathing. I quickly found the closest vet, put him back in his shoebox, and got on the train. When I checked on him, his black eyes looked up at me and his little body contorted in pain. His mouth even opened as if screaming silently. I knew that he was dying, but there was no way I wouldn’t at least try a vet.

It took me about thirty minutes from leaving my home to getting to the West Cross Animal Clinic in Naka-Meguro. The vet exclaimed when he saw Shakespeare and gently picked him up. “His pupils aren’t reacting to the light,” he said to me. “And he’s… oh…” we both looked at my poor little boy held gently in the vet’s hand. “I… think he’s just gone.”

It as a bit embarassing crying at the vet in front of two complete strangers. At least the staff assured me they weren’t going to charge me anything, which was very kind of them. I dried my eyes and left. My boyfriend met me at the station, which was kind. Afterwards, we buried him in our back garden. The house is rented, so it probably wasn’t allowed, but I didn’t really care.

All pets are precious, whether they’re a dog, a rodent, or a fish. I didn’t really expect to be as upset about Shakespeare as I was, but it shows how much fun we had together. He was an inquisitive and sweet little hamster and I’ll really miss him.

Goodnight, sweet boy

January – July 2017

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Last night, I had a dream that my grandmother and I were fighting off an invisible demon that was floating around possessing things and hurting people. Both of us had to yell things at it to make it disappear. In desperation, I shouted “Begone, demon! Jehovah doesn’t want you here! In the name of God, leave!”

Even though I haven’t been a Jehovah’s Witness since I was a teenager, I still fell back on the god I’d grown up with to rid us of the demonic presence. Really, I think if the dream had been real, that’s exactly what I would have done. Why?

Really, anyone who grows up in a religion always carries some of it with them for the rest of their lives. When you’re surrounded by people telling you constantly that something is true, it isn’t easy to shake off. The truth is that I don’t really believe in a god anymore, but I do believe in demons.

That’s where the dilemma hits.

Jehovah’s Witnesses and Demons

 

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Jehovah’s Witnesses teach that demons do exist. Back in the times of Noah and his ark, God’s angels looked upon the earth and took a fancy to the beautiful women that were knocking about. The angels flew down to earth and mated with them, which spawned the giants of legend. God punished the angels by banning them from coming back to heaven after the flood killed everyone except Noah and his family.

The demons, then, stayed on earth, and although we know they’re invisible and evil, now Satan’s followers, we aren’t told much about them. To me, they were always a terrifying presence not to be messed with, and when there was a story of an exorcism or a video of ghosts, it was proof that God and Satan did indeed exist.

“Proof” of Demons

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The fact that I was taught that demons are ex-angels and perfectly capable of ruining your life, I’ve never had any kind of desire to try and contact them. Something which is, apparently, perfectly possible via certain rituals, games, and the classic Ouija board. Therefore, I can never go and find out for myself if they are real and if it’s possible to contact them. I simply don’t dare.

However, there are plenty of stories on the internet of those who have tried summoning demons or even playing with them with certain rituals such as the Midnight Man game and the Hooded Man ritual. Some may argue that they’re just silly stories on the internet. If that’s the case, then we have some incredibly creative storytellers on Reddit.

You can also see videos on YouTube of furniture moving on its own, doors slamming, and unknown entities appearing on camera.

My Grandmother and the Angry Demon

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That isn’t all, though. My own grandmother – the same woman who appeared in my dream – was chased by demons when she was younger. The story always stuck with me. Before she became a Jehovah’s Witness, she and her husband, my grandfather, were into the whole spirits and contacting “the other side”. Using their wedding ring, they attempted to contact ghosts or spirits or whatever it was they hoped for.

According to my grandmother, after they started studying the Bible, weird things started to happen. When they tried to sleep at night, items would be thrown around the next room. Once, when alone in the house, my grandmother felt something shove her down the stairs, breaking her wrist.

After they smashed their wedding rings, the connection was severed, destroying their connection with the unknown presence that was stalking them.

My grandmother is a perfectly sane lady and she doesn’t lie. Both she and my grandad witnessed this. They wouldn’t make it up – why would they? What if it really was a demon angry that they were studying the Bible and Jehovah’s word?

We see “proof” of things everywhere that conventional opinion writes off as fantasy or people making things up. Demons are one of them. There are aliens and UFOs. Flat earth. Conspiracy theories. The Mandela Effect. Things there are videos, eyewitness accounts detailing proof yet ignored by most.

This strange world becomes even more strange. What REALLY freaks me out is… what if all of it is true?

There are almost two million non-Japanese people living in Tokyo.

That’s a big number. Although the foreign population is mostly made up of Chinese and Koreans, many western people from the US, Canada, and Europe flock to Japan to live. I lived in Nagano Prefecture for a year and a half and now, in my third year of living in Tokyo, I’ve decided to stay here.

Here are 13 things, good and bad, about living in the capital of Japan.

