In my absence the other week, the members of Weymouth Writing Matters came up with an unusual writing prompt: ‘Why should your writing tools not be beautiful. What would you buy?’ Now, many of my writing friends are passionate collectors of handsome notebooks and pretty pens – even if they scarcely use them and write directly to the laptop. People seem to feel that nice stationery makes the writer, or at least, that the possession of it helps put them into a writing state of mind. Anyway, this gave me an idea for a story…

“I stand in awe of you, my dear sir,” said the passenger, quite agog. “Why, that you should find time to write – fully every day, and Sundays too – in addition to your duties as ship’s chaplain. I take my hat off to you. But pray, how do you achieve it?”
The Reverend Rasmussen was deeply gratified, but put on a pained and thoughtful face for a full twenty seconds before replying, in a sonorous sermon voice.
“The secret, sir, is that I set aside one hour. One hour, and one hour only, each day, for my private writing activity. I can spare no more. Rigid adherence to the time available and careful organisation are the key to my success.”
The passenger shook his head in wonder. “And will you tell me the particulars of your organisation? Or is it a great secret?”
“No secret at all,” said the Reverend Rasmussen. “It is purely this: the properly organised mind requires the proper organisation of writing tools. You will have observed I have a collection of beautifully-bound writing notebooks, in diverse colours. One for each day of the week, you see. And a comprehensive variety of pens and nibs – some gold, of course - and coloured wax crayons, knives for sharpening of same, blotting pads, inkwells of various designs containing different-coloured inks, and sundry other items vital to the writer’s life. It is an excellent collection, and I begin my hour’s work by arranging them in order, so that I may lay my hand immediately upon whichever I require.”
“I am amazed at your industry, sir,” said the passenger. “And having arranged your writing tools, you then begin to write!”
There was an uncomfortable silence. “Sadly, no,” said the Reverend. “Unfortunately, despite all my care, the motion of the ship invariably displaces the pens – which are apt to roll, you understand – overturns the inkwells, and on occasion tosses my notebooks to the cabin floor, and I have to begin again.”
“Most distressing,” said the passenger, “so…?”
“So my hour is spent in arranging and re-arranging my writing tools. I have yet to succeed in committing a single word to paper. But I live in hope, my dear sir, I live in hope.”

My new short story collection, Mr Muggington’s Discovery and Other Stories is out now http://tinyurl.com/hec25gr. For further gentle humour: The Larus Trilogy – Isle of Larus myBook.to/MyAmazonLinks , Sea of Clouds myBook.to/MyAmazonBooks and All the Wild Weather (to be published later this year).