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“How did you know?” Prea wondered in the darkness.

“The same way you knew to come here,” the woman answered. “The same way you know who I am.” There was an audible intake of breath from Prea at the being’s realization. I guess that’s not surprising, Prea thought to herself.

“Come, my daughter,” the woman repeated, arm still beckoning her forward. Prea’s feet moved without command, carrying her towards the ethereal ghost. She raised her own hand as she neared, placing it on the woman’s offered palm and, though there was no corporeal hand to hold, Prea felt a warm pressure tingling against her skin. She lifted her eyes from her hand to the woman’s face.

“You’re Aylin, aren’t you?” Prea asked, barely above a whisper.

“Yes, child. I am the daughter of the moon,” she replied simply. “And I’ve been watching over you for some time now.”

“You have?” Prea was shocked. “I don’t understand…” Her voice trailed off and she looked out at the smooth surface of the sea, its proximity calming her emotions.

With her free hand, Aylin placed her invisible fingers under Prea’s chin and lightly guided her face back until they were eye to eye once more. “You’ve been through so much, child. I am so proud of you,” she said, silver tears welling in her eyes. “I never wanted this for you. So much loss and pain in your short life. And yet, you’ve handled it with such maturity and grace.”

Prea tried to shake her head, uncomfortable with where this conversation was going. “But I don’t even remember…” she began.

“Just because you don’t remember, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen,” Aylin interrupted quietly. “I know you have questions. You’ve been told stories about your life and who you used to be. But there are still things you do not know.”

“But do I even want to remember?” Prea wondered. “Maybe I’m better off this way, without the pain and the loss. I know it happened but I don’t feel it. I can’t feel it. Why would I want to feel all of that again?”

The tingling pressure left Prea’s hand as Aylin raised it to brush the hair off of her face. Everyone else wanted her to remember, Kael and Alvie, Carr and Beda and Dal. They had given her time when she first got back, but as time wore on they tried subtly at first and then more overtly. No one had ever asked her what she had wanted. Prea could only assume that they had been honest with her, but she could never be sure. And they hadn’t exactly painted a pretty picture of her past.  

“There is always going to be pain. You can’t feel loss if you have never known love. You would want to be kept in the dark to save yourself the pain, and sacrifice all the good, all the love in the process?” Aylin countered, as Prea looked away. “I know what you’ve seen, the flickers and flashes of your past. Don’t you want to know what they mean? Don’t you want to remember your mother and father? I can promise you that it was not all pain and heartbreak. There was love and happiness, friendship and family.”

Prea shook her head, trying hard to reconcile what she was feeling and what was happening. “But what if I don’t like my life? Or like the person I was? At least now I have a fresh start,” Prea admitted somewhat selfishly, avoiding Aylin’s eyes. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and stared out at the water, the wind and sea creating a harmony in her ears.

Aylin knew the woman that stood beside her; had watched her from birth as she grew into a child and then a young woman, reluctantly taking on the responsibility of the household and her siblings. She hadn’t even reached adulthood yet. Aylin had watched as Prea lost her mother and fell in love for the first time, had watched her crumble at the loss of her father and fiancé, had watched as she faced the threat of losing her little brother.

“But that’s not what’s bothering you, is it?” Aylin questioned. Prea remained silent, but Aylin didn’t prod or pressure; she just needed to wait until Prea was ready to admit what Aylin already knew. She was a mother after all and knew when her children had to do something on their own.

“I felt it,” Prea muttered simply.

Aylin just watched her, letting the silence do the prodding. Prea needed to say what she was thinking, what she was feeling, what she feared. Only then would she be able to truly move on.

“I felt the power, the immensity of love. I felt it in my whole being, every part of me and if that’s the good then the bad is…very, very bad.” She paused. “I don’t know if I can handle that and I’m scared of what will happen if I can’t,” Prea confessed, finally returning Aylin’s gaze.

