Many experts would agree dating is the most important precursor to any romantic relationship. As defined by The Free Dictionary App by Farlex, a date is an engagement to go out socially with another person, often out of romantic interest. It allows two individuals to get to know each other without interference from the rest of the people in their lives. You know who I mean, people like his mother who thinks no woman is good enough for her son, or her big brother who is overly protective of his little sister. And let’s face it, your friends might be great company on a ladies’ night or a guys’ night out, but probably not so much when that special someone gets your pulse racing.

I suppose some of you out there are saying ‘Well, duh!’ but I am simply laying the foundation for the point I am about to make. Dating remains an important part of romantic relationships well after the ‘I dos’ are declared. That same belief is also widely accepted among relationship experts, and any of them will tell you taking dating out of a relationship is like trying to grow a garden without sunshine. It can be done, but the plants will be small and weak.

Unfortunately, life gets hectic right out of the gate and the first casualty is usually the time set aside for just the two of you, the date. Both of you have fulltime jobs, you now have two families to visit for every occasion, and by the time the first child comes along you practically have to start scheduling your own potty breaks. Before you know it, you wake up one day and wonder what the hell happened to the fun-loving spouse you married seven years ago. It definitely can’t be the person drooling on the pillow next to yours, and sporting the zombie hairdo, who passed out from sheer exhaustion last night without so much as a good night kiss. That is NOT the same person who used to make your stomach flutter with just a look.

If your relationship hasn’t gotten to that stage yet, good for you, keep date night alive and it will be easier to avoid. But, if the situation I’ve just described sounds eerily familiar then keep reading. There is still hope. All you have to do is bring back the date. The easiest way to do this is to put it in your calendar and make that time “sacred”. In other words, put your spouse first and nothing, outside of a life or death situation, interferes with date night. And I mean NOTHING!

Okay, so you’ve picked a night of the week that works for both of you and you’ve carved it in stone as a weekly recurring event in your calendar. Great! Now all you have to do is follow the rules, and don’t get your knickers in a twist, they’re easy.

Movies don’t count. You have to be facing each other and engaged in conversation. That’s fun conversation not discussions about hot topics that will most likely end up in an argument.
Date night is for the two of you AND ONLY the two of you. No friends, no kids, no relatives, and no animals that will pull your attention away from your spouse.
You have to leave the home. This is not the time to catch up on laundry, repairs around the house, or any other project you’ve been meaning to finish. Even if the date consists of going for a long scenic drive, a picnic in the park at the end of the block, or a hike along the trail through the city. As long as it’s just the two of you, it counts.
You don’t have to spend money from an already too tight budget. A long walk around the neighborhood is a perfect idea for those couples who have very little or no disposable income. Spending quality time with your spouse should never be a burden.
Turn off all electronic devises. Even if you follow all the rules listed above, if you are allowing your cell phone (that includes non-smart phones too,) your PDAs, or any other electronic devices to interfere with you giving your spouse your undivided attention, then it’s not a date. No exceptions. This needs to be a zero tolerance rule.

Remember, when you took those vows you made a commitment to put your spouse above all others, and that included your children. We all tend to forget that sometimes, but it’s imperative that we make the effort to remind ourselves just how important that promise really is. I can hear some of you arguing with me already, but the fact of the matter is, if your marriage falls apart because you neglected your partner, your family will fall apart too. Make sure your marriage becomes a survivor, not a statistic. Now, let’s make a date.

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