The end of the process of our socialization as children is to produce an "I" who assumes what the culture at large believes, who behaves in the ways that are prescribed, and who imagines it is an autonomous individual with free choice. The person's authentic nature must be erased, or at least put in extended hibernation, in order for the conditioning to take: this is the primary drive behind the punishment we received. A person who has been socialized properly will presuppose that they exercise real discernment--otherwise they may catch on to the deception that is happening--and will at the same time blindly follow the dictates of conditioned mind.

But how can this be? Look at the world and you will see all kinds of people doing all kinds of things. Some wear suits and ties while others wear nose-rings and kilts. Some eat tofu and some eat steak. Some people are mellow and passive, while others forcefully, even violently, exercise their personalities upon the world. No person looks or acts the same as any other person: how can it be that we are all brainwashed in the same way?

The thing that everyone shares despite appearances is a belief in identity. My teacher used to say that suffering is caused by "the illusion of a self that is separate from Life". We all believe that we are "me", that we are some unique thing apart from all other things. And in a way, we are! We are each absolutely unique as expressions of Life in this place and time--but we are not separate. In our true nature we are all the same in a way that is perfectly unique at the same time. The thing about us that is not unique at all is our identity. Whether you have a crew cut and sit on the board of directors, or have a blue cow-lick and play the didgeridoo, if you believe you are a "someone" then the result is the same. Two people who are "identified" as "me" are doing the same process, even if it looks different in form. Identity is the creation of conditioned mind: if we can be made to believe in a separate self then we are cut off from our true nature and the Life that animates our world.

So how is an "I" constructed? This will sound familiar from previous blogs. An "I" assumes that the voices talking in it's head is "me thinking". An "I" believes what s/he was taught to believe as a child, and will not accept any other interpretation. An "I" projects its beliefs and assumptions onto the world and imagines that they are true. An "I" is made such that nothing in its experience will ever suggest that it is not real.

An "I" may do all sorts of things to assert its autonomy. It may accumulate a big pile of money or a collection of sexual conquests. It may reject money and live as a hobo. It may scrupulously obey the laws of society, or flagrantly flaunt them. It will certainly cling to all it's pre-conditioned preferences and repulsions, all of its hopes and desires, because those are what it is made of, but conditioned mind has no problem with any of this. All thought and action supports identity if it is not conscious, and identity is the end to which conditioning is always aiming. A person who is identified is firmly in relationship to and controlled by conditioned mind, and can be used to manufacture suffering. This is what being "me" is all about.

The one thing that an "I" will never experience is happiness. There is no joy, no peace, no connection, no real ease in being a "someone". An "I" is not real, and so needs to assert itself constantly in order to maintain the appearance of reality; life as an "I", on the other hand, is full of stress and trouble. Outside of identity, however, everything is good. Of course, there is a sort of happiness that comes when an "I" get what it wants, but that is not what I'm talking about. Real happiness comes when we let go of the need to be a someone and join anonymously with Life instead. There is no separate self; we are all Life, and the experience of Life is happiness no matter what is going on.

All of this is easy to say, and much harder to live. I understand that, and, lest I give the impression that I am beyond all this, I assure you that I am and remain in the same boat as everyone else. I am navigating my way through the maze of identity every day as best I can, as I wish everyone would do. The thing I feel most grateful for, however, is that I have a ton of experience with identity at this point, and I have tools. Without the tools of awareness practice the work I am promoting in this blog would be impossible. If the reader has been following along I hope s/he is beginning to grasp what is going on behind the scenes and how to question the deception that's happening. And there is much more to come, so stay tuned.