President Obama addresses youth rally: "Ask not what your country can

do for you; ask what kind of crazy fucking you can do for your country."

PRESIDENT OBAMA TO AMERICA'S YOUTH: "LET'S GET FUCKING!"

"Yes, We Can Fuck Our Way to Prosperity!" Prez Exhorts Young People at Washington Rally

Reuters—In a surprise appearance at a youth rally on the Mall in Washington, President Obama drew a rousing ovation when he proposed a simple answer to America's Medicare and Social Security shortfalls.

"Look," he began, "we older folks have a little problem. It's a mathematical problem. America's population is aging rapidly, and there aren't enough workers to pay into Medicare and Social Security to keep them afloat. My Republican friends want to slash those programs, leaving many people without the means to carry on. But my economic team has been working hard to find a better solution. And I believe we have. But as with all difficult problems, the solution is going to involve some sacrifice."

The crowd of young people fidgeted at the mention of "sacrifice," boos and scattered, defiant shouts of "No!" rising from parts of the crowd.

"Now, now," the president continued. "Hear me out."

"I know you young folks love your Facebook and your Twitter and your Google +, your Spotify and Pandora and Photobucket and all that online stuff. And I know that many of you, when you're not twittering, are working hard in school, in internships, and some of you—a few of you—are even gainfully employed. But tonight I'm going to ask you to step away from your electronic devices and make some time for your country. Because, my friends, while you're twittering, America is burning. So it's time to do something for this great country. It's time to step away from all that busy-ness and get busy!"

The crowd, sullen and bored only a moment before, erupted into applause and cheers.

"My administration," the president continued to mounting cheers, "loves young people, but we need more of them. Millions more, and there's only one way to get that done, and that's to do it! So grab a couple of forties, drop some Barry White, or some Celine Dion for you white folks, and make your move. Copulate and populate! Fuck for FICA! Yes, we can, my friends. We can fuck our way to prosperity!"

The president's message was met with a rousing, sustained, standing ovation.