Last night the Fake Gordon Ramsay and I had this conversation. (Gordo is looking remarkably tanned after a 'tough' trip to Honolulu. Note to self: Check out jobs in the scintillating world of freight.

Fake Gordon: "Doll, fancy my balls tonight for dinner?"

Me: Looks up in despair from editing porny manuscript that Larry Flynt might be interested in.
"What?"

Fake Gordon: My balls tonight what do you think?"

Me: Thinking - do I go there?

Fake Gordon: They're pretty juicy."

Me: "Help me sweet baby Jesus."

I bring you coconut laksa with corinader fish balls.