The Perks of Being Bipolar as an Author
I'm not bipolar but I seem to be about my writing. One day I think I'm channeling Hemingway. The next I'm clear that what I wrote is awful. The next day, I'm sure that... and so it goes.There's something magical when writers have a "good" writing session where everything just "comes out." And then we get to be a biased reader the next day of what "came out." I used to get completely discouraged when I discovered that I hadn't channeled Hemingway the previous day. You know--the feeling of just wanting to take your toys and go home because, well, you don't want to play that "stupid" game anymore (because it was embarrassing how badly you played)?
I expected the bipolar thing would ebb away when I continued to improve as a writer. Alas, it hasn't. Either I'm not getting better or being self critical is an inevitable part of the job. When I came to that idea, my attitude about being bipolar changed. Instead of feeling like calling it quits, I could see that "bad" writing doesn't mean I'm a "bad" author. I could see that honing a novel is, in fact, a function of letting a different day bring a different point of view to the words.
I still get excited when I have a "good" day of writing but not so upset when the next day the same words don't look so "good." Maybe my "medicine" for coping with being bipolar about my writing is allowing it to happen without judgement.
I guess I'll keep my toys in the game. How about you?
date
newest »
newest »
message 1:
by
Victoria
(new)
Mar 16, 2016 02:21PM
I just don’t let myself criticize my work anymore than necessary. This is because my opinion of my work is ten times more critical than it should be, because I’m paranoid that what I’ve written will not be successful, please audiences, or is anything worth continuing. You really are your worst critic. I also have to remind myself that nothing is good or bad. Good is completely subjective, a meaningless word that you and you only apply to something. It’s your opinion, and someone out there will completely disagree with you. There is nothing that will completely please everybody, nor is there something that everybody will find horrible. But even if ten million people out there hate it, there will always be someone who will love it, and be your biggest fan. Ultimately, I just have to turn off that part of me that criticizes everything I write, and just write. One day I’ll be happy with it, I trust. Critics and readers will criticize you enough already, you don’t need to do it to yourself.
reply
|
flag
Very interesting blog post! I can honestly say I would've given a solid 7/10 to the first draft of my manuscript. But after I heard honest critique from close friends and colleagues, it opened my eyes to so many rookie mistakes and short-comings, and it plummeted to a 2/10. The next draft followed the same formula, until the numbers slowly became more and more skewed towards positive self-enforcement. The truth is, sometimes our moods can evoke such powerful emotions in us that we feel we've struck gold. And it's possible that revisiting this same work through a different emotional filter can alter our perceptions of the quality of work.I've found with my own writing that if I come back to a passage over and over and I'm still moved by it, I've done something right. The truth is inherent in my work. But if the novelty quickly wears off, then it's 'just a bunch of words'. That's become my own personal gauge. :)
Once again, great post! I completely sympathize!
Victoria wrote: "I just don’t let myself criticize my work anymore than necessary. This is because my opinion of my work is ten times more critical than it should be, because I’m paranoid that what I’ve written wil..."Good thoughts, Victoria. I think you said it well: give up "good" and "bad" about writing, like either one is the truth. You know there are millions of people who love Harry Potter, and there are many who hate the series. Which is right? Neither. (Even though we can convince ourselves that our viewpoint is right. lol)
So, the goal is to forget the end product and focus instead on the journey. Enjoy the journey, otherwise, you're right, you'll criticize yourself right out of writing another chapter.
Nelou wrote: "Very interesting blog post! I can honestly say I would've given a solid 7/10 to the first draft of my manuscript. But after I heard honest critique from close friends and colleagues, it opened my e..."Interesting, Nelou. Maybe as we write we have things in our heads and we assume the words are saying everything. Then, when a reader comes along and doesn't have what's going on in our heads, they notice the words are missing something. And then we get to revisit the words and say, crap. :-)
I know you care a lot about word choice. That's clear in how you're able to evoke scenes in your novel, Fray Theory. And yes, if the words move you over and over, they're probably the right words. (And probably the ones your editor wants you to cut. LOL)
G.H. wrote: "Nelou wrote: "Very interesting blog post! I can honestly say I would've given a solid 7/10 to the first draft of my manuscript. But after I heard honest critique from close friends and colleagues, ..."HAHA! Oh my god, that last bit was so dead on! Well you know the adage 'Kill your darlings'? That's apparently a reference to cutting bits of your writing you've formed attachments to because it makes it difficult for you to perceive them without personal bias.
It's also a very interesting movie with Daniel Radcliffe!
Nelou wrote: "G.H. wrote: "Nelou wrote: "Very interesting blog post! I can honestly say I would've given a solid 7/10 to the first draft of my manuscript. But after I heard honest critique from close friends and..."LOL. The tough part about being Harry is that it's almost impossible to top it. "Kill Your Darlings." I'll have to find it.
To your point, yes, streamline, streamline! my editor says. I know she's right but sometimes i do like to crawl into a paragraph and let it wash back and forth over me. We are trying to create word pictures, are we not? Evoke emotions, right? We're going for something beyond just plot and character exposition. I always feel a desire to chisel beauty out of words. When we do that, then we've created something memorable that has the opportunity to really touch someone. Yes?
G.H. wrote: "Nelou wrote: "G.H. wrote: "Nelou wrote: "Very interesting blog post! I can honestly say I would've given a solid 7/10 to the first draft of my manuscript. But after I heard honest critique from clo..."Wow... "Chisel beauty out of words"... I absolutely LOVE that. And must say if you can chisel beauty out of words intended on communicating your point about said thing = you are a brilliant writer!
Nelou wrote: "G.H. wrote: "Nelou wrote: "G.H. wrote: "Nelou wrote: "Very interesting blog post! I can honestly say I would've given a solid 7/10 to the first draft of my manuscript. But after I heard honest crit..."Ha! We all strive for it. You reach that at times in Fray Theory. I think I get frustrated that each paragraph isn't that. :-)
G.H. wrote: "Nelou wrote: "G.H. wrote: "Nelou wrote: "G.H. wrote: "Nelou wrote: "Very interesting blog post! I can honestly say I would've given a solid 7/10 to the first draft of my manuscript. But after I hea..."I hear ya :D
