It's one of those times…I'm just here…wanting to sleep yet unable to. I'll work instead. But the voice doesn't feel like presenting itself for the task at hand. It goes, PBBBTTHHHHHHHHH (raspberry raspberry!)--a metaphorical bird flip. Kinda reminding me of when we'd have guests that my mother was trying to make a good impression on and so would demand good behavior from me and to dress well which would make me do the opposite--of course. You didn't mess with mom…never. Back in a time when "Because I said so…" was actually used in parenting vs this "just talk to them and have them understand" which i agree is important sometimes but NOT when the food is getting cooked, the house needs to be cleaned and the little shit has messed up the hand towels in the guest washroom! ("Little Shit" being moi …)

Seriously, mom asked me nicely to use the washroom UPSTAIRS but I chose to use the guest facilities because I really really really HAD TO GO. But Mom knew better…you can't use those notes you took watching Mommy Dearest before a party. No, not cuz the kid will tell your guests that they were being abused--back then parents complimented each other based on how rigorous corporal punishment was. "Thooooose Were The Dayyyyysss…" She couldn't do anything cuz retaliation from a PO'ed kid before a party?????? THAT was a game of Russian Roulette. "Will he wrinkle his clothes so he looks like we don't own an iron?" "Will TODAY be the day he actually eats his Indian food with his hands when I specifically said he could use a fork?" "When we ask him to dance to show how cute and entertaining our child is, will he turn on…ENGLISH music??"

Of course those fears were only in her mind…she also had my older brother and younger sister to contend with…but that's another story for another day.