Everything was so chaotic in my head and in my world today, I wouldn’t notice the sound of the wind if it was tapping directly on my eardrums. So, no I won’t think about Lance today. I tried not to even blink too long for fear of having his memory flashback at me. While I was trying not to get lost in thought, would you believe someone had the nerve to add more unpleasantness to my day?

“Phallus.”

I spat my coffee. Not only was the coffee grimy and already putting a foul taste on my tongue, this guy walked up behind me and raped my ears with politically correct lingo. He just said penis, in my ear! I swerved around and threw him the nastiest look I could muster. How rude and disrespectful. The look on my face must have signaled to him I was not impressed but did nothing to wipe the smug and cocky smile off his face. Perv.

“Three across. The word is phallus. Seven letter word for male member. I figured I would help you out since you’ve been staring at the crossword puzzle for as long as I’ve been in this line and it is still fairly empty,” he said.

“I can solve my own crossword, thank you.”

I hope he caught wind of the eye and neck roll following my words as I turned and entered dickwad where phallus belonged. I held the paper upright long enough that if peep-over-my-shoulder-perv were checking my work, he could see the entry intended for his eyes. It didn’t matter what I wrote didn’t mean the same as the requested entry. Well, in a way it did but prick only has five letters and asshole was the wrong genetalia.

© 2017 Cee Elle Reid “Dear Diary”