“You can handle it. You’ve already lived it. And if you can’t, well, it’s good you’re not alone,” Aylin assured her. “I know you, Prea. I look after all of the children of this earth, but I pay close attention to the children of me and mine.”

“What?” Prea exclaimed.

“I’ve watched you, Prea. I’ve looked after you your whole life,” Aylin explained. “I know you.”

“If you know so much about me and my life, tell me…what was wrong with Carr? They said after the funeral ritual, he just wouldn’t wake up. They tried everything and nothing worked. What happened?” she demanded. Turns out she really did want those answers.

“I see you’ve found what you really want,” Aylin noted, eyes sparkling. “It began the night your brother was born when both he and your mother died and passed on. They briefly resided in the next realm before being summoned back to life. But they did not return unharmed, though it was not a visible wound. Their souls were no longer intact; a part remained in the next realm.

“Your mother and brother were connected by their shared experience. When she died a part of him went with her, leaving your brother weaker than before. That was when his coughing fits began,” Aylin continued.

“Your father helped save your brother the night he was born and they were connected in their own right, if differently. Your father was like an anchor tying him to this world. When your father passed on, again, a part of your brother went with him into the next realm. His weakened state left him vulnerable. Too much of his soul remained in the next realm with your parents, and he was left in a deep sleep.”

“Say that’s all true, then how did he wake? Kael told me that when he arrived, Carr was already awake and healthy. He didn’t even need the stone. What changed?” Prea asked, riveted by the story Aylin told her. Although some would never believe it, deep in her heart she knew it was true.

“You did,” she replied simply.

“What? How?” Prea asked surprised.

“Prea, my daughter,” Aylin said, tucking a piece of Prea’s hair behind her ear. “You believed in the power—of nature, of the elements, of the sun and the moon, of the universe. But, more importantly, you respected it. You believed in me and my love, in our family, in our lives and our legacy. You believed in love and faith and hope. You showed your intelligence and trust, your bravery and courage, and most of all your selflessness on your journey to save your brother. Prea, you proved your worthiness and found the stone.”

Prea stared, mouth open, speechless.

“You don’t remember anything before that family found you, saved you. You fell through the ice, but you managed to make it out and down the mountain. You were badly injured, cold and starving. You had hit your head and finally collapsed when you could go no further.”

Prea wasn’t sure she wanted to hear any of this. There was an ominous tone to the story and, though she was alive, standing right here on her cliffs, she suddenly didn’t want to know all the facts and specifics.

“You closed your eyes, tired and alone, and drifted off. Your last conscious thought was a plea: your life in exchange for Carr getting better. You offered your soul, your entirely whole soul, in place of your brother’s. Your worthiness caught the eye of the universe and the universe listened. That’s what saved him.”

Her thoughts wouldn’t form in her mind. It didn’t make any sense. If she had sacrificed herself for Carr, that would mean she had to die for her soul to take his place. But they were both alive and well. How could that be? “But…we’re both here…”

“You willingly gave yourself to save Carr and you did in fact pass on, for longer than you would believe. The sacrifice was made. You had no control over that family finding you and saving your life. But know that the balance was maintained. Your brother’s soul is whole once more. Yours is no longer.”

“Is that why I can see you?” Prea asked quietly, trying to connect the dots.

“No. You can see me because I want you to, through my power and the power of All Hallows Eve.”

“What does it mean? That my soul is no longer whole?”

“It means you have a foot in the next realm, just like your mother years ago. It isn’t something you should notice. If I hadn’t told you, you never would have known.”

Do I feel different? Prea wondered. Well, I wouldn’t know, now, would I? But now they were back to the question at hand, to know the past or not. None of these revelations were making Prea any more eager to remember her life before. She still couldn’t decide, so she asked something she was mildly curious about.

“What about the stone? Would it have worked? If I had managed to make it back, would it have saved him?” she asked.

“I cannot say. I have no sense of the future or knowledge of what might have been. Everything happens for a reason, my daughter. Trust that things will work out the way they are meant to.”

