Magic Happens
I kind of despise those bumper stickers that say things like, “Magic Happens” or “Make a wish on my Magic Merlin.” Words spread across the back of a car preaching, “Have a magical day” or “Powered by Magic.” They are often covered with witch hats, 5 pointed stars, flying unicorns, and rainbow colors. When I see these bumper stickers I instantly find myself judging the person who is driving the car, “Oh I am sure that person wears flowy skirts, or feathered hats, they must have chakra crystals hanging from their mirror.”I know awful, right?The really crazy thing is, I am most likely, just as “woo woo” as they are. I have attended shamanic circles, solstice gatherings, and spiritual rituals. I have had my tarot cards read, done past life regressions, and really believe in the theory that there is something bigger than myself. But for some reason these bumper stickers bug the heck out of me. I think this annoyance has something to do with my engrained belief system birthed from my Nebraskan roots of, “It is not magic that makes things happen, it is hard work, morals, and solid values.”This being said, after last weekend, I would now slather the back of my Highlander with those previously annoying stickers with the best of them. Why? Because something really magical happened last weekend; yes, I said it: “magical.” It was nothing telepathic, spellbinding, or wizardly but it was magical.What happened was I got in my car at 3:45 am last Thursday morning, to drive to San Francisco to meet up with my some of my oldest, and dearest friends of 20 years.What made this “City by the Bay” weekend so memorable was a series of events that occurred, conversations that cannot be replaced, and feeling and emotions that arrived that were unforgettable.
My friend Hilary, who is battling cancer, flew in from Austin to meet me so we could attend my dear friend Charlotte’s yoga retreat at the Green Gulch Zen Center. Charlotte is quite the merlin, she traveled from Tampa, Florida, with suitcases full of oils, journals, yoga props, and, yes, a cooler full of chocolate covered figs.Who does this?Charlotte does, because she wanted to create an unforgettable day of “magic.” She wished for a day where 20 women could stretch, breathe, laugh, and learn. Charlotte wanted to construct a world where we would be practicing yoga in a simplistic yurt, surrounded by eucalyptus trees, old growth forests, while the Pacific Ocean roared near by.Besides the California beauty and yoga, why I think this day was so magical was because unbeknownst to any of us, one of the biggest storms in years occurred that day in the Marin Headlands.While we were inside the yurt, quiet, and tranquil with a peaceful fire roaring, moving our bodies doing forward folds, warrior 1’s, and corpse pose, the outside world had a different agenda. Outside it was pouring rain, while howling winds were breaking off branches and acorns from the trees to pop and burst on the roof of the yurt. During this torrential downpour, what kept occurring to me was; this is life.Life is about how do we hold an internal space of peace and serenity inside our bodies, when our outside world may feel like a hurricane? How do we keep an inward solid core of knowing all is okay, when life is throwing at us cancer, death, divorce, or just really crappy bad days? How do we stop and look around to those who are closest to us with love, appreciation, and gratitude, instead of focusing outward on things and people that don’t feed our soul, or nourish our bodies?Why do we often stay outside in the rain? Because we are used to the storm, we all accept that this is part of life, and stopping to become quiet on the inside almost feels decadent or spoiled. But it is essential to stop, and quiet the inside, in order to calm the outer storm. The words that kept reoccurring in my mind were, it is not about what is on the outside that matters, it is what is on the inside that is transformative.I was reminded of this poignant lesson while I stopped my life to make this excursion to San Francisco for the weekend. Even though the previous week there was a tornado of sorts going on around me. This retreat was a day where I stopped my world of counseling, and carpooling, from packing lunches and providing motherly support to have a magical experience in the middle of a forest with friends and near and far.This was only one of many extraordinary things that happened over last weekend. Last weekend was about going inside in every sense of the word.It was about laying around inside a home, on a bed, three or four women sharing stories over tea and bottled water. Confessing our fears about being a mother, losing a parent, or dying of cancer. It was about brushing each other’s hair, as we learned to do as young girls 30 years ago, sharing advice, wisdom, or just kind words. Reassuring each other by saying, “It will all be okay, I know how you feel, life really sucks some days, or I am scared too.” It was about laughing so hard our stomachs ached, and tears rolled down our faces, over dumb decisions we made in our 20’s and 30’s, or just a joke that we knew friends for over 20 years would have a deep understanding to laugh about.I had a moment where I was sitting inside at a café with three of my friends, all in our 40’s, married, with children between the ages of 5-10. And sitting right next to us were four younger women, single, in their 20’s, childless (I think), and I was reminded of the magic of age and wisdom. I had an overwhelming sense of peace around the deep understanding that I am settling into my life in my 40’s. This grounding looks like conversations not about one-night stands, what to wear that evening, how drunk you were the night before or how hung-over you are today. No our conversations were about support, life decisions, husbands’ jobs, and our search for creativity and balance in the work life category.We talked for hours about siblings that have passed, infertility, and the deep pain around the addiction to perfection. Discussing how we prefer to now have one glass a wine versus 3-5 cocktails, questioning should we feed our kids gluten, disconnect our internet cables because of electronic waves, or who knows the best energy healer in town.And why this weekend was so magical for me is because this is where I want to be in my life at 43 years of age. I want to be a yoga retreat in meditation, versus a bar, I want to spend hours in a coffee shop with dear friends, then spending hours at my job, and I want to not care what the weather is like outside because I realize the inside is so much more important than the outside will ever be.I want to leave you with this thought, Magic does happen, everyday, not to sound to wizardly or “rainbowy”, but it does. Magic happens when you can keep a peaceful and tranquil inside, even when your outside world may be falling apart. You can “Have a magical day” by realizing the beauty of friendship, good coffee, and yummy food. Magic happens when you can sit for hours listening deeply to your friend’s stories and knowing that they can, and will listen to yours. Thank you my dear friends, Merlins, and magicians for a heart-opening, uncontrollably laughing, belly full weekend. I leave you to travel back to your homes but will forever hold you “Magically Inside” my heart.
