There are thousands of these ‘Author Dealing with Depression’ posts out there. Posts from authors trying to claw their way out of their own minds, to stop moments of darkness, self-loathing, and anxiety from blocking off their interactions with the world. The relationship between those inclined toward artistic expression and depression seems so solidly established that it’s become a sociological cliché. Writers often battle depression. Or perhaps of all the people battling depression, writers often, you know, write about it.
It seems egotistical to throw mine into the already massive pile, but it’s been nine months since I’ve managed to post anything, so I figured an update was in order.
I have a hard time posting this. Depression tends to make me withdraw from everything—the real world and the one online. I admire authors who can fall back on social media and blogging as a way of reaching out past the shackles of mental illness. I can tell from personal experience, it’s hard. Even facebook feels like a dismally unfair challenge right now. I read my facebook feed, find something to comment on, and then delete my comment before I hit post because anxiety rears its head. I’ve barely been able to do anything online since last September.
It’s become difficult to write anything, much less anything I consider worth a damn. (I’ve been tinkering with six different versions of my tattoo artist story, and by the time I get to the climax of each, I’m convinced the entire thing is crap and the only way to fix it is to start over and cast my main characters in a different plot.) In a way, I recognize what’s going on. Since so much of my sense of identity gets bound up in my work, my own self-hatred gets amplified when I re-read my writing, and I end up hating the few words I manage to get down on paper.
I’m not giving up, though. I’ll muddle through until something feels decent enough to publish again. Writing has helped me through so many tough times before. Writing about my brother’s suicide in my first book, and my father’s death in my second, helped me pull through a similar bout of depression before, so I know there’s hope.
Unfortunately, I can’t say when that’ll happen. So if you’ve come here looking for news about upcoming releases and my current work in progress, I can’t offer any.

I’m sorry. I need time.