Since its inception, this Saturday's Iowa Straw Poll is the first one ever I failed to attend. And it would have been easy for me.  I was speaking at a J-conference in St. Louis Friday morning and I easily could have flown or even driven over to Ames.  But what the hell for?

It was a foregone conclusion that one of the moondoggies was going to win and so it turned out.  Ron Paul, who would pretty much abolish the federal government, came within a whisker of outplacing Michele Bachmann who would do pretty much the same — except she would also ban most of the first ten amendments to the constitution.

Wolfman Jack wasn't running nor was Muamar Kaddafi so they both got beaten by write-in howler Rick Perry, the Pizza Guy, Mr. WhoIsPalenty and Mitt Romney — the latter who has been given the title of front-runner because I guess somebody has to have it so the press has someone to talk about.

Driving in from LAX and toward meeting someone for dinner here in L.A. in the afternoon, I was listening to the post-poll chatter on CNN and it was beyond absurd. Those poor predictable babbling boring pundits had to fill like 90 minutes tut-tutting about what is dead obvious and what can be summed up in about 25 words:

Bachmann and Paul appeal to the fringe of the party, sometimes mistakenly called the base, and while at least the latter MIGHT be able to win the nomination, she would have to go through a brain transplant to be a viable general election candidate.  Ditto with Mystery Man Rick Perry. And, Ron Paul?  You gotta be kidding.

Period. End of analysis. Toss it live to Wolf (Blitzer).

Republicans may be crazy but they are not stupid. The real base of the party knows it needs someone who won't scare little children to confront Obama in any real way. It ain't gonna be Bachmann.

There's really nothing, absolutely nothing else, to be said about the importance of the Iowa Straw Poll.  Stick a fork in it.

Oh… except for one thing. Back in 2008, John McCain didn't even participate in the poll nor even really in the caucuses a half year later. And if I remember correctly he won the nomination of his party.

Small detail.