After hearing on the Tv lately about the many who have suffered sexual abuse and speaking to a couple of clients last week, I felt the need to write about some of the theories that are around at the moment and the attitude that forgiveness is the only way to heal!

Often when a ‘victim’ hears this, they will give themselves a hard time, as they don’t feel they can forgive the people that hurt them, or a loved one. It can also hinder their healing as they feel ‘bad’ at not being able to forgive, when others can. But for anyone who has suffered at the hands of another (especially those connected to childhood sexual abuse) they know that it’s not always easy to forgive those that have hurt you, or someone close to you.

Although I believe forgiveness plays a great part, I feel I must comment that it’s just not that simple as to ‘let it go’, as often the pain ‘freezes’ in the cells and replays through the system often causing illness, dis-ease and self-sabotage. It also depends on the level of abuse suffered. It stands to reason that if a person had a single abusive incident in their life from a stranger, it would leave ‘bruises’ on many levels of their psyche, but if someone had years of constant regular abuse from someone they trusted, then their ‘healing’ may take longer.

So if you, or someone you know fall into the latter category, please remember to be patient while working through your pain and if others you read of, or around you, are ‘healing’ faster than you, don’t worry, your time for peace will come (and sometimes go again). Once again if you fall into this category, be patient with yourself while you untie your mental and emotional knots.Every person’s pain is individual and our path to ‘healing’ is too, after all, the journey is ours and ours alone and only we can walk it.

Others may sympathise with your situation and a therapist may help you find your solutions, but it’s still you who needs to do the work, and at times it can be a very lonely place to be.
A section on illness from The Energy Within:When there is tension in our thoughts or beliefs, the endocrine gland will secrete hormones, changing the chemistry in the body part. As we direct energy with thought (where thought goes, energy flows), we have the power to unblock whatever thought created the tension in the first place.
When energy flows freely we have wholeness; when energy is blocked we have tension. When we don’t accept a part of who we are, what we did, or what we are doing, there can be a reversal in our energy system. The outcome is an unconscious act to sabotage our dreams and desires.

“The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make heaven of Hell, and a hell of Heaven.” John Milton, English Poet