On Sunday, I will finish my 6th half marathon! I usually use the word "attempt" instead of "finish," because there's no real guarantee I will cross the finish line. Although I've already finished two full marathons and five half marathons, 21 kilometers is an impressive distance and anything can happen along the way. It's been two years since I made it 21 kms.

I won't even entertain the idea of not finishing. I believe a positive attitude brings positive results. I'm confident I have the drive and determination to push myself to the end regardless of how my body reacts. I've invested time and money into this goal and once I set my mind on something, I do whatever it takes to succeed.

Although I've had several successfully training runs and managed to make it 18 kilometers a few weeks ago, I'm not in tiptop condition. My pace is slower, my knees hurt and the weather is supposed to be humid and rainy. It's highly unlikely my finishing time will be a personal best. My personal best was 2 hours, 38 minutes, from five years ago. I'm aiming for under 3 hours on Sunday and even that might not happen.

So...why am I doing this again?

I've been wondering that since I signed up in January. In Cottage Cheese Thighs, I claimed the last half marathon I did with my mom would be my last. Every year I say it's my last. It's a huge commitment and it gets harder each year because unfortunately, my body isn't getting any younger.

So, why?
Nostalgia was the reason I signed up. I was looking at past finish line photos and wanted to experience it again. Ego inspired me to train, since if I'm going to go through with it, I want to finish with a time that makes me proud. Stubbornness kept me motivated, because I refuse to be a quitter.

Now, nostalgia, ego and stubbornness are sometimes negative emotions that can cause more problems than good. I'm not promoting these as acceptable reasons to finish a marathon. I'm just being honest as to what got me into this mess.

The reasons don't matter as much as the results. I know how amazing it feels to achieve a tough goal. Even though I don't have the best motives, I'm certain the experience will be worth it. There's an incredible rush of pride when you cross a finish line. The confidence I've gained over the last few years was built on completing challenges despite all obstacles. Sunday will prove I still have what it takes to beat the odds and rise to the occasion.

That's why I'll be "finishing" my 6th half marathon on Sunday.