Each year

more people die from suicide

than from all the world’s armed conflicts

An issue America will undoubtedly solve

with increased military spending

while also continuing the harvest of occupied Afghanistan’s poppy supply

(they produce 90% of the world’s opium)

which will then be made into overpriced prescription pain killers

whose exorbitant costs will be subsidized

using the public’s own money

in the form of a private health insurance subscription discount

as negotiated by the host of The Celebrity Apprentice

& not the host of The Celebrity Apprentice who actually has governing experience,

the other one.

But yeah, the shocking part is that people are killing themselves.