Today In “Things Said To Myself While Revising”
Jaye is home. But she’s asleep, so I’m still talking to myself.:
“The ego, Bobby!”
“Whoa, that’s a bad sentence.”
“Ohhhhh!”
“Dumbass.” (And for once this was directed at myself instead of Bobby.)
“Oh, god, that’s . . .”
“Groovy.”
“What the fuck?”
“Ooooh . . . that’s better . . . yeah!”
“Jesus fucking Christ!” (This was after deleting the third unneeded “really” in one paragraph.)
“What the . . .?”
(Also, this song started playing while I was revising and it is so freaking appropriate for Bobby and Karen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsmUOdmm02A)
“One, two, three, four, five!” (I like counting them as I type the line of asterisks I use for a scene break. I’m easily amused.)
“There we go.”
“Fuck it.”
“Awwwww!” (I wrote a good bit of romantic-y-ness!)
“Jesus, what is with all the fucking ‘really’s?”
“Oh, wait. That one’s okay.”
“So much class.”
(Bonus conversation with the cat: “Jesus! Would you quit pulling the earbuds out of my ears?!” Cat then tangled a paw in the earbud cord while meowing loudly at me and digging a few claws into my shoulder. “Ow. Fuck. Ow. I guess that’s a no then.”)
“Oh.”
“Bloody hell.”
“Good.”
“Owwww!”
“The hell did I just do to that sentence?”
“‘Whatnot’? Really?” (Yes, it’s a word I use all the time. It is not a word Bobby would use.)
“Why do I have that whole clause?”
“Much better!”
“Gods, Bobby.”
“Gods, Bobby!”
“You smug motherfucker.”
(Nearly laughed myself sick at this bit:
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Why did I have to go and get involved with a smart woman?)
“God, Bobby.”
“Uhmmm . . . what?”
“Why is she rolling her eyes ‘again’ when she hasn’t rolled her eyes in several pages?”
“Fuck it.”
“There we go.”
“What the . . .?”
“What the . . .?”
“Much betterer.”
“Fuck. There.”
(You know you’re dealing with a really classy character when you change “shagged” to “fucked”.)