1. To live in Tokyo, you need a visa
[image error] Source: http://www.nic-nagoya.or.jp/en/e/archives/6757

To get a visa, you need to go to the Tokyo Immigration Bureau in Shinagawa with your Certificate of Eligibility from your employer. There’s lots of information about this online.

2. The trains are really complicated
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But once you get the hang of them, they’re brilliant. They’re clean, safe, central lines arrive every few minutes and they’re almost always on time.

3. The city is really clean

It’s also really safe. Downtown nighttime areas are obviously a bit scruffy, such as Roppongi and Shibuya, but even they have people cleaning up the beer cans and cigarette butts. Visitors always seem to be pleasantly surprised at how much the Japanese take care of their surroundings.

4. However, Tokyo isn’t perfect

Crime does still happen and it’s important to take basic safety procedures. Know, though, that you’re safer walking around at night alone than you would be in many other cities.

5. There are convenience stores everywhere
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Whether you want a rice ball at 5am or need some last-minute drinks for your party, a Lawson, Family Mart, 7-11 or Sunkus has your back. “Konbinis” are everywhere and are super convenient – though a little expensive for everyday goods.

6. Get a Suica or Pasmo travel card
[image error] Source: http://youinjapan.net/moving/suica_pasmo_icoca.php

Just get one. Do it as soon as possible. You can buy a Suica or Pasmo (they’re basically the same thing) at any ticket machine at a train station for 500 yen. You top them up with as much as you want, and you can use them on trains, the subway, the bus, and even in convenience stores and for most vending machines. You’ll be glad you’ve got one when you’re not buying train tickets every time you travel or scrabbling for cash at the shops.

7. Even though Tokyo is super futuristic, there are still traditional “washiki” toilets
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Whether you refuse to try them or you’ve had to use one out of sheer desperation, washiki toilets, or traditional hole-in-the-ground loos, are still around in the same city as robots and virtual reality systems. We aren’t sure if it’s simply for the sake of tradition or if people actually prefer them, but in certain restaurants and public bathrooms you may sometimes still come across a washiki. Would you dare use one?

8. Tokyo is home to dozens of festivals

The Japanese know how to celebrate, whether it’s with fireworks, carrying small shrines, setting things on fire or getting drunk under cherry blossom trees. If you live in Tokyo, you’re bound to come across a festival or two on your travels. Do some research, prepare, and jump in!

9. The parks get heavily crowded during cherry blossom season
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The cherry blossoms, or “sakura”, bloom from around mid-March to mid-April, and it’s a very special time here in Japan. They say it’s when the gods come down for just a few weeks, and to celebrate, people participate in “hanami” – that is, have a picnic under the blossoming pink trees and, if they’re adults, get good and drunk.

Unfortunately, that means that all the most beautiful parks are pretty crowded, especially during the weekends. If you’d like to try hanami, you should go early in the morning and during a weekday, if possible.

10. There are areas run by the mafia

Nowhere is officially off-limits, but it’s important to remember that some districts in Tokyo, such as Shinjuku, are highly controlled by the Japanese mafia, the Yakuza. This doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll get into any sort of trouble with them, but mafia-controlled places tend to be insanely expensive.

Watch yourself if you visit Kabukicho, the red light district of Tokyo. Check out this article for some sound advice on the area.

11. Japan is very four-seasons
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Remember those Japanese video games where if it was winter, it was snowy, if it was summer, it was hot? They aren’t exaggerating – Japan is pretty four-seasons, and Tokyo isn’t any different. As someone from England, the abruptly changing weather surprised me the first time.

Although it doesn’t snow very often in Tokyo, it is cold and dry, though usually very clear and beautiful for views of Mt. Fuji. Summer is hot, humid and June brings the sticky rain. Spring brings us blooming flowers, and autumn the red leaves of coming winter.

12. Not a lot of people speak English

If you visit the touristy places such as Asakusa, Harajuku, Shinjuku and Odaiba, you’re likely to run into workers who can speak English quite well. However, those outside the tourism field tend not to speak English, either because they forgot all their high school classes and have no interest, or because they’re simply too shy. However, this is just my personal experience. I found that a lot more people tried to speak English when my family members have come to Japan to visit.

That being said, it can’t be hurt to learn a bit of Japanese if you decide to live in Tokyo.

13. There are many things considered rude
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There are a lot of things that are fine at home but are big no-nos in Tokyo and beyond. Check out this article on 6 things you should never do in Japan.

So there are 13 things you should know about living in Tokyo – I’m sure there are many more, and I’ll add to them as they come. Got more to add? Let me know!

Thank you for reading this article. If you’d like to check out my fantasy books, see my Amazon page. Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter (I follow back!) and give me a like on Facebook! Love you bros. Have a good one!

~Poppy~

The other day, I headed to the department store AEON in Gunma with my homestay family. There we found a shop called VILLAGE VANGUARD, or as I call it, the shop of tat. It sold stuff you would just never need, ever. Take a look at some of my personal favourites. #OhJapan

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Unchi bank, or poo bank. 1000 yen, or around £7, for a plastic poo to put your coins in. Where in your house would that look good?

