Forgiving an Onion
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In my book "Haze of Heat" Melinda Felix tells Rachel and Gwen that seeking vengeance is a soul-destroying poison we expect the other person to drink. I think this is important because vengeance is a bitterness caused from unforgiveness. Forgiving somebody for a betrayal, hurt or simply ticking you off, sucks. There's no doubt about it. But I think to be a healthy individual, it needs to be done.
For myself, I have to think of it like an onion. At first I'm all flippant and flimsy, like the outermost layer of an onion, but as I forgive again and again (and for the same reason because taking a sledgehammer to that onion will only make a nasty, stinky mess) I put some power into it. Why? Because I want to do something with that onion, like make homemade spaghetti, a spinach and artichoke dip or some spicysalsa.
One of the main reasons I need to learn to forgive is because bitterness -that poison - makes me cranky. And the more hurt I feel, the snarlier I become. Not a pretty picture. I don't want to lash out at a bystander because they innocently prodded a wound caused by some idiotic soul (see how well I'm forgiving?) several years ago.
Hurt people really do hurt other people. I've got one of those in my life. Not a close individual, but close enough and with plentyof his own unforgiving hurts that he has bouts of - ahem - unhappiness that affects all those within hearing distance. Since taking a sledgehammer to him is not socially acceptable- and quite illegal - I have to forgive him over and over and over again. And over again.
My goal is to be able to take that onion and put it in a food processor and be done with it. Just like I need to be strong and save up money to afford that nice, shiny, expensive food processor, I need to be strong and determined to forgive those who, whether knowingly or not, have hurt me PDQ.
Now there are many, many situations I have not experienced, and I'm most definitely not saying I could forgive anybody anything - just ask my husband what I would do to him if he ever cheated. I'm just saying that even if I got to the food processor stage of my life, an onion might very well come along that won't fit. I'll curse and scream and argue and weep. I may even throw that onion against the wall, stomp on it, or simply turn my back on it. I do hope that I won't ignore it forever. That I'll have the strength and will to tackle that multi-layered bulb, even if it means starting at the beginning.Why?
Because I just found this really interesting recipe that calls for one, large onion to be caramelized.
In my book "Haze of Heat" Melinda Felix tells Rachel and Gwen that seeking vengeance is a soul-destroying poison we expect the other person to drink. I think this is important because vengeance is a bitterness caused from unforgiveness. Forgiving somebody for a betrayal, hurt or simply ticking you off, sucks. There's no doubt about it. But I think to be a healthy individual, it needs to be done.
For myself, I have to think of it like an onion. At first I'm all flippant and flimsy, like the outermost layer of an onion, but as I forgive again and again (and for the same reason because taking a sledgehammer to that onion will only make a nasty, stinky mess) I put some power into it. Why? Because I want to do something with that onion, like make homemade spaghetti, a spinach and artichoke dip or some spicysalsa.
One of the main reasons I need to learn to forgive is because bitterness -that poison - makes me cranky. And the more hurt I feel, the snarlier I become. Not a pretty picture. I don't want to lash out at a bystander because they innocently prodded a wound caused by some idiotic soul (see how well I'm forgiving?) several years ago.
Hurt people really do hurt other people. I've got one of those in my life. Not a close individual, but close enough and with plentyof his own unforgiving hurts that he has bouts of - ahem - unhappiness that affects all those within hearing distance. Since taking a sledgehammer to him is not socially acceptable- and quite illegal - I have to forgive him over and over and over again. And over again.
My goal is to be able to take that onion and put it in a food processor and be done with it. Just like I need to be strong and save up money to afford that nice, shiny, expensive food processor, I need to be strong and determined to forgive those who, whether knowingly or not, have hurt me PDQ.
Now there are many, many situations I have not experienced, and I'm most definitely not saying I could forgive anybody anything - just ask my husband what I would do to him if he ever cheated. I'm just saying that even if I got to the food processor stage of my life, an onion might very well come along that won't fit. I'll curse and scream and argue and weep. I may even throw that onion against the wall, stomp on it, or simply turn my back on it. I do hope that I won't ignore it forever. That I'll have the strength and will to tackle that multi-layered bulb, even if it means starting at the beginning.Why?
Because I just found this really interesting recipe that calls for one, large onion to be caramelized.
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