My friend Hilary, who is battling cancer, flew in from Austin to meet me so we could attend my dear friend Charlotte’s yoga retreat at the Green Gulch Zen Center. Charlotte is quite the merlin, she traveled from Tampa, Florida, with suitcases full of oils, journals, yoga props, and, yes, a cooler full of chocolate covered figs.Who does this?Charlotte does, because she wanted to create an unforgettable day of “magic.” She wished for a day where 20 women could stretch, breathe, laugh, and learn. Charlotte wanted to construct a world where we would be practicing yoga in a simplistic yurt, surrounded by eucalyptus trees, old growth forests, while the Pacific Ocean roared near by.Besides the California beauty and yoga, why I think this day was so magical was because unbeknownst to any of us, one of the biggest storms in years occurred that day in the Marin Headlands.While we were inside the yurt, quiet, and tranquil with a peaceful fire roaring, moving our bodies doing forward folds, warrior 1’s, and corpse pose, the outside world had a different agenda. Outside it was pouring rain, while howling winds were breaking off branches and acorns from the trees to pop and burst on the roof of the yurt. During this torrential downpour, what kept occurring to me was; this is life.Life is about how do we hold an internal space of peace and serenity inside our bodies, when our outside world may feel like a hurricane? How do we keep an inward solid core of knowing all is okay, when life is throwing at us cancer, death, divorce, or just really crappy bad days? How do we stop and look around to those who are closest to us with love, appreciation, and gratitude, instead of focusing outward on things and people that don’t feed our soul, or nourish our bodies?Why do we often stay outside in the rain? Because we are used to the storm, we all accept that this is part of life, and stopping to become quiet on the inside almost feels decadent or spoiled. But it is essential to stop, and quiet the inside, in order to calm the outer storm. The words that kept reoccurring in my mind were, it is not about what is on the outside that matters, it is what is on the inside that is transformative.I was reminded of this poignant lesson while I stopped my life to make this excursion to San Francisco for the weekend. Even though the previous week there was a tornado of sorts going on around me. This retreat was a day where I stopped my world of counseling, and carpooling, from packing lunches and providing motherly support to have a magical experience in the middle of a forest with friends and near and far.This was only one of many extraordinary things that happened over last weekend. Last weekend was about going inside in every sense of the word.It was about laying around inside a home, on a bed, three or four women sharing stories over tea and bottled water. Confessing our fears about being a mother, losing a parent, or dying of cancer. It was about brushing each other’s hair, as we learned to do as young girls 30 years ago, sharing advice, wisdom, or just kind words. Reassuring each other by saying, “It will all be okay, I know how you feel, life really sucks some days, or I am scared too.” It was about laughing so hard our stomachs ached, and tears rolled down our faces, over dumb decisions we made in our 20’s and 30’s, or just a joke that we knew friends for over 20 years would have a deep understanding to laugh about.I had a moment where I was sitting inside at a café with three of my friends, all in our 40’s, married, with children between the ages of 5-10. And sitting right next to us were four younger women, single, in their 20’s, childless (I think), and I was reminded of the magic of age and wisdom. I had an overwhelming sense of peace around the deep understanding that I am settling into my life in my 40’s. This grounding looks like conversations not about one-night stands, what to wear that evening, how drunk you were the night before or how hung-over you are today. No our conversations were about support, life decisions, husbands’ jobs, and our search for creativity and balance in the work life category.We talked for hours about siblings that have passed, infertility, and the deep pain around the addiction to perfection. Discussing how we prefer to now have one glass a wine versus 3-5 cocktails, questioning should we feed our kids gluten, disconnect our internet cables because of electronic waves, or who knows the best energy healer in town.And why this weekend was so magical for me is because this is where I want to be in my life at 43 years of age. I want to be a yoga retreat in meditation, versus a bar, I want to spend hours in a coffee shop with dear friends, then spending hours at my job, and I want to not care what the weather is like outside because I realize the inside is so much more important than the outside will ever be.I want to leave you with this thought, Magic does happen, everyday, not to sound to wizardly or “rainbowy”, but it does. Magic happens when you can keep a peaceful and tranquil inside, even when your outside world may be falling apart. You can “Have a magical day” by realizing the beauty of friendship, good coffee, and yummy food. Magic happens when you can sit for hours listening deeply to your friend’s stories and knowing that they can, and will listen to yours. Thank you my dear friends, Merlins, and magicians for a heart-opening, uncontrollably laughing, belly full weekend. I leave you to travel back to your homes but will forever hold you “Magically Inside” my heart.
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