This PPAP sensation is getting out of hand. Now you can buy PPAP notebooks, and actual apple pens and pineapple pens. Very useful for… um…

 

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Wahay.

And the worst one of all…

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…For if you want to put your mates off curry for life.

Thanks for reading! Why not follow me on Twitter? I always follow back! @poppyreidwriter

Sayounara ❤

 

Let me make one thing clear: no, I don’t have children. I’m not even close. However, I’ve grown up with numerous siblings, step-siblings, little cousins, friends of the family and taught enough children that I’ve been around more kids than most.

Most days I see parents doing things that just make me think mate, what are you doing. I decided to compile a list of the most irritating parents do. If you do any of these things, please take a look at yourself.

Lying to your kids. This irritates me no end. Whether it’s pacifying them to keep them quiet or letting them think Santa Claus is real, lying to your child damages their trust, gives them false hope in certain situations, and often confuses them. Kids aren’t dumb. Treat them with respect.

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Putting photos on Facebook. Constantly. Congrats, you produced a little ball of snot and vomit and poo. We’re all very happy for you. It doesn’t mean we have to see 50 pictures a day (not to mention status updates) of “my kid just walked its first steps!” “We’re having a great Christmas!” “My son/daughter is ill :(” PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN AND SPEND NORMAL, SOCIAL MEDIA-FREE TIME WITH YOUR CHILD. PLEASE.

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Ignoring your baby when it’s crying. Look, I know your baby cries a lot. I know you’re probably sick of it and tried everything to calm it down and now you’re just used to blocking out its screams. But when I see mothers using their phones while their small child is crying, or parents refusing to acknowledge their little ball of joy is annoying everyone else in a two-mile radius, it gets grating.

Let me be clear: I sometimes see babies crying, and their mothers cradling them, talking to them, or whatever. That is fine. If anything, I feel pity. It’s when I see babies getting completely ignored.

[image error]Look at that grin on his face. He probably doesn’t even realise he’s been bad. *Rolls eyes*

Taking a picture of them when they’ve been naughty. “Hold on sweetheart! Yeah, right there with the toilet paper in your hand! Maybe sit here so it’s surrounding you! All right, don’t move, I’m going to take a picture! OK! NO, don’t smile, look guilty, like I’ve just walked in! There, perfect! Let’s see how many likes it can get!”

Seriously.

1. The title of this post made you wince. It’s “YOU’RE”, damn it!

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2. Bad grammar and spelling upsets you more than content.

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3. THIS bothers you more than it should.

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4. You get inexplicably angry when someone declares that their spelling “isn’t wrong, it’s creative.”

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5. You refuse to repost a hilarious meme because they used the wrong version of “there/their/they’re”

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6. If someone uses incorrect spelling and grammar, it’s impossible to take them seriously.

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Seriously. Proofread before you post. It could save lives.

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Hi everyone! As you might know, it is less than two weeks until my full time job as an English teacher comes to an end, and frankly, it can’t get here fast enough. Writing full time is going to be an amazing journey, one that won’t be interrupted with tiredness and lack of time.[image error]

To celebrate, I’ve made The Queen’s Alchemist and More Tales of Atharron permanently free on Amazon. It is my newest book, a short collection of fantasy stories. Here are some reasons you should dowload it right now:

It takes less than 30 minutes to read
If you still haven’t read Blood of the Fallen, The Queen’s Alchemist gives you a taste of the author’s writing style and a glimpse into the fantasy world of Theldiniya and Atharron, five hundred years before the events of the Blood Scrolls Trilogy.
It has an average of 4.8/5 stars on Amazon.
It’s fantasy, so if you love a quick fantasy read, this might be for you.

But don’t take my word for it. Check out The Queen’s Alchemist for yourself.

Anyway, if you decide to get it, that’d be awesome. If not, thank you for reading this blog post anyway, and I wish you an amazing day. Loveyabyeee!

The Ghost In My Machine

Previously: Channel Infinity.

Normally I wouldn’t post a second game quite so soon after posting the last one, but guess what? It’s October. And October means it’s Halloween season. And since it’s Halloween season, now seems like a good time to look at “A Small Radio.” I mentioned it briefly last year, but due to a lot of Big Life Changes, I wasn’t able to cover it in time for Halloween 2015. I put it on my to do list for the following year, though, and, well… here we are. 

Originally posted to the Creepypasta Wikia by user MacaroniArtZombeh in August of 2013, this game can only be played on a very particular day; trying to do it at any other time will result in a failed attempt. So I figured I’d put it on your radar now, at the beginning of the month, so you have…

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This morning, I got an email saying that Blood of the Innocent has been shortlisted as Book of the Year! This is HUGE![image error]

I’m so grateful to everyone who took the time to vote. Now I would LOVE it if you could vote just one more time…

All you have to do is:

Click this link
Scroll to the bottom
Find “Blood of the Innocent by Poppy Reid”
Enter your email address

And that’s it!

Thank you so much!

*Happy dances*