I'm finding that being a writer is a lot like being bipolar.


There are days or even hours where I just finished a really awesome chapter (in my view at least), or hammered out a couple of thousand words, where I think to myself, "Self, this is great. You are amazing and the world should hear what you have to say. They will rejoice and be better for it."

This is bipolarThen...there are the other days where I think everything I just wrote is crap. It's all trite, boring, and mediocre at best. This is a foolish endeavor. I'll never make a living off your words. No body cares what I have to say.

Now, I get that everyone has these days. Well, most everybody. There are those that experience much worse lows and those that retain their highs for longer. But for the vast majority of us, you have your ups and you have your downs.

Nothing really ground shattering here. That's life.

But for a writer this takes on a whole new meaning. Because as a writer you are essentially saying, "My words are worth, not only your time and thought, but your money as well. What I have to say is worth spending your hard earned cash on. I have something you can't get anywhere else."

Take that Earth!This takes a certain amount of arrogance. This takes a certain amount of chutzpah. You have to have a certain amount of delusion to begin to even think of selling your writing.

But at the very same time. Existing in the same brain at the same moment in time is this very large cloud of doubt. Even writing this blogpost I feel a huge layer of doubt. I almost didn't even write it. All these nagging question in my brain: Is what I am writing about even worth it? Doesn't everyone feel this way and thus it is useless to write about? I'm not saying anything worthwhile so why say it all?

I started writing my second book a few weeks back but haven't written anything for the last long while because I've been doubting whether it'll be any good. I'm thinking maybe I only had the mojo for one book in me.

But just today I turned all that around. I wrote for the first time in a few weeks and it felt good. Maybe I can conquer the world with my words.

Or maybe I am just bipolar.