Alone or Lonely?
The first collection of poems I published was entitled Escape Artist, and the title poem referred to “the wonderland of reflective thought” and “the utopia of the melancholy soul.” An anniversary edition of this compilation is forthcoming. The poem was my attempt to describe that place of retreat and solitude, an occupational hazard for those of us who dabble in the creative arts. A life of the mind requires such a place, although the muse is just as likely to strike at noisy and crowded moments as it is when you deliberately retreat to the place of being alone.
It goes without saying that being alone does not equal being lonely. Let me be clear—my definition of lonely is that hollow experience of wanting companionship and human interaction, but finding none in that moment or in that season. The trick is to prevent the moment from becoming a season. Alas, too many in our human experience extended seasons of loneliness. The older people get, the more likely this becomes. There’s another piece in Escape Artist that expresses some of these sentiments entitled “When the Phone Doesn’t Ring.”
There are steps we can take to reduce our exposure to loneliness, although we can all agree that there is some upside. Most importantly, loneliness can be an excellent vehicle for self-discovery and analysis, a wonderful cocoon within which we can come to terms with who we really are and what we really want. My desire is that my verse can be a source of comfort in those moments and a means of encouraging reflection and celebration of everything we have going for us.
A few other practical tips: try creative pursuits like drawing or sculpting. Write down your thoughts to find your own voice. Go for a long walk somewhere with a nice view, and don’t forget to dream.
Sounds trite, I know, but chances are you’re going to be okay.
Reference
Carter, Sherrie Bourg. 2012. “6 Reason You Should Spend More Time Alone.” Psychology Today, January 31, 2012. Accessed February 16, 2017. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/high-octane-women/201201/6-reasons-you-should-spend-more-time-alone.
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