School will start next month. If you have a child going into 4th or 7th grade, they will have to pass a state mandated test in Writing. If you live in Texas, the exam is titled: State of Texas Assessment of Academic Skills (STAAR).

Whatever the case, writing can be difficult for some children. Just imagine your child stumped, day dreaming trying to think of how to get started. To help with this, I use a strategy that proves to help those who struggle in this subject area.

I’ve created a lesson titled:

Objective: Show/Don’t Tell

Goal: Students will utilize 5 senses giving them the ability to strengthen their creative writing and improve their writing skills

Five (5) Senses

Sight — Describe how a person or object looks

Smell — Describe how a person or object smells

Touch — Describe how an object feels

Sound — Describe how something sounds (What do you want the reader to hear?)

Taste — Describe how something tastes (such as food)

Helpful Words that Describe

Color – light, dark, pale, sharp

Sound – harsh, swish, vibration, echo, hum

Pattern – zig zag, straight, flowery

Texture – smooth, rough, silky, soft

Shape – round, oblong, tubular

Odor – musty, sweet, aroma

Condition – worn, new, old, dull, sparkly

Motion – swirling, back-in-worth, circular, spiraling

Your child’s reader will be able to picture, or imagine the richness of their story in their minds as if the reader is actually inside the story

Helpful Tip: Drop the Adverbs – Remember the objective – Show/Don’t Tell

Ask your child to stay away from adverbs. By doing so, they will give their reader bright, striking and colorful pictures describing their stories.

2 Examples of using Adverbs

1. Tell: The baby slept soundly

Show: The baby slept without a whimper

2. Tell: He gently placed the jar on the table

Show: With trembling hands, he placed the jar on the table as if it were a feather.

EXAMPLE 1

Writing Prompt: EATING BREAKFAST AT GRANDMOTHER’S HOUSE

A Great Start:

I love eating breakfast at my grandmother’s house. Her food is really tasty.

That’s a great start. Right? But let’s take it a step further

Much Better:

My grandmother prepares the best bacon, eggs, and pancakes. Her food makes my mouth water.

There’s certainly nothing wrong with this sentence, but can we give it more description? You bet we can.

How About This?

Juicy bacon sizzled on a griddle. The whiff passed my nose reminding me of hickory smoked logs in the woods during summer camp. Fluffy cloud-shaped yellow eggs sat on a platter next to a stack of perfectly round-shaped light brown pancakes.

Grandmother picked up an orange wedge and firmly pressed it against the glass juicer as she prepared fresh squeezed pulp-free orange juice. The pulp and juice flowed alongside the edge of the glass.

Doesn’t this one give more descriptions using 5 senses?

EXAMPLE 2

Writing Prompt: SUMMER VACATION ON OUR FAMILY FARM

A Great Start:

Summer vacation is here. Now it’s time for me to meet-up with my cousins at our family farm. Each year we have lots of fun together.

That’s a great start. Right? But let’s take it a step further

Much Better:

My cousins and I couldn’t wait to meet up at the family farm. We’d wake up each morning with lots of things to do like feed the animals, and then play in the hay.

There’s certainly nothing wrong with this sentence, but can we give it more description? You bet we can.

How About This?

My cousins and I awakened in our soft beds to the sound of country and western music echoing from an old-fashioned brown boxed radio. The neighbor’s black and red American Game Bantam rooster sang out a sound of “cockle-doodle-doo.” Whenever we heard this familiar wake up call, we knew it would be another awesome day with family members on our family farm.

We could hear our Mom’s stirring in the kitchen. The heels of their shoes flopped against the wooden floor. They talked some and then hummed their favorite church hymns, “This Little Light of Mine.” Pots and pans were tinkling. We knew it was going to be a great day.

Doesn’t this one give more descriptions using 5 senses?

Note:

Have your children include all five senses, or as many as they can. Have the children describe the scenery by drawing their readers into their stories using sensory details.

Feel free to use these examples as you work step-by-step with your children.

Using the writing examples above – Pause for a moment and determine if children are able to pick out descriptive words using 5 senses. 

EATING BREAKFAST AT GRANDMOTHER’S HOUSE

Touch

1. _____________

2. _____________

3. _____________

Sight

1. _____________

2. _____________

3. _____________

Smell

1. _____________

2. _____________

3. _____________

Taste

1. _____________

2. _____________

3. _____________

Sound

1. _____________

2. _____________

3. _____________

EATING BREAKFAST AT GRANDMOTHER’S HOUSE

Touch

1. _____________

2. _____________

3. _____________

Sight

1. _____________

2. _____________

3. _____________

Smell

1. _____________

2. _____________

3. _____________

Taste

1. _____________

2. _____________

3. _____________

Sound

1. _____________

2. _____________

3. _____________

If children can learn how to incorporate these strategies into their writing, they will succeed and pass their state mandated writing test.

Have fun teaching children to write well!