There’s the phone it was james earl jones calling me personally for Verizon™ and is everybody a fucking slut these days and the only honest prostitutes anymore are the actual prostitutes and I thought we were on the frickin’ no-call list and why can’t writers get a piece of the almighty endorsement dollar why should illiterate-athletes-on-steroids and actors get all the dough what the hell I’ll sell out, this page brought to you by Miller Genuine Draft™ after a hard day of stream of consciousness I like nothing better than kickin’ it back with a nice cold MGD™! Now I don’t have to worry about book sales fuck ‘em I’ll just endorse something staring at the computer screen all day long can really dry out a writer’s eyes that’s why whenever I finish a chapter I soothe my tired eyes with Visine™ gets the red out™, there we just paid off the mortgage typing my bestselling novels is really hard on the finger joints that’s why I use Extra-Strength Tylenol™ for that nagging muscle pain and then we’ll have the publishers themselves getting in on it Budweiser™, Hyundai™, and Doubleday™ bring you the “Grisham-over-America”™ Booksigning Tour! And what’s next Stephen Hawking has the Microsoft™-TacoBell™-Sir Isaac Newton Chair at Time-Warner™-OxfordUniversity slutslutslutslutslutslutslut