Prea was still trying to piece all of this information together, to understand the puzzle. “I held the stone in my hands. I felt the power of your love flow through me, but I didn’t recall my past.”

“Child, when you held the stone you felt more than the power of my love. You felt some of your past, maybe saw things, and didn’t want it to restore your memories,” Aylin answered. “You have a choice in this world, you always have a choice.”

There was more to the story than met the eye. Since waking without memories, Prea had been relying solely on feeling, instinct and intuition. After all her family and friends had shared, and though she didn’t know them, she sensed they were still keeping something from her. The flickers of memories came first, along with echoes of past feelings. Then there were the stories cut short, the glances shared and the whispers spoken behind her back. She was sure they did it for her benefit, to save her some mixture of emotions, but it changed nothing. The truth came out in the following weeks; she had lost more than her mother and father.

“The story of my life isn’t exactly daisies and rainbows and sunshine,” Prea began with a deep sigh. “They tried to spare me pain and confusion. There was no way they could hide the truth about Mama and Papa, but they hid others. I saw it, felt it, sensed it somehow, not to mention the flickers of my past. Whatever they kept from me had to be exceptional compared to all they had shared. What other reason is there for the secrecy? If my memories would only lead to more pain, then I didn’t want to remember. I held the stone in that time, before I knew their secret.” She let out a sound of exasperation and looked desperately into Aylin’s blue eyes.

“How much pain can a person endure? It’s hard now and I’m a stranger to it. I didn’t…I don’t think I can survive experiencing it all over again. Not my past or my journey and fall.” Prea choked out a hopeless laugh. “I felt the purity of love, how it can fill you and make you fly. And I know I lost it, not once but thrice. It’s unimaginable and yet, it’s my past, my reality.”

“But Prea, darling, you can never truly lose someone,” Aylin began, placing her transparent hand on Prea’s chest, right above her heart. “They live on forever in you, in your heart and the hearts of those they loved. Remember, they are the warmth of the sun’s rays and the time in all your days. They are the song of a lonely lark and the quiet beating of your heart.” She paused, holding Prea’s face between her ghostly hands and looked deep into her eyes. “I am the glow of the moon at night and they are my many stars shining bright,” Aylin whispered, kissing Prea lightly on the forehead. Then she was gone.

Prea looked around, her fingertips brushing her cheek which was still warm from Aylin’s otherworldly touch. Had that really happened? It felt like a dream, standing on the edge of the cliff surrounded by darkness. But it wasn’t true darkness. Prea raised her chin, eyes gazing at the night sky where the moon shone like a beacon of hope in the darkness. Her presence calmed Prea’s pounding heart. And to the right of the moon was a cluster of stars, three to be exact, shining brighter than all the rest.

* * *

It came like a flood, like rushing water bearing down on the dam within her mind, obliterating it. A massive wave came forth, spilling over the walls and blocks below, drowning the rest of the fortified areas. Prea’s eyes closed and she gasped at the bombardment of images flying through her mind. One hand rose to her chest as she bent at the waist, her other hand clutching her leg, keeping herself from keeling over completely. Images and memories flowed, shifted and morphed, creating a stream of her life before her eyes.

She was a little girl again, her beautiful mother reading her the story of Aylin and Ciro. Then her father was tucking her and her sister into bed, telling them a story as the night sky darkened outside their window. The image changed to the woods, where she hid behind a tree and watched her mother stand atop the cliff calling on nature to bring her father home safe and sound. Back in the house, her mother’s scream pierced the night Carr was born and she was reliving her fear as she ran like she was on fire to get the doctor before her father was introducing them to their baby brother Carr.

Then she was fifteen and hopeless after her mother’s death, her brother’s waking cries pulling her away from her drowning grief. Now she was on the cliff, taking her mother’s place and watching her father’s ship sail off into the distance. Back inside, she and Alvie were fighting as Carr played in the background before the image changed and her father was at the door introducing her to his new crewmember, Leal.

