Among the stranger responses I've gotten from agencies are the ones that say something along the lines of Sounds interesting, but we're not the right agency to represent this novel. Good luck! or This book just isn't a good fit for me. Good luck. (Note:these are not direct quotes.)


Lately I've been wondering if This isn't a good fit is the literary agency equivalent to It's not you, it's me that you hear when someone wants to break up with you.

We all know that It's not you, it's me really means Are you kidding? Of course it's you! There might not be enough words in all the languages humanity has ever uttered or written or signed to tell you how much of this is you. It's at least 233% you. You you you you you you you you you you. But, uh, you know, have a good life.

I'm only half-joking of course. I know full well that most of the people who write me with those kinds of letters actually mean that while they don't dislike The Face Value Blues, they really do have too many other things going on that do in fact light a fire under them to give it the attention they think they should give to any project they take on. And I understand that. Whenever I do get an agent, I want someone who is consumed by a relentless desire to see FVB take the world by storm, not some random person who says, "Eh, I guess I'll give it a shot, got nothin' better to do."

But it's still weird.

Whenever I get one of those rejection letters, I imagine the agent taking me out for coffee, starting out our date by chatting about nothing in particular, and then holding my hand, sighing and saying, "I've been doing some soul searching, and, well, I think I should represent someone else. It's not you, you haven't done anything. You're a sweet guy, and we've had some great times together. But I need to move on. It's me."

As always, thanks for stopping by.