05/12/2011
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When we were very young, say four or five years old, we paid attention to things. Little things. Things that we, as adults, don't even really see. The things I remember most of that time are not big events, but tiny little moments of focus. Things looked different to me then. Not because I was small and the things were big. It's not that. At the time, I was looking at those things in the present, with a completely clear mind. I had made no huge mistakes and had no real regrets to dwell upon. I wasn't concerned about my future. I was just there. In that moment. I had a moment like that today driving home from McCall. It was one of the most beautiful highways that I have ever driven. As I drove alone on the highway for two hours, my mind was filled with all the usual crap. The crap that spins and spins constantly. The past. The future. I saw the beauty of the highway, but I really wasn't seeing it. I wasn't really there. I was in my head. And then I glanced over to my right at the river. It has a very strong current. Rapids in some places. The sun sparkled off the water. I had one of those moments. Pure focus on what I was looking at. I am not a nature freak. I think it's pretty and should be preserved, but I am usually not one to be in awe of it. At that moment, it was just like seeing from my four year old eyes. Then I realized something. That's why I love to write. To be in the present. To be completely there. No past. No future. When I write, I write in the present. My present. Total peace. When you do something you truly love, when creativity is flowing, it is impossible to not be there.