To her classroom where she was teaching kids the same stories her mother taught her and Leal was surprising her when school was out. He was buying Carr sweets and making her laugh, as love blossomed inside her heart. She was so happy and in love with her whole life before her.

Then it was gone.

Dal was in the doorway telling her that her father and her future were gone. The hopelessness returned, but she was responsible for her siblings. To the cliff once more, where they were saying goodbye to those they lost, throwing bay laurel, rosemary and periwinkle offerings into the sea. Now she was in Carr’s bedroom, her fear tangible as he refused to wake.

She was on a wooded road being accosted by a strange young man. Then face down in a stream, her body aching after the fall down the rock wall. Now in Flint and Kael was offering to accompany her on her journey. She was helping Kael across the cove and into the tunnel where they walked hand in hand through the never-ending darkness. Then they stood in the tunnel opening and Kael was kissing her before she was underwater, looking at a carving of Aylin and Ciro as she freed the stone from the wall.

Then she was hanging precariously from the ice, throwing the stone to Kael and making him promise to leave her. She was falling, her face hitting jagged rock as she tumbled into nothingness. Her leg collided with earth, snapping like a twig, the pain fierce and all-consuming. She was in a narrow opening, clawing her way through before the crevasse opened into what appeared to be another of the tunnels under the mountain.

There were only flashes now, bits and pieces of her journey down the mountain. She had been out of her mind in pain. She collapsed, unable to move another inch and she drifted, tired, hungry, cold, and knew her fate. Then she was asking that her brother be saved, offering her life for his and, with that, she took her last breath.

She was back home on her cliff, but it was different now, just a shadow of the real place. There was a light on the horizon, the sea now signifying whatever came next. She didn’t know how, but she knew that all she had to do was step off the edge and she would be free.

But her brother was calling to her and she turned. She had been sure she was alone. It seemed that this was an in between place, a limbo or ghostly realm. Or perhaps it was just his dream. Whatever it was, wherever they were, she took it as a gift.

Prea, what are you doing here? I haven ’ t seen anyone in ages, Carr said.

She knew what she had to do. This was all for her brother. Cricket, everything is going to be all right. You’re going to be fine. She crossed to him and held his hands.

Prea, you ’ re scaring me, he said.

She looked at this boy who had already lost so much and knew he was going to lose more. Cricket…I need you to remember that I will always be with you, no matter what. I will always look out for you, look after all of you, but I have to go be with Mama and Papa now.

Carr’s mouth dropped open in shock. No. No, Prea. That can’t be, he protested.

Tears streamed down her face now; no one should have to say goodbye like this.

I need to tell you, someone’s going to come see you. His name is Kael. He’s…well, it’s hard to explain. You’re his family now and he’s going to need you. Trust him, he’ll keep all of you safe. Just like he kept me safe. Prea wiped the wetness from her cheeks. But if Kael is doubtful, tell him that he did all he could. There was nothing else to be done. And tell everyone, including Kael, that I love them and everything is going to be all right, she said. She pushed a few free strands of hair out of his face as her brother began to fade in front of her eyes. She didn’t have much time. Don’t be sad, cricket. Don’t any of you be sad. I’ll be fine. I love you. And he was gone, hopefully back to his bed where he would finally wake.

She was looking out to the sea once more, standing on the edge for a few moments. She looked inside her heart and came to terms with her fate. She was stepping off the cliff and into the unknown, passing over, and she was weightless as she closed her eyes. When she opened them, she was in another world high in the sky, her mother, father and Leal standing before her, smiling, welcoming her home. Time ceased as she found peace.

Suddenly she was being pulled back like metal to a magnet, before she was in a strange bed, confused with no idea how she got there. Her mind and body were battered and broken, taking weeks to heal, some not at all. Then she was on a boat sailing down the river toward the bay and strangers were calling out her name, running to her, hugging her. She was home where her family and friends were taking care of her. Then she was at the harvest festival and now it was All Hallows Eve and she was dancing with Kael…before she ran away and came here.  

