Writing this post is painful. I have given you fabulous readers nothing but bad news lately, and I’m about to hand over some more…

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Two weeks ago, I was being a responsible adult (true story) and making important phone calls. After I finalized my last one, I hit END CALL like any other person would. But here’s where things went south…

As I was hitting END CALL, my phone somersaulted (seriously, I’ve no clue how this happened) out of my hand and fell to the ground.

The scene was out of a horro...