ABSENCE

["Absence" is a poetic piece i originally composed in Nepali: one of a few, rare, poetic compositions i had originally done in Nepali and later translated  into English. A lot of people speaking in a video inspired me to read out this poem on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMle6pFrNzk
My voice does not sound beautiful, or attractive, or pleasant — a hoarsely croaking throat as that of a frog suffering from cold!  And that too required my waiting until late night hours for a couple of days to record the audio on my mobile phone: man-made noises fill the air around me most of the time and that disturbs my peace, my quietude, my concentration!!
 The text, the video clips, the audio, all are my original. The video clips were filmed on an Android handset and later combined and edited.

"Absence" is a void of desperation, an emptiness of being alone (not that of choosing to be, but...), a weariness that oftentimes hits us all; and the tiredness, the defeat, the giving up, the surrender... i try to fill it with what i can create (otherwise i have far fewer privileges! ), and fell grateful for what there is; otherwise there is not much in there!!!  There is an absence...

In all this absence, thank you for being.]

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iat oncea loss of existence!picked up by some strangerand pocketed alonga road to an alien land!
dropped somewherei, a friend for play!Time’s overflowbut closed by Death’s embrace!
a bridge between two worldscrossed overagain and again!
unheld tight to some bosomand thrown away fromthe very heart!but stillgrasped by some unknown handto be filled oncewith an empty life!
somewhere,someplaceunder manhunt,i, the unfound one!
in between life and death,among crowd after crowdof people, i,the unassimilated one!and yet entangledalone in a stranger weba sky that had wept without tears!
i am,and yet i am not!
unwovenash after a dream!just as suchthe absence that is me,nowhere noplacethe un-existence that is me!
of relationsof connectionsamong the whirlwinds of them alli, the untolerated onethe non-existent onethe un-present one
i,the absence…silence…!
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कुनै समयकतै हराएको मान्छे म!  कुनै अपरिचितले टपक्क  टिपेरपोल्टामा राखि हिँडेको---गुमनाम देशको बाटो!
कतै फुत्त खसेकोम, एउटा खेल्ने साथी! समयको बाढी मृत्यूले काखी च्यापेको म!
पटक पटक ओहोर दोहोर गरेको दुई दुनियाँको साँघु!
कसैले उठाएर छातीमा टाँस्न नसकेकोमनदेखि कतै फ्याँकिएको म! तर पनिकसैले च्पाप्प हात समातेरएक पटकलाई भरिएको रित्तो जिवन!
कहिँकतैखोज्दा खोज्दैनभेटिएको म! जिवन र मरणको बिचतिरमानिसहरुको भिड्---तर पनि कतै नसमेटिएको म!
एक्लै एक्लै एउटा अनौठो जालोमा अल्झेरबिना आँसु रोएको आकाश! 
म छुर पनि छैन।नसँगालिएको,सपना पछिको खरानी!
यस्तै यस्तै नभएको म,कहिँ कतै नरहेको म!
नाता र सम्बन्धकोभुमरीहरु माझकहिँ कसैले नसहेको म! हुँदै नभएको म, कतै नरहेको म!!  * * * * * * *
(Poem originally written in English; later translated into Nepali by the author. © Subarna Prasad Acharya, 2016, 2017; all rights reserved. Read out on YouTube by the author.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMle6pFrNzk )