The presidential election campaign has been going on for roughly 63 years. Some of you were around to hear Adlai Stevenson marvel over five-year-old Hillary’s grasp of foreign policy. Not only that–boy, was she fast on the playground! And never a sick day from school. Everybody said so.

Others of you recall the 1984 sighting off Long Island of a stunning and provocatively noisy orange creature. It was a sort of floating mouth with scales that looked like dollar signs and a thousand grasping, finger-like protrusions. When the thing swam ashore, the locals realized with joy that it was our good friend Donald Trump, hurrying to a rally in Ohio! Long may he run on his amphibious protrusions.

Now, suddenly, voting day is nearly upon us. I wish we had another six months to a year before we had to vote. Why end the fun? This campaign has been one long hayride of delight.

The only thing that has bothered me is the shortsightedness of the research on voting blocs. All we hear about are the women voters, the blacks, the Latinos, the idiots, and don’t forget the women. There are some crucial blocs of voters that have thus far been ignored, much to the peril of our candidates.

As a bipartisan service, I offer the following list of overlooked blocs. There are undecided voters lurking within each of these groups. If they get a little late-stretch love, who knows but they might determine America’s future.

Voters who buy expensive fresh produce but rarely get around to eating it.

Voters who are quietly proud of their high arches.

Voters deeply amused by Gertrude Stein.

Voters who kind of like the way stink bugs smell.

Voters who sleep in the upright and locked position.

Voters who strongly prefer Anne Sexton to Sylvia Plath.

Voters who remain silent and completely focused when the engine light comes on.

Voters who know art when they see it but haven’t seen any lately.

Voters who intend to meet Jack Kerouac in heaven.

Voters who met Jack Kerouac on earth but didn’t realize it at the time.

Voters who identify as cat people but persist in owning dogs.

Voters who continue to floss daily despite news reports saying it’s unnecessary.

Voters who have never, ever had the hiccups.

Voters who live for the day after tomorrow.

Voters who cast a cold eye on life and death but would not let a horseman pass by.

Ivanka, Robby, Roger, Huma, there’s still time to appeal to these groups. Get moving, you chuckleheads, and don’t forget the women!

Anne Sexton