The End
I probably will be deleting this site tomorrow. I unpublished my book, and that’s that.
I wish I could say it was fun, but it wasn’t. No one cared about my book, although I don’t blame them. Everyone cared about using me, but hey, that’s life. I don’t have any energy to give to others any more. I realized that really, no one cares about Christian fiction or geekery save a tiny group of people, even including God. If He cared, I don’t think things would be as hard as it is. I don’t mean me, but in general. I knew coming in it might be like this, but I didn’t expect that Christian culture had gotten worse since I was a kid.
I’m sorry for people who commented or linked to me, as this will cause more work. I can’t really see maintaining this site though, at best I had maybe 20 visitors a day, mostly bots. I was toying with just letting the domain expire but that’d be worse i think. So plan accordingly.
I don’t have any parting thoughts, or final answers. I’ll leave comments open if you want to say anything. There’s little to worry about my life-I go to work, eat, sleep, etc. Just well, it’s time to hang it up. So no worries about my mental state or anything. I’ll probably go on a mad video game binge after, or catch up on the ridiculous amount of anime I havent seen. But i’m just tired of giving out any more. I’m all used up.
Peace.
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:( I hear you. I won't say *not* to give up because you are an adult and I can't tell you what to do. But I will encourage you to leave your work up, just *in case* you change your mind after you've had a break from the writing scene. Like I said, I hear you. You say things above that I could say myself on any given day.
Hah, I forgot it auto posted here. Thanks for the kind words.
Don't be a stranger online. We Christian spec geeks, small group though we may be, need to stick together. And you know, just this afternoon I was craving some good Christian scifi, where the Christian element is at the forefront, not hidden under copious layers of subtlety. :)
Oh man, I know how you feel. I really do. I hope you don't throw in the towel completely. You were there to support my work and the work of the Crossover in the past, and if there's any way I can help support your work, please let me know. We authors - in particular, Christian authors - need to stick together.
I know EXACTLY how you feel. I have quit a couple of times myself. I don't know if I'll ever write again. It sure does not seem worth it, does it? I won't try to talk you out of it, but do know you're not alone.
I totally understand how you feel. I've got some publishing credits, but there are days I'm ready to drop kick it all in the Devil's face and say "screw it". But somehow, with strength from God, I've come back.Whenever I feel the most down, I take comfort in Romans 8:38-39:
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
I stopped writing for almost 8 years, after a period of intense blogging, writing, supporting writers, giving critiques, judging contests, pushing for CSF. I burned out and my anxiety issues got out of hand. But I"m writing again now. I stopped out of my own neuroses--fear,anxiety--and depression. (I have had depression issues since childhood, so it's not writing-sparked.)Trying to work through that.
I hope that, after a time away, you just find joy in writing and, even if it's never a pro-endeavor, you just write for fun. Pleasure and creativity are rewards in themselves.
I've never written with money as a goal. In fact, I've sunk more money into sponsoring webzines/contests/helping writers with financial issues than I ever made. I had six editors ask for my work and never sent it (back to that neuroses thing).
But some days, the day is better just for sitting down to write something in my head or jot down a story idea for "someday." Keeping a creative flow, even if it's just for me.
Once writing is a miserable chore, yeah, we should ditch it. Making money at writing is iffy at best. And at worst, it's painful and discouraging. Seen that.
Just live life. Breathe. Sing. Pray. Love. And you never know. You may be back at it, feeling joy. :D
God bless.
Of course, I don't know all of the circumstances that went into the decision, and the Lord knows that I've often thought about giving up on writing myself. And sometimes, that's the best choice for us.But I do find it odd, when you mentioned "If He cared, I don’t think things would be as hard as it is. " I'm not sure I remember where God told us that things would be easy for us. In fact, it says the exact opposite at many spots in the Bible.
But I do wholeheartedly support anyone's decision to quit or press on in this business, because it's such a fickle enterprise, so I hope you find peace and comfort in your choice.
The hardness was for Christian geek culture in general. At some point, you start to wonder why is it that it's do intensely hard just to get the stuff made, when secular culture has no trouble at all. God doesn't really seem to care, because you'd expect Him to at least remove some of the roadblocks for someone.The writing isn't the whole issue. I could always just be a fan. But there is not even a little to be s fan over. We're in the middle of geek mainstreaming, and yet we have zero Christian geek culture. At some point you expect God at least to do something, or you expect He's just fine with amishness
Hey--I'm not a Christian anymore, but I grew up as one and I have a lot of fond memories of being evangelical. (Yes, I know how patronizing that will sound to anyone who still believes, sorry.) Anyway, this book sounded interesting to me and I was wondering if there are any copies around?
I might have the epub still, need to see
