The lesson about love somehow got confused along the way...  Somehow I'd learned that love was to earned rather than an automatic thing that I deserved.

It wasn't until I read "Wild Geese" by Mary Oliver that I really started to make the connection that I had it all wrong:

 (from my article "I Found Myself by Getting Lost")
Game changer.
So what I started to think... what love is and what love isn't:
          I long for a love
          in which no part of my soul
          need be hidden:
          who & where I am accepted.
          I long for a love
          who will kiss away my tears
          and hold me close.
          I long for a love
          who will dance with me
          under the stars.
          I long for a love
          who will labor beside me
          and spin tales long into the night.
          I long for a love
          that will behold my wild
          with wonder.
          I long for a love
          that reaches the depths
          of my mind, soul, heart.
          I long for a love
          that reaches me beyond
          when it's convenient
          and without any conditions.
          I long for a love          that leaves me breathless, wordless.
          Sometimes I see
          this love I long for
          her face stares at me
          in the mirror.