So, I went to lunch with my husband yesterday, and we were going to take a walk afterwards, so I slipped on the pair of athletic shoes I keep in my office for just such purposes. Shiny, white athletic shoes that have been worn all of three or four times. And white athletic socks to go with them. I just pulled on the socks over my knee-high nylons because I was too lazy and rushed to take them off and (truth be told) I haven't shaved my legs for a while. Unfortunately, while I was putting on the second shoe, I felt a little tear in the seam of the dress I was wearing, which was not really a seam at all but the inches above the hemline where I had sewed up the side slit, which I always have to do because I'm so tall that the side slits on an ordinary dress come, like, up to my thigh. I've already whined about this somewhere, I'm sure. But a good complaint bears repeating, don't you think?

Anyhoo, we took a lovely walk and then he drove me back to my office and dropped me off. I had to leap out quickly because he was blocking the entrance to the parking garage, and I realized, as he drove off, that I had left my dress shoes on the floor of his car. Which left me in my shiny, white athletic shoes and socks, worn over knee-high nylons, which now revealed themselves even more readily to be knee-highs through the torn-open slit in the side of my dress. I couldn't decide which was worse, the nylons or the hairy legs, so I just left the nylons on and barricaded myself in my office for the afternoon and then hustled out to the TRAX station after work and tucked everything in as tightly as I could and buried my face in my book and somehow managed to get home.

I was reminded of how we sometimes used to put on our socks over our pantyhose when we were in junior high so it would look like we had more of a tan. And, of course, if I'm going to start having emotional flashbacks, what stage of my life would I rather visit than JUNIOR HIGH?