You Don't Know Me
You just don't understand. You don't know my journey and all the painful things I've went through to get to this point in my life. I actually should be dead. How is it that I'm still here after all the pain I've been through?
When I was in my late 20's, I went through a nine-year time period of pure hell. Every day was bad, a struggle to get through. People laughing at me, mocking me, ridiculing me, unfriending me. I was alone living in the state of Texas, trying to raise a child, and unsure of my future. Life was filled with uncertainty. I wanted to die. I couldn't imagine going on. I did not feel that God loved me. If he did why was I going through so much hell? I felt alone, abandoned and forgotten. I could have returned to my home state and live with my mother, but I did not want to. Detroit held too many bad memories for me. So I held on, went through tough times, almost unbearable times, and I prayed and prayed, crying out to God to save me from the hell I was in. It took a long time but finally the day of my rescue arrived.
Things got better. I felt like God had his arms wrapped around me. Life was bearable. I could smile again. I could breathe again. My troubled relationship was done and I could begin anew. One thing that happened is I began to write. I wrote and all kinds of feelings poured out of my soul. I didn't know it at the time but writing was helping me to find myself again. I put my emotions into the words. And I wrote non-fiction at first, but later on, I wanted to try fiction. I wanted to explore entangled tough relationships through my made up characters. I began to dream. I began to want to be an author. To live again and to have something to look forward to. My dream wouldn't let me die and stay depressed. My dreams kept me awake, working and practicing and learning and rewriting. I came up with My Daughter's Boyfriend, and the rest is history.
So when I say you don't know me, I mean that you never know what a person has gone through because a lot of times we keep those terrible things to ourselves. We don't want everyone to know because we don't want them to judge us, laugh at us, frown at us, and put us back in the hard places that we escaped. So we write. We get through the hard times through our books. It's deep, it's real, and it is my reality.
I am fortunate and happy to be alive. And I hope that when you do read my books, know that they were birthed out of a painful life that should have ended a long time ago. But I'm still here. I am still here.
When I was in my late 20's, I went through a nine-year time period of pure hell. Every day was bad, a struggle to get through. People laughing at me, mocking me, ridiculing me, unfriending me. I was alone living in the state of Texas, trying to raise a child, and unsure of my future. Life was filled with uncertainty. I wanted to die. I couldn't imagine going on. I did not feel that God loved me. If he did why was I going through so much hell? I felt alone, abandoned and forgotten. I could have returned to my home state and live with my mother, but I did not want to. Detroit held too many bad memories for me. So I held on, went through tough times, almost unbearable times, and I prayed and prayed, crying out to God to save me from the hell I was in. It took a long time but finally the day of my rescue arrived.
Things got better. I felt like God had his arms wrapped around me. Life was bearable. I could smile again. I could breathe again. My troubled relationship was done and I could begin anew. One thing that happened is I began to write. I wrote and all kinds of feelings poured out of my soul. I didn't know it at the time but writing was helping me to find myself again. I put my emotions into the words. And I wrote non-fiction at first, but later on, I wanted to try fiction. I wanted to explore entangled tough relationships through my made up characters. I began to dream. I began to want to be an author. To live again and to have something to look forward to. My dream wouldn't let me die and stay depressed. My dreams kept me awake, working and practicing and learning and rewriting. I came up with My Daughter's Boyfriend, and the rest is history.
So when I say you don't know me, I mean that you never know what a person has gone through because a lot of times we keep those terrible things to ourselves. We don't want everyone to know because we don't want them to judge us, laugh at us, frown at us, and put us back in the hard places that we escaped. So we write. We get through the hard times through our books. It's deep, it's real, and it is my reality.
I am fortunate and happy to be alive. And I hope that when you do read my books, know that they were birthed out of a painful life that should have ended a long time ago. But I'm still here. I am still here.
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