1- If you love and crave touch, you will not change someone who was raised with a stingy, judgmental background, undistinguished by them as such. They will think that what they do is normal and that you are too needy.(“I don’t go for all that touchy – feely stuff.”)

2- You are not doing a potential partner a favor by accepting his/her beliefs that impact your life – whether in the area of money, sex, human development, gender or race. When I mentioned that I had gotten tremendous value from both participating and being on the training teams of mens’ weekends- a recent acquaintance remarked that her new frequent companion had said upon hearing this:

“Mens’ weekends? They’re probably all gay.”…. as if that would be important. That diminishing nasty tone is one they bring everywhere- and it is not your job to rescue, fix, rehabilitate, or in any way, shape or form,to try to save them. They don’t want to be saved and are quite content in their anger and misery. Let them be.

3- Notice what people accept in their lives. I found it extraordinary that a relatively newly married couple would not be making sure that the well being of both partners was a joint priority, not something which required permission or negotiation. Most marriage vows usually include love, honor and cherish. Ask beforehand what your potential mate believes about these words, after you have been dating for a while…

4- Notice whether you and your inner sanctum/cartel/significant other/family gossip/talk shit about other people…If you do- stop /desist/cease immediately. as sure as God made little green apples, you will be the subject sooner than later.

5- Jealousy/suspicion/ anger collapsed with “passion”.

Run the other way. No excuses. No kidding…

I love you. Lots of folks do. Your turn.

Namaste, yours…

@CoachMeDave