“A Modern Ruin”. I found this written at the top of a page in my notebook, and I have no idea why I wrote it there. Still, it made a good writing prompt for the Weymouth Writing Matters group. I use a lot of dialogue in my flash fiction stories – it seems a good way to tell a tale through the eyes of the characters, and this style suited the idea that quickly came to mind.

“It is the wall of a castle, you see,” said Mr Clutterbuck.
The gardener peered at it disapprovingly. “It’s broke,” he said.
“Well of course it’s broke – that is to say, broken. It represents a gothic ruin.” Mr Clutterbuck, landscaper to the aristocracy, was losing patience. “His lordship requires a romantic ruin. And a romantic ruin he shall have, my good man. This wall will show to advantage when viewed from the terrace – will reflect nicely in the lake, when we complete it.”
The gardener sucked his teeth. “It’s still broke. Why would his lordship be wanting on old broke wall when he could be having a new one?”
“You clearly have no notion of style,” said Mr Clutterbuck. “It is the modern fashion. Very high fashion, too. Ruins is very fashionable, d’you see?”
The gardener leaned on his spade. “But there is the real ruin – old castle, of the middle ages – right over there. Doesn’t that do for his lordship?”
Mr Clutterbuck thought for a moment the man might be teasing him. He looked sharply at the gardener, but there was neither guile nor humour in his weather-beaten face. “In the first place, that real ruin, as you call it, is decrepit, and not at all romantic. In the second place, it’s in the wrong place. The rise of the land means you cannot see it from the terrace. A carefully designed, and situated, modern ruin will overcome those difficulties.”
“But what is it for?” asked the gardener, stubbornly.
“Very well,” said Mr Clutterbuck, testily. “Consider this: his lordship’s family are newly created peers of the realm. This house is new. The park is new. The arboretum is new. The lake will be new, when we finish it. This new ruin, besides being a splendid decoration, suggests an old established and ancient family. It leaves an impression upon the observer’s mind.”
“Leaves an impression on my mind,” said the gardener. “It’s broke.”
Mr Clutterbuck could see this was an argument he couldn’t win. The man had neither taste nor culture. But he determined to put the fellow in his place. “Well,” he said, “never mind about that. You’re here to begin the planting of the new arboretum, are you not? We have a choice selection of exotic trees – his lordship is very anxious to see them in place and growing. You can start with the grove of monkey puzzle trees – fifteen of them, most exclusive, new from the Americas. They’re a wee bit spiny, I fear, but I’m sure you’ll manage.”
The gardener paled, swallowed hard, and, picking up his spade, went to meet his spiny doom.


Kathy’s new short story collection, Mr Muggington’s Discovery and Other Stories is out now http://tinyurl.com/hec25gr. For further gentle humour: The Larus Trilogy – Isle of Larus myBook.to/MyAmazonLinks , Sea of Clouds myBook.to/MyAmazonBooks and All the Wild Weather (to be published later this year).