It seems Empire is no longer Must See TV for some of you….but never fret, your girl has got you covered with the Empire recap!

This episode opened with Baby Hakeem having a stripper party followed by a pity party because BooBoo Kitty broke the news that “You ARE the father.” Hakeem’s fiancé, Baby J. Lo, was not happy about that news and broke things off, giving Hakeem back the blood diamond. (Girl, don’t you know you don’t give back a ring of that magnitude??) Her girls must’ve been in her ear, though, because she quickly forgave Hakeem and bought a tshirt that said, “I’m the stepmom.”

Anika later had a pregnancy scare, but Cookie was there to comfort her. Hakeem stood up to his family and told them to lay off Anika and his unborn child. The Lyons had a rare family bonding moment. But then it was back to business as usual as Jamal and Lucious were up for the same American Sound Award and Lucious kept throwing major shade at his son, which was severely pissing Jamal off. Jamal bumped into his ex, Dora (Cookie branded him because I don’t even remember his name), who took him to a hole in the wall blues club, where Jamal performed and felt right in his element.

Lucious hooked up with blog reporter, Harper, and Cookie had a hard time hiding her jealousy. Lucious and the “Mop head Scallop” who Cookie suggested make an appointment with Summer’s Eve, got into some dominatrix, rough foreplay. (Sidenote: I guess I’ve been married too long, because if you slap me, it’s gonna be on….ain’t nothing sexy about that. But maybe it’s just me….) Anyway, they were all into it, bout to break some chandeliers and Femurs, when Harper made the mistake of talking about Cookie. Lucious can take a lot of things, but as he informed Harper, when you say Cookie’s name, put some respeck on it!

The board decided Cookie and Lucious would be Co-CEO’s. Lucious thought it was a good idea but Cookie should know if you get in bed with a snake, you’re gonna get bitten.

Of course, Harper wasn’t going away that easy. She gave Andre, who was preparing to make a speech on mental illness, pictures of his Grandma Kizzy, who everyone thinks is dead, but who Lucious had locked up in a facility. Next week, Grandma comes home and it doesn’t look like it’s going to be pretty! Stay tuned…

PS-So Lee just not gon’ get Becky with the Blonde hair a stylist, huh?

PPS-Have you noticed that we went from 328 celebrity cameos last season to none…