In my very first job, as a secretary and receptionist, I was told I had ‘no personality’. Obviously, that’s nonsense – everyone has a personality. What they meant was that I didn’t engage in continuous grinning chit-chat with everyone who walked in the door. I left the job, but that stinging summing-up stayed with me through the years. The phrase came back to me recently when I attended an online seminar on book promotion…

“If you want to sell books, put yourself out there!”
It’s a regular instruction to writers. And regularly ignored, too, by those of us who write precisely because we don’t naturally Put Ourselves Out There.
“You must create a persona for yourself, as a writer!”
Eh?
“You’re a writer, invent a character for yourself. You can do it!”
Oh, sure. I could do that. But anyone who knows me personally will know it’s rubbish. And what exactly happens when I make a personal appearance somewhere? I’m no actress – how could I hope to keep up this non-existent character I’m supposed to be?
“All right, pretend to be one of your own characters, then.”
You’re surely not suggesting I turn up in eighteenth century costume with a tricorne hat, are you? See above about not being an actress. I could get a hat like Terry Pratchett, I suppose. But it’s not me.
“What did I just say about creating a persona?”
Yeah. So you did. And yes, I know writers who do it beautifully – who have created an instantly recognisable style in the way they look online, the way they write blog posts. They’re not afraid to blurt their political beliefs, their thoughts on just about anything. They get taken to task for it, too, sometimes, but it all adds to the ‘persona’, I suppose. Larger than life, indeed. It seems to help sell their books. But me? Express a controversial opinion online? I’d sooner be boiled in oil. It’s not that I don’t have any opinions – it’s just that they’re private.
“You still need to put yourself out there, like it or not, if you want to sell your books.”
Sigh. Perhaps I can put myself ‘out there’ as someone who is essentially private, who may hold controversial opinions but doesn’t care to splatter them all over social media, who prefers to use her books to explore such matters. Mysterious, like. A sort of anti-persona. Would that do the trick, d’ye reckon?
“You’re joking, aren’t you?”
Not really. Is there some way to make a virtue out of being backward in coming forward? Could shy be the new brash? Could quiet and reserved writers take over the best-seller lists – be the next big thing? Could – heaven forfend – books actually be allowed to speak for themselves? Don’t most readers just want good books, regardless of the writer’s ‘personality’? Oops – I think I very nearly said something controversial there…

My new short story collection, Mr Muggington’s Discovery and Other Stories is out now http://tinyurl.com/hec25gr. For further gentle humour: The Larus Trilogy – Isle of Larus myBook.to/MyAmazonLinks , Sea of Clouds myBook.to/MyAmazonBooks and All the Wild Weather (to be published later this year).