Prea straightened slowly, looking to the sky again as little rivers ran down her face. She was right, experiencing the pain and loss and grief of her entire life all at once was almost unbearable, her mind and heart about to explode.

But Aylin was also right; you can’t have pain without love. And love is where she would find her salvation.

* * *

The group returned to the Reed home from the festival, looking forward to enjoying the food they had prepared earlier in the day. But Kael hesitated at the door, still concerned with Prea’s absence. He walked to the side of the house, drawn away from the rest.

“Kael? Where are you going?” Beda called after him, causing him to turn. “She’ll be fine, Kael. Come inside.”

He stared at Prea’s best friend, attempting to trust her instincts about his love. But he instincts of his own and they were telling him where to find her.

“I won’t be long,” he called back to Beda and walked away without waiting for a response.

Around back, he moved towards the first lantern at the edge of the forest and, as he crossed the woody threshold, he felt a shock run through him. It was power. He had never really felt it, except for the stone, but Prea had talked about it before. His feet followed the lit path through the trees, branches brushing up against him, sparking him as leaves rustled and crunched as he trod over them.

He came to a halt at the edge of the wood and his heart skipped a beat at the sight of her. There he heard the steady sound of the crashing waves and the cool breeze that made the branches dance and leaves fly. She stood, a white light in the blackness of the night, her wavy hair tumbling down her back, swirling in the salty breeze. All he wanted to do was go to her, hold her forever and never let her go. She had frightened him, running off like that, away from him. He had lost her once and, by a miracle or fate, she had found him again.

Kael loosened his feet and stepped out of the tree’s cover onto the cliff. He moved towards her, coming to rest at her side and his eyes went to her automatically, studying her face in the glow of the moon. Tears were spilling out of her grass green eyes and her hands were at her sides, making no move to brush them aside. His gaze remained fixed on her, in awe of her beauty, her character, her soul. His breath caught in his throat when she turned and looked up at him, straight into his eyes, into the center of his being.

“Thank you,” she murmured into the night.

Kael tilted his head in confusion, perplexed by her statement.

“For what?” he wondered. There was a sadness in her eyes, highlighted by the reflection of the moon and stars in her emerald irises. Her lips curved up to the left in a half smile as she met his confused expression.

“For being there and believing in me. For doing as I asked. For leaving me,” she admitted softly. “For keeping my family safe when I couldn’t.”

“You…you…” he stammered.

“Remember?” she finished for him. “Yes, I remember everything.”

She left him speechless. All he could do was grab her by the waist, pull her towards him and wrap his arms firmly around her as he’d wanted to do ever since she returned. Prea responded just as enthusiastically, going up on her tiptoes and throwing her arms around his neck.

“How?” Kael whispered into her ear and she couldn’t help but laugh lightly in response.

“It’s a long story,” she replied, drawing back a little. She was still on her toes, hands around his neck, but now she could look into his midnight blue eyes. “I love you,” Prea said, knowing they both needed it more than anything else. Kael just dropped his head, resting his forehead against hers.

“I love you so much, Prea,” he proclaimed quietly, as she stroked the back of his neck soothingly. “But don’t ever do that again.”

“Do what?” she asked.

“Don’t ever leave me and don’t ask me to leave you,” Kael answered, voice thick with emotion. “I can’t lose you again.”

“I promise,” Prea replied, dropping her heels to the ground.

She shifted her hands from his neck, moving them down and around until they were clasped about his waist. Prea rested her head against Kael’s chest and his hold tightened as he let his head rest on top of hers. She listened to the steady beating of his heart as she looked up. The moon seemed bigger and brighter in the night’s sky, its glow bathing them in Aylin’s happiness and protection. And, even in the moon’s increased radiance, there were three stars to the right gleaming with all the love, light and life in the universe. Those three stars reminded her that, at this very moment, she was surrounded by all those she loved most in this world and, in that knowledge, Prea finally found some